Chris: Last time on Total Drama: Pahkitew Island... the teams battle in a smash, splash, and 1-2-3 X-dash. Got to meet Scuba Bear. That's right. Scuba Bear. Shawn's fear of zombies really helped him out, but didn't do much for Jasmine. Sugar smacked the Samey out of Amy, and after Team Maskwak won, just to be on the safe side, we put Amy and Samey in the cannon. We're down to nine, which is great, and it's soon to be eight. Who'll go kaput? And who will stay put? Let's find out here on Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!
[Scene Changes]
Max: Hello? You there, sidekick. Enough laying about. Up, up, up. Up!
Scarlett: [gasps]
Max: Fetch food for my face, then I'll teach you more in the ways of evil.
(Confessional: Scarlett)
Scarlett: [confessional] Yeah. He's starting to annoy me.
(Confessional Off)
Dave: [sniffs] [sneezes]
(Confessional: Dave)
Dave [sighs while holding a flower]: A picnic is the most romantic way to eat. If you get past that idea that every bite might have bugs or animal droppings in it. But, I'm not gonna think about that.
(Confessional Off)
Shawn: Didn't you say Sky was hesitant about getting into a relationship?
Dave: No. All she said was, "I like you too, but--"... the "but" could be anything. Maybe it was "I like you too, but even more than you like me."
Shawn: Uh-huh. Sky's competitive, amigo. She's not here for a relationship. She's here for the million bucks! Aren't you?
Dave: I don't care about the money.
Shawn: Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear over your insanity!
Dave: Wouldn't you pay a million dollars for the chance to be with your true love?
Shawn: [squeals] I'll go find Sky for you.
Dave: [sniffs] [sneezes]
(Confessional: Shawn)
Shawn: [sniffle] I'll find Sky, send her to Dave, then go tell Jasmine how I feel.
(Confessional Off)
Sugar: I can smell your brain working, Sky. Come on, girlo a girlo. Tell Big Sugar what the up is.
Sky: I'm just... do you think there's anything between Dave and Ella?
Sugar: Don't be silly! Of course not!
Sky: Heh, yay. Thanks, Sugar.
Sugar: Dave's flirtin' with everybody
Sky: What? What do you talking about?
Sugar: He told me my right eye was even prettier than my left. He's playing us girls like a herd of banjos.
Sky: You don't really think that, do you?
Sugar: He's running a game on you, Sky. Just saying, is all. [confessional] Yeah, that was a can of lies. But the teams are gonna merge soon. It's time to mess with some minds.
Y/N: [Sees Ella] There she is, okay today is the day I tell her, I'll go up to her look her right in the eye and say Ella, I love you, I am not gonna pull a Rodney
Ella: [vocalizing] Y/N!
Y/N: Hi Ella, I was meaning to tell you that I-
Ella: Have you seen Dave?
Y/N: Oh, No
Ella: okay then Shawn! Have you seen Dave?
Shawn: He's in the clearing, ready to bear his soul for... [crying] love!
Ella: [gasps] [confessional] My prince Dave is going to confess his affection for me! I only hope he isn't planning a picnic. The birds who follow me will eat everything.
[bird chirps]
Ella: [confessional] Yes, that includes you, Alan. [real time] [vocalizing]
Dave: Ella?
Ella: Yes, Prince David?
Dave: D-Dave is fine. Um, I kinda set up this romantic picnic, 'cause uh...
Ella: I'm listening.
Dave: It's for someone very special.
Ella: [giggles] Oh, David. I'm so--
Dave: And she's gonna be here any minute, so would you mind, like, going away? Before Sky shows up?
Ella: This is for... Sky? Of course it is! Heh, I'll... just uh... [choking up] I'll, uh, you know... [crying]
Y/N: Ella, hey I
(Ella runs past You crying)
Y/N: huh that was weird, maybe she had to go pee
Dave: [sniffs] [sneezes] Why do I keep smelling this thing?
Shawn: Sky! Clearing! So beautiful. Can't give details, but you gotta--
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Hey teams!
Shawn: Seriously?
Chris: [over loudspeaker] Proceed to the meeting area. It's time for me to laugh at your pain. There'll also be a challenge.
