Alana
After five days in the hospital, I could go home, but I still had to continue my bed rest under the supervision of my parents and a psychologist. The second week was coming to an end, and to be honest, I was terribly tired of everything.
I did not even want to imagine what Mom and Dad went through when they received the news from the Boston hospital that my heart stopped. Dropping everything, they flew over from New York in record time and spent the entire night propping up the walls of the hospital, until Mrs. Norton convinced them to go rest in 'my' apartment.
Jess, Alex and Amanda visited me all the time, but I was embarrassed in front of Mike, so I asked him not to come. I tried not to ask about him at all, although my heart ached from the fact that he did not even try to find out the reason – he simply believed the photos. However, my friend herself started a conversation about him on the last day of my stay in the hospital.
***
"He asks about you all the time. Every day, he sits by the doors of the ward, but doesn't dare enter," the blonde said.
"It doesn't matter anymore. It's over between us... I can't look him in the eye after this."
"He's never experienced such powerful emotions before in his life. Mike's never loved anyone. You're the only one he's opened his heart to."
"I don't blame him for this," I whispered, feeling the tears rising in my throat. "He doesn't believe me."
"He believes you, Alana! He realized his mistake!" She paused for a moment, and then continued, "Alex knows... I'm sorry... We were at Wood's, but that son of a bitch proved to us you came to him yourself, and there was mutual love between you. However, we have all the medical reports confirming you were unconscious. Amanda was seriously thinking about putting him behind bars, and she's very belligerent."
I smiled at the thought. Internally. On the outside, though, I just closed my eyes and sighed heavily.
"Alana, I understand how hard it is for you, but try to remember what happened."
"I remember Miranda taking you somewhere. There was no one around, and then a sharp pain in my neck, and darkness took me. I woke up in a hotel room and this disgusting reality confronted me."
"At a hotel? Could you tell me the name and number of the room?"
"Here are your practical exercises," I said, handing her some papers as I tried to dispel this depressing situation, but in the end, I laid out everything I remember.
For a few days, I felt different. I got tired quickly, but this was not surprising; despite being on sick leave, I tried not to keep up with my studies and did my assignments at home.
All the smells around me became much sharper and more expressive. I even argued with my mother, claiming that her perfume was fake because it didn't stink like that before.
My appetite disappeared. I did not feel hunger, and the thought that I needed to eat made me sick.
The dream disappeared. There were headaches, even once so bad, it almost came to fainting.
And everything would have been fine; it could have been written off as emotional exhaustion until my mom put a couple of pregnancy tests in front of me and shoved me into the bathroom. I was very skeptical about this, because stress could influence a woman's cycles, and I had so many reasons to be anxious.
After doing what I had to, I sat on the floor and waited for the result.
Two different tests. One ordinary, the other electronic, but the result was the same.
"Not this..." I breathed softly and looked up, mentally addressing the Almighty.
What sin did I commit? Why am I going through all the circles of hell? Did I really need even more suffering, by being pregnant?
I lost track of how long I sat on the cold bathroom floor. After shaking with wild sobs, complete apathy seized me, and I stared lifelessly at nothing. I kept repeating the same question in my head...
Who's the father?
Closing my eyes, I remembered my last night with Mike: smooth movements, sensual touching, gentle kisses... And we completely lost our heads, forgetting to use protection...
Children are born of great love. My mother's words suddenly surfaced, and I desperately wanted to believe it.
Do you remember the movie The Gift? Pleasant memories were replaced by a terrible picture of an envelope with its horrible contents. An invisible force squeezed my heart again, and I felt an incredible pain in my chest. Curling up, I trembled, and my tear ducts went into overdrive.
Why did he put those condoms in the envelope? Was he trying to show me how many times he took advantage of me? He must have had unprotected intercourse with me more than once. Was he trying to get me pregnant? Only he didn't take into account that I had been with Mike before.
Bastard...
Eventually, I calmed down. There was no more strength left in my body and, apparently, I did not show signs of life for a very long time, because an urgent knock on the door followed by insistent pulling on the handle brought me out of my inner torment.
"Alana, dear, open up!" Mom had already started hammering on the wooden surface, and Dad was ready to take it off the hinges. Forcing myself to get up from the floor, I went out to my parents.
There was a long silence in the living room. No one wanted to be the first to speak about the unexpected news, but we had to decide how to live with this.
