This is for FionaJohn
HONEST
It was good. But there were some problems...
fix the minor grammar/spelling problems. For instance, capitalise Mark in one of the sentences from the first chapter. Also, some of the sentences weren't grammatically correct. And don't introduce your character with by the way my name's... and I go to...
You have to mix this information into the story.
But these are small fixes so you should be fine. Good Luck.
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Love you Bloodsuckers,
~Anna the Vampire😈