Sky: All right! Let's do this!
Shawn: But... aw, man.
Jasmine: Hey. Something's weird with this island. Those trees were closer yesterday and that mountain wasn't there before!
Chris: And I am a hundred percent sure you are a few koalas short of a swarm.
Jasmine: A swarm of koalas?
Sugar: Cuckoo clock.
Jasmine: No, really, something's not--
Shawn: Jasmine? I need to tell you how I feel.
Jasmine: Me first! I want you to stay away from me. We clear?
Shawn gulps
Jasmine: Good!
(Confessional: Jasmine)
Jasmine: I'm done with zombie boy's mixed messages. First, he's all sweet, then he hits me with a dueling stick, then he brings me flowers? If this is how Canadian boys flirt, I'd hate to see how they propose.
(Confessional Off)
Chris: I'm giving Y/N, Ella and Dave one more minute. Then they're cannon food.
Topher: Hey, while we're waiting, you and me could have a host-off.
Chris: Hey, that's a horrible idea.
Topher: [confessional] Chris is intimidated by my talent and superior good looks. My hair alone is a national treasure. Babies envy my skin. I should totally be hosting this show!
Y/N: Hi Guys, am I late for the challenge?
Shawn: No, not really
Sky: Ella, what happened? Are you okay?
Ella: I'm fine. It's just that my heart is filled with sorrow.
Y/N: y'know Ella, what would make you better would be a hug
Ella: no, no I'm fine but thank you anyway Y/N
Y/N: oh, okay
Sugar: [laughs] [clears throat] That was about something else.
Ella: [sighs] I thought Dave liked me. But it's you who captured his heart.
Y/N: Wait, you liked Dave? not like I care or anything
Sky: He does like me. Yes! Sorry. And I'm sorry about my smile. A-Are you okay? Am I still smiling? I am so sorry.
Dave: Sorry I'm late. I was, uh...
Sky: It's okay. Hi. [confessional] What am I doing? What am I doing? I can't. I just... what am I doing?
Chris: Today's challenge is called Snack Attack.
Y/N: Okay so what exactly do we have to do
Chris: This vending machine only takes gold coins. The first team to get their gold coin into the machine wins. And gets something to eat.
Y/N: okay then
Dave: That sounds easy enough.
Chris: I was hoping one of you would say something like that. Chef? I'm giving the coins to Alfonz and Betty here, who are now going to run away.
Sky: They're getting away!
Y/N: Then let's get the lead out!
Chris: Stop! Nobody move! The monkey's get a headstart, Kinosewak's monkey has a blue necklace. Maskwak's monkey is in the pink one.
[clunk]
Chris: Sugar, please step away from the vending machine.
[squeaking]
(Confessional: Sugar)
Sugar: What? You never licked the glass off a vending machine hoping for a taste of Cheesy Flavored Nacho Taco Puffy Pops? Live a little!
(Confessional Off)
Dave: I have a secret weapon.
Chris: Okay. You can go after your monkeys... right... now!
[airhorn blares]
Y/N: alright let's go
Sugar: I'm coming back for you, with a rock.
Chris: That monkey's not gonna catch itself, Sugar.
Sugar: Ooh, poopknuckles!
Jasmine: Come on! That monkey could be halfway to Brisbane by now!
Topher: I have a few errands to run and then I'll come find you guys.
Jasmine: Errands? What?
Max: I, for one, am done taking orders from you, Chaz-man. Hi-yah!
Jasmine: Nevermind, I'll do it myself!
Max: Ah! Evil will not be slowed by a mere wedgie! Ah! Oof.
Scarlett: Max, do you know why she doesn't fear you?
Max: Because she has a dumb-face disease and is a stinky, bad person.
Scarlett: No. It is because you are not embracing your true evil.
Max: [gasps] How dare you?
Scarlett: True evil does not discriminate. It is evil to all. If Jasmine and Topher won't show you the respect you deserve, teach them a lesson.
Max: Yes! Yes! An evil lesson! I shall show them the meaning of respect! [confessional] Scarlett has had three good ideas as of late. It was brilliant of me to allow her to be my sidekick.
[monkey hoots]
Dave: Sugar, hand me the banana and I'll try and I'll try and trade it for the coin-- aw...
