My senior year started. My parents were having me focus on which college I wanted to go to, and finishing out high school with a great GPA.
But all I had on my mind was one thing- Max.
Thoughts of her constantly flooded my mind. I texted her throughout the day whenever I could. She had more freedom to text since she was doing most of her classes at the community college.
I was still working- 2 days a week. I had a strict schedule of Wednesday nights and Sunday afternoon/nights.
Lucky for me- Max was working Wednesday nights as well. She took on more hours than me, she said she needed as much money as she could get- and that when she turned 18 on January 20th, she would pick up even more hours.
The three people that knew about Max- McKinley, Peyton, and Drew- were happy for me. By the time school started, Max and I still hadn't labeled anything- and we also hadn't had sex yet.
The most we had done was kiss. I didn't know much about her sexual history yet. She seemed a bit nervous when it came to sex- but I knew we would get there. There was no rush.
The first week of my senior year came and went, and Max invited me over to her house Friday night.
I hadn't actually gone to Max's house yet either.
I felt nervous to go to her house- mainly because I was lying to my parents about where exactly I would be. I had gotten used to doing that with Gabby, but it seemed much more real with Max. Like I had more to lose.
Because I did.
I told my mom that McKinley and I were going out to eat with Katie and Priyanka- who I was still friends with.
But I had Max's address in my phone maps. And I kept getting terrified that my car would break down and my cover would be blown. My parents would find out, and my life would be hell.
But I pulled up to Max's house, without my car breaking down.
Max lived in a townhome development, in an end unit. I could see that Max's yard was kept up with and clean, but some over her neighbors had tons of toys, supplies, and alcohol bottles strewn on on the front yards.
Max told me that her mom wasn't home, but her sister, Charlotte was.
I texted Max that I had arrived, and I saw her front door open a moment later. She stood there, and waved to me.
When I walked up, she opened the door and pulled me into a hug.
"I'm glad you're here." she said,
"Me too." I said, and we pulled away.
I noticed a girl standing behind Max, looking at us. She had very similar facial features to Max, but her hair was long and dark blonde.
"Bella, this my sister, Charlotte." Max gestures toward the girl looking at us. "Char, are you just going to stand there and stare or say hello?"
"I'm just shocked that you've pulled a girl that's pretty."
Charlotte said, and then walked away.
Max rolled her eyes. "That's Charlotte for you. Sorry about her. Want to go up to my room?"
"That's okay. She kind of complimented me?" I laughed.
I was taking in Max's house as I spoke to her. It was on the smaller side, and it was quite cluttered. There wasn't any leftover food or anything out, it was dirty- but there was just a lot of stuff everywhere. On the couch there were a bunch of envelopes and pieces of paper that were half unfolded.
"Let's go up." Max took my hand gently, and she led me up the creaky wooden steps.
There was a narrow hall with five doors when we got upstairs.
"Do you and your sister share a room?" I asked.
"No, thank god. This house has three bedrooms." Max said, leading me to the room furthest from the steps.
There was piece of paper taped on the door that said in black marker: KEEP OUT. OR ELSE :)
I chuckled when I saw the sign.
"I had to put a smiley face to let them know it wasn't an actual threat." Max said.
She then opened the door to her bedroom. Like the rest of her home, it was cluttered. I had learned from work that Max wasn't super organized- which was fine.
I noticed in the corner of Max's bedroom there was a big, clear container with lots of yarn that was multicolored.
"Do you crochet or knit?" I asked her.
She nodded. "Yes. I love crocheting and knitting. I even sell some of things I crochet or knit online- on a site called Etsy."
"I had no idea! You've never mentioned it." I turned to Max.
Max shrugged, "I've been made fun for for it before. Been told it's an old lady hobby. I've been made to feel like a loser because I like to crochet and knit."
"I think it's amazing." I said to Max, "I can't do anything artistic. I want to see some of the things you have made."
Max smiled at me, excited. "Okay. I'll show you some pieces."
She walked over to her closet, which was open and strewn with clothes, and reached to the back of it. She then pulled out another plastic container and brought it over to her bed.
"Come sit. I'll show you some things I've made." she said.
I sat down on Max's twin size bed, and she opened the container.
It was filled with scarves, beanies, small crocheted animals and shapes, and even a knit top.
I held a small, green crocheted frog. "You are so talented, Max." I said.
She shrugged, but smiled. "Thanks. I learned when I was young to crochet and knit...my therapist that I went to suggested that I do something to distract my mind from...well, everything."
I put my hand on Max's. "Well, I think you're amazing."
She gave me a genuine smile and then said, "I want to give you something."
She got up, went over to her nightstand drawer, pulled out something knitted that was circular and yellow, and then came back over to the bed and handed it to me.
