【act iii. broken clocks】
(n.) a kiss on the hand.
♡♡♡
This must be what sleep paralysis feels like. All the feelings, none of the movement. I can feel the bullet wound in my shoulder seeping blood as I lay limp on the hard ground. I hear frantic yelling and cheering. I feel my stilts being removed, then I'm lifted onto the warm back of someone tall. The man. Safety. I can't force myself to say something, or even open my eyes.
Content with where I was, I found myself drifting in and out of consciousness. At one point, hands were all over me, gripping my hands, touching my forehead. I heard people talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying. The man embraced someone who was crying. I could feel someone's arms on my back as both of them shook with sobs.
There was more running, more yelling, and more hands for what I assumed were the next few hours, maybe days. The ground shook underneath me. Curses slipped from tired lips.
My wounds ached when they were eventually cleaned and bandaged, but I couldn't feel my body thrash or struggle. My face and hands were wiped with a damp cloth. I was just so tired.
My world really went dark when I was set in a soft bed. Not a bunk, but on a thick mattress with soft sheets. My body finally relaxed, and I found myself slipping into dreamland.
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
"Isa..."
"Hm?" Isabella looks up at me.
"What do you want to do when you grow up?" I ask. She sits back, wrapping her hands around her knees. We're folding clothes in the laundry room. It's raining outside. Cool, blue light illuminates Isa's pale face. The soft racket of the shaking washing machine occupies the room of our exchange.
"I want to travel the world." She decides with a grin. I urge her to keep talking.
"I want to hold monkeys and parrots like the ones we see in the books. I'll swim, skydive, shop...I'll get lots of fancy clothes and jewelry." I can imagine her already.
"Where are you going to get all the money to do that?"
"Don't worry. I'll be rich." She waves away my doubt. I scoff.
"What about you? What do you want to do in the future?" She asks.
"I want to be with you." I don't miss a beat.
"That's too broad! What else?" She giggles. I think harder. Just earlier today, Isabella was twirling around, swinging her skirt with her arms, humming the tune of some song mother had played on her radio. I had watched from my spot under our tree. Leslie was lax next to me, trying to replicate the chords with his instrument.
"I want to dance with you." I decide. She laughs again and stands, holding her hand out to me. I grab it, and she helps me up.
"We can do that right now, if you'd like." She whispers mischievously. I raise an eyebrow.
"But what about mother's radio? She puts it away after lunch." She smiles brightly.
"I know where it's hidden!" She says in a sing-song voice. Without giving me time to object, Isabella runs out of the room, returning five minutes later with mother's beat up yellow radio. Isabella pushes it into my hands. I look at her quizzically.
"I, uh...don't know how the dial works." She explains bashfully. I roll my eyes and start messing with it, turning the volume to where only we can hear it. She leans in close to my face, watching as I turn the dial. After a few minutes, I found one good channel. Italian music sang from the box. I put it on the window sill.
Lo penso sempre a te, soltanto a te~
Not knowing how to dance, I let Isabella take the lead. Though, it seems she's only ever danced alone. Eventually, we just sway together. Her hands hug my back. Mine rest on her waist. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I do the same to her.
E so che la città, vuota mi sembrerà. Se non torni tu~
"I wonder what's she's saying." Isa mutters.
Come puoi tu vivere ancor solo senza me. Non senti tu che non finì il nostro amor~
"Maybe that's what I'll do in the future...I'll learn Italian...I'll teach you the words to this song." I reply, equally as soft. Isabella hums contently.
Torna da me, amor~
"I'd like that." She whispers, almost inaudible. From across the house, mother calls her name. Isa jolts.
"Whoops...looks like she might have noticed her radio missing..." She says sheepishly. I chuckle. Feeling confident, I take her hand. I softly kiss the back of her palm.
"Go ahead then, darling. I'll finish up the work here." I wink. She pulls away and rubs the back of her hand gently. The tips of her ears are flushed. She makes her way out of the room with a small smile.
