Chapter 10
After their heart to heart, the weirdness dissipates completely. In fact, it's like they're closer than before. Her life for once is pretty much exactly how she wants it to be. Of course, peace can never last for long.
"Miss Collins, Miss Hudson stay behind please."
Emery's brow furrows in confusion and she shoots a look over to Charlotte who appears nonchalant. Mr. Grant's words are polite but that tone has a rough edge of displeasure.
She can't imagine what she's done now. Things had even cooled off between her and Charlotte since Charlotte kept her distance and her limited her snide remarks to her cronies.
The rest of the class filters out, Diana hangs back to whisper with Charlotte before even she leaves.
Mr. Grant places down the board eraser and stands tall, arms crossed across his chest. If that wasn't enough, he has a frown on his features making Emery even more nervous. Her classmate doesn't appear to share her concerns though. Hopping on the front desk, Charlotte crosses her legs and examines her nails, just a picture of indifference. Emery can't fake that but she does lean against a similar desk and wait for Mr. Grant to get to the heart of the matter.
"What's this about Sir? I have commitments to get to, like pageant training."
Em almost snorts. Of course, Charlotte's in beauty pageants, she certainly fits the stereotype of pageant girls. Emery almost feels sorry for the other genuinely nice girls in those competitions, Charlotte is not a gracious contestant.
"And how would the pageant feel about you failing my class?"
"What? Sir! Why would you fail me?"
That's also Emery's question. Charlotte gets good grades. Really good grades. Why would she fail? Wait, does that mean she's also going to fail? But why?
Mr. Grant doesn't answer right away. Instead, he hands them some papers stappled together.
"Recognise these ladies?"
Emery glances down to read it. It's the essay he told them to do but when she scans the first few lines, it's good but not one she's read before. What the hell is going on?
"Uh yeah," mutters Charlotte, "this is my homework. I handed this in ages ago."
Huh?
"Emery?" asks Mr. Grant.
"No," stumbles out Emery, "Of course I don't recognise this. Sir, who's essay is this?"
"Swap," commands Mr. Grant.
Hesitantly Emery holds out the papers she has in her hand to Charlotte who does the same. Scanning the new document she realises from the title alone, it's the exact same. Why has he given them the same essay? What is going on?
"These are the same," points out Charlotte.
"I know," exhales Mr. Grant, "except for the names on them."
Em hadn't noticed the name in the header. Upon instruction she reads it only to be even more confused. That's her name on there. What the hell? After the initial shock, the ice-cold horror of realisation starts to migrate through her veins.
Faintly she hears Charlotte wave her paper and state, "yeah. My name on my paper. So what?"
"Emery?" calls Mr. Grant.
She gazes up at him, lips numb but enough to mutter, "this isn't mine. I didn't...I didn't write this."
His expression morphs into a frown of disappointment.
"There's a zero-tolerance policy on plagiarism in this school. It doesn't matter if you both worked on it together or helped on another-"
Charlotte interrupts with a snort of laughter, "uh no offense Sir, but Emery and I would not do that. We're not even friends. Why would we help each other?"
They wouldn't. Charlotte would probably shave her head and pierce her entire body than help Emery and Emery pretty much returns the sentiments.
"In that case, one of you copied the other."
"Obviously not me," expresses Charlotte, all while Emery is frozen in horror, "I handed my paper in first remember? Why I would I cheat off her?"
Mr. Grant doesn't answer Charlotte's questions but it makes sense. Even Emery can see the logic in her questions and statements. She agrees.
"I didn't write this," repeats Emery.
How the hell did her name get on this? This wasn't what she handed in.
"See? She admits it! Can I please go now, Sir?"
"Yes Miss Hudson," grumbles Mr. Grant not sounding too pleased, "you may leave."
Again Emery hears the sound of the other girl, bouncing away, her teacher sighing and focusing his attention to her but like she's experiencing it from far away.
She doesn't even feel like she's in the room anymore. All she can concentrate on is that this is it. She's going to fail her English class. The school really is strictly against plagiarism. There's no way around it. Mr. Grant as nice as he is usually will have to be harsh because Charlotte will no doubt make sure people hear about Emery 'copying' off her. There's no way to make up the credits if she fails this late in the year. She won't get to go to her first-choice college. She might not even get into any college.
The panic starts to build at those thoughts rushing through her. Her chest beginning to tighten as her breath shortens. Oh God. What the hell is happening? Her fingers start to get all tingly and why is it so hard to breathe? The blood pounds at her eardrums but Emery can't concentrate. There's just too many thoughts rushing around, all scary, horrible thoughts that just grow bigger and bigger. She really can't seem to catch her breath. It's not even like she's running a race. This is different. This is like a taut elastic band that just keeps constricting where the more she resists the tighter it gets.