I looked down to see a bright yellow circular ball with two eyes and a smile knitted onto it.
"It's one of the first things I ever knitted. It's super simple, I know. But I've always kept it. I told my old therapist when I made it that I wanted to give it to a friend, but I didn't really have any. So...she told me to keep it and then give it to someone that makes me smile one day." Max said, looking down as she spoke.
"I love it." I said to Max, holding the smiley face ball.
Max looked up at me, "You make me smile- a lot. So I want you to have it. I hope that's not weird."
"It's not weird at all!" I said, "I absolutely love it. I'm going to keep it, always."
My heart felt like it could burst out of my chest.
I didn't know it was possible to like someone this much.
"Good." Max smiled at me, "And you can take any scarves or beanies that you like."
"Do you knit all of your beanies?" I asked her.
"Most of them. Some I've gotten from PacSun." Max said.
"You look good in beanies." I said, "Well, you look good in anything."
Max leaned against me a little. "So do you. You look good in a Chopped uniform, the pretty black dress you wore in the park...and now."
I looked at Max, wanting to kiss her. She must have felt the same, because her gaze flickered down to my lips.
I started to lean in, and Max said, "I still get nervous to kiss you."
"Relax." I said to her, running my nails down her arm, "Just go with it."
We started to kiss, and I could feel the intensity growing. The looks she was giving me in between kisses were making me melt. And before I knew it, Max was laying on her bed, and I was on top of her, kissing her neck.
"W-wait." Max said, breathless.
I immediately stopped and sat up. "Are you okay?"
"This is amazing...you kissing my neck, god, it feels so good. I'm just a little nervous." Max looked up at me.
"What is making you nervous?" I asked.
"I've only had sex one time with a girl. Well, I've only had sex twice total. One time with a boy, one time with a girl. And...I bet you're more experienced than me." Max bit her lip.
"I've only had sex with one girl." I said, "That's it."
I decided to lay down next to Max, so I could talk to her.
"Did you have sex with her a lot?" Max asked, turning her head to me.
I nodded. "We did. She was a year older than me, and taught me...a lot. But we can go as slow as you want. That doesn't bother me at all."
"I want to fuck you." Max said, "I want to make you feel good. But I'm just nervous I won't be good, and then it'll ruin what we have."
"Listen to me." I said to Max, "We have all the time in the world to explore each other's bodies. We can take it slow, we can do whatever you want. Nothing is going to make me not like you or want you."
Max grinned at me. "I needed to hear that."
I then asked, "Was it a long time ago that you had sex?"
"With a boy. I was 14 when I did that. But the last time I had sex with a girl was back in March. I had a little thing going with this girl at my school, Rhiannon. She is a year younger. We would make out and everything, but one time we took it further. And I realized that I just didn't want to again." Max explained.
"You just didn't like her in that way?"
"Yeah. And I didn't want to lead her on at all." Max said. Then she smiled at me, "I think it'll be even better too with you. I know it will be. Because I actually really like you."
"I really like you too." I smiled back at Max. Then I said, "When you did fuck a girl, what did you do?"
"Well, we used our fingers on each other at the same time. Then she went down on me...and I ate her out too." Max said, "I liked doing that. And I know I'd love doing that to you."
"I really want to make you feel good." I said to Max, and then whispered, "I want to make you cum."
Max's breath hitched. "Well, now I'm even hornier than before."
"Let me use my tongue on you. If you want." I said.
"Only if you'll let me do it back to you."
"Deal."
I could tell Max was self conscious as we both started to undress. But I reassured her- she looked amazing. She wore a black bra over her small chest, and red boyshorts.
I pulled off the boyshorts as I kissed down her flat stomach, and then I started to kiss down even further. And further. Until I got to the spot that had Max start to squirm under my grip.
"Oh, fuck. Bella, fuck." she moaned softly, and I was enjoying every single minute. She didn't taste like much of anything, and she was getting wetter and wetter.
"Just like that." she said, and then moments later...her release. She had her hands gripping my hair, and her grip softened.
I leaned up and kissed her. She smiled at me, a glint in her eye, and then with surprising force, flipped me over, so I was laying down.
She started kissing all over my body, like I did to her. And when she got down lower, she gripped my thighs tightly.
She was careful and calculated with every flick of her tongue, and movement of her lips. She seemed to go along with what I responded with light moans and movements to.
I could just tell how much she wanted to please me. And she did. I practically saw stars as I felt my body relax into her mouth.
Afterwards she put on her t-shirt and underwear, and I put everything on except my shorts.
We laid next to each other, and Max faced me.
"Tonight has been amazing." she said, softly.
"You make me really happy, Max." I said.
And I meant it. This was what I dreamed of when I was younger- moments like this. Just not with the gender I was "supposed" to.
And to me, there was nothing wrong with that.