E non sarà più vuota la città~
I flip the radio off. She'll eventually notice she left it in here. Gathering the folded clothes into a basket, I push the hamper on top of the washer. My stomach flutters. Just thinking of her poorly hidden smile makes my face warm. It was my eleventh birthday, and it was perfect.
Thus began the nights of falling asleep on Italian textbooks in the library.
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
My eyes struggle to open. I'm hot. Really hot. I try to move my body next, but find that it's trapped. I sit up and pull myself closer to my pillow, gritting my teeth when my aching shoulder protests. I rip an oxygen mask off my face. The room is dark, but the shapes of human figures are unmistakable.
Every person in our group, save for the adults, are crowded around my medical bed. No wonder its so warm. My stomach growls. God, I'm starving. I crawl out of the bed carefully, stepping around piles of children with caution. I'm not sure how long I was out, but my muscles are painfully tight.
I let out a breath of relief once I'm out of the room. Gently shutting the door behind me, I drag myself to the kitchen of the shelter, where there's hopefully something good to eat. I don't flip any lights on.
Once I'm there, I swing open the fridge. My eyes scan the shelves. Nothing good. I shut the door and start searching through the cabinets instead. As I'm reaching my hand into one, I grasp a can of something. I pull it out and read the label. Chicken noodle soup...good enough. I toss it onto the counter and turn on the stove. With a little more searching, I'm able to locate a saucepan.
While the soup is heating, I run my right arm over my left. It's sore. I move my shoulder and immediately wince. Ouch. I use my good hand to grab a random bottle of water that's sitting just inches away on the counter, and take a long sip.
"(y/n)?" A voice sounds. I choke. I spit out the rest of the water into the sink. My eyes look to the direction of the voice.
"Jemima?" I gasp. She starts to cry, and runs toward me. I fall to the ground and catch her in a hug. Her body shakes as she cries.
"I...I missed you!" She sobs. I hold her head tightly and kiss her temple. I'm starting to cry too.
"I know, sweet girl. I missed you too." When did I get so sappy? Planting another kiss on her head, I stand and lift her onto my hip with my good arm. I rock the two of us softly, trying to ignoring my sore body.
"Don't cry, baby. I'm ok, I'm right here..." I attempt to soothe Jemima while fighting back my own tears.
"Mom...don't go..." She cries. Words fail me. I pat her back and keep my eyes on my soup. It starts to boil, and I move it into a bowl the best I can with a little girl still on my hip.
"Do you want some?" I ask softly. She nods. I grab two spoons from a drawer, and sit her down on top of the dining table. I stand, and we eat together. It's gone in just a few minutes. My eyes dart over to the analog clock on the wall. 7:46. I'm surprised nobody's up yet.
Coincidentally, I start to hear yelling from the direction of the room.
"The crazies are awake. What do you say we make them breakfast, hm?" I ask. Jemima giggles. I prefer the sound much more than her cries. She jumps off the table, and we walk hand in hand to the kitchen.
Dozens of feet come running down the hall. I don't have the chance to step foot into the kitchen before I'm knocked to the ground by a head of ginger hair. Soon after, a ravenette follows. Both are crying, one hiding it, the other accepting it. Once again, I start crying too.
I hold the pair close to my chest, tangling my fingers in their hair. Like with Jemima, I plant several firm kisses on the crowns of their heads. There aren't words to describe the utter relief I'm feeling. Warm tears soak my clothing.
"I love you two. So, so much." I mutter in between them. Ray squeezes me tighter. More kids surround us, and the two separate from me. Emma pulls away first, and is laughing through tears, Ray moves away a little more adamantly. Still, he's smiling. Kids I know and don't know are hugging me and thanking me.
"Jesus, how long was I out?" I say in a faux exasperated tone with a smile, finally standing up. Yvette, Dominic, Jemima, and all of the other littles are crowded at my feet, basically hanging off of me.
