Chris: Previously on Total Drama... Y/N, Sugar, and Sky created their own challenges. Sky came up with hurdles, Y/N jumped 'em, Sugar collected 'em. Y/N's treetop race was more entertaining than a sawing monkey. Not only did Sugar win, she had flung doing it. [chuckles] So it all came down to Sugar's challenge. A talent show. Sheriff Sky belch blasted targets to bits. We were all moved by Y/N's comedy act. And when Sugar combined rap and country music... well it was something I will never forget. See ya! Ha ha. Down to two from three, 'cause now we're Sugar-free. But it'll still be sweet to see who gets beat. So grab a seat. There's one million bucks on the line! It's finale time! On Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!
Sky: Ah, sleep. Come on, sleep! [confessional] Ugh, what is going on? I've never had trouble sleeping before a big competition. The only difference this time is that I can win a million dollars. Yeah. It's probably the money. I bet Y/N's having the same problem.
Y/N: [snoring] [chuckling] [confessional] [snoring] Huh? Whoa? Wha? Hoo! I knew Lofi beats and ASMR's would come in handy. They can put you to sleep so can be refreshed the next day to win a challenge and score the million, that Or keep you from falling asleep riding your bike. [real time] [snoring] Ah, I'm up [grunts] [confessional] Totally works.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
[airhorn blares]
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Sky and Y/N, meeting area, now!
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Chris: Yes. Today, I fire one of you from a cannon, and then start my vacation.
Sky: And you'll hand one of us a million dollars.
Chris: I haven't forgotten, Sky. I'm just focusing on the parts that bring me the most joy. Okay?
Y/N: So Mr McLean Have you decided yet what the challenge is that which I'll win with... be?
Sky: Wow. English much? Boom!
YN: Ha! I am so do English much! that sounded cooler in my head.
Chris: If I may continue... your final challenge is so demanding, the lawyers insisted each of you get a helper. Eh. It's not a horrible idea. Maybe they'll be able to help us find your bodies. So, which of the past contestants would you like as a helper?
Sky: [confessional] Jasmine and Shawn both have the best skill set, but their friends with Y/N, so I can't trust them to help me win. Hmm...
Y/N: [confessional] My prefence based strictly on physical ability, Jasmine and Rodney show upper body strength, Amy and Sammy have cheerleader reflexes, Ella is pretty nimble on her feet, Dave, Scarlett and Max show signs of intelligence, Topher, Shawn, Beardo and Sugar go in the maybe section. So in retrospect, anyone but Leonard.
Sky: I choose Rodney!
Chris: Choose? [chuckles] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Y/N: But you asked us who we would--
Chris: I know. I asked you who you wanted. I did that to be mean. [chuckles] Your helpers will be selected thusly. When you press this button, the possible helpers will flash across the screen. Whoever's face it stops on, is your helper.
Y/N and Sky: Ugh!
Sky: Can we decline to use a helper?
Chris: No, but you do get one chance to pass and spin again, just to make things interesting. Who goes first will be decided by a coin toss.
Y/N: Ow!
Chris: Y/N wins! Let's see who you get.
Y/N: Wait Ella? Sweet! I'll stick with her!
Chris: Sky, you're up.
Chris: Dave!
Sky: [confessional] [groans] [real time] Things ended pretty badly, so um, maybe I'll just try again.
Chris: Are you worried he won't help you because you rejected his love in front of everyone and then failed to even say goodbye to him after he sacrificed himself for you? No more chances. What you get is what you get. And your helper will be... Dave! Wow. What are the odds? [chuckles]
Sky: Ugh, are you kidding me?
Chris: Sky gets Dave and Y/N gets Ella.
[helicopter whirs]
Y/N: Aw! There was a flippy screen that landed on you and was like, bam! Yes! Totally.
[Ella Hugs You]
Ella: Oh Y/N, It's so good to see you My Prince.
[Ella kisses you on the cheek]
Dave: Did you... land on me right away too?
Sky: Uh...
Chris: Oh, Dave. Ha ha... Funny story.
Sky: Chris, please don't.
Chris: Sky landed on you, took another spin, landed on you again, and then whined. Kinda like this. [mocking Sky] "Ugh, are you kidding me?"