"My girl." My mother was the first to break the silence. "A child is an enormous responsibility, but also a great joy," she said and gently took my hands in her palms, squeezing them slightly, showing her unconditional support.
"Dear," Dad said, continuing the conversation, "no matter how hard it is, we will always help. You can take a sabbatical, we'll go back to New York and finish everything there. We'll sell the house and move to Boston so you can go back to university."
The kindness of my parents always amazed me and not a day passed without me thanking God for them.
"Do you want me to keep the baby? What if Mark's the father?"
"Does it really matter? The child is not to blame for anything, Alana, you have to understand this..."
While my mother quietly and calmly told me about the importance of having a child in any woman's life, I watched my father. He sat with a very dejected look, thinking about something. After some mental anguish, he spoke, avoiding eye contact.
"In fact, you just have no way out," he said calmly, paying absolutely no attention to his wife's angry look. "You can't have an abortion... Having blood with a negative Rh factor, there is a huge probability you might not have children in the future, as this is your first pregnancy. As a future doctor, understand this perfectly, my daughter... Regardless of who fathered the child, this will be the most beloved grandson or granddaughter in the world..."
I closed my eyes, letting out the tears. Small drops fell from my eyelashes and rolled down my cheeks to my chin, leaving wet traces of spiritual relief.
Thanks... Thank you for being in my life...
Even Amanda didn't know about my new situation. I decided to keep it a secret as long as possible. Another week passed. Peter Gault recommended a good female doctor who observed me during the pregnancy. I did the necessary tests and already wanted to go back to school.
Staying inside the house the entire time weighed heavily on my already troubled state of mind. The walls had an oppressive presence. My memories suffocated me, and a dark turn in my imagination threatened to slowly kill me. One day, to let off some steam, I went for an evening jog near the apartment, thinking that physical activity would help distract me. The street was deserted; apparently everyone had already left work and was spending time at home. Even in this area, there were only a few cars.
At the intersection, a bright red Buggati Veyron pulled up in front of me, driven by none other than the storm of all my nightmares. He rolled down the window and asked me to get in the car.
Will it never end?
My legs were in place, and the fear pulsed through me, squeezing my head in a vice.
Run, you fool!
Stupor... My body absolutely did not obey, shackling my muscles with a nervous trembling...
Not accepting my silence, Mark abruptly pulled over to the side of the road, cutting off my escape and, getting out of the car, pressed me against it with his back.
"Will you leave me alone?!" I came to my senses and screamed loudly. A strong hysteria rose in me. "I almost died! Isn't that enough?! You destroyed me! Tore everything to shreds and burned me alive! What else do you want?!"
"I would follow you, Alana. I'm not afraid of death, but that's not the point. We need to talk. You should know the truth about Norton. Mike doesn't love you, and I can prove it. Get in the car. I swear I won't lay a finger on you."
"Fuck you with your truth!" I tried to break out of the trap, fighting with my hands and feet, screaming hysterically, but there was no one there to help me.
And then something happened that I did not expect: a sharp pain, like a fireball, ran down my left cheek. The shock of it terrified me. He hit me... And, taking advantage of my temporary confusion, he pushed me into the car, pressed the lock button so that I would not have time to escape, and slammed the door...
Arriving at someone's apartment, which turned out to be completely empty, I already regretted a hundred times that I went for this run. However, to my surprise, Mark did not take advantage.
"Honey, I just want you to be happy. With me. You, me and our baby," he said the last words in a whisper, touching my stomach with his fingers.
How did he know?
In complete shock, I stared at him, and my body froze, as if the temperature in the room had dropped below zero. Fear, like a poisonous snake, rose up my spine, looping itself around my throat.
"This is not your child and has nothing to do with you," I snapped as I pulled his hand away and stepped aside.
"That's easy to check, dear. Which I'll do immediately after you give birth."
"Jesus, Mark, I don't love you. At school I did, yes, but you ruined it yourself. Now my heart is occupied by someone else." I remember how such a phrase ended in the back room, so I need to be safe somehow...
"By whom?" He grinned. "Someone who doesn't give a damn? Do you know that his love is fake? That's why I was furious when I saw you together. That, and his mediocre behavior," Mark took out a small Dictaphone and turned it on.
"She ran away from right under my nose! Can you imagine? But OK, I'll go to the end of the earth to get her, and she will regret ever coming to the resort."
