Broken and lost..
Mew was sitting in the window. It was a week since he was brought to the hospital after that fateful night. His mind was blank. He didnt know anything about his condition. He didnt know what the doctor said. He was lost.
Phi Em came into the room with breakfast for him. She sighed for umpteenth time. She lost count how many times her heart skipped its beats looking at the man in front of her.
/*flash back*/
Title and Thanya came running downstairs in the middle of the night when they heard their Phi Em screaming like maniacs. Thanya fell on her knees looking at her unconscious Phi, in scratches and blood. Title composed himself running to Phi Em to help her with Phi Mew.
"Call the ambulance. Nowwww". She pushed him to call and he was instantly on phone. They quickly took Mew to the hospital where he was sent to the emergency ward.
Those were the longest 3 hours Em spent with Title in the waiting lounge. Thanya was left at home with her mommy. Finally, the door to the emergency room opened and the doctor came out.
"Who are you to him"? The doctor asked her.
"I am Em. His sister in law and he is Title. His nong". She introduced.
"Okay.. We need to have a word. But you alone please". The doctor asked her to come alone. She knew something was off.
"Title. Please go home. Ask Thanya to pack a bag for me and pick a bag for Mew. All toiletries and change of clothes. Bring towels especially okay"? She turned to Title who was reluctant to leave but he had to. He went taking the keys from Phi Em and went for home.
"Please come". The doctor motioned her to come with him in his office that she followed.
"Well. I need you to tell me everything that happened in few weeks or months"? The doctor started. Em was confused for a while and looked at him letting a shaky breath out.
She told him everything about Mew's boyfriend. About him being the carrier. About never being in a relationship before this one. How he met an accident and found he was pregnant. Everything she knew till today that she didnt know what happened at the apartment. He left her happy and excitement that he wanted to surprise his boyfriend. But what happened in those 5 hours.... It was something only Mew could tell.
"Hmmm. Well. His mind is kind of shut due to some shock. His body is not responding to the treatment. We have put him under medicines to sleep for a while. For now two days. He wont wake up. But we made sure he is kept under observation. For his health!! We will induce medicines and important liquid diet that his body requires for himself and his baby.
Yes. He is pregnant. For now the fetus is weak. And the bleeding caused a bit complication for his baby. Am afraid he cannot sustain any other pregnancy. We have to make sure he takes complete rest. No tension. No skipping meals and medicines, else he may lose his child.
I have prescribed medicines that will help strengthen his fetus. But he needs complete bed rest for first trimester. Are you getting my point"? The doctor turned to Em with sympathetic eyes as she was crying silently for his brother in law , who was nothing but kind and loving to her.
"Will.. Will he be okay"? She asked. The doctor smiled a bit.
"He will only if we help him. I dont know about his relationship with his boyfriend, but make sure he doesnt contact him till Mew recovers fully. Any thing can trigger him and if he lost control, we wont be able to do anything..okay"? He asked and they heard a soft knock.
"Can i come in sir"? Em quickly wiped her face to turn to see Title.
"Come in young man. Well your Phi is shifted in a private room. I am afraid only one person can stay with him for the night so..".
"Title. Baby. You go home. Mom and Thanya needs you. Ask Thanya to sleep with Mom and you too okay. Lock the doors. And do not open it for anyone. No matter what anyone says..okay"? She turned to Title..
"Phi. I want to see Phi Mew. Then i will leave". He was on a verge of breakdown.
"You guys can see him. Dont talk. No noise. Okay"? The doctor left his seat to guide them to the room where Mew was admitted under high sedatives.
Em felt a pang in her heart. Her brother in law, with a heart of gold was so silent that it scared her. Even being friends, she didnt know anything that broke him so much. It was more of an emotional pain that any physical abuse that he was suffering. She hide Title in her arms wiping her tears. She had to be strong for her nongs. And her buddy.
Mew woke up after four days. And since then he was quiet. Silent. Lost. His eyes were blank. No more stars glittering in those mischievous crescents. No warmth. It was like she was meeting a totally different person.
For the first day Doctor didnt let anyone meet him. Not to trigger any pain any trauma. They just kept him under obsetvation. Liquid food intake. Monitoring of his babies. But to everyone's surprise, he was calm. No panic. No shouting. And he didnt even once ask about his baby . He was just laying on his back looking at the ceiling until he fell asleep again.
/*end of flashback*/
Em felt her heart shattered in pieces. Mew was never weak. He stood strong when his Phi and Pho were murdered. He didnt lose himself when his mother slipped into her sub space. He was there when Em lost her only baby. He held her, helped her to stay put. But now. She couldn't do anything to help him. She was so helpless.
"Hi Mew. How you doing? I made prawn soup. Its soo yummy". She approached Mew who was sitting in the window.
Mew glanced at her once before changing his gaze back to the life running down in the roads.
"You know. Title and Thanya have scored full score in their tests. Mom is better too. She spent good time with nongs. She was asking about you. She told me she feels her heart is in pain. That reminded me of being a mother. When a baby is in pain, the mother feels the pain too. But i told her everything is fine and you will come to see her soon.
I have switched off your phone too. Lets take a break huh"? She said taking a warm wet towel to massage his hair and neck.
"Ba...by". She snapped her head to see Mew looking at her with pained expressions. .
"Baby.. My baby. What happened to my baby? My baby is okay Phi? Right? My baby. I cant lose my baby please. Phiii". That was it. That was what everyone wanted. He needed to let it out. All the pain. All the suffocation.
Em held him in his arms. Holding close she let him cry out every pain he endured. Without breaking the embrace she pushed the button to call the doctor and he was there in no time.
"What happened"? He rushed to hold a shivering trembling Mew in his arms. Em was trembling in tears too. She told him about what happened earlier and that triggered Mew that his baby is not safe. So he broke down in tears.
