Chapter 25
Burn
"Walang nangyari, Fri," I insisted irritatedly.
Wala naman talagang nangyari sa akin, maliban na lang sa panaginip ko na malabo. For me that dream is irrelevant, and blur to me. Habang tumatagal ay hindi ko na talaga maalala kung anong nangyari sa loob ng panaginip na iyon. Ang tanging naalala ko lang ay gumising akong balisa. My instinct tells me that it's a negative dream, but yeah...opposite of reality. That's just a nightmare dulot ng pag-aalala ko kay Deo.
"Try to look at yourself in the mirror and see for yourself, Noella—"
"Fri," Satari halted him. "Maybe we are overthinking it. Let's just... keep praying that it's not what we think it is."
Frian sighed and gave me a bothered look. "Look out for yourself, Noella."
"Maybe, we should head back inside," Satari tried to ease the tension.
"My eyes are not dull, Satari." I clarified with her too.
Tumango lang si Satari at tinanggap ang sinabi ko. She grabbed my pulse and hugged me. "Pasensya na..."
Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa kanilang dalawa na parang big-deal sa kanila emosyon ng mata ko. My eyes are dull because the truth is... I'm so tired inside that I just want to sleep and forget everything that happened.
I can finally relax now, knowing that Deo is wide awake.
Umuna akong bumalik sa loob at dumiretso kay Deo na ngayon ay nakabangon at walang pasabing yinakap siya. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko pero naramdaman ko rin ang paghagod niya sa likod ko na para bang inaalo rin ako.
"What's wrong?" he whispered.
Umiling lang ako.
I can hear his heartbeat. I can't hear mine as if it stopped from beating. What's going on?
Sa katunayan kanina ko pa ito napapansin.
He held my hand and kissed the back of my palms. Parang bigla akong napaso kaya ko binawi ang kamay ko.
Ano iyon?
Natigilan rin siya pero ngumiti rin siya kalaunan.
Someone tapped my shoulder, and when I looked back, si Doc Morris iyon. "You need to sit down, Nowie. We need to talk about something."
Lahat ng Hiñago ay nakaupo sa mga sofa. Umupo ako gilid ng kama ni Deo.
"What is it, Doc?" tanong ko.
"Sinabihan ako ni Lolo at Cadi na sabihin to sa inyo. Pero mukhang alam na nang iba. But nonetheless, I'm going to say it again. For the ears who haven't heard it yet." He paused and showed a brown folder. "First let's start with the good news." He smiled.
Umangal si Frian. "Start with the bad one, Kuya. What's new?"
"Ako ang madedesisyon kasi ako ang nagsasalita, Fri." the doctor said.
Napairap si Frian at nagkibit-balikat na lang.
"The good news is that, the investigation is done. Nung isang araw pa, actually. Ang bilis talaga ni Cadmael," puri niya.
"Does this involve my brother? After all..." I was hesitant to continue nahihiya akong aminin. "H-His punch started the shootout."
"Nowie, it's fine," Deo assured me.
Umiling ang doktor. "At the front. Your brother's name is involved but he was not the main reason. Parang ginawa lang siyang front reason ng mastermind kahit hindi. The main target is Deo. Reason? Just like the past. Jealousy." Nagkibit balikat ang doctor na para bang sanay na sanay na sa nangyayari. "Manliligaw mo raw ng four years iyong anak ni Governor? Anong pangalan nga non? Jiro o Hiro ba yon?"
"Jiro." Frian corrected him.
"Bakit si Kuya ang naging front?" tanong ko naman.
"Because Rahim has his issues," Si Frian na ang sumagot. "If si Rahim ang front. Jiro thought that it would be hard to find out who is the culprit. Maraming inggit sa Kuya mo eh. Lapitin rin ng gulo."
Well, I can't deny that Frian is right. Lapitin rin naman talaga ng gulo ang kapatid ko.
Pagak na natawa si Kuya Razi sa isang tabi. "Sino ba naman ang hindi magwawala? Nanligaw siya ng four years 'kuno' tapos itong kapatid ko na ilang buwan palang rito sa Pilipinas ang makakapagpasagot ng oo? It was years of tremendous effort versus few months of... " he looked at Deo judgingly, and just shook his head in disbelief. "...I don't know what to call it."
"Genuine love," Deo answered. "And prayers..."
Dumako naman sa akin ang tingin ni Kuya Razi, hindi pinansin ang kapatid niya. "Sabihin mo lang kung kinulit ka niyang kapatid ko o pinilit. Ako mismo tatapos diyan. Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa niyan at napasagot ka agad."
"Ano bang sekreto mo, Deo? Anong klaseng ligaw ang ginawa mo? Share some, I might use it in the future," Kuya Morgan asked while eating a slice of pizza.