"Nearly six weeks. Emma woke up four weeks in, and the rest of them other than Sandy and Paula have been fine since their first week." The man replies. I grimace.
"How did everyone get back here with their injuries?" I question, already dreading the answer. I try to hide my worry.
"Don't worry about that now." The tall brunette, Lucas, puts a hand on my shoulder. I raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.
"We'll talk about this later." I mouth. He laughs nervously and nods.
"Come look! We've found new games since you've been gone!" Yvette pulls on my arm. The children around her cheer. Lucas joins the man by the kitchen bar. Some of the kids start running off, but most of them are pushing or pulling me towards whatever it is they've been waiting to show me.
Ray and Emma are talking with a group of older kids. I recognize Gilda and Don from our original group of escapees. Most of them are from Goldy Pond. Among them, I recognize Violet, Pepe, and Nigel. There's five others I don't know. I should really learn everyone's names.
Emma catches me looking and waves to me with a smile. I feel a smile creep onto my face as well. The things I'd do to keep her smiling like that...
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
Ten games of Candy Land does something to an adult, but three games of Monopoly is where I draw the line. Sure, I was winning, but poor Mark was starting to tear up over how badly he was in debt. Thoma and Lanni rubbed their heads simultaneously.
In the background of it all, a jacked-up old radio played something classical. Apparently one of the Goldy Pond kids had found it a few weeks ago, and it's been a treasure since then. From what I understand, it's unanimously adored by everyone in the shelter. I haven't heard music on the radio since my youth.
"I don't get it! We should've won by now!" Lanni exclaims. Thoma nods, equally as lost.
"We've been practicing for weeks!" The blond adds.
"Don't lose sleep over it. I've got a few years of experience." I try to downplay my win again. The pair groans. Dropping my cards, I move Chris off of my lap and next to Nat. The sleepy boy rubs his tired eyes. The redhead looks at me funny.
"Leaving already?" Nat asks incredulously.
"Already? Kid, we've been at this for hours. I'm developing a migraine." I moan, rubbing my sore temple. He mutters a complaint about old people. I flick his head.
"I'm going to check on the rest of the kids. Make sure Chris, Alicia, and everybody younger than them are napping by noon." He nods, then gets back to the game. They're starting over. I'm leaving, and Mark is stopping for now, which leaves Nat, Anna, Thoma, Lanni, Gillian, and Theo still playing. The last two were Goldy Pond kids. I made a note to interact more with the new kids.
I knew Emma was hanging out in one of the bedrooms. It didn't take me long to find the right one. Running my hands along the cold wall, I lean against the outside of her door. Emma's talking. Ray is reading. She's rambling about something insignificant. I sink to the floor with a stupid smile on my face, just to listen for a few minutes.
"Thank you." A voice sounds. The smile on my face flees. Have my reflexes gotten worse or something? I look up. It's the man.
"What?" I question. He sighs.
"Don't make me say it again. Thanks for everything you've done so far, for protecting them...and I'm sorry. You know...for shooting you." His voice audibly quiets as he keeps talking. My expression softens. I stand up.
"What's your name?" I ask faintly.
"Yuugo." He replies in the same volume. I take a few hesitant steps forward, then pull him into an awkward hug.
"Thanks to you too, Yuugo...and don't worry about shooting me. It's not like I almost died or anything." I replied. I changed my tone to sound more lighthearted at the end.
"Huh?" He remarked, obviously lost.
"I mean, just a few inches lower and that seriously would've been it for me-"
"Shut the hell up."
"What is it with my shoulders? Are you lacking the creativity to try and shoot me anywhere else?" He huffs in response to my teasing. I grin.
"Let's go find your friend. We've got some things to discuss" I nudge his shoulder and start walking down the hallway, peeking into open rooms. He follows suit.
"Don't remind me. He's been dreading it all morning."
