Two times for the past.
"Because I loved you, too."
━━
an: yes, double updates, you all.
Because it's still Jimin's day where
I live hehe.
Also, there's a surprise in the end
of this chapter lol. So be prepared.
✰✰✰
Hoseok grabs his wallet and phone and makes his way towards the main door. His phone rings when he stands in front of the shoe rack to pick a suitable footwear for the day.
Looking at the caller, Hoseok smiles lightly before picking up the call. "Yes, Taehyung–ah?"
"Hyung, I'm running a bit late. There's a traffic jam here. I thought I should let you know that it'll take some time for me to arrive."
"Is that so? Well, okay. I can wait."
"Okay, then. See you soon, hyung."
He sighs, settling on the sofa present opposite to the shoe rack. Well, I could pass my time by playing some games.. So that's what he does. He clicks on the icon of the game which he hasn't played in ages. "Wow, it's been so long since I last played this. Let's see if I could still play it as easily as I used to."
A few minutes pass by and he could hear the door being unlocked. "Oh, Jimin. You're back so early," Hoseok greets without sparing the intruding male a glance, since he couldn't afford doing that in the middle of the game. "I thought you'd come home later so— oh shit, shit, shit—" He interrupts himself because of the said game. "No~~~ my health is decreasing. Where are they shooting me from? Oh, my God— fuckfuckfuck— I'm dead."
Frowning a little, Hoseok finally looks up, only to find Jeongguk staring down at him with a grin. "You're such a bad player."
Hoseok's heart hammers against his ribcage because of the unexpected intruder, but his frown remains intact, albeit his pout from before is no where to be seen now. "Hey. What are you doing here?"
Jeongguk brings his hand in front of him, which, Hoseok now realised, he had been hiding all this time. "I'm here to spend time with you," he urges Hoseok to take the flowers.
"What are these flowers for, Jeongguk?"
"Well, maybe you don't remember this but today is the day we first made love with each other."
Hoseok pales at that. His heartbeat accelerating, the memories of that day flood in his brain and cause an unwanted disaster. He may not remember the date, but he remembers everything that happened on that day.
And as fucked up as it may sound, some times, he could still feel Jeongguk's touches from that day, lingering on his skin slightly, sometimes even when he makes love with Jimin.
But he would never admit that, no.
The younger male gently takes away Hoseok's phone from his hand and sits beside him. He puts the bouquet on Hoseok's lap and takes his face in his palms. Gently, he caresses the skin of Hoseok's cheekbones before placing a kiss on his lips.
And, maybe it's because he was reminded of what he once felt for Jeongguk, Hoseok does not move away. Maybe because, at this moment, what mattered the most for Hoseok for once, were his own feelings; maybe it's because of that Hoseok kisses him back, taking Jeongguk by pleasant surprise.
In an instant, Jeongguk melts. His heart palpitating faster than it ever had before.
Continuing the kiss, he groans and pushes Hoseok further into the sofa, and almost imposes his entire weight on him. The bouquet of flowers long fallen on the floor, the duo make out for a few minutes.
To Jeongguk, it was a pure bliss.
Because for the first time in three years, Hoseok isn't resisting him. For the first time in three years, Hoseok is kissing him back with equal passion. With want. Because for the first time in three years, it looks like Hoseok wants him just as much as he wants Hoseok.
When they pull away, Hoseok takes a long breath and looks down, suddenly feeling both flustered and guilty and shitty. He truly does not deserve all the love he receives from both Jimin and Jeongguk.
Jeongguk holds his face and warmly smiles at him, "I love you."
Hoseok softly pushes the younger male away away, "We shouldn't be doing this." He whispers, "We shouldn't.."
"Hoseok," Jeongguk pronounces, "I love you. You love me, too, don't you?"
The said male avoids his soft yet demanding eyes which were asking for an answer. Jeongguk doesn't pressurize hum further, instead, he nuzzles his head on Hoseok's neck, inhaling his scent as though he's trying to imprint the smell in his brain.
Hoseok shudders. "I'm sorry..." he says, "Sorry that you're in pain."
"You don't have any reason to be sorry at all!"
"Considering the fact that I was the one who initiated all of this despite knowing what you feel for me back in that day.. yeah, I do have a pretty big reason to be sorry about. Not only towards you, but also towards Jimin."
"I don't care." Jeongguk inhales again, now sitting up right, "I never did, about you being with Jimin. Well, honestly, it does bother me a lot, but I try not to think about it much. Because I know you're happy with him."
"But you're aware that I could be very selfish." He adds. "And in your case, I'm stupidly selfish and stubborn because I come running to you at every chance I get, despite knowing what's in your heart. It's not your fault, it's mine. So, don't beat yourself to it, okay?"
Hoseok holds his face in his palms, his eyes watering. "No," he chokes a little. "It's my fault. I deceived both you and him. I don't deserve any of your both love." He takes a few deep breathes in, remembering what he had done. "I— I feel awful when I recall all those things. I used you, Jeongguk-ah. I'm such a bad person. I used you despite knowing you're in love with me. Despite knowing I'm going to get married to Jimin soon."
"Hyung, listen to me," Jeongguk attempts to talk, but he couldn't, because Hoseok speaks soon after.
"And I hid that fact from you." His voice wavers, "So, yes. I'm such a bad person, Jeongguk-ah. And no amount of your reassurances would change my mind."
Jeongguk looks like he wants to ask something, but is contemplating whether or not to ask. But deciding it's best to let his doubts out rather than keeping them all in, he speaks: "Can I ask you something, hyung?"
Hoseok nods, sighing deeply.
"Why did you do it?" He questions softly. "When you knew that you wouldn't be able to be mine in the future, and that I was in love with you— why did you do it?"
Now, he wouldn't lie. Jeongguk feels pretty bad when he thinks about how Hoseok had used him as a one-,night stand a few days before hus wedding and completely ditched him as soon as the night was gone. He feels void, but when he thinks again, and relives the memory of Hoseok going so pliant and needy underneath him, all of his saddened thoughts get washed away.
During these years, these two have never opened up like this ever before. Mostly because Hoseok is too quick to push Jeongguk away from him, or they just couldn't spend some quality time together.
Now, though, Jeongguk is both surprised and antsy. Because they're talking about their past so openly, which is so unusual. And he wishes Hoseok stays honest when he replies to his question.
He sees Hoseok gulping after which he meets their eyes. Out of all the things Jeongguk had in his mind, never in his wildest dreams had he ever expected the following words to leave Hoseok's pretty lips:
"Because I loved you, too."
✰✰✰
Sooo, how was the surprise?
Were you expecting Hoseok to
say that?
I have a feeling you all are going to
hate Hoseok [from this book] for that
XD or maybe not, but either way,
lemme know!!
13102022; 09:45 pm
word count: 1365
( not proofread. )