Quick update: I have decided to rename the story. On second thought, I think it fits better like this :)
Perrie POV
We hit the cold, wet floor hard and although I try to cushion her fall somehow, I land right on top of her and only make things worse. Behind us I hear Jesy and Leigh laughing loudly and the dancers quickly join in. Jesy can't get it together as she comes up beside us with Leigh and tries to pull us to our feet. I can imagine how stupid the fall must have looked. Under normal circumstances I would have laughed tears as well. But not like that. I fell on top of Jade. Jade, who is tired, weak and fragile anyway. Jade, who is ill. And she is quiet, too quiet.
I quickly pick myself up off her, touch her back, stare at her worriedly as Leigh and Jesy rock each other up and laugh some more. When I sit down next to her, freeing her from my weight, she still doesn't move.
"Jade?", I say anxiously as she finally moves and lifts her head. A soundless laugh is heard and I breathe a sigh of relief. Always her silent laughter, I was beginning to fear she was seriously hurt.
"Come on, sit up," I continue to speak and with relief I finally manage to let the laughter in and soon can't stop myself. It already felt so stupid, I can imagine what it must have looked like. And judging by Leigh's and Jesy's faces, the image is beyond even my imagination.
We are all laughing our heads off when Jade finally sits up too and looks at me properly. At first I think she was laughing tears, but there are too many tears. I immediately lose my smile and stare at her in shock.
"Babe, what's wrong?" she shakes her head with only a slight grin, but I don't buy iz. I don't know if she's in shock or if she doesn't want to show anything, but something is wrong. I stand up quickly, grab her under the armpits and pull her up with a jerk, whereupon she groans softly. I pull her glasses off her nose so I can see her eyes and the tears continue to run briskly.
"Hey, talk to me, what hurts?", I demand a little more forcefully now, which makes Leigh and Jesy fall silent after all as they come closer to us and look questioningly at Jade. And when her eyes fall on her left hand, I can't help but touch it quickly, causing her to cry out softly.
"Shit, sorry," I say immediately and let go of her. She lifts it slowly now and I shine my phone flashlight on it to see better.
"Did you fall on it?", I ask quickly, but immediately realise how stupid that question is. Obviously she fell on it. "I can barely see, but you're holding it very weird," I explain and she just shrugs.
"Feels a bit weird too," she says quietly and I eye her pityingly. She doesn't need that on top.
We walk quickly into the airport for better light and my eyes almost fall out of my face. She has a small scrape from the impact on her hand, which has already swollen badly in just a few minutes.
"That looks really bad," Jesy now interjects worriedly and I can only nod in agreement.
"I think we need to go to the hospital," I say quietly and she looks at me as if I've just robbed her of all the happiness in the world. "No, please not again," she pleads.
"Babe, if something is broken, we need to get it checked out," I explain to her and I know she knows I'm right. But I also know she's tired, cold, uncomfortable and she's in pain and just wants to go home. But there is no way around it.
"We still have to go to the fans for a bit," she says meekly and I actually want to contradict her, but I also know that she won't let me talk her out of it and decide that the minutes won't matter now.
Nevertheless, I protectively put my arm around her waist and lead her out of the airport doors, whereupon the screams of the waiting fans get louder and louder. They are also shouting Little Mix in chorus, but it is mainly the shouts for Jerrie that reach my ears, which brings a smile to my lips.
Jesy and Leigh walk off the waiting fans alone, while Jade and I stay close together so I can keep an eye on her. We sign autographs, take selfies and hug a few before thanking everyone for coming and getting into the waiting car.
"God, my hand is killing me," Jade says as soon as we close the doors, which surprises me. Normally she wouldn't say anything like that. So she really is getting worse.
"So off to the hospital," Leigh says quietly.
"You two can actually go home though. It's been a long day and we have to get up early tomorrow, I'm looking after Jade here," I say.
"You can go home too," Jade whispers to me, but I stare at her, aghast.
"There's no way I'm letting you go there alone," I say immediately.
"And we're coming too!", Jesy vehemently counters, and her tone alone makes it clear that she will not be argued with. So we are, once again, on our way to the hospital.
"Miss Thirlwall, you have a metacarpal fracture," the doctor announces as we've been here for ages waiting in vain.
"A what?", I immediately enquire.
"She broke her hand," he explains and I tear my eyes open in shock.
"Don't worry, it's more harmless than it sounds. We don't have to do surgery, that's very good. You just need to wear a cast for four to six weeks to give your hand the rest it needs and then everything should be fine," he says calmly and I breathe a sigh of relief but a glance at Jade makes me gulp again.