Dave: Sorry you got stuck with me. I'll... I'll try not to get in your way!
Y/N: This'll be like taking candy from a baby.
Sky: [confessional] Me against Y/N was fine. But Y/N and Ella? To have any shot of winning, I need Dave to be at his best. I gotta do something!
Sky and Dave: [kissing]
Dave: What was... why... you... kissed me!
Sky: I passed on you because I wanted to focus on the challenge. That's hard when your teamed up with someone you wanna go on a date with.
Dave: You wanna go on a date with me?
Sky: Can you help me win this challenge?
Dave: You bet I can!
Chris: [confessional] [mocking Sky] I am like so confused about what the what with Sky and Dave. I mean, like, what? [real time] Ahem! Reunion's over? Good. Time for your final challenge! I have endearingly titled it "The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Death!"
Dave: I-Is it dangerous?
Chris: [sighs] The Double Duo of Deadly Dying Dangerous Death!
Dave: [hushed, to Sky] It's gonna be dangerous.
Sky: [confessional] He was brighter before, wasn't he?
Chris: Since Scarlett went crazy and changed the island completely by wreaking havoc in the secret underground control room...
Y/N: Don't remind us
Dave: Um...
Chris: No time to explain, Dave. We've yet to explore all the wonderful and bizarre dangers that the island's new landscape has to offer! Until now. Y/N and Sky, with assistance from your helpers, you will race across the island. First one to cross the finish line will recieve... one. Million. Dollars!
Y/N, Ella, Dave, and Sky: [cheering]
Chris: And all you have to do is survive a two-thousand foot plummet from an ice cliff, successfully learn to breathe while submerged in mud, and then sprint two miles across a wide open field, where I'm absolutely sure no harm will come to you.
Chris and Chef: [laughing hysterically]
Chris: The point I'm making is that there's a decent chance you may not survive this.
Y/N, Dave, and Sky: Aw...
Chris: For the first part of the challenge, the lawyers insisted you wear helmets to protect your brains. I mean, who knows? Someday, you may start using them. When you get to the top of the mountain, it'd be a good idea to build a bobsled, or it'll be a very rough ride down! Grab a rope! Your challenge begins now!
[airhorn blares]
Y/N, Ella, Dave, and Sky: Ah!
Chris: "Good luck! Stay safe!"... are things I'd say if I cared.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Dave: Whoa! [grunts]
Ella: Oh, Dear. We're supposed to build a bobsled out of this stuff?
Y/N: Forget about the bobsled! Jump on!
Ella: Yay!
[Ella piggybacks on your shoulders, you start blushing]
Sky: We're falling behind!
Dave: Let's just do what they did. Get on!
Sky: I don't know if I like this idea.
Dave: Well, do you like the idea of losing a million dollars?
Sky: Go, go, go!
Y/N: Ha ha! There's no way they'll catch up to us-- ah! Oh! [screams] I can't see!
Ella: Left! Right! Ah!
Y/N: Ah!
Ella: Right!
Y/N: [confessional] [shuddering]
Sky: We're gaining on them! They keep hitting moguls! We have to go around them, though! We're too late to go through them!
Dave: If Y/N can do it, so can I!
Sky: Dave, no!
Dave and Sky: Whoa!
Dave: [confessional] Y/N is a bit more solid than me, but I plan to start bulking up when I get back home. You know, work out, eat more, carbs? Look, this story's gonna have a happy ending. The boy gets the girl, the girl gets the money! That sounds wrong.
Sky: Whoa!
Dave: Oof!
Dave and Sky: Whoa!
Dave: Oof!
Dave and Sky: Whoa!
Ella: [shuddering] Great work, Y/N... C-Come on!
[puff]
[crack]
Y/N: [shuddering]
Sky: [groans]
Dave: [grunts] Ow. Icy.
Sky: Great, we're trapped. I knew that was a bad idea.
Dave: [groans] I feel awful. I was supposed to help you, not not help you.
Sky: [sighs] It's not your fault, Dave. And I need to tell you something, 'cause I feel bad too, and--
Dave: Not even that adorable kitten is cheering me up.
Sky: Kitten? Hey! Cat-bot! Yeah, I'm talking to you! You hideous fleabag!
