He was bored.
He was no stranger to the fact that this kind of place reeked of death and suffering rather than joy and good humor, but that should not become an excuse to let patients sink into total boredom.
He did not ask for much, honestly. Just a television, even a book would do. The nurses who passed through his room were entertaining for a few minutes, especially when he saw them lose their minds under his overly passionate gaze.
But, of course, they could not stay at his bedside indefinitely. Their work came before everything else, even before listening to their patients. Even if they were supposed to treat them, no less.
Instead, they would happily spend more time wandering the halls aimlessly than keeping their patients company. Talk was rampant, and often the desperate calls of temporary residents went almost unnoticed by the nurses.
Gossip came first, of course.
Dazai, dressed in his ridiculous hospital gown, dropped once more onto his pillow, which encountered his back with a crumpling of fabric and a creaking of the bed, which was most likely not in its prime of life.
The nurse had just left, having of course taken at least three tubes of blood from him in the process. Not that he cared; he did not feel any pain after all the blood tests. Well, when the nurse was gentle, of course.
With his dubious hobbies, he was used to ending up in the hospital. In more or less good condition, depending on the case. For this time, he had to admit that he had made his mark. Taking a bullet from a sniper was a luxury he had allowed himself only a few times, if at all.
He had been in extreme pain, which reinforced his decisions: this method was not suitable for him. Too painful, and not immediately lethal if the bullet was not in the right place.
Damn Dostoyevsky, thought the brunet while heaving a sigh, the pain of his wound waking up slightly. Things were about to get interesting, but it was not going to be without pain, unfortunately.
Who knows how many people were going to die while he was in the hospital, without being able to do anything, without even a phone to communicate with the outside world, which he had been forbidden to use until further notice?
He did not worry about his colleagues at the agency, because they were tenacious. But he could not help but feel frustrated. Especially knowing that their boss, as well as the Mafia boss, were at death's door. If nothing were done, both would die in just a few hours.
Dazai's gaze was lost in contemplation of the slim sliver of freedom his window offered him, but which forbade him to access it for the time being... Until the doctors allowed him to leave, in other words. Or if he decided to sneak out before, who knows...
The door to his room opened wide, even as these petty thoughts passed through his mind. Almost startling him, as he began to stammer a few inaudible words, sitting up suddenly on his creaking mattress.
"I didn't mean anything forbidden, I promise...!"
When he put down his widened eyes on the front door, the brown-haired noticed that a nurse was standing there, motionless and uncertain, who had certainly heard what he had just said and who was currently questioning his mental health.
But, against all expectations, a big smile slipped on the lips of this newcomer, who gently closed the door behind her, looking at something on the file she had in her hands.
"You are Mr. Dazai Osamu, right?"
He had regained his composure in just a few seconds, and his charming smile as well, as he carefully observed this nurse, from head to toe. She was dressed in the regulation uniform, and her hair was raised in a neat bun, behind her white headdress.
"Indeed, it is me... I haven't seen you yet, despite my numerous visits, are you new? You are very pretty, my word..."
The young woman was now standing right next to his bed, reading the notes left by the previous nurses to be as up to date as possible about her patient.
"I have just been transferred here; I was in another hospital before. When I heard that I was going to be assigned to this department, I was immediately warned that there is a famous Dazai, which they call 'human terror' among them... But just by seeing you like this you look nice to me; my colleagues are a little slanderous, between you and me..."
So, like that, he had a little 'emotional' nickname among the hospital staff? It was true that he came here often, but what justified such a nickname? He was not that horrible, was he?
In a corner of his mind, the incessant flirting with the nurses, as well as the desperate calls to the doctors to allow him to get out of here, which he ignored as best he could. With a big smile on his lips, he feigned ignorance.
"Isn't that so? I don't understand how they could think that this kind of nickname wouldn't hurt me... If you hadn't kept me informed, I would have remained ignorant of this affront for an eternity... Thank you Miss... (he looked down at the badge the young woman was wearing) Shizue! Can I call you that?"
The nurse laughed lightly, without showing any embarrassment or even the beginnings of a blush. Maybe she was used to being flirted with? Or was she really not paying attention?
There were two types of nurses according to him, from what he had learned from his many visits. The first ones were lost in stammering and scarlet cheeks as soon as they met his gaze; the others were hard and unapproachable at first, but as soon as he complimented them, they quickly joined the first category.
This Shizue, on the other hand, remained smiling like when she entered the room, without showing any other feeling than friendliness and kindness. Even the compliments did not manage to destabilize her; her eyes remained as they were, even though it was the best way to read what the person inside was thinking.
"If you want, I don't mind. Everyone calls me by my first name, even my patients," she answered lightly, while taking out the device used to take his blood pressure.
He noticed, as he looked at the watch the young nurse was wearing on her left wrist, that a good hour had passed since her colleague, the one who had taken the blood test, had passed by. This meant that he had been staring at the street for a whole hour?
Boredom, what are you making us do, he thought as he felt the band of cloth tighten around his arm, while the sound of his own heart reached his ears more distinctly than ever.
"You have good blood pressure, Mr. Dazai! I have the result of your blood test, everything is fine except maybe a little vitamin D deficiency... Nothing serious, don't worry!" the pretty nurse quickly resumed, not wishing to end her tirade on a negative note.
She noticed that her patient was simply smiling at her, a smile that did not reach his eyes. The night was slowly falling, and the whole city, plunged in the growing darkness, would not fail to turn on all its lights as soon as possible.
Outside, the sky was almost entirely orange. Shizue watched this spectacle for a moment, before remembering that she had not yet finished her work, far from it.
"I would have liked to stay and talk with you for a few more moments, but unfortunately I must see if there is any work for me elsewhere... I'll be back soon, don't worry!"