"Deadass?"
"Deadass. I think you scare him." He affirms. I snort.
We found Lucas on his own in the dining room. He sat to the left of the table's head, spinning what looked to be a coin repetitively. I clicked my tongue to get his attention before sitting down at the end of the table. Yuugo sits across from him, to my right.
"Before we begin to discuss, I should introduce myself. My name is (y/n)." I start, extending a hand.
"My name is Lucas. It's nice to finally meet you." He smiles wearily, taking my hand and shaking it firmly. I'm finally able to observe his appearance.
He's handsome. Brown, almost maroon hair, frames his face in thick portions. He's tanned, with kind eyes, contrasting the intimidating scar decorating the right side of his face. Claw marks. The same that probably caused...my eyes move downward, to his concealed right side, and to the cane resting on his seat. How impressive. I hadn't noticed at all. The man was missing most of, If not all, of his right arm.
"It's not too late to run, Lucas." Yuugo whispers loudly.
"Stop talking." I slap the back of his head.
"Welcome to adult solidarity, Lucas." Yuugo drawls, rubbing the red handprint on his neck. Lucas laughs breathily.
"Now, care to explain how the stab victim woke up before I did?" I redirect the conversation. My lips twitch downwards. Lucas clears his throat, averting his eyes.
"You hit your head pretty hard when you and Lewis fell. Your physical exhaustion and bullet wound didn't exactly speed your recovery. We also didn't know your blood type and couldn't risk transfusion. Yuugo could only take one of you...we didn't think you would make it, but he had to take Emma." He replies shamefacedly. My expression is hard. I take one of his fidgeting hands and look him in the eye.
"Don't ever doubt your intuition, especially not now. They, the kids, will always come first, hear me? Always. Be ready to put me last every time. I'm not mad. I just wish I wasn't burdening. You had a long list of shit to deal with...I'm sorry I was on it." I state. Lucas looks confused. I can feel Yuugo fuming beside me.
"Are you being fucking serious right now? You killed the Lewis. Without you, we wouldn't even be here." He vocalized angrily.
"You would've been fine without me. You would've shot and killed him if I hadn't gotten in the way."
"That's not-" Yuugo starts.
"Hey! Emma wanted to talk to all of us." He's interrupted by Anna, peeking her head through the doorway. Her smile drops when she sees Yuugo and I glaring eachother down, and Lucas watching in concern.
"Everything ok?" She asks. I slam my hand onto the table and get out of my seat, scooting the seat back loudly.
"Just peachy. Give us a minute and we'll be there." She nods and ducks out of the doorway, walking away speedily. It's silent between us for a beat.
"Why am I the one that always gets knocked out?" I groan.
"Because you're always the one who jumps head first into danger." Yuugo sighs.
"Because you want to protect them." Lucas says at the same time. I blow through my nose as if trying to blow off steam.
"Let's go see Emma." We walk silently down the hall.
The three of us enter through some set of doors I had not paid much mind to previously. Emma and the rest of the kids are already spread across the room, though we're pretty packed in. I manage to squeeze in next to Violet. Yvette leans against my legs, Yuugo and Lucas settle close to me.
Once we're all still, Emma nods in approval, and pulls out her magic pen. Unlike the typical single box, dozens of holographic boxes spout out of the pen. Maps, graphs, memos, and paragraphs upon paragraphs of writing shine blue in the cramped room. Emma begins to explain the content of the pen at once, only sparking more discussion as the rest of us are left to marvel. The information isn't new to Lucas, it's obvious in the way his expression hardly waivers, but Yuugo and I are floored. I hide my surprise well, but can't conceal my interest.
"He really did exist." I surprise myself with the words that slip out.
"Did Mr. Minerva die?"
"There's a path..."
"An elevator in a pond?"
