Levi sat in silence with Petra. The patrol car was parked hidden behind nature facing the main road. Their concealed position gave them the perfect cover to check other vehicles' speed as they drove by.
Petra picked at her fingernails she'd chose not to decorate out of professionalism. The uncomfortable tension in the car she'd yet to adapt to left the skin around her nails cut and red. She hadn't bleed and only cared if the blood accidently spilt into Levi's provided car.
Levi had noticed her nervous habit early on but had yet to comment on it. He was used to worse forms of self-harm for more concerning reasons. He'd trained himself to resist the urge to show nervousness around others resulting in them believing he felt no emotions at all.
A car drove by. Levi checked the TruCam's screen displaying the previously passed vehicle's speed. Satisfied that it was an acceptable speed, he sat back and waited for the next car.
Petra swallowed her spit without noise. The road was desolate meaning nothing could distract him. "Did you have a good evening, sir?" she asked.
Levi responded after a few seconds had passed. "It was different."
The word fit well. Eren had ordered a unique order but he was too tired to complain. The small chocolate tasted wrong to him until Eren insisted that's what they tasted like. He'd ignored the toy inside the green capsule which Eren snatched immediately.
Levi went to bed and decided not to question why Eren had bought a large takeout with desert and not a blanket for his sofa bed.
"Different in what way?" Petra pressed, respectfully.
Levi chose to keep the information regarding adopting an addict to himself.
"Just different." he figured summed up his night well.
Levi's short answers left Petra more discomforted. She'd yet to uncover how to approach Levi. He appeared to respect direct questions instead of dancing around a subject and wasting his time but she was unsure what questions he would answer.
"I don't suppose you've heard anything regarding Marco." she paused. "The attempted-"
"Jumper. I remember," he interjected. The young man who may have taken his own life mere days ago had Levi not intervened. "No, but that's to be expected. There's no need for the hospital to do a follow-up with us."
"Does that mean we might never know what happened to him?" she queried, concern unmistakable in her tone.
"Presumably. Unless it's an ongoing case or heading towards a court you won't be asked questions about it." Levi saw the discouragement on her face out of the corner of his eye. He had to remind himself not everyone was as despairing as he was. He was able to head home after a shift and forget about his day. So far, she carried her worries with her. "It's better this way. You can't afford to get attached to the people you help, especially the mentally ill."
Petra registered his advice. "Better for who, exactly?"
"For both of you. You're a police officer for more than one person. Everyone needs our help. You need to recognise that there's only so much we can do and that we can't provide the psychiatric help the mentally ill need. Eventually, you'd have to cut ties with them and if they're too attached to you it could have disastrous effects. You'll carry that guilt with you even after you inevitably quit."
She changed the subject. "Did you mean what you said? About hating being a PTO?"
Levi sighed. "I'd prefer not to teach but I'm here and there's no getting out of it."
Once more, the car entered a stage of gauche silence. The seriousness in his tone sounded dissimilar. Levi was a composed man speaking from experience and logic. However, he would occasionally disclose helpful fragments of information without specific details that made her question whether they were anecdotes or personal history?
Petra bit her lip in anticipation and anxiety. Her eyes shifted back and forth from him to the road. A car drove past compelling Levi to sit up and check the police device.
"I read your file." she blurted aloud.
A statement followed by silence and silence became terrifying. She wasn't sure if Levi had checked the technology when he leant back in the car seat. Like an annoyed cat, he craned his head in her direction with a narrowed-eyed scowl.
"You read my file?" he followed.
Suddenly, eye contact had become much harder. "I don't know anyone in the station other than you and Sergeant Smith."
"So that gives you permission to read my file?" his voice was devoid of feelings, intimidating Petra.
"...I've heard rumours about you around the station. Negative things. I don't really know but they sounded like lies. Still...they just say a lot of things behind your back." she clarified her perspective.
"They don't say them behind my back anymore," he commented. "What made you think reading my file would help."
"I needed to know. Do you really want to do this job or are you one of those officers who just clocks in and clocks out? I needed to know if you're committed to policing."
"Quiet."
A single word shut her up. Seconds after she'd silenced herself she recognised what she'd said. The adrenaline formerly controlling her speech dissipated, leaving her to accept the punishment and clean up the mess."
"First off, I didn't sign up, I was recommended. If I didn't give a shit about this job I wouldn't be here. Second, I am training you in the ways I see fit. Smith and I are the only police you'll ever need in that damn station considering the others would rather spread rumours about me. I'll teach the lessons I'm supposed to teach as well as the shit that's kept me alive all these years. You want to transfer? Make a complaint with Smith, don't bitch to me. And third... what did my file teach you?"
