Getting to know Max, as more than just a friend or a co worker, almost didn't feel real. It showed me that what I had with Gabby was nothing compared to what I was feeling for Max.
What I had with Gabby was physical- she taught me the ropes when it came to sex. When it came to going down on a girl, 69'ing, and sex toys. I wasn't an expert, but I knew what I was doing now.
With Max- I wanted to get to know her for her. Sure, I was attracted to her. I wanted to learn her body, know what she felt like and tasted like. But getting to know Max for who she was was the icing on the cake.
The week after we kissed, I felt giddy going to work. We had been texting everyday- and having this secret go on with her felt thrilling.
We worked together the Friday after Rashad's party- almost a week after we kissed.
The whole shift we tried to not make it obvious that we had something going on, and I think we did a pretty good job of it. We did not flirt at all- we couldn't. Sure, we stole a few glances and smiles, but no one noticed.
I was leaving before Max, and I felt disappointed that I wouldn't get time with her. I went back to the break room, and grabbed my bag.
"Hey."
I turned around to see Max standing near the door, behind me.
"Oh! Hey." I couldn't help but smile at Max as she walked over.
"I told them up front that I had to call my mom." Max said, "But that was a lie, of course. I wanted to talk to you."
"I don't want you getting in trouble." I said, my heart beating faster as Max leaned against the lockers next to me, where we all kept our bags.
"Don't worry, I'll be quick." Max said, "I wanted to see what you were doing tomorrow night. I thought maybe we could hangout. I like texting you...but I would love to spend time with you in person."
"Yeah. Absolutely." I nodded, "I'd really like that. What would you want to do?"
"Maybe we could go for a walk in the park?" Max asked me, "We can figure out which park."
"Sounds great." I nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow, Max."
She smiled at me. "I can't wait."
Neither could I.
I lied and told my mom that I was going to McKinley's house. And I told McKinley about Max. She was really happy for me- she had been there for me throughout everything with Gabby- who now felt like a distant memory.
I put on a black sundress with buttons and a sheer white cardigan. I slightly curled my hair as well. I wanted to look pretty- I wanted Max to think I looked pretty.
I felt nervous. I felt ridiculous for this- I had worked with Max plenty of times and we already kissed.
I knocked on the door of the nursery, where Peyton was with Savannah.
My brother, Drew, who was home for the summer for another week was also there, surprisingly. I wanted to just talk to Peyton- not Drew. So I decided I would just casually say goodbye.
"You look awfully cute." Peyton said to me, raising her eyebrows.
"Oh, thanks." I said, "I'm hanging out with McKinley."
"Are you two going out somewhere?" Drew asked me.
"Yeah. Maybe for dinner." I said.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you're going on a date." Drew chuckled.
I felt my face flush.
"You're turning red- you're going on a date, aren't you?" he laughed, "Don't worry, I won't rat you out."
"Thank you." I nodded at Drew.
"Who's the guy? So I can beat his ass if he hurts you." Drew said.
I looked at Peyton.
"Tell him." she mouthed.
I nodded back to her.
"Are you two speaking some secret language?" Drew asked.
"I'm not going out with a guy." I said, my heart pounding.
"Oh?" Drew looked at me. "A girl, then?"
I nodded.
"Cool." Drew smiled at me, "What's her name?"'
"Her name is Max." I said, taking a deep breath, "Well, her full name is Maxine, but she goes by Max."
"And I take it this is a secret?" Drew asked.
"Yes. You can't tell anyone." I said.
"You have my word." Drew said, "Now go have fun on your date."
"Not too much fun." Peyton said, "Oh wait, you can't get pregnant. Have all the fun you want."
"Okay, bye!" I said, embarrassed, leaving the room.
As I drove to the park Max and I were meeting at, I thought about how accepting my siblings were.
Why can't my parents be that way?
I dreaded the day I had to tell them that I was gay.
I arrived at the park, and Max texted me that she was already there.
I saw her getting out of Sid, her car. She wore a pair of ripped black jean shorts and a black t-shirt. She did not have a hat on, and her hair was in a small high ponytail.
She looks so pretty.
Max spotted me, smiled, and waved me over. I walked toward her, heart pounding.
"Hey." I smiled at her, pulling her in for a hug.
"Hey, you." she hugged me back. I noticed she was carrying a small plastic bag.
"What did you bring?" I nodded my head toward the bag.
"Oh, I saw a new bakery opened up! They only sell bundt cakes- and I got us two mini ones. I figured we can share them if we get hungry." Max said, her eyes squinting slightly from the sun.
"You didn't have to do that! Thank you." I said to her, with a smile.
She looked at me. "You look really pretty by the way, Bella."
