entry #02
lee jeno. na jaemin's best friend and also the school's star. he was perfect at everything he did, he was smart, at the top of his class. ranking the top 3 in the whole school. he was sweet and had girls swarming around him like he was some idol. he was amazing in sports and generally stuck around the tennis courts, an aspiring pro athlete waiting to happen. he had the looks to make girls fall to their knees but was humble about it. and he was a pain in the ass.
with every good quality he had, he was a shithead behind close doors. he knew how to pull my strings but he made me realize that jaemin was the least of my problems.
in reality, he hated girls swarming him, he hated it to the core. he'd trade getting hit by a car instead of having them around. he also wanted to drop from studies and pursue tennis full time but couldn't because of his helicopter parents. he wanted everything but to be what he was. there were times that he'd pay me to convince his parents that we were dating so they'd get off his back. i said no because he wasn't my type.
that hurt his pride and made him ignore and mope around me for a week though. it was nice, and i expressed that openly to him. he really humbled his ego which made me laugh. his stupidity was funny. maybe that's why jaemin introduced me to him.
"toktok what the fuck." he whined, laying his head on her desk, she laughed and leaned against her hand. "i'm telling the truth, not having your fangirls around me to get close to you was so much nicer." she teased making him grumble. "jeje, stop being so dramatic." sticking out his tongue, he ran his hand through his black hair.
"oh now you're siding with her jaem? you're siding with carrot top over your handsome boyfriend?" he scoffed, laughing at his joke, she looked over to her seat mate to see his response. he only rolled his eyes and smiled that damned smile.
"i'm sorry baby don't leave me." he cooed leaning forwards towards the boy and watching the other bolt up to sit straight with a slightly grossed out expression. "ew don't touch me with your grimy hands."
"jeje you're gonna need to head back to your seat soon, ms. han doesn't tolerate it when you're not in your seat." she smiled, emphasizing her words as she watched him scurry away to his seat. immediately getting swarmed the moment he left. they never approached if jaemin was with the two of them.
maybe that should've told me something about na jaemin. he had the school wrapped around his fingers like glue. it's honestly shocking knowing how dumb i was to not realize. had he not been around, i wondered if i'd have been bullied or not. i'd seen how the school treats the foreigners there and let me tell you, it's not pretty.
unless you're korean, i'd really not recommend going to this school. you'd become the target of bad demeanor before you could open your mouth.
anyways, i hung around jaemin a lot for the first few weeks of school. if anything, he wouldn't leave me alone. he walked everywhere with me, ate with me, and even took me home and to school. yet, i never dared to exchange numbers with him or even invited him to hang out. it was too iffy for me.
hanging out with a greek god wouldn't be ideal unless you're the good story of hades. zeus being the prime example. he was an absolute asshole. i'd hate to be a girl who got fucked by a swan form zeus. true story by the way, look it up. (in some versions she hatched eggs??)
i'd compare the greek gods to toddlers throwing tantrums. it was like they aged to be big babies who couldn't stand it when someone was better than them.
maybe jaemin was similar to hades. he was cold hearted and a bit much. but he knew how to stand his ground and not overdo it. he was gentle and was a trickster. it was like he was made from the hades story.
hades was a saint compared to some of his brothers and sisters. but he was no better than the rest of them. jaemin was the same way. he was always gonna be hidden underneath the stories he would tell. a liar with a silver tongue. but his good qualities weighed down his bad ones. and that's what made him more than a greek god. he could balance out his sins with his virtue.
"clementine, you should take better notes. how am i suppose to copy if i can't even read it?" tsking, he held her note book in one hand as he picked at his food. she sighed and nibbled at the ends of her chopsticks watching him judge her notes. "to be fair, i wasn't planning on you know, writing notes for someone else like this. it was mostly for.. i don't know.. me?" she stammered with a bored and unamused expression.
snorting, he pulled out a stick note and placed it on her notes. writing a quick note and closing the note book. "what'd you write." finding her money, she glanced at the vending machine from afar and turning back to him. "find out when you read it toktok." he shrugged, pulling out a few bills and handing it to her to get him a drink.
scoffing, she grabbed it and walked over, tracing her hand over the glass. pressing the buttons to the drinks, she fed the machine the bills and grabbed their drinks. holding them by their tops, she walked back and placed his coffee drink in front of him. "you're too kind." he smirked, popping the can open and taking a sip with a satisfied smile. "how can you even drink that bitter shit?" she stared in disgust, happily drinking her marble soda drink. it was just so sweet.