"So, there was a way out of Grace Field, right where we grew up!" This was perhaps the most jarring revelation of the day. A clever move from the higher-ups, creating an escape where they knew we'd want to flee. Those fuckers are sick in the head, dooming their own kind like this. Is what I think first, but that leads me to wonder if I would make a decision any different. A few humans for the safety of most of humanity...it was worth it for them. If I wasn't the one suffering, would I even care? Then, the worst thought plagued my mind. After all this time...do they even know we're here?
"This is amazing! The king...supporters...plantation blueprints...Lambda project...the seven walls...and-" Don starts. Gilda interrupts him, her finger raised level with one of the glowing, blue boxes.
"Here...there's even a way to contact our "allies". Do you think we'll be able to cross over to the human world if we contact them?"
"So we contact our allies, and then...after we execute our plan to rescue Phil and everyone else at Grace field, we'd be able to go from Grace Field to the real world? If we wanted to, we could enter the human world right now?" Don questions.
"We can, but it would be dangerous." Ray begins to speak. He appears to be as well-informed as Emma.
"That Ratri guy. Mr. Minerva's clan...in return for peace in the human world, they've been feeding cattle children to demons for generations." Ray spits. My breath hitches. The knife in my pocket, the knife that saved my life, was starting to feel awfully heavy.
"Ratri was the "traitor" who killed Mr. Minerva. That means we're somehow interfering with their influence." I connect the dots out loud in a hushed voice. If I appear distraught, nobody takes notice. Ray nods in confirmation.
"That entire clan will never tolerate our freedom. We're somehow interfering with their influence." Gilda adds. Ray agrees, then continues to explain.
"There's no way to guarantee our safety. If we leave the situation as it is and flee to the human world, a plantation and its "overseer" fall under the jurisdiction of the Ratri clan. We don't even know if the human world is aware of us in the first place. Even if we run away, them accepting us is questionable. Breaking the promise and crossing over...it's likely the demons would follow us."
"And in the worst case scenario, we would start a war between the two worlds." Lucas says. There were a few gasps In the room.
"Please, no..." The discomfort in the room is audible and visible. Faces contort into unease, distress, even.
"We can't secretly flee with such a large number of people...taking away such a valuable source of food is enough to start a war. I hate war. What we're aiming for here is the liberation of Grace Field. Running away without anyone noticing would be impossible." Even Emma seems perturbed by our current situation. Personally, I believe not much has changed. Everything they've done since their initial escape seemed impossible at some point. Sure, it was only getting harder, but they were only getting stronger.
"I consider everyone I met in Goldy Pond as family. I want to escape without losing a single person, but escaping is not enough. I want everyone to live with a smile." And, of course, there's Emma's typical idealism.
"Also...I've been thinking since I got to Goldy Pond. In this world, there are so many children with the same circumstances as us, and loads more that we don't know about. I just can't allow myself to leave them alone. It's not just Gracefield. Mister and everyone from Glory Bell, Oliver and everyone from Grand Valley, everyone from Good-Will Ridge too." Faces start to perk as Emma's resolve strengthens. She really is the leader.
"The mass production farms Sonju told us about, and the new lambda plantation that Adam came from, everything! I want to get rid of it all, to create a world where children aren't eaten. After we create a world where we can't be chased, I want to escape from the demon world." Everyone's faces portrayed their thoughts. A world where they can't be chased. Determined minds started to think.
"Yeah, and to that end, I want to search for and discover the "Seven Walls", then forge a new promise with それ." Children around the room mutter among themselves, they have all heard of the Walls before. I have as well. When Sonju and Mujika first took me in, I heard them whisper to each other at night about それ (The One), and the Seven Walls. I never asked about it, but I think they caught me snooping one night, and halted all discussion surrounding those subjects in the years to come.
"それ stands on top of all demons at the Seven Walls. If we make a new promise with それ, we can make a safe world to escape to?" Lanni asks.