"Prayers lang..." nginitian ni Deo ng pagkatamis-tamis ang kapatid at pinsan niya. "And to clarify, binalak kong manligaw pero hindi niya ako pinayagan." Deo pointed me sideways using his thumb.
"Kuya Razi, bulakbol si Jiro habang nanliligaw kay Nowie. Nowie made him stop years ago and clarified that there will be no more chances. Persistent at makulit rin talaga iyang si Jiro at hindi huminto," depensa ni Satari.
"Okay, stop, and let's proceed," Doc Morris explained. "Jiro got a full address to where the yacht party was held because of Vanessa De Leon, atleast allegedly. We can't say that Vanessa is directly involved because maybe Jiro just heard it considering na magkaibigan ang kapatid niya at si Vanessa."
It was mainly because of me. I threatened Jiro out of annoyance.
Napayuko tuloy ako sa naisip.
I heard a whisper and felt the breath close behind my hair. "Don't feel guilty about it..."
Umiwas ako at umusog papalayo sa kanya. For heaven's sake! His cousins are here, he should be mindful at least!
He just chuckled at my reaction but he earned a pinch in the ear from the doctor.
"Magpaawat ka muna at makinig ka naman, Dionisio!" parang nangungunsimisyon si Doc Morris sa pinsan niya at kulang na lang pumutok yung ugat niya sa noo. But wait? Dionisio? Was that a nickname used within the family?
Bumungisngis yung kambal sa gilid at nagtinginan kahit na pinapagitnaan ni Satari. Their dimples that were placed on the same side of their cheeks are showing because of their grin.
"Go on, Doc. I'm all ears," ngiti ni Deo at sinandal ang ulo sa balikat ko. Halatang nang-aasar at nagpapainggit.
I removed his head from my shoulders and gave him a glare as a warning. Mukhang nakuha niya naman agad dahil napatikhim siya at tumuwid ng upo. Truth to be told, wala rin akong pakialam kung makita kaming PDA ng mga pinsan niya. What's the point? We have nothing to hide anymore. But the things is, parang sobrang sensitive ko ngayong araw. Hindi ko maintindihan, pero simula noong halik na ginawa ko... ewan hindi ko na alam.
Ganito rin ako dati noong sumbusubok si Jiro na hawakan ako. Naiilang ako.
"As I was saying," Pinanlakihan ng Doc Morris ang pinsan niyang makulit at nagpatuloy. "Jiro is the mastermind of the shootout at the port. And the bad news is that..." Huminga muna ng malalim si Doc Morris bago nagpatuloy.
"Ano?" Inip na tanong ni Kuya Razi. "Dami mong suspense. Ganyan ka rin ba sa mga pasyente mo? Naghihingalo na nga, sinu-suspense mo pa yung diagnosis?"
"Wag kang atat, Razi. Pag sinabi ko 'to baka magmakaawa ka na bawiin ko sinabi ko," pinanlakihan siya ng mata ng doktor.
"Ano nga?"
"Dadating si Tito bukas."
"S-Sinong Tito?"
"May iba pa? Alangan namang hindi siya umuwi kahit nabaril ang anak niya?" Doc Morris gave Deo a side glance. "Tito Dionisio will arrive tomorrow. Baka madaling araw pa lang, nandito na iyon."
Dionisio? Is that the name of Deo's Dad? So that's the reason why his name is Donis. Ipinangalan pala siya sa tatay niya. Kaya rin pala Dionisio yung tinawag ni Doc kanina sa kanya. May halong asar rin pala iyon.
I knew the first name of Don Hinago's second son. But I didn't expect na may kasama palang Dionisio ang pangalan na yon.
Parang may dumaang anghel sa pagitan naming lahat. Tulala si Kuya Razi. Nagtitinginan naman yung kambal. Kuya Morgan was scanning the ceiling as if the lizard crawling in there was interesting. Si Satari lang ata ang hindi bothered sa narinig. Deo was sitting stiff as a rock beside me.
"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?" iritado ang boses ni Kuya Razi nang makabawi.
Namulsa si Doc Morris pero nakalabas pa rin naman ang hinlalaking daliri sa bulsa. Nagkibit-balikat siya. "Ngayon ko lang nalaman e."
"A-Akala ko ba ay hindi m-makakarating kay Papa ang nangyari?" Rheese stuttered.
Itinatago ba nila sa tatay nila ang nangyari?
"Iyon ang plano. Pero may matatago ka ba sa tatay mo, Rheese? Tayong lahat, walang usok na nakukulong sa palad sa pamilyang ito."
"Sinong nagsumbong?" Tanong naman ni Frian. Hindi katulad ni Rheese ay parang kalmado lang siya.
"Heneral ang tatay niyo, dapat pa bang itanong iyan?"
Frian sighed. He fixed his clothes and heaved a deep sigh. "Uuwi na ako kung ganon. Maglilinis ako."