Shit. Shit! What is happening? Is she going to die? It feels like she's going to die. A wave of dizziness hits her as she grows light-headed. Oh well...at least that's pushed away the horrible thoughts some.
"Emery!"
Her name. Someone is calling her name.
Large hands encompass her shoulders in a firm grip, enough to ground her back into her own body. She hears her own pants which are still strangely short and sharp.
"Emery, it's okay. Listen to my voice, nothing else. Just listen."
Her gaze is still unfocused, she can't concentrate but that voice. Low, strong, masculine. She latches onto it.
"Good. Good girl. Just concentrate on my words. Imagine a rose bud. The warm sun shining down on it. The green sepals start to separate revealing the closed rose petals. The sepals curl under until you can clearly see the tightly wound petals. Take an inhale breath, imagine you're filling your lungs with the crisp spring air. Now, as you exhale slowly you see a petal unfurl. Continue doing this, just in your own time....Every inhale allows you to smell the scent of the rose and grass it's surrounded by. Every exhale allows the petals to uncurl and blossom for you."
Confused and unsure, she does as the voice says. She pictures the rose in a bush on the edges of a lawn. The red flower blossoming like a time lapsed video in her mind.
"Okay, good. Now, feel for your fingers. Come back into your body gently. There's no rush."
Oh. She can feel her fingers. They aren't tingling anymore. Her chest is a little painful and aching but there's not the same tightness. She can actually take a breath. Her gaze is again fuzzy for a moment until she blinks it away, so the sight of the classroom returns. Emery's dumb brain is the last to recognise what the hell is going on. The moment of peace and emptiness in her mind is suddenly filled with embarrassment.
Mr. Grant's dark eyes full of concern are focused on her as heat floods her cheeks. Oh God. She is so lame. A nutjob. What the hell did she do? She's made a small mess into a giant one. Dumb. She's so fucking dumb. Thank God, no one was here to see it. Except her English teacher of course.
Before she can say anything, he beats her to it.
"Feeling better? Like yourself?"
She gives a short nod which Mr. Grant returns after a second. His hands fall away from her shoulders. It's not that Emery wishes he was still touching her, but she misses the touch of someone. Everything in her still feels so weirdly raw that the human contact makes it a little better. Still, she sucks it up. She's been enough of a baby for one day.
"What happened Emery? With the paper that is."
"Sir-" she starts but before she can stumble through her words he cuts in.
"Calmly. Just tell me calmly and we'll deal with it okay? We'll sort something out. I know this isn't like you."
"Sir, it's not me. I swear this was not the paper I turned it. I don't know how my name got on this or how it replaced the actual paper I wrote."
Conflicting emotions reign over his features until it settles on one of uncertainty. He doesn't believe her. It's all too far-fetched, she knows, even though it's the truth.
"It's the truth Sir. I really did," she tells him as a thought suddenly strikes her, "I printed it at the library using my USB. I have the actual paper I did on USB."
She fumbles in her bag for the little thumb-drive. Pulling it out of her pencil case and stretching it out towards her teacher. One she desperately hopes can be convinced of her innocence.
"Emery I don't think-"
"Please Sir," she begs.
"Okay," he sighs taking the electronic device from her and moving to his laptop.
Emery follows him to his desk, watching as he plugs it in and opens the files on there.
"There. See," she points out, "that's the document. I edited it last the day before I printed it."
Mr. Grant does see that. He opens up the file and the title of the assignment is clearly displayed. He scans the first paragraph, noting with perplexity and relief that this paper certainly isn't the same as Miss Hudson's or even close to it.
"See Sir?" she says nervously.
He looks up at her, the tension so clear on her young face.
"This is...promising evidence," he says slowly straightening as he decides what he should do, "okay, here's what I can do. Print this one out for me and I'll grade it but it will be classed as a late submission. You can make up your grade with an extra credit assignment that I'll assign later this week. Deal?"
Emery blinks at him in pleasant surprise. The urge to throw her arms around him in a tight hug and squeal is one she barely supresses. Of course this is additional work she hadn't anticipated but thank God, he's failing her and even better she has a chance to maintain her GPA.
"Yes! Yes! Oh my God, thank you!" she cries.
Mr. Grant simply laughs and hands her back the thumb drive.
Em hurries to put it away and beams at her teacher, a smile that he returns. Walking her to the open door of his classroom, a hand on her upper back he calls her back by her name. Emery turns, wondering whether he's decided to add an extra condition to his offer.