Sugar: [gulps] What? You never said the banana was part of the monkey-tricking plan. Besides, you're better off using the element of surprise!
[splash]
[monkey laughs]
Shawn: Whoa!
Dave: Whoa!
Sky: Wha!
Y/N: Whoa
[monkey gulps]
Sugar, Shawn, You, Dave, and Sky: No!
Chris: [whistling]
Topher: [grunts] Chris! Dude, I am so sorry. I was chasing the monkey and, have you seen him? No? Okay, thanks!
Chris: Note to self: start hating Topher.
Topher: [confessional] I got Chris' cell phone. [chuckles] So easy, it was like taking money from a monkey.
[monkey hoots]
Jasmine: Ha! Losing your jewelry won't help you, fella. 'Cause I am hot on your-- no!
[monkeys hooting]
Max: The trap is set! Once the team has the coin and comes back this way to the vending machine, "ooh, we're gonna win and Max is a loser, ha ha!" Snap! They'll be hoisted up into the air! "Oh, help us, Max! Help us, we're losers now." "Not until you bow to my evil-ocity and make me your leader!
Scarlett: Finally, you'll get the respect you deserve.
Max: "Of course we'll serve you, Max. You're amazing and smart and handsome." "Don't forget charismatic!" "Oh yes, of course, we were just getting to that."
Scarlett: We should go find Jasmine now.
Max: "Just being in your presence makes us--" Wait! I haven't finished acting out what's going to happen!
Sky: Hold her, Dave, while I get the coin.
Dave: Yeah, did Chris say anything about pre-washing the monkeys, or de-lousing them?
Sky: Ah!
[bear growls and gulps]
Sky: Are you kidding me? Spit him out!
[bear growls]
Sugar and Shawn: Ah!
Dave: Ah!
Y/N: We need the get both the monkey and the coin out
Chris: If that's how it ends for Team Maskwak, I don't think I could bear it. [laughs] What? Too hilarious? Wanna see how angry a bear can get? Me too! So, stay tuned to Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!
Topher: Hello? Is this the executive producer of Total Drama? Excellent. I'm Scribbs Hackley calling from a major newspaper you've definitely heard of. Question. How old is your host, Chris McLean? Sixty or sixty-five? Really? Guess those were hard years. Have you ever considered a younger host with amazing hair? Uh, I'll call you back, I gotta run. Ha, the seed of doubt is planted.
Jasmine: Come on, which one of you has it?
Scarlett: Does this mean any one of these monkeys could be our monkey?
Max: Ugh! Who does this belong to? Speak!
[monkeys growl]
[fart]
[splat]
Max: Ugh! They're throwing mud!
Jasmine: That isn't mud.
Max: Well, of course it's mud. What else could it... [groans] [screams] [confessional] [groans]
Y/N: well I'm out of ideas, how 'bout you guys
[bear burps]
Shawn: There's no way to solve this. It's a coin wrapped in a monkey, trapped in a bear!
Sugar: We can get it back. All we need is a bran muffin and some bad cabbage.
Sky: Ew, no! The coin's in there, so let's just bring Chris the bear!
[monkey hoot echoes]
Dave, Shawn, and Sugar: [gasp]
Dave: [confessional] Yes, Sky's plan to bring the bear to Chris is terrible and will get us all killed. But I wanna show her I'd be a good boyfriend, so... [real time] This is an awesome, awesome plan! I am not terrified! Let's do it! [gulps] Here, bear. Here, bear! Here, bear bear bear. Here bear! Ha, good plan, Sky. I think he likes me. Now all we gotta-- oh! Ah! Uh, still a good plan, Sky! This was totally my fault.
[bear licks]
Dave: Oh! And his armpit smells like burning tires!
Scarlett: Our best chance to find which monkey has the coin is by conducting a neuroscientific experiment. I mean, it's no secret that there's hyperactivity in the mirror neurons in primates, right? Ha! [sighs] We play monkey see, monkey do?
Max, Jasmine, and Topher: [agreement]
Scarlett: [confessional] Use. Little. Words.
Dave: Help me! Help!
[bear growls]
Dave: Ah, don't help me! [strained] Don't help me!