Of course, as he had thought earlier, Dazai knew very well that the nurses and doctors had little extra time to spend with their patients, just the bare minimum. He fully understood that they had work to do, but days like today, for example, which were relatively quiet, escaped the rule. But they preferred to hang out in the long corridors or restrooms in their spare time, rather than spend it with the people they were supposed to be caring for.
He regularly saw them wandering the corridors without any real purpose, when the surroundings were quiet like today, so he was perfectly aware of what they were doing.
If they really could not come, why not put a television in the rooms, for example, to prevent their patients from pace up and down like a caged lion?
He had to admit to himself that the boredom that was once again looming on the horizon did not make him happy at all. Thoughts of his comrades fighting outside came back to him as he watched the nurse leave, closing the door softly behind her.
With a heavy heart, he let himself sink back against his pillow, looking up to see the ceiling without even seeing it. Then, closing his eyes, he forced himself to sleep a little, which could certainly help to overcome his boredom.
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He woke up, several hours later, to the sound of his door being slowly opened. Believing he was still asleep, the intruder tiptoed to his bed and remained as still as possible.
Who was it? Nurses and doctors were not in the habit of being so careful about the noises they made when they entered their patients' rooms. And, above all, they would turn on the light, even if it meant blinding the patient who just wanted to be able to sleep peacefully to recover from their misfortunes.
This hospital was a hospital of savages, he had always said so.
A scratching noise was heard close to his ear, while his own eyes slowly opened, enough for him to see something but not enough for the intruder to eventually realize it. His breathing was still calm, but his thoughts were racing.
Was it one of their enemies' henchmen who had found him and had been given the mission to finish him off, for example by slipping poison into his IV?
There was no point in continuing to pretend to sleep now. The person was still there, and if he really wanted to hurt him, he had no way to defend himself. He might as well accept things without resisting.
His silent hand reached the switch just above his head, and the light from his bed then illuminated the entire room, taking the intruder by surprise, who dropped something in his panic, which came to meet the floor with a thud.
Only, instead of finding a man, sent here to kill him, it was a young woman in a nurse's uniform who was there, looking at him with wide eyes.
"Ah...! Were you not sleeping? I woke you up, sorry!"
He quickly recognized the nurse from earlier, with her exaggerated but sincere kindness and her remarkable resistance to his rude flirtations. It was common, though not much if he was honest, for people to drop by his room at night to make sure he was not dead, but never in the dark.
Like a thief, he thought while raising an eyebrow of curiosity. This feeling was reinforced when he looked at what the young woman had just dropped. On the floor, a book, which Shizue hurried to pick up.
"I'm really sorry," she said, ashamed. "I tried to make as little noise as possible though... I wanted to put this on your bedside table, and leave without waking you up... My plan is a fiasco," she finished by scratching her neck with discomfort.
She then handed him the book, which he took in his hands, intrigued. 'Villon's Wife', the title read. He was sure he had heard that name somewhere before, but he could not tell from where.
"When I have nothing to do at home, I like to read," said the young nurse, having regained her smile. "You looked very bored, so I thought I'd lend you one of my books..."
To say that he was surprised was still too meaningless to describe his current state of mind. He was simply speechless, looking at the book resting on his lap. With all the visits he made to this hospital, he had never experienced anything like this before.
Usually, even if he said he was bored aloud, no one took him seriously, and told him to keep himself busy by counting the slats on the ceiling (no kidding) or by sleeping. Bringing him some reading material, just a simple book, had never been the priority of his caregivers.
The feeling that crept up on him made his heart swell, and a big smile played on his lips as he turned his attention back to the nurse.
"That's so sweet of you, Miss Shizue! I don't know how to thank you!"
The young woman laughed lightly, tilting her head to the side as she returned his smile.
"You don't have to, just seeing you happy is enough for me! But if you really want to return the favor, promise me to take a little more care of yourself. I'll be happy to see you again, but the hospital may not be the best place for this."
He stood still for a moment, before a smirk crept across his lips.
"Is this an invitation to a date, eventually? If it is, I can't refuse it."
Shizue laughed again, shaking her head slightly as if to indicate that he was talking nonsense. However, the answer she gave him was quite different from the one he had expected.
"Why not? But I warn you, I never kiss on the first date. Or on the second, for that matter. I'm pretty picky. Is that okay?"
He could not hold back a burst of laughter, which he quickly stifled when he remembered that he was not alone in this hospital. He did not want to be yelled at by the young nurse.
"That's fine. I didn't ask for so much," he answered mischievously, earning an amused look from the young woman.
A sudden sound interrupted them, however, taking them out of their little world created together. It was the beeper of Shizue, which was slipped in the pocket of her skirt, and which she seized while grimacing.
"I escaped the eyes of my superiors to come here, and of course they are looking for me... I'll have to go back, but I'm waiting for your invitation to this date and your opinion on the book, don't forget!"
Then, with a wave of the hand, Shizue disappeared by the door of his room, which fell again in a strangely soothing silence, and not heavy as it had been before this saving conversation.
He thought for a long moment about the young woman's words, as he opened the book to start it directly, curious to see what kind of reading Shizue liked. Him, 'happy'? Even if he was happy to see that someone here was genuinely concerned about a man of his kind, wasn't that just an exaggeration?
Deep down, though, he knew that this feeling he was experiencing was indeed a spark of happiness. A spark that had managed to ignite in his heart even though it was so cold and bruised by the life he had lived.
Maybe, if he could afford to be utopian, this happiness that everyone was talking about was not so unattainable as it had appeared to him in the first place...? That he deserved, like everyone else, a second chance...?
This pretty nurse was damn talented. And full of surprises, too.