"These kind of...er, emotional responses they can be scary," he advices quietly, "you were very brave. Go home, try not to dwell on it too much, take a hot bath. Okay?"
Her smile fades for a second before all his words penetrate and she gives him a softer version of it. Yeah, Mr. Grant may have annoyed her before for giving her grief about Dane but clearly it's only because he cares. This just confirms it. If she'd had a big brother, she likes to imagine they might have been someone like him.
"Okay. Thanks Sir."
*********
Dane can't believe he didn't tell Emery about his past sooner. She just deals with it in stride and his fears that she'd see him as less than or incapable are completely squashed. She still acts normal with him and that puts him at ease. He's thankful nothing between them has changed. In fact, Em acts so normal that he has to try suppressing his smile when she rants about Charlotte. It's been a few days but Dane can see the grudge is still being harboured. Of course, Emery has no actual proof that it had been Charlotte who'd swapped her paper, or copied it or something (Dane's not entirely sure what happened) which he thinks is what annoys her the most. She doesn't know what exactly happened.
Dane just kisses her head and mutters at her to let it go. She shoots him a glare at that suggestion, so he backs off. Okay...maybe he should have stuck to his dad's advice about not offering a pissed-off woman any constructive feedback.
"We should sort our studying schedule," she states changing the subject abruptly.
He's all for it except he's not sure what this 'studying schedule' that she's talking about is.
"Uh what? What is that?"
Her eyes go wide as she turns to him.
"Dane! Oh my god. Okay let me get my coloured pens," she exasperates with delight.
For the next half an hour she draws up a colour coordinated schedule for his finals with very little input from him. He doesn't mind though. She's just so cute being all excited in her element, his little nerd. His parents are definitely going to love her.
*********
Just as he thinks is new normal is awesome, life reminds him that just as easily as it can be sweet it can also be a bitch. He sits down with lunch with his group when a weird hush falls over them. Now they're not the type to always need to be talking especially when there's not the girls around like today but this isn't that.
"What's up?" he asks in confusion.
A few of the boys look to him and then each other, confirming to him that there is definitely something going on.
"Yo!" he calls again, "seriously what is up?"
"Dude..." drawls Markus, who is surprisingly keeping his mouth tight when he usually can't.
"Yeah?"
"Have you seen the pictures?" he asks.
Dane looks around to them and shakes his head. This is the first he's hearing about pictures.
"Like nudes?" Dane clarifies.
There's usually always some drama going on because it is high school and sure, he's heard even at this high school of people's risky pictures or rumours of said pictures being circulated around, though he's never paid much attention to that. His group of friends too, they might mention it in the passing but they wouldn't go weirdly tight-lipped over it.
Unless...unless it's ones to do with him.
Except he's never sent any photos like that to any of girls. The only thing he's done remotely close to that are the videos filmed with...well, her. There's no way though that those could have got leaked. No way.
"No," says Jake, "no one's naked but they're...they're kinda telling."
"What? Of me?" Dane asks.
"Not of you."
Phew. Dane can breathe a little in relief. Then who? It can't be Emery. She's never sent him any dirty photos and he bets she's never even taken any like that. Never mind posted it somewhere online or sent it to anyone.
"Emery?!" rhetorically snorts Dane.
Unfortunately that question is not met with chuckles or smiles and shakes of heads as he would have thought. Instead it's more awkward silence.
"No way!" huffs Dane, "they're fake. They've got to be fake. This is Em! Come on, it's not her. She doesn't do that shit."
"I don't know dude," uncomfortably mutters Markus, "doesn't seem fake."
"Yeah, I'll send them to you," Allen offers.
"I mean we could be wrong but they do look bad," sighs Jake, "I'm sorry Dane. She got us all fooled. I don't think she's the 'good girl' you think she is."
"Yeah," murmurs Markus in support, "it's always the quiet ones."
Dane's too stunned to speak. He opens up the pictures Allen sends him. There's only 3 but that's more than enough. His gut twists, his heart clenches and his mind is scrambled. What the fuck has she been doing?
**********
Emery shoves the last bit of sandwich in her mouth while rushing down the hall to Mr. Grant's classroom. She'd skipped lunch to go to the library and finish the last of her extra credit assignment so she can print it and get it to him. Hopefully, it'll be enough to bring her grade back up. Thank God, he was understanding and offered this. She doubts others in the class will take it up but still, it's only fair he makes it an open offer for everyone.
Knocking on the door, she waits with nervousness. She did want to see Dane just before the end of lunch but that doesn't seem like it'll happen now. There's still about 10 minutes before the bell rings so enough time to get to class but not enough to seek him out.