Dave: [confessional] Cat-bot? [real time] Sky, what are you doi--
Sky: Shh! I'm getting us out. Just be ready to duck. [out loud] So, are you programmed to lick your butt and poop in a box too? Ha ha!
[charging]
Sky: Duck!
Dave: That was one bad kitty.
[beep]
Chris: This finale's out of control! Sky's yelling at kittens, Dave has cried twice already, and Y/N punched a snowman in the face that turned out to be her. Stay tuned. Someone is leaving here a millionaire. It's the finale of Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Chris: Welcome back. Y/N and helper Ella are the first to arrive here, at the world's largest mud puddle. It's eight feet deep and two-hundred yards across. And since it's too thick to swim through, the only way to the other side is with one of you piggybacking the other.
Y/N: Um, won't the person on the bottom drown?
Chris: Yes.
Ella: Um...
Chris: Unless they use this garden hose.
Y/N: Ech. I think we're both safer if you go on my shoulders.
Ella: are you fine with this? I mean, I'm suppose to be the helper and you're doing all the hard stuff here.
Y/N: Of course I'm fine with it. After you were eliminated, I thought it was over for us. But here we are, together in the finale. If we win, we can split the money!
Ella: Oh my sweet Y/N
[Hugs You]
Y/N: Chris any rules saying other wise
Chris: Actually, I never made any rules about that, so, I guess if you wanted to, you could split the money.
Ella: Yes! We can still do it
[splat]
Dave: No! No, no, no. No. How clean is this mud? Is it just mud? Real, real mud?
Sky: Please, we're falling behind. Let's go already!
Dave: 'Cause last time, I was under an outhouse. And the mud was actually-- whoa! [groaning]
Y/N: Hmm, I have an Idea
[You carry Ella Bridal style]
Y/N: You trust me?
[Ella Nods her head]
Y/N: Okay
Dave: Why are they coming back?
[You hold your breath still carrying Ella and run up and dive into the mud and start swimming]
Dave and Y/N: Ah!
Dave: What are you doing? Get off of me!
Y/N: Hey, watch it! Oof!
[You and Dave start slap fighting]
Dave and Y/N: [grunting]
Chris: [over megaphone] Boring! Deploy the 3.0 model.
[boom]
[whistle]
[bear growls]
Dave and Y/N: Ah!
[splat]
Sky, Dave, Y/N, and Ella: [coughing]
Sky: [confessional] Tied with Y/N, boom! I have a real shot at winning this!
Y/N: [confessional] I so got this in the bag, I can almost feel the million dollar case
Sky, Dave, Y/N, and Ella: Ah! [coughing]
Chris: We're all tied up. It's the perfect time for a little break. Ella, Dave, grab a seat. I'm gonna show you some of my favorite clips from the show?
[Static]
Chris: What gives
Y/N: Funny you should ask that, You didn't think I say something bad about someone as sweet as Ella did you
Chris: Darn it
Y/N: But I have something to show Ella
[You pull out the tape you had in your jacket and put it in the TV, It show's Sugar confession from Episode 6]
Sugar: [confessional] Yeah. So I spelled "ugh-nanymous" wrong. Who cares? Ella is G-A-W-N gone!
[beep]
Ella: Sugar, Got me eliminated?
[Ella cover her face in her hands, You comfort her]
Chris: But I have another trick up my sleeve, Dave, I would hate for you to feel left out, so...
Sky: [on screen] Hi. I'm Sky.
[beep]
Sky: My audition tape? Why would he--
Chris: Let's get to the good part.
Sky: [on screen] But if I do get on the show, I'll really miss my boyfriend Keith
[beep]
Sky: [gasps] Oh no! [confessional] My boyfriend was in the room when I made that audition tape. I had to say that. Truth is, I was going to dump him before I left but ran out of time, and... I really like Dave. Ugh... I messed this up big time.
Chris: [confessional] [acting bratty] I am so like, confused about what is going on with Dave and Sky, I mean, like, did you, like, hear that? Like? [chuckles] [real time] Maybe he missed it.
[beep]
Sky: [on screen] [repeating] I'll really miss my boyfriend Keith. My boyfriend Keith. My boyfriend Keith. [high pitched and slower] My boyfriend Keith... [real life] Dave, I can explain.