"But Mr. Minerva never reached the seven walls, and he's never met それ before either. What I'm trying to say is...will it be possible? Don't demons want to eat us humans? And what "promise" are we going to make? By what means?" Nat
"He left us a hint, look here."
"There was another promise like that..."
"What do you mean?"
"This goes far back. It's not going to be easy, or simple in any way, but it's still the option I want to choose. What does everyone think? Now you know the risks...will you come along?"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"OF COURSE WE'RE COMING!"
"LET'S FIND THE SEVEN WALLS!"
"Good, in that case, the plan has five stages: contact our allies, find the Seven Walls, meet それ, forge a new promise, and after returning to pick up Phil and everyone, cross over to the human world," he looks to Emma, "and you're planning to do this in no more than two years?"
"Yes, indeed!"
"First though, we should decide if we want to contact our allies."
"Hold up. Yuugo, Lucas, (y/n), what do you want to do? How should we approach this?" Emma directly acknowledges our coterie of adults. Yuugo answers first, surprisingly, in good spirits too.
"Sounds great, right? A world without cattle children. Let's give it a try." A resounding chorus of agreement bubbles in the crowd of Goldy Pond kids, who have been rather attentive listeners for a good chunk of the conversation. Emma looks puzzled by the man's reaction.
"Don't you want to escape to the human world first?"
"That'd be tough...and it would put a life or two at risk, right?" More enthusiastic nods follow. Beside me, Lucas speaks up, commanding the room's attention with his gentle voice.
"I'd follow Emma anywhere. That's what everyone is thinking." He hums. Then, dozens of eyes fall on me.
"This is a good start. With tiresome effort and high hopes...this crazy plan of yours may actually work." I try to keep a neutral tone, but even I can't keep the corners of my lips from quirking up as smiles sprout on faces around the room.
Sometime in the excitement, Yuugo mentioned food. A chain reaction occurred, and then everyone was hungry. With the promise of a celebratory dinner, Yuugo ushered the kids away. A quick glance was enough to solidify my plans for the night. You're helping. I hummed and waved him away. He disappeared down the hall alongside the bustling wave of children. Beside me, Lucas places a hand on my shoulder. We're the only ones left in the room.
I'm clad only in only leggings and a long sleeve shirt, both made with an incredibly light fabric. They're perfect undergarments under my heavier clothing and cloak. I can feel the leather of his glove on the exposed skin of my neck. It's not foreign. It takes only a few seconds to connect the dots.
"I've felt that exact glove before. Is Yuugo wearing the other?" Lucas flushes lightly, running his hands over the tough leather of the glove.
"Yes. I guess he still is." He laughs it off. I smile, intertwining my fingers together, imagining that the other hand is hers. I fantasize looking back on the days I missed her, and brushing them aside, because they wouldn't matter any longer. If I had her, what pain could the past still cause me? I'd like a miracle too, please.
I don't know who I'm asking anymore. Is there a higher power for people like me?
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
The dining table is long, but almost not long enough. Mismatched chairs and benches are pulled up to compensate for the few seats that made up the original set. The littles are already sitting down, thanks to Gillian and Nigel.
There's overwhelming foot traffic between the table and the kitchen as the older kids carry food from the kitchen to the table. I'm in the kitchen with the other adults. I was in charge of preparing the salad and bread. About twenty minutes ago I had finished my last batch of sweet rolls. Lucas and Yuugo were nearly done cooking the main dish.
"Do you like fish?" Lucas asks, he's leaning against the counter, sipping on a red wine Yuugo had been saving for years.
"Sure, but can those really be considered fish? They're on land, so maybe they're closer to bugs?" I reply. I swirl the red liquid in my glass. I haven't had human alcohol before, it's nothing like what the demons drink. I prefer the taste, but I can't imagine getting drunk off of it. It loosens my body, at least, I feel much more relaxed.
"That's disgusting. Don't ever compare our food to bugs again." Yuugo groans. He's preparing the last tray of food to bring out. We'll all be going out with it, finally joining the kids at the table.