She's been miserable the whole time we've been waiting. She is tired anyway, exhausted, sick. A broken bone on top of that brings her to the brink of despair. She's given up talking for a while now as she can't even really keep her eyes open. I don't even remember when she last slept.
We had a good time in the waiting area first. The fans were once again particularly quick to share our arrival in London with the world, much to Jade's displeasure. Every picture she was in she hated. Every selfie she hated. And I can even understand her. Even though she is the most beautiful person in the world to me, the pictures are less favourable. Added to her sickly appearance were the tear-stained cheeks that everyone noticed. And, of course, there was an immediate hail of theories and outcries, all involving the same question: What's wrong with Jade?
The videos of the fan choruses and especially the Jerrie chants also seemed to be the talk of the town in no time, which of course made us happy, but the label certainly didn't like it. I wonder how long our game with fire can go on.
But after the pastime with social media became too boring for us and our stomachs growled loudly, Leigh got something to eat somewhere. While the three of us filled our bellies, Jade took maybe five forkfuls and then announced she was full.
"You're wasting away in front of us," Jesy voiced her concern, which hit both me and Jade much deeper than she could have guessed. But Jade remained stubborn. Apart from never being hungry at the moment anyway, she was now in too much pain to force anything into her.
The initially fun waiting time finally turned into horror. Jade became paler and paler, her eyes redder and redder, her hand more and more swollen and blue. But it seemed the status of a pop star makes no difference in a hospital on a stressful evening, which would normally make me enormously happy, but not when it comes to my Jade.
After a while we sent the other two home, knowing full well that they would be expected there and after some discussion, they finally went home, leaving us alone. I don't know how long we were actually there, but it felt like hours until we were finally taken to a doctor. Another eternity passed before it was even determined what the problem was.
But now here we are and we finally know the diagnosis. A metacarpal fracture, six weeks in a cast and that during the tour. I really wonder what Jade has done to the universe to get so much bad luck and punishment all at once. Whereas I still hold out hope she'll forget about the tour and focus on getting healthy and fit again, but that remains to be seen.
"And what about the pain?" I then ask and he just hands us a prescription. "She just had pneumonia recently and had to take antibiotics and when she took strong pills for some back pain, she had a pretty severe backlash," I explain, feeling all this happened many weeks ago and not just 20 hours at the most.
"These aren't that strong, they're normal painkillers that are perfectly compatible with other medications," he says kindly and I just nod, hoping he's not lying to us. I couldn't bear to see her like that again.
With a fresh cast and new pills, we can finally leave the hospital in the middle of the night. Jade clings weakly to my arm with her good hand as we get into the taxi and finally drive to her flat. She actually wanted to persuade me to go to my house so that I could somehow get my things, but I immediately refused. I have the essentials with me anyway and whatever else I might need, I just borrow from her. The main thing is to finally get to her home and to bed.
She gave up talking a long time ago. I don't even know if she's still mentally awake or if she's actually asleep and just keeps her eyes open spasmodically. Either way she looks like a ghost by now. I'm sure I don't look like the blooming life either after the long flight straight after the show and half a night in the hospital waiting area. The late hour didn't stop the paparazzi from waiting spellbound outside the hospital to catch a glimpse of us. Apparently they followed our car here. They're getting crazier and more dangerous by the day. I'm sure the media will eat up the picture of Jade and me leaving the hospital, again. It doesn't affect me that much, on the contrary, this is how we even promote our relationship, make it more obvious with every public appearance, feed the fans and media with their theories and annoy the label and management at the same time. Only I know for a fact that Jade hates these pictures of herself lately. We used to make fun of bad snapshots of fans or paparazzi, but currently she is so insecure about her own appearance. Normally she is confidence in person. But I guess her poor health makes her weak, listless and insecure about so many things anyway that she probably has no energy left for self-confidence right now. So it's up to me to convince her every minute of every day that she is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out, and no picture in the world from any paparazzi could ever change that.
I help her carefully to get out of the taxi, put an arm around her to steady her so she doesn't fall again and pay the taxi driver. As we close the flat door, I sigh with relief. Finally. With a loud plop, I drop our bags and push her forward.
"Come on, let's go to bed," I say and walk further into the flat when I stop abruptly. The whole flat is devastated, as if a bomb had hit it. The door was locked, but from the looks of the place, someone must have broken in while we were in America.
"Shit, Jade," I curse immediately. "We have to call the police," I say quickly, already pulling out my phone, when she turns around in confusion and speaks for the first time in hours, "What? Why?"