She blinked in surprise. "What?"
"My file. What did you learn from it?" he reiterated.
She was thrown off by the spontaneous request. "You were involved in a fight. You were fighting a sex offender. Sergeant Smith broke it up and a month later you joined the police in two thousand and thirteen."
"That's how basic it is? Erwin must have pulled a lot of strings." Levi stated, mostly to himself.
"Is the report not accurate?" asked Petra.
"Accurate enough to get me into the academy apparently," he replied. "But it's missing a few details."
He saw her staring, silently asking for him to elaborate which he was reluctant to. Levi sighed unnecessarily loudly. "Would you like a bedtime story?" he asked. She nodded. "Tch."
_______________________________________
A grey overcast brought Levi back to a miserable reality. Looking up at the sky, he could see the early warning signs of approaching rain. His tattered grey Nike hoodie and black jeans complimented the standard English weather. Afghanistan suffered from war-torn civilisations and terrorist organisations but at least the sun was welcomed there.
Stuffed under the twenty-five year-old's arm was a newspaper handed out for a cheap price when he picked up a cheap meal for tonight in a carrier bag. He'd walked to a store just in his price range due to his Lance Corporal pay but he'd overestimated the foreign walk.
A drop of rain struck his cheek. His free hand wiped at hairy skin, feeling the scratchy hair rub against his fingers. His unwashed black locks fell in front of his eyes and obscured his vision but he lacked the energy to adjust them.
His old hoodie chafed his bare skin underneath. He shuffled his arm to remove the unlaundered fabric off his flesh. His muscles were still prominent but had slowly begun to fade. The veterans unhealthy lifestyle took the blame.
Levi halted at the bus stop. The glass and metal canopy illegally embellished with graffiti and cigarette butts provided protection from the incoming weather. Two pensioners sat beside him forcing him to stand instead of rest. His back touched the cool metal where he relaxed in wait for the public transport.
His body was no stranger to muscle memory. He slid the shopping bag down his arm. The hoops stopped at the wrist leaving both hands free instead of sinking it to the floor where dirt could infect it.
Absentmindedly, his right fingers reached out for his left ring finger. Slim silver metal circled the bottom of his ring finger loosely enough for his other hands to swivel side to side. He'd still yet to take it off. He doubted he would.
"Excuse me?" a voice called.
Levi pretended to ignore it until he felt a tapping on his arm. With a slow frustrated blink, he stared down at his personal space intruder. One of the pensioners, a woman, looked up at his taller figure innocently.
He waited for her to express herself. "Do you have the time on you?"
No phone. No watch. No sun to roughly gauge. He refused to believe his house keys or wallet could tell the time. He could guess based on the limited amount of light but they were at a bus stop. She wanted something specific.
"I don't." his gruff tired voice replied. He saw her mildly flinch at his rough tone. He assumed she was not used to such a low register. He spared her no second look but could imagine her regretful expression after talking to him. The veteran knew he was unnecessarily rude but he simply didn't care.
Laughter caught his ears. Unwittingly, Levi located the source of the sound. He'd stepped past a park without realising. Behind the bars coated in fading brown paint lay green grass. The impending rain threatened to dampen it.
Multiple children, half-watched by their parents, played with each other. He resented them for lacking the responsibilities weighing down on his bruised adult body. His features grew soft, less aggressive as he gazed at the childhood stolen from him.
Since their age, he'd been cursed with observant eyes to see the world for the dump it truly was. At the time, he considered it a gift given his circumstances. Now, as an adult, he realised a true gift would be to live a life like theirs.
His detective-like eyes were his second nature which was how he'd witnessed something no one else apparently had.
A man of a similar age to him if not slightly older with surprisingly long blonde hair. Much like Levi, he hadn't bothered to fix it or his stubble. What helped stand him out was his simple black suit with a white shirt and long grey trench coat. Levi couldn't make out his eye colour but none of the other children had blonde hair. They were too far and quick for him to make out facial features. The blonde sat alone on an old bench, seemingly watching the children.
Levi felt something constrict his heart inside his chest as if a snake had wrapped around the pumping body part. His ears faintly heard the sound of a bus engine slowing down, shortly followed by the hydraulics hissing.
The door squeaked but still, Levi directed most of his attention to the man. Passengers got off before the old couple entered the vehicle.
"Oi, mate!" someone yelled. "You gettin' on?"
Finally, Levi removed his eyes from the man and trudged toward the bus. He lifted his foot to step onto the platform but paused. The bus driver, an older man, clearly wanting to get his shift over with, glared in contempt.