"You haven't touched your wine, Yuugo. Not a fan? Or don't tell me you're a lightweight?" Lucas teases. My lips quirk up at the corners. Yuugo sends us both a dirty look.
"I'm not a fuckin' lightweight, I just get a little vulgar, which ain't preferable around the kids."
"Sure, we'll see." I chuckle. I down the rest of my drink, and turn to Lucas.
"Coming?" I ask. He stares into his glass, lightly tapping the delicate exterior.
"I'll join you all in a minute." Lucas hums. Yuugo shoves the platter of food into my arms.
"We will join ya in a minute." Yuugo mutters. He walks over to Lucas. I decide it's none of my business and continue on my way into the dining hall, where everyone in the house is happily passing around food and chattering away. Unsurprisingly, most of the kids had already finished their first plate of food. Many were reaching for seconds and thirds, clearing their plates as quickly as they stocked them.
It was our first family dinner since the children of Goldy Pond joined our circus, and it was exactly as rowdy as I expected. As soon as I sat, I felt the pleading stares of several children. Jemima, Alicia, and the rest of the kids under ten were begging with their eyes, nearly vibrating with energy.
"Fine. I suppose today can be an exception." I sigh. They throw their chairs back and cheer, racing to the living area. The radio was typically off-limits unless an adult was nearby. As old and delicate as it was, I didn't want to risk it getting broken, especially because of how much the kids enjoyed it. But they had been waiting a while for me to walk in, and I figure what the harm in granting them a little wiggle room is.
Once they were gone, I immediately started chatting with the older kids from Goldy Pond, specifically Oliver and Zack. Both were a little shorter than me. Oliver had messy white hair with a red streak running down the left, crimson eyes, and a playful smile. Zack was much more serious. He was dark-haired with a lanky stature, a scar ran across his nose. It was immediately obvious to me that Oliver was the strong/willed leader of the Golds Pond kids, and Zack was his faithful companion. My respect for them only increased as we engaged in conversation, both boys describing the experience of living in Goldy Pond.
"Most of this I'm sure you've heard in broad terms, but you're the real mystery. During your sleep, Yuugo forbid anybody from sharing your background, so all we've heard is bits and pieces from innocent slip-ups. I'm incredibly intrigued by you, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to hear about your past." Oliver states. He's being respectful, but he's obviously very curious, rightfully so.
I rest my glass on the table, we're all long past eating, and the younger kids are all in the living area with the radio. It's all of the teenagers now, as Yuugo and Lucas aren't nearby. I open my mouth to speak, but am interrupted when a crash sounds, and crying follows. I shove my chair back and race to the living area.
Scattered across the carpet, bits and pieces of the radio are everywhere. Alicia is in the middle of it, Thoma and Yvette are trying to pull her away from the glass bits. Yuugo and Lucas come running in after, panicked looks on their faces. I pick up Alicia, who's sobbing. Glass shards stick out of her skin like splinters, oozing blood slowly. I hand her off to Gillian and Nigel. She appears to be the only one who's injured.
"You two, go get Anna and help her get the glass out of her legs." I point at Oliver and Emma next, simply because they're near each other.
"You two can clean the carpet. Make sure there's no debris stuck anywhere." The pair nods. Emma leaves to grab what I assume are cleaning supplies.
"Everyone else, go help clean the kitchen. Sonya and Zack are in charge. Violet, take Adam to his room." The room clears in just a minute. I lead Lucas and Yuugo to my bunk room. I start to prepare a bag.
"What the hell are you doing? And why are you moving so fast?" Yuugo questions, following my frantic packing with his eyes.
"I'm going to get a new radio."
"What? Are you insane? That was a human edition, it runs off the farm channels. There's no way you're finding another one of those."
"Try me."
"Listen, (y/n), you're being a little drastic. It's just a radio, the kids can live without it." Lucas reasons. I purse my lips and shake my head.