Mr. Grant opens the door in surprise causing Em to jump back a little.
"Oh Emery. What can I do for you?"
Emery holds out her work.
"My extra credit work. I just printed it out and it's correct. This one is definitely all mine," she hastily explains.
He takes it with a half-smile, which objectively Em has to note does make him look pretty handsome. It also puts her a little more at ease especially with the knowledge that this isn't going to turn into some lecture.
"I'm glad to hear it," grins Mr. Grant.
"Okay. Um...I'll see you tomorrow then-"
"Sure," he cuts in before she can rush off, "but Emery?"
Em spins back around to face him and gives him a look to carry on.
His voice is softer and lower as he tells her, "mistakes and incidences like that can happen. It's been rectified. No harm, no foul. Let it go, okay? You got plenty else on your plate. No need to keep stewing on this."
Emery's speechless for a moment, amazed that he knew exactly how it's been for her. She has been overthinking it and dedicating way too much time and energy on it. She'd been so afraid of what he must now think of her, of how stupid she'd been to let it happen and her absolutely embarrassing reaction. But hearing Mr. Grant's words. Well, it's clear he's not holding it against her. Thankfully. Everything's okay.
"Thanks Mr. Grant," she sincerely says, "seriously. You're like my favourite teacher ever."
Mr. Grant just gives a little laugh at that and shakes his head.
"Sure thing. Now, get going. I'll see you in class."
With a small finger wave to him as he retreats back into his classroom, Emery turns to leave when she spots Dane opposite by some lockers waiting for her. Her delighted surprise turns to confusion as she skips over to him.
"Hey," she chirps, "don't you have History? What are you doing here?"
His expression is oddly stoic as he retorts, "what are you doing here?"
Em is taken back by the hostility underlining his tone of voice. What happened now? They've barely seen each other since the morning. What on earth could he be angry about between that then and now?
"Um...I came to hand in my extra credit to Mr. Grant. I told you this."
"What were you guys talking about? You were smiling a lot."
What the hell? She knows Dane has a problem with Mr. Grant but seriously, she can't smile at her teacher now?
"Yeah...because he was being nice to me," slowly explains Emery before outright asking, "what's going on, baby?"
"You tell me," he snaps back.
She doesn't like that tone at all. Not one bit. But she's not the type of person when confronted with an argument like that to start retorting and yelling. She's more the type to retreat back or walk away. Confrontation is not her thing at all even though she understands that sometimes you do have to do it and stand up for yourself.
"What do you mean?" she questions softly, "Dane you're upsetting me. Why are you talking to me like that? What's going on? Just tell me."
He clenches his jaw, looking away from her and inhaling sharply before exhaling also loud and turning back to her. Slipping out his phone he shows her the pictures. Em takes it and he watches carefully as the confusion on her features morphs into realisation and then fear. As he looks up at him in shame, it's like his worst thoughts are being validated.
"I told you I didn't cheat on that paper. I honestly didn't. Even though it looked like I did-"
"What does that have to do with the photos, Em?"
"I just..I got overwhelmed, Dane. I didn't know how to tell you. It was just that one time. And Mr. Grant was so nice and understanding-"
"Stop," he croaks, trying to push away the boulder that rests on his chest.
So, the pictures weren't lying. It is exactly how it looks. She-they-...He took advantage of her. The bastard. He was probably just waiting for that scenario to happen and it fell so conveniently into his lap. Why did she not tell him though? He would have understood. He of all people would have understood.
"Dane, please, I'm not crazy. I'm not unstable. It was just that once-"
"I said stop, Emery. I can't...I can't talk to you right now. I have to-I can't believe you. I can't believe you'd cheat on me."
Em goes to respond and reassure him when his words penetrate. Cheat on him? What?
" 'Cheat on you'?" she repeats, "I didn't cheat on you. What you talking about?"
Now, he's confused.
"But you just admitted..."
"I was admitting to having a panic attack not cheating on you. God! Who did you think I was...Mr. Grant?! You think I cheated on you with my English teacher?!"
Dane can only throw his hands up in frustration. He is not insane for thinking that. It's pretty obvious that her and Mr. Grant are close. It's not such an unreasonable conclusion to come to. Especially with the whole school also thinking the same thing. And the guy is strangely buddy-buddy with her.
Before they can delve more into it, the bell rings and they're surrounded by students.
"Whatever. I've got to get to class. We'll talk later," she mutters, stomping away without waiting for his agreement.
Fucking right they'll talk about it later, decides Dane.