I turned to Deo who was stiff as a rock. Kung hindi ko pa siya sinundot ay hindi ko makukuha ang atensiyon niya. "Yes, baby?"
"Should I visit you tomorrow? Mukhang bibisitahin ka ng Papa mo." I asked. "It will be fine kung hindi pwede."
"D-Do you want to meet him?" he asked hesitantly.
I guess it would be fine. But seeing the reaction of his brother's and cousins, siguro ay mas kakabahan ako kaysa noong pormal na ipinakilala niya ako sa lolo niya.
"Deo, not yet." Napalingon ako kay Kuya Razi. Umiling ito at hindi sumang-ayon sa ideya. "Kausapin mo muna si Papa at magpaliwanag ka sa mga bagay na dapat ipaliwanag."
Deo needs to explain about what? About us? Wala ba talagang kaalam-alam ang tatay niya? Is he going against his father's will because of this?
It's too early to conclude things. Para bang may ayaw sabihin sa akin si Deo o di kaya ay gusto niyang sabihin pero hindi niya magawa. Great, now I'm overthinking everything and it is hurting me.
Deo intertwined his hand with mine. And for some reason, parang may kumirot sa puso ko. "You can still visit me tomorrow."
I furrowed my brows. "Ayos lang ba talaga?"
Tumikhim si Kuya Morris. "I agree with Razi for this one, Deo. You need to talk to Tito first. I know he would want to see Nowie too."
Deo sighed. "No. It'll be fine."
"Kuya." This time, paglingon ko si Frian na ang nagsalita. Umiling ito. "Assure Dad first. Talk to him."
Sinangayunan ko na rin. "You heard the verdict of everyone in this room. I side with them. Magpapadala na lang ako ng food dito tomorrow. Is that okay?"
He pouted and shook his head.
"Ako naman ang magluluto ng food, Deo." I tried to bargain.
Parang nagliwanag ang mukha niya. Ngumiti siya agad at tumango. "I guess that's fine."
I asked Doctor Morris if there is anything na bawal niyang kainin ngayong nasa sensitive condition ang katawan niya. So far ay wala naman daw.
Biglang may kumatok sa pintuan. Rheese stood up and looked who it was. Para siyang nataranta. Namimilog ang mata niyang tinuro ang pinto at nagkanda-utal-utal sa sinasabi. "N-Nowie, Lola mo nasa labas na."
Iyon ang sinabi niya bago agarang binuksan ang pinto.
Tumunog ang yapak ng sapatos ni Abuela sa tiles na sahig ng kwarto. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko na hawak ni Deo at dumistansiya ng kaunti pa papalayo sa kanya. Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga bago tuluyang hinarap si Abuela.
Abuela scanned the whole place and not just the whole place, but every face of the Hiñagos present inside the room.
Satari and Frian was quick to stand na sinundan pa nang iba pang Hiñago. At first I thought that it was because they were alarmed by my Abuela's presence. But actually it was a sign of respect. Maging si Deo ay pinilit rin na tumayo kung hindi ko lang binulongan na pwede nang hindi.
But he insisted. Buti na lang at mahaba ang mga nakakunekta sa kanya na apparatus. I helped him stand up.
Abuela looked stern with that formal wear. My abuela is undeniably fond of formal royal fashion that is commonly seen among the royal bloods of Europe. Mas nakadagdag tuloy iyon sa awtoridad na inilalabas ng niya ng natural. But the things is, Satari was calm and collected. She reached for my grandmother's hand. Nag-mano siya agad.
Abuela was squinting her eyes as if recognizing the lady before her. Nanlaki ang mata niya matapos ng ilang minuto. "Estella..." mahinang usal niya. She blinked and sighed as if she realized something. "Oh sorry... Satari nga pala." She patted her head.
Frian and Rheese were waiting behind Satari to take turns. Nagmano rin sila. Si Doc Morris, Kuya Morgan at Kuya Razi ay ganoon rin ang ginawa.
Huling dumako ang mata ni Abuela sa amin ni Deo. She didn't move an inch. Hindi rin pwede maglakad si Deo papunta sa kanya. Deo can't do anything but greet her from afar. "Good afternoon, Madame," he greeted with accent.
"So, you are her Hiñago?" Deo looked shocked by that queston. Tinanguan siya ni Abuela pero nakataas pa rin ang isang kilay.
Nonetheless, she turned to me. Her eyes landed on my hand that was touching Deo's arm. Helping him stand up. Napabitaw ako at hinawakan na lang ang sariling kamay. Umiwas ako ng tingin agad.
"Young lady, it's not appropriate for you to stay in the man's den for so long. We should go home."
"We will go, Abuela." Agad na payag ko.
Nagpaalam ako sa kanila at ganoon rin kay Deo. He held my hand hand for one last time and that odd feeling was there again. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko na para bang napapaso ako.
There's this unusual feeling in my heart again. Like a painful stab in the chest.