Was that Mike's voice?
"What exactly do you want from her? Sex? From what you've said, I can state with confidence that you'll have a hard time even getting her to smile."
Not again, not again... I can't stand it a second time...
"Sex is last century. Let's set the bar higher. I want her love."
Mike, please stop... What are you talking about?
"And what are you gonna do with her if she falls in love with you?"
You could hear from Alex's voice that he didn't like this at all, and neither did I...
"Nothing. I won't have to live with that burden."
God... Is this some kind of joke?
"Bad idea, really bad idea. Can you imagine what's gonna happen to the poor girl? You can't play with people's feelings like that, Mike. It's mean, to say the least."
It hurt me to hear that...
"Oh, come on! Are you mother Theresa? Decided to act as my consciousness? I'll just prove that even girls like her give in when there's a chance of a stable, comfortable life with a rich guy. That's it."
It's impossible...
Staggering, I would have fallen, but the table behind me saved me. A repetition of history? I held my breath, and my eyes stopped seeing because of the tears that welled up in them. My lungs were burning. It hurt. My heart ached. I'm dead, right now. Here. Forever.
I had to get out of this den of lies and betrayal, but my legs turned into cotton wool, refusing to support my body's weight. They buckled, and I would have fallen to the floor if I had not clung to the sofa. Inhale, exhale... I was dizzy, and I urgently needed fresh air. Leaning against the back of the sofa, I turned to Wood.
"Only I love you, Alana," he said as he took a step toward me, "sincerely, and with all my heart." The second step. "Take my hand, give us a chance, and I swear I'll make you the happiest woman in the world." He came closer and hugged me and, without waiting for an answer, kissed me gently.
Christ, what's happening to me? What sins do I suffer for so much? I couldn't even lift a finger. The only protest I could offer was the wet tracks running down my cheeks.
The noise from the corridor brought me to my senses. Judging by the number of voices, a crowd had arrived at the apartment for a party. Did Mark want to put on a show? What a bastard he is...
"Nothing can be returned and resurrected from the ashes, Mark," I said, and pushed him away from me. "For me you died, right there, on the floor of the school toilet..."
"Only in your dreams, my love..." I heard the answer when I turned away.
Leaving the room, I ran into a dozen people, including a painfully familiar trio. They looked at me with horror, and the dagger of disappointment went through my heart.
"Alana..." Mike said my name so softly, as if someone held him by his throat.
He looked worried, his skin was pale, his eyes haggard, and this black-haired leech was hanging on his right arm. I think she got her way, judging by how close their bodies were. Having assessed the situation, I felt out of place and unwanted at this party. After taking one last look at my former friends, I fled from that ill-fated apartment.
When I entered the elevator, my heart was squeezed by a beloved voice asking me to stop.
"Alana! Wait! We need to talk!" Mike shouted as he ran after me, but luckily, the elevator doors slammed shut before he could get to me.
Panic rose. I refused to believe that Norton had done this to me... He had torn out my heart and thrown it into the fire, turning it into a mere handful of ashes... I felt bad. Tears were choking me, and my whole body was shaking.
Running out into the street, I immediately headed for the road without looking back, hoping to catch a taxi. And how lucky I was to find a solitary car cruising around the neighborhood in search of a customer. However, I did not have time to get into it, as firm hands intercepted me and, turning me around, pressed me against the door.
"Stop running away from me! We need to talk. What were you doing here?" Norton's voice faltered, but his gaze was firmer than a few moments ago.
"Take your hands off me and never touch me again!" I put so much anger and contempt into the scream that it was enough to make Mike recoil.
"What's going on?"
" I hate you... You're a heartless bastard playing with my feelings, and you're going to burn in hell for it!" Turning, I tried to open the door, but my trembling fingers did not obey my brain at all.
"What are you talking about? Do you even hear what you're saying?" He brought me back to my original position, but I couldn't stand it. I hit him with my knee between his legs and, taking advantage of his moment of weakness, quickly got into the taxi and asked the driver to leave as soon as possible.
Realizing that Mike Norton was not one who just gives up, I literally turned the corner, paid the full amount for the trip home and walked down another street. I thought I would buy some time and think about what to do next.
Immersed in my thoughts, I lost track of everything around me. And all I could remember is the bright light, the squeak of tires, the impact and the terrible pain. After that, the whole world disappeared.