*****************
She tries her best just to get on with her classes, keeping her head down but it's pretty hard when she can feel people's stares and almost hear their whispers. Em wants to scream that it's not true. Whatever they think she's done, she hasn't. Only, if she says anything about it that's just going to keep the rumours going and possibly grow bigger. To let it die down she knows she just has to ignore it, by next week something else will probably be snared by the gossip net.
Unfortunately, when the announcement comes over the speaker system telling her to go to the Principal's office, Em groans quietly, knowing that this is probably going to drag on for another week at the very least.
She spends the next hour getting lectured from the Principal who attempts to coax her into admitting some sort of illicit affair, which did not happen. While she on the other hand kept insisting that nothing unprofessional has happened between Mr. Grant and her. Part of that also apparently meant letting the man go through her texts, most of which are between her and Dane or her mom anyway. There's absolutely no one shady texting her including Mr. Grant. Finally, finally half an hour after the final bell has rang, the man agrees that there's not enough evidence to validate the rumours.
With a groan to herself Emery makes her way to her locker in the empty hallway. She fully intends on texting Dane that they'll talk later when she's able to decompress from this hell day when he leans against the locker beside hers.
"Where were you?" he asks then accuses, "I thought you wanted to talk."
Em hefts her bag over her shoulder and slams the locker door. She's been talking for the last hour, she's all talked out. She doesn't want to talk anymore for the rest of the day.
"I did but I'm so tired Dane. I just spent way too much time in the Principal's office trying to convince him there's no truth to the rumours."
"There's no truth to them?" he repeats.
The implication is strong enough for her to get annoyed by it. Seriously? Now he's questioning her? He's her boyfriend. One she basically spent all her time after school with if she wasn't home alone, with her mom or at work that is. Just where does he think she found the creativity and time to go have some sordid affair with her teacher? Not to mention the fact that she admitted her sexual inexperience to him. But now he and the school think she's some seductive vixen who's been fucking her English teacher? Really?
"Do you think there's truth to them?" she snaps back turning to face him outside the school's front doors.
"I don't know Em. That's why I'm asking you."
"'You don't know?'" she incredulously replies, "have we not been dating all this time? Do you not know me at all?"
He pauses for a second to digest that which under the hot, irritation is a stab of pain to Emery's gut. Why does he have to think that over? It shouldn't be a difficult question.
"It's not exactly that...-"
"Oh my God. I can't believe you," she gasps, "you know what? It's finals week next week Dane. I don't need this right now. I can't deal with those rumours and have you not believe me."
Sure it's only been a short amount of time but her and Dane have talked about some heavy stuff. They've basically told each other everything. So how is he questioning her right now? He's meant to be on her side dammit.
"So what are you saying? You're dumping me?!"
The shock in his tone is justified. As if anyone would break up with Dane, especially someone like her. Her heart is torn. She can't process what she sees as his betrayal but at the same time, she...she loves him. The realisation knocks her off her own feet though even in her confused state she knows better than to blurt that out right now. Besides, if it gets out that she dumped him that's only going to add fuel to the fire of scandals involving her which is already burning bright right now.
"No. No I don't want to break up but," she hesitates, "maybe we should cool it down for a little while. You're stressed, I'm stressed and we moved this relationship so fast that maybe it'll be good for us to have a...break."
" 'A break'?"
"Yeah. A break."
They stare at each other for a moment to digest those words. Her heart thunders. She doesn't want it. She really doesn't but what choice does she have? It has to be like this. At least for a little while so that they can finish their exams and school stop being a stressor. By then as well, hopefully the rumours will have died down and she can think rationally again.
"For how long?" he asks finally.
Emery shrugs, "um, maybe until after end of next week?"
"Okay," he half-heartedly agrees, "and...and does a break mean we can't kiss anymore?"
Reluctantly Emery nods, "it's probably better we weren't physically you know. Or spend so much time after school together."
"So no more rides?"
"No more rides," she sighs thinking with dread at taking the bus again.
Since he doesn't seem to have anymore questions after that Emery gives him a small, awkward smile and mutters that she'll see him again tomorrow before leaving.
Before she can completely leave though he grabs her wrist, forcing her to turn back to him. Her mouth opens to tell him to just let her go, that there's nothing more to say only he cuts in before she can.
"This break? It's not an invite to start anything new, is it?"
"Huh?"
"I mean...this isn't a breakup it's a break so you won't find someone else right?"
Her jaw drops at his question. Again, seriously? That's what he's concerned with? But of course, if she can go around having affairs then sure, why not think that she'll just move onto her next victim despite being 'on break'?
"No Dane. I'm not looking to do anything but pass my tests and finish school."
He nods, "okay."
With that he reluctantly releases her wrist.