[lick]
Dave: Oh!
Sky: We need to figure this out, fast!
Sugar: [confessional] Most people have to choose between beauty, grace, and brains. But I got both! Woohoo! [real time] Oh, dear. If only there was some way one of us could calm this bear down in some sort of musical singy fashion. And save poor Dave.
Sky: Ella! Sing to the bear! Sing to it!
Ella: I... I can't. Chris said that if I sing again, he would send me home.
Sugar: Chris ain't here. And who would tell on a teammate? Not me.
Sky: He'll never know, Ella. Sing!
Y/N: what? if she sing she out of here, we'll find another way
Dave: [groans] Whatever you do, can you hurry it up?
Ella: Oh...
Jasmine: Come on, monkeys! Wave your hands in the air!
[monkeys hooting]
Topher: Cool-guy double point to the camera.
Max: Whoa! Slow down! This is tricky.
Scarlett: Throw a coin in the air!
[monkey hoots]
[ting]
Jasmine: Ha! Gotcha! Thanks, mate! Let's go!
Max: Ready! Hey! Where'd everybody go?
Dave: [straining] Ah... can't... breathe.
Sky: Please! You have to sing, Ella!
Ella: All right! I'll do it! [vocalizes] Time for walkies, Mr. Bear.
Scarlett: Throw a coin in the air!
[monkey hoots]
[ting]
Jasmine: Ha! Gotcha! Thanks, mate! Let's go!
Max: Ready! Hey! Where'd everybody go?
Team Kinosewak: [panting]
Scarlett: [hushed] Max, what did you use to mark the trap?
Max: [hushed] No need to mark the location. I know precisely where it is!
Topher and Jasmine: Whoa!
Max: See? Here is is now.
Scarlett: [confessional] The plan was for Max to be the only one not in the trap, so the team would know he built it and vote him off! Now I need to find a clever way to make him admit it. [sighs] This won't be easy.
Jasmine: Ugh! I bet Sky made this trap!
Max: Ha ha! Wrong, fool! It was I! Me! [evil laughter]
Scarlett: [confessional] Much easier than I thought. Ha.
[Ella]
Walking with a bear
It doesn't matter where
The sun is out
And I haven't got a care
Topher: I've never seen such a happy bear. Not even in cereal commercials.
Jasmine: If we lose this challenge, guess who I'm voting for.
Max: Um, not a mind reader.
Jasmine: Unbelievable! [grunting] How do we get down?
Max: Escape is impossible. This trap was built by the world's most evil mind. There is no esca--
Team Kinosewak: Ah!
Chris: Is this bear in a trance? How did you manage that?
Sugar: Jig's up, we gotta tell him. Ella--
Sky: Uh, hypnotized him. The point is, we have the coin.
Y/N: So does that mean we win
Chris: Right. You say the coin's inside the monkey, which is inside this bear? That's the story you all agreed on?
Ella: It's the truth!
Sugar: Enough's enough! I'm takin' the bear by the horns!
[bear grunts]
Sugar: All right, fuzzy! Chuck up that critter! Oof!
[bear retches]
Dave: Ugh!
Sugar: Oof!
[bear retches]
Sugar: [grunts]
Dave: [groans]
Sugar: Come on, I know it's in there!
[monkey yelps]
[splat]
Shawn, You, Dave, Sky, and Ella: Ew!
Sugar: We've got a winner!
[bear groans]
Sugar: All right, monkey. You're next.
Sky: Ew! Don't do that!
Sugar: Hold still, Betty! You're only making it worse!
Ella: Oh, my! Please stop!
Y/N: eww, I cannot unsee what I've seen
Jasmine: Here comes the coin!
Sky: [gasps] Search that monkey, Sugar!
Dave: Jasmine's almost here!
Shawn: Find that coin!
Sugar: Aha! Ta-da! [confessional] Going down that critter's throat for the nickel was nothing! I had to haul a pigeon out of my dog once. It wasn't pretty, but I wasn't about to let him eat my dinner! [real time] Don't spend it all in one place.
Chris: Ugh! Gotta get it in the vending machine to win, Sugar!
Jasmine: Coming through!
Shawn, Dave, Y/N, Sky, and Ella: No!
