Trigger warnings:
Flashbacks
Panic attack
Gore
Descriptions of consuming dead body parts
Suicidal ideation
Yeah it's a lot guys.
:)
————
Tommy's pov:
I stormed away from Wilbur fuming with rage. Why the fuck did I give that bitch my discs I'm so fucking stupid.
We walk in silence for a while. It's so awkward. I can tell ranboo thinks the same thing.
"Tommy? Are you okay?" Ranboo asks me and looks at me nervous.
I sigh.
"Yeah I'm okay Ranboo. It's just- who does that prick think he is? It's not fucking fair how he can just demand things out of me."
"Then why are we listening to him?" Ranboo asks me.
"Because he said he's gonna help me get Aimsey back. That's all that matters to me." I tell ranboo and the silence returns.
We get to my house and I take a deep breath looking at the entrance.
Everything goes blurry as I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey you don't need to go in here if you don't want to. I can get whatever you need." Ranboo says with a smile.
"No Ranboo it's fine." I say and start walking in.
Once we're inside I step on one of shrouds toys.
I pick it up and I feel something overwhelming take over my brain.
Tears start streaming down my face and I fall to the ground.
All I hear is ringing.
My breathing quickens as I start seeing images of shrouds Mutilated body laying in front of me and Dream shoving shrouds eyes into my mouth. He laughed as I screamed out for help.
I hear someone else yelling.
Yelling my name.
"-ommy! Please get up!" Ranboo was shaking me and crying.
I open my eyes once more to see steam coming from Ranboo's face.
"Tommy! Do you need me to go get someone? I can go get help." Ranboo said about to get up.
I grab his arm.
"No it's fine. I'm fine ranboo." I say and he grabs me and I flinch.
He pulls me into a hug.
"Tommy I care about you. If you need to you can relax for a bit and I can go tell people about the plan to see who will help." Ranboo said and I smile.
"Could you? I think that would be good for me." I say and he gets up, putting a hand out to pull me up as well.
"Of course Tommy just relax and get some rest. We'll get Aimsey soon. I promise." Ranboo says as he holds out his pinky.
"Thank you ranboo." I say and stick out mine.
"I'll be back soon Tommy, be safe." Ranboo says and walks out leaving me alone.
———
As I lye on my floor I think of everything that's about to go down.
What if we don't succeed.
What if I can't save them.
What if he kills her.
What if Wilbur was right
I'm to weak.
I'm a weakling
I'd be better off dead.
If I just left and killed myself.
If I made Dream think I was just gone.
I don't deserve to live.
All I do is hurt people around me.
That's why everyone wants me dead.
I even want myself dead.
Everyday
I shoot up as I hear a knock on my door, the thoughts from my head soon fading as I see a pink haired girl looking at me with a worried expression.
Niki
"Tommy?" Niki said walking over to me. "Are you okay? You're crying. I came over as soon as ranboo told me you were alive." Niki said as she kneeled down and wiped the tears from my face.
I stand up and she looks up at me.
"I'm fine Niki." I say and she looks at me with a look I can't quite explain.
"Tommy I know we haven't really talked since, well I took you so close to that nuke."
"Yeah because you tried to kill me." I say and she looks down.
"I know and I wanted to say-" she speaks softly and I hear her sniffle. She looks back up at me with her pale blue eyes filled with tears, eyes that I never ever wanted to see be hurt. "I'm so sorry." She speaks again and starts to sob pulling me into a hug.
"Tommy you were like a brother to me. I hurt you. I took everything out on you. Everything out on the wrong person. You didn't deserve any of the things I did to you. I'm so so sorry." Niki said into my shirt and I feel tears form in my eyes.
"Niki I- no Niki you were hurting. I understand that. You didn't deserve what you went through either. None of us did. And it was all my fault." I said holding on to Niki's head.
Niki fell to the ground and I fell as well.
"You're like a brother to me Tommy. I wasn't right to try and hurt you. None of this was your fault Tommy. Never in a million years." Niki said.
I wipe the tears from her face.
"It's okay niki. I understand. You were hurting. And I wasn't there to help you."
We sat their for about an hour talking about everything.
About Wilbur.
About dream.
About exile.
About how tubbo traded me in for ranboo.
"Tommy you never deserved any of that I'm sorry"
"Really it fine Niki. I just- I just need to get Aimsey back. I need her."
Niki got up and pulled me up with her.
"Then let's get her back." Niki said smiling and she ruffled my hair.
"Your hair is so different." She smiled and I laughed.
"Hey I'm going to go get started on helping tubbo get materials. I made this for you." Niki said handing me a red and white knitted sweater and smiled
It was red and white like his signature baseball shirt.
"I thought you could use a new one. You've had that one since doomsday." Niki said and I pulled her into a hug.
"Thank you" I say and she laughed.
"Of course Tommy." Niki said and walked out.
I walk over to my mirror and put on my new sweater. I look to my dresser which contains my l'manburg uniform.
I take the uniform and snarl taking it over to the fire place and throwing it in.
I'm not a weakling and I'll prove it.
I'm coming for you dream and I'll have your head served on a silver platter.