"I was thinking the same about you." I said, and I swore I saw Max look down at my lips.
We started walking together in the park, side by side, though not holding hands.
I found myself paranoid- that I would see someone that my parents or family knew.
Max seemed to take notice.
"Are you worried you'll see someone you know?" she asked me.
"Honestly, yes. Then I'll have to come up with some excuse to my parents as to why I am with someone they don't know of and why I'm not with my best friend, McKinley." I said.
"I have an idea." Max said, "It's a little bit of a walk, but we will have privacy, I'm guessing."
I followed Max off the path, and onto the grass, where the trees were.
My mind wandered back to when I had made out with Dorian at the park, against a tree.
I was now with someone I really liked- and wasn't questioning myself anymore.
Max and I kept walking, and when we were out of sight from everyone, she took my hand.
"Is this okay?" she asked me.
"More than okay." I nodded.
We kept walking, until we finally reached...a playground.
There was a swing set, and a jungle gym that looked like a pirate ship, as well as a bench, which Max and I sat down on.
"How did you know this playground exists?" I asked her, sitting close beside her.
"My mom somehow knew it did- she would bring my sister and I here when we were younger sometimes. It's like I could picture exactly where it was." Max said.
"I know your childhood was rough...but it sounds like your mom did what she could do to make it as okay as possible for you." I said.
Max nodded, "She did try. Did she always succeed? No. But she definitely tried. And she still does. She works long hours as a Nurse Manager at a retirement home."'
"She's a nurse? I'm thinking of maybe going into Nursing."
"I could see that." Max grinned at me.
"How about you, what do you think you might want to major in?" I asked Max.
"I don't think I'm going to go to college, at least not right away. I can't really afford it, and I don't believe I would get a scholarship. I'll figure it out." Max shrugged.
"You will." I nodded, "Besides, college isn't for everyone."
"Definitely not for me at first." Max said, and then reached into the plastic bag. "Want some bundt cake?"
"Yes please! Good call on that, I'm pretty hungry."
Max grinned and pulled out two cakes in plastic containers, and two plastic forks. One of the cakes looked to be red velvet, the other was confetti.
"I know it makes me sound like a kid, but I love funfetti cake. The multi-colored sprinkles make me happy." Max said.
"I love funfetti too- and red velvet. Especially the cream cheese icing. Let's dig in." I said.
Max and I sat on the bench, eating the mini bundt cakes. It felt so...natural to be there with her, on the bench in the park, eating cake. Nothing about it felt forced, and I was genuinely enjoying myself.
Max was making me excited again. After Gabby, I felt like I had lost my spark a bit. Max was bringing it back.
When we finished the food, Max balled everything together and threw it out in a trash can by the bench. Then she said, "Want to explore the playground a bit?"
"I want to go to the top of the pirate ship!" I said, pointing to the jungle gym, which had a high point that was supposed to be the end of the "boat."
"Let's go!" Max said, racing toward it.
I followed her, and she took my hand as we climbed up the steps to the top.
We got to the high point of the jungle gym, and by the time we were up there, it was now dusk outside. I looked out, and saw stars shining.
Max stepped slightly in front of me and said, "Put your hands on my waist."
"I'm not going to object to that." I said, putting each hand on Max's slim waist.
Max then flung her arms out, and said, "It's like the movie, the Titanic! We are standing on the edge of a ship. You're the Leo to my Kate right now."
I couldn't help but laugh at Max's goofy nature.
"I want a turn to be Kate." I said, "I'm going to step in front of you, now put your hands on my waist."
"Like you said, I'm not going to object to that either." Max said, stepping behind me, and putting her hands on my waist. I felt chills throughout my body as she touched me.
I flung my arms out.
"If only 'My Heart Will Go On' was playing right now."'I said, and Max laughed.
She then moved her hand slightly, and hugged me around the waist from behind. I could feel her slightly nuzzling into my neck.
"Max...I'm really glad we are doing this." I said, "Spending time together."
"So am I." Max said, and she lightly kissed my cheek, "I just want to keep spending more and more time with you. It's like I can't get enough."
"I can't get enough of you." I said, leaning into Max.
We stood there, in the slight breeze of the summer night, under the stars.
"This is one of those moments that I am going to capture in my mind." Max said, still holding me.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"Moments that could not be any more perfect to me, even if I thought of ways to try. I'm here, in this park, at peace. Under the stars. With a beautiful girl- who I really, really like." Max explained.
I turned around to face Max, and I looped my arms around her neck.
With her not much taller than me, she looked down, but not far.
"I really, really like you too, Max." I said.
She smiled, and then leaned in and kissed me. She caressed the small of my back as we sunk into each other.
Bliss. This was all I needed.