"Ssshhhh Mew. Listen buddy. You are okay. Your is okay buddy. They are perfectly fine. You didnt lose your baby, bro. Its okay. You are safe". He hauled Mew to his chest whispering words of comfort.
"You.. You are not lying Doctor". He fisted Doctor's shirt.
"Its Thanitt. And no i am not lying. You are fine and your baby too. But you have to be strong for your baby because he is a bit weak. We need to eat a lot. Laugh a lot. Stay happy a lot. Okay"? He took him to the bed.
"Here. Check these ultrasounds. See your baby. He is perfectly fine". Thanitt handed him the ultrasound images. Mew was awestruck. His eyes were focused on the colored 3D image of a little bean in his body. He brought the picture to his lisp to kiss it once before shedding a few tears of love before he hug it to his chest.
"You okay buddy"? Phi Em came to sit by his side.
"Phi. See. My baby. My baby Phi". He was in happy tears. Like he forgot everything that happened to him after looking at the picture he was holding.
"Yes Mew. You baby is fine. He is a fighter. But have to fight with him okay. We have to take rest and eat properly. He needs a strong Dad to carry him. You can do it buddy. Right"? Phi Em held his head on her shoulder.
"Phi. What if i couldnt take care of him"? Mew said with worried expressions.
Thanitt smiled looking at them. He drag a chair and sat beside Mew on the other side of the bed.
"Mew. I will help you. Your Phi Em will help you. We will make sure nothing happens to you and your baby. But you have to promise me that you will be strong. You have to take very good care of yourself. Your first trimester is very complicated and sensitive. You need complete bed rest. I was thinking you should, atleast, spend the first month here. In the hospital. A Gynea will supervise you 24/7. And i will be the child specialist and nutritionist. We will monitor everything time to time. It will be easy to commute in the premises than coming from home everytime. After first month we will see if you can go back home or not. But we need your cooperation. Promise"? Thanitt clearly explained him everything about his condition.
"I promise Dr Thanitt. I will be strong. I have to. For my family. For Phi Em. For my baby". He held Phi Em's hand and she nodded in promise to help him..
Mew was changed. He was serious about taking rest. No phone calls. No messages. No work. He could watch tv. Movies. Eating a lot. Everything he wanted, Phi Em would get him. Dr Thanitt had set an appointment with his Gynea. He was personally supervising him.
They got close in no time. Thanitt would spend free time with Mew playing games or just gossips. He was amazed when he came to know Mew could play guitar. And the next day he brought Mew in the hospital garden with lots of his fellow doctors and patients.
They spent the night with Mew playing guitar and everyone singing songs. Em was happy to see his brother in law smiling again. She was really thankful to dr Thanitt for helping him stand on his feet again.
Mew woke up a morning listening to the chit chat in the room. His eyes open wide to see a big aisle. Lots of canvases and paints.
"Morning Mew. Uhmmm i dont know much about paints and paint brushes. So i bought everything the shopkeeper told". Thanitt grin ear to ear showing his perfect enameled smile and Mew face palmed himself.
"Remind me to kill you and Phi Em when i get out of the bed". Mew said with a huff and Thanitt chuckled. He could see his eyes shining even if he was pretending to sulk.
"You are welcome". Thanitt said smiling as he saw Mew leaving the bed to sit on the stool in front of the aisle. He moved his hand on the number of tubes arranged on the tray. He chuckled looking at the colors and then arranged them accoeding to his mind set. Same color family. Base colors. Highlighters. Thanitt was just observing him standing behind him arms crossed. He saw Mew arranging the brushes. Crayons. Color pencils. Drawing pencils. He was lost in his own world unaware of the surroundings.
His eyes lit when he saw Mew picking up the color pallet and paint brush. Just then he heard the door opening.
"Ssshhh". He shushed Em who was about to say anything. They silently took seats on the couch behind Mew. Looking at how professionaly and beautifully Mew was stroking on the white canvass turning it into beautiful shades. Giving it a life.
Thanitt saw how his arms flexed for a long strike. He smiled when Mew would bite the brush thinking about the next color. Or the concentration that he was unaware of the bangs falling of his forehead. How eagerly and excitedly he would move the brush to mix different colors. He would frown with Mew when he would struggle to find a specific color from now scattered tray. He could see him drawing with a pure professional attitude. Storking lines after lines. Mixing and blending with his fingers and thumb. He himself was turned into an art work.
Thanitt and Em didnt realise how much time had passed when Mew drew a final stroke and placed the brush in the cup that was filled with clean water. And now no one could recognize the color of it.
"Hmmmmm". Mew covered the aisle with the sheet and turned with a satisfied smile and jolted in surprise. "When did you come"?
Thanitt scoffed.
"Seriously Mew. Me and Em were sitting here like statues, not even breathing loud not to distract you. And then its you asking, when did we come". He said and Mew smiled sheepishly.
"I am sorry. I lost the count of time when i paint". He brushed the hair at his nape.
"Its okay Mew. I am happy as long as you are happy. By the way can we see what did you paint"? Phi Em said looking into his eyes. She saw his eyes turning from warm to hesitant.
"Its.. Its". He turned to remove the cover hesitantly. Thanitt and Em held their breath when they saw the beautiful portrait of a baby snuggled into his chest.
"Its.. My baby. My strength". He smiled moving his fingers like touching the back of the baby covered with a delicate silk and wrapped in his strong arms.
Em turned and hide her face in Thanitt's arm crying with pain. She was happy no doubt. But the hollow in Mew's eyes was scaring her. He felt a strong grip on her hand, indicating to be together with her. They both turned to see Mew sitting in front of the portrait with his hands on his stomach and the love that he had for his baby on his lips.