Jasmine: [panting]
Sugar: Easy peasy!
[tink]
[whooshing]
Jasmine: [gasps]
Shawn, Dave, You, Sky, and Ella: [cheering]
Chris: Whoa! Game over! Team Maskwak wins the challenge!
[bear slurps, groans, and burps]
Chris: Today's snack food is from our Japanese affiliate. It's Chef Hatchet's Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails!
Y/N: oh from Total Drama World Tour, I love that Episode but The whole Courtney, Gwen and Duncan love triangle was bland and It kinda triggered the fanbase
Chris: Okay, Team Kinosewak, it's time for you to vote to determine who's going in the cannon. And tonight, I need everyone at the elimination ceremony.
[Cut to You and Ella]
Y/N: Hey Ella.
Ella: hmm?
(You hand Ella a flower)
Ella: Y/N thanks, but why did you hand me this
Y/N: Because Well Uh, (Inhales) (Exhales) It's because, I Love you Ella, your just so sweet, kind and beautiful, your such an amazing person and your singing voice is enticing, what I'm trying to say is, Please let me be your Boyfriend
(Ella starts blushing)
Ella: Aww Y/N, I love you too
Y/N: Really? when did you have a crush on me
Ella: Ever since the blimp ride, when our hand first touched, I knew it was true love
Y/N: Alright, then it's settled (Hold both Ella's hands) Ella, I promise when we win Total Drama, I'll take you out on a date, no challenges, no pressure, no cannon of shame or anything, just the most normal, mundane, slice-of-life date you can think of, And It'll be great
Ella: I'd love that
(Ella Caresses your chin and kisses you on your lips, you feel like fireworks went off in your mind, you close your Eyes, hug her and kiss her back, You two then stop kissing)
Y/N: Oh Sweet Baby Corn
Ella: Oh, O-Oh my, I can't believe I just did that.
Y/N: I can't believe I just said that! Sweet Baby Corn. How did I even think that? Come on, sooooo, does that mean were a thing now
Ella: (giggles) I guess so
(Ella walks away and blows a kiss to You)
At the Elimintation Cerimony.
Chris: Team Kinosewak has voted. The following players are safe. Jasmine. Scarlett. Topher. And the person going home tonight is Max.
Max: What? Revenge! You shall regret ever having met me, Chris McLean!
Chris: Little late for that.
Max: The pain I will inflict on you will--
Chris: But... Max is not going home tonight.
Max: Huh. Fear got the better of you.
Chris: It has come to my attention that a certain singer has sung her swan song. Sorry, Ella. I received an anonymous note about it. Actually, it was an "ugh-nonymous" note. But, whatever. You're going home.
Ella: Aw...
Y/N: What?!
Sugar: [confessional] Yeah. So I spelled "ugh-nanymous" wrong. Who cares? Ella is G-A-W-N gone!
[As Sugar comes out of the confessional you go in and grab the tape from the video camera and put in in your jacket]
Ella: So long, everyone. I enjoyed our time together. Don't be sad, Sugar. Be happy.
Sugar: Okay! I'll try! [chuckles]
Ella: At least now, I am free to sing whenever I want. Which is always!
Chris: Huh? Wha-what the? I didn't okay a musical bit!
[Ella]
My time on the show is finished and done
But that's not to say I didn't have fun
I'll do my best not to cry
But now I have to say goodbye
Chris: No! Knock it off!
[Ella]
I came on Total Drama
And survived it just fine
With only minor damage to the base of my spine
I gave it my best try
And now I have to say goodbye
I'll miss you all
From tall to small
And even this little gnome
Max: Hey!
[Ella turning to You]
Alas i will miss you my prince
Leaving You makes my heart wince
And now I'm headed home
I broke the rules and now I'm paying the price
And soon will be launched from this cannon device
I'll do my best not to die
'Cause now I have to say goodbye-e-e-e-e!
[boom]
Y/N: (a tear runs down Your cheek) I'll miss you as well my Princess, and I'll win Total Drama, for you for me, for us, I promise
Chris: And that's enough of that! As tempting as it is to see how many kids I can stuff into the cannon, nine remain. Who's next to show us their cannon-do spirit? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!