"No, no, see that's the thing. It's not just a radio, those kids spend hours listening to music on that thing. They love it."
"And they can learn to live without it."
"But they shouldn't for fucks sake. It's a god damn machine. If all it takes is a short trip to find another, what's the harm? They deserve some sort of normalcy in this fucking shit show."
"Jesus, (y/n), could you relax for a minute?" Yuugo barks. I toss my small bag onto my back, fastening my cloak over it. I grab my stilts from by the door.
"You both worry too much. I'll be back in a week." I drawl, slipping on my mask.
"...Please be safe. Don't do anything drastic." Lucas sighs as I'm about to leave the room. I stop in place. Yuugo is equally as surprised.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously? You're just going to let her leave?" Yuugo asks angrily.
"She's leaving no matter what, and as long as she's true to her word, I suppose I'm fine with it. But you better be serious. One week." Lucas' tone is serious and steady. He points a finger at me.
"Just one. If you can't find it, you're coming home."
"Deal." I stroll out of the room. Lucas breaks off from the group, rubbing his temple in exasperation. Yuugo follows me to the shelter's exit.
"You're serious about this? Why?" He asks under his breath. We've reached the ladder that leads upward into the outside world. I slump to the floor, starting to fasten my stilts. He slumps down next to me.
"Listen, I know you're pretty determined to die young, but these kids need you...we all do. Seeing you do all that reckless shit isn't easy, especially when ya' refuse to fucking acknowledge how important you are to us." Lucas speaks quietly, tone completely different from his earlier aggression. I feel my face relax. I don't say anything right after, and Yuugo takes it as defiance. He moves to get up, I put a hand on his shoulder.
"Do you...do you still think about how different it would be if your family was alive?" I ask hesitantly. He doesn't hesitate to answer.
"Sure, now more than ever. But I can't complain, I'm lucky enough to have Lucas, not to mention all the youngsters...and you." He responds. I shut my eyes, furrowing my brows, willing myself not to tear up. All I've been doing these past few days is cry. I've had skin torn off me like paper from a notebook, completely dry-eyed. I can't piece together how the ache in my heart is more painful than the bullet wound in my shoulder.
"And hey, you can't miss what you ain't had." He chuckles breathily. Well, I can. I lean onto his shoulder, savoring his presence before I enter a week-long solitude.
"Thank you, Yuugo. You're very important to me too." I mutter honestly.
"You better not fucking die now that you've said that." I laugh. It's truly a language only we can understand.
"Scared I'll haunt your pathetic ass?" I drone with a smile. He huffs and shoves me off, standing up. He offers a hand.
"That would be a real nightmare." I take his hand.
"Tell the kids I'll be back in a week, that I love them, and that Ray is in charge while I'm gone." I'll be home before you all know it.
♡♡♡
【Vault】
✘ Lucas and Yuugo have a relationship the reader won't be able to decipher, as their history is widely unknown, A lot of their private interactions are a mystery to her, but she doesn't mind much.
✘ Reader is near fluent in Italian, blundering on a conversational level, because obviously, nobody around her is a fluent speaker.
✘ Yuugo has, at this point in the book, shot the reader twice. Same shoulder, different places. The first shot hit the supraspinatus muscle, just above her collarbone. The second hit lower, on her pectoralis major, puncturing a few inches under her cephalic vein. Technically not her shoulder muscle, but the bullet punctured her at an angle, injuring the trapezius primarily on her left side. The pain is in the same place, but is much more severe, which is another reason why she was out for so long.
♡♡♡
WC: 6229
This chapter is a hot fucking mess oops.
Now would be a good time to mention I don't have a beta reader (if you can't already tell). I figured I should provide something for you all at the very least, though, so I hope this somewhat satisfies y'all. Big things are coming and I'm so so excited!!
love ya,
rem
» 6.20.22