"you didn't eat much today, is something wrong." widening her eyes, she was shocked he even noticed. he seemed so preoccupied with her notes that she thought he wasn't paying attention to her at all. did he really care that much?
waving her hand in panic, she could only smile. "ah it's nothing serious, the school lunch just wasn't too appealing today." it was the honest truth. she really wasn't feeling the food from the school today. no matter how expensive and amazing it could be, if she wasn't feeling it, she wasn't eating it.
sliding her his packed lunch, she stared at it and shook her head. "no i can't take it," she couldn't accept something like this. he had to eat too. shrugging, he continued to persist and push it towards her. "just take it brat." caving, she ate a bit of it and immediately brightened. it was so damn good. who made this?
"i made it, i hope you enjoy." that damned weasel.
one of the best meals i'd ever tasted. jaemin kept offering food everyday from then on. i couldn't help but accept but i also refused. he started bringing two lunches so i couldn't refuse. that damned snake. his lunches were always so damn good. he had me excited for school lunch. some days i'd eat school lunch or i'd pay him back by buying snacks and drinks.
he was so nice for no reason. it was so unfair. why did he have to be so perfect you know? it almost makes me forget about who he really was.
na jaemin was a great cook. it was fact. i learned so much about the boy throughout the school year. but his great cooking skills always amazed me. he hated strawberry flavouring and loved peaches. he also loved spicy and sweet things. that meant that his lunches always had something spicy or sweet.
everything na jaemin hated, i started to hate it too. everything na jaemin loved, i started to love it too. maybe thats why i liked his meals. because he liked it too.
"jamiee," whispering to him, she read the note and couldn't help but feel like crying. reaching to hug him, he leaned away in disgust and rolled his eyes. pushing her face away with his hand, he couldn't help but slightly smile. "you're so cute." she froze from her own words. not realizing how it could be taken the wrong way.
"i mean, i mean, the note. the note— it's cute not you— well you are but that's not.. ugh forget it." she flushed, stuttering and stammering through her words before giving up even trying to clarify it any further. he laughed, it made her heart flutter and jump around. it was so god damn pretty that she could get lost in the noise of it. "so you admit that i'm cute? you like me or something?"
would it be wrong to say yes? gulping, she awkwardly smiled and looked down at the note. how could he be so sweet and annoying at the same time. he was like a weasel or a bird chirping in the morning.
god it made her feel like a mess even trying to figure out why she stuck around with him.
hearing things fall and drop, she flinched making him notice and stand up. the cafeteria was staring by this point. seeing someone pushed up against a table, he groaned and sat back down. yet she kept staring. it was the boy from the first day with another person. what was his name? she never got around to asking. "sit down clementine. donghyucks no good meddling with. he fucking hates foreigners." he warned but she just couldn't. watching him lunch and attack the hopeless boy, she couldn't help but cringe.
"renjun you fucking brat, why can't you just stay in line with the rest of them? maybe it'll teach you to shut up." he spat, the entire room could hear it echo. "i can't let your dumbass try to rule the school and shit on foreigners because you don't like them." the other boy, renjun apparently, yelled back. they seemed close to each other. knowing each other on name basis despite their differences and beliefs.
"don't act like you know me brat." punching the boy again, the sound of it made her want to throw up. this was just allowed? "i know you better than anyone here. you're just too bitchy to care." pushing the boy off, he walked off with a limp. the other, donghyuck stood there with clench fist and a peeved expression. turning around to continue to yell. "i hope you break a leg on your way home." he turned back and walked off. anger fumes were practically emitting off of him.
"you should've sat down." his expression was grim as he pulled her back down. "i wanted to know what was happening between the two of them." she shivered, practically hearing the skin being punched and hit.
"what even was their problem?"
"they used to date and were a couple for a very very long time. but something happened which led to a messy break up which lead to haechan boy being in shambles and renjun hating the others guts. why do you think haechan hates foreigners? especially chinese ones." he sighed, running a hand through his hair softly.
gasping, she couldn't help but feel astonished. "was it really that bad?" he shrugged like he always did.
their break up was the underlying ending because of a cheater and a liar. renjun broke haechan by cheating on him with their close friend. it destroyed haechan and in the process, caused his depressive episodes and drinking habits that caused renjun to break. their massive argument caused renjun's scar and haechan's anger and guilt. the two of them were a walking hazard sign.
had they just been less stupid teenagers, would they have worked out. i remember seeing renjun try to get back together with he other only to get punched in the face and yelled at for his stupid idea.
it was funny then, but talking about it now makes you realize the severity of the situation. they were toxic and abusive. haechan was young but got into substances, and renjun tried to gaslight his way through every conversation. this school had enough red flags to balance out the good, and that's really saying something.
"thank you for your notes, i'll be more considerate when i copy them. i'll treat you to a meal some day."
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entry #02 completed
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posted; 6/26/22