Dave: [screams] That was the "but"?! "But I have a boyfriend"?! A boyfriend?!
Y/N: Yeesh, Suck to suck huh, Uh Ella?
Ella: Sugar, got me eliminated
Y/N: Look I know this is heartbreaking but-
Ella: I thought she was my friend, But she [Starts to get angry] Isn't, I was kind to her, but all she did was be mean to me, that fat, uncivilized, two-faced, mean, uncultured [Inhales]
[Ella says many swear words out of anger, their mostly bleeped because, y'know live TV]
Ella: [Breathes in and out]
Y/N: Uh, Ella
Ella: You were right Y/N, That fat disgusting hick is the worst!!!
Y/N: [Massages Ella's shoulders] Easy, feel better?
Ella: Yeah, I'll be fine
Y/N: Cool
Sky: I do have a boyfriend, but he is not the one. And when I met you, I--
Dave: Don't care.
[airhorn blares]
Chris: I'm sorry, but I am out of popcorn, so we should probably get back to the challenge.
Dave, Sky and Y/N: Seriously?
Chris: Obviously, the helpers aren't going to be very helpful anymore. So instead of being helpers, Ella and Dave will now be hinderers. The island is now back online, and with these controllers, they will be able to throw up obstacles to slow you down or completely crush you.
Dave: Sweet!
Ella: Uh, Very well then.
Sky and Y/N: [gulp]
Chris: Ha ha. That was the good part. Let me tell you the bad part. You have ten minutes to finish this challenge. If neither of you do, Ella and Dave get to split the money.
Y/N: What?
Sky: You can't do that!
Chris: I can. I will. I am. Go!
[airhorn blares]
Dave: [confessional] I've never had a plan for the money, but now I do. I'm gonna light it on fire in front of Sky. Does that seem too bitter?
[rockets firing]
Y/N: Rocket trees?!
[whistle, thud]
Sky: Whoa!
[thudding]
[thunder crack]
Sky: Oh come on!
Y/N: Uh-oh.
Dave: [confessional] This. Is. So much fun!
Ella: [confessional] I don't wanna see Y/N hurt. I hope he's okay.
[lightning strikes]
Sky: [screams]
Y/N: [grunts] Aw...
Sky: Yeah, wooo! Ah! [grunts]
Y/N: [laughs]
Ella: Oh dear
[wind blows]
Sky: I... c-c-c-can see... the f-finish line!
Y/N: I guess T-T-T-Their mostly D-D-Dave are n-n-not making t-t-t-this easy!
Sky: W-W-Would you?
Y/N: Point T-T-T-Taken
Chris: Ooh, they're getting close!
Dave: [growls]
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Two minutes left! Two minutes!
[rumbling]
[thud]
Ella: Y/N !
Sky: [groans] I'm gonna make it!
Y/N: [grunts] Not before me. If I win this thing, maybe Ella and I still have a shot at the million!
Sky: Sorry, that ain't happening!
Dave: Bad news, guys. It's all uphill from here.
[cracking]
You and Sky: Whoa!
Y/N: Aw, crud. [echoing]
Dave: [laughs]
Chris: Twenty seconds left.
Y/N: Well, If I'm not getting the million it's okay if Ella get's it, I mean if she's happy I'm happy.
Sky: It's not fair! No, no, no, no, no!
[cracking]
You and Sky: [scream]
Ella: [gasps] Y/N!
Dave: Oh, yeah!
Chris: Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Game over!
Dave: Aw, yeah!
Ella: Is Y/N okay?
Dave: Who cares? We won!
Chris: Congratulations. Revenge is sweetest-- whoa. What have we here?
Ella: [gasps]
Dave: [echoing] No!
Ella: Y/N! [grunts]
Chef: [screams]
Y/N: I got this for you. I hope we can still be-- [gasps] Did I...
Ella: You won Y/N, You actually won!
Y/N: No! We won! look Ella, are okay with splitting the money, 'cause I--
[You and Ella Kiss passionately with a lot of tongue]
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Chris: That's it for this very, very off season. This is Chris McLean saying if you can't stand the pain, stay off the Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island! Did we forget something?
Y/N: Oh my god, we forgot Dave
Dave: [grunts] At least things can only go up from here.
[bear growls]
Dave: [sighs] Of course.