I stare at her, aghast. "Why?!", I enquire. "Look around, someone broke in!"
I would have expected any reaction. That she would look around in panic, that she would nod hurriedly for me to call the police, that she might even reassure me to relax a bit. But not that she would lower her head with tears running down her cheeks. Not that she looks up briefly, ashamed and sad, only to say meekly, "Babe, no one broke in."
"But...but," I stammer as I continue to look around. I only know Jade as a very tidy person. Jesy is more like our messy one. It never looked like this here, not at for second. And we lived together, I know what I'm talking about.
"I was in a pretty bad place before we flew to LA. The only thing that helped were these pills, but they always stopped working after rehearsal, so I could hardly do anything here except sleep. And then before we left, I didn't have any more and I was really stressed out, I just fell into bed at night and had to pack in the morning. And time was very limited," she then admits quietly and I can tell it's not easy for her, she might even be ashamed of the state of her flat.
"I'm sorry I overreacted, I was just a bit startled," I then admit with a laugh, "But please don't feel bad that the place is a bit messier than usual," I understate.
"I hadn't even thought about it anymore, to be honest. Otherwise I would have insisted on going to your place," she counters.
"Why?" I ask in surprise. "It doesn't matter what it looks like here. Besides, you even explained it to me. I think it's terrible that you were in such a bad way, that it's even visible in your flat, and yet you were alone. But I'm here now," I promise her.
"But...", she stutters a little, but I don't even let her finish. "No, listen to me," and she falls silent. "I know you hate being vulnerable and you never like to accept or allow help. But those days are over. I'm here now, I'm not leaving you, ever. You don't have to go through anything alone and I'll help you no matter what. You won't get rid of me," I say insistently, meaning every word.
And seemingly overcome by her own emotions, she suddenly falls into my arms and presses herself tightly against me as she buries her face in my neck. And I just hold her. Give her the support and comfort and security she seems to need so much right now. But when I feel something wet on my neck after a while, I do loosen up so I can look her in the face.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" It doesn't take long, though, before I basically know what's wrong.
"I wanted to take a shower," she whispers as the tears just stream down her face.
"Then go and take a shower," I say with a smile, but she just shakes her head and raises her cast. "How?" she asks and I have to smile a little. I feel so sorry for her, but she is so cute right now that I can't suppress the smile.
"I'll just help you. We'll put a bag around your hand so it doesn't get wet. You take a quick shower and then we'll go straight to bed," I suggest and when she nods, I take her good hand and lead her to the bathroom.
Unfortunately, the state of her flat seems more and more neglected when, after a long search, I couldn't find a single waterproof bag big enough to fit over her hand. So frustrated by this, she didn't stop crying at all. I wanted to just send her to bed, but she refused because she wanted to wash the germs of the hospital off of her. So I ended up helping her even more than I actually thought by standing in the shower with her and holding her arm above her head while I rinsed her body. She washed her hair, as did I, with the remaining dry shampoo, after which we got rid of the remnants of makeup. I picked out what seemed to be the only two clean shirts and shorts for sleeping that she had left, and finally she was in bed.
"That was the first time we've been naked this close since we got back together," she says then with a grin as she lies in my arms under the covers and I have to laugh out loud as it hits me too. Before, I couldn't even look at her with clothes on without wanting to take them off immediately and even after the break-up I found it hard. If she had stood naked in front of me under normal circumstances, if I had also undressed in front of her to stand in the shower with her, it wouldn't have taken a second before we were all over each other. But neither of us thought for a moment about sex when we were in the shower, or even before. It's not because Jade is suddenly less attractive to me. As I said, that will never happen. But since she's so fragile and so weak, and on top of that injured, her wellbeing is my top priority. I just want her to be okay. My mind is so full of taking care of her that sex has not been a factor. I do miss her, her closeness, her body. But her laughter, her bright eyes, the glow on her skin, I miss all that even more. I would never want to push her into something she doesn't feel good enough to do right now.
"If I wasn't so messed up, I would have rocked your world," she mumbles into my chest as she continues to snuggle against me.
I laugh out loud. "I know that, baby. You'll show me when you're a little better though," I say then.
"Better count on it," she replies and it's not a minute before she's finally asleep and I give her a light kiss on the head and breathe a sigh of relief.
So...Perrie is engaged!!!
I am so happy for her! I think she's wanted this for a long time and it's finally happening! So exciting! This might make writing a Jerrie story a little weirder, but don't worry. I'm still finishing this story! :)