"What ya playin' at? You gettin' on or what?" the bus driver demanded.
Levi's foot hovered completely motionless. His molars ground against each other while his hands twitched, wanting to hit something.
"Fuck." he muttered.
He turned tail and left, ignoring the string of curses directed his way. Through the passing bars, he observed the blonde stare at the children. The bus drove past him and he blanked it once more.
To further ignore the voices in his head telling him to mind his business, he piloted all his attention on the stranger.
Levi reached the wide-open gate. He entered the premises making sure to not study the man noticeably. Instead, Levi kept his eyes on the twisting concrete pavement. A second bench separated the unidentified individual from the gang of middle-aged mothers conversing with each other.
Ex-Corporal Ackerman took a seat on the wet metal. To avoid being detected, he lowered his shopping bag on the bench rather than hooking it on his wrist. The newspaper he'd had tucked under his arm opened up. It rustled in his grip. He buried his face in it as a distraction.
Decades of training and exposure worked in his favour. He felt eyes staring at him enough to know not to make any sudden moves or look back. The blonde's eyes shifted away and back to the children.
Levi glanced out of the corner of his own, seeing him refocused. Levi returned to the paper and waited for the man to make a move. He skimmed over the words to keep up appearances if someone else was surveying him.
His eyes glossed over the date at the top of the paper. '2013' it read. Two years. Two years had passed yet it still felt like yesterday. Weeks worth of events merged into twenty-four hours.
The simple remembrance caused him fatigue followed by nausea. He frowned at the paper in an attempt to focus his pupils on the blurry words.
A third party suddenly shouted. Levi peeked from the paper to the party of mothers waving at their children. Levi pursued their directed summoning to the children by name. One by one, the playing youths rose from the sandpit or descended from the multicoloured climbing frame to return to their parent. Levi watched them all leave as unsuspiciously as possible.
In the end, all but one child had vacated the playground. One quick glimpse at the stranger and Levi saw he'd noticed too. Even from a distance, Levi detected the thick hearing aid struck in the child's ear.
His chest rose when he saw the man ascend from the seat and stalk his way to the young kid. Levi bowed his head in the paper as the man rotated his head around with wide hyper eyes. He towered over the child who was none the wiser to the newcomer's presence.
His face became composed again. He knelt next to the child. The kid shared no resemblance to the man. Black hair, blue eyes and more of a rounded face instead of the grown man's blonde hair, dark eyes and stretched face. The child jumped when he noticed the adult kneeling behind him but to Levi's dismay, he made no sound.
It appeared as though the blonde quietly chuckled. He raised his hands to speak with the child through sign language which the child understood and happily signed back. The surprise on the young face in seeing someone else understand a difficult physical speech confirmed Levi's horrific suspicions.
No physical resemblance. A real father would be fluent enough in BSL for the kid to not get excited over straightforward communication. Yet, he knows sign language and found a vulnerable kid desperate to talk to someone.
Planned. Orchestrated. Sickening.
A womanly voice from the other side of the park called out but exclusively two out of three individuals heard her. Levi watched with anxiousness as the stranger rose from his feet, extending his hand out to the child.
"Don't be an idiot." Levi communed with himself, inaudibly pleading with any religious entity to spare the oncoming trauma. His musings went unacknowledged.
His expression fell when the child took the older man's hand with his smaller one. Levi glared at their fleeting bodies, the climbing frame obscuring their secret getaway.
Levi shot from his seat, slamming the newspaper down. He took one step toward the mother with rapidly growing fear but halted just like before.
The constricting of his heart grew tighter like a heart attack but it wasn't pain he felt. The pieces fell into place as he looked back from the retreating duo and terrified mother.
Slowly, as if he didn't want to accept it was there, he found the silver ring on his finger. No intimate details. No script or text. Just a simple cheap store-bought wedding ring. That was when he recognised the feeling wrapped around his heart. Anger. Deep unadulterated rage.
He spared the mother little thought and purposefully left his items behind. He flipped his grey hood over his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. The young man glared behind locks of black hair. Violence empowered his twitching fingers.
_______________________________________
The grown blonde man smiled at no one in particular as he walked hand in hand with a child. Natural ecstasy left him on a high and completely unaware of his surroundings.
The child removed their soft warm hand from his own. He spun around immediately with frightened eyes and parted lips. The kid did not seem to notice as he began to sign.
'You have a funny name. Willy.'
Willy beamed at the child, fear fleeting instantly. 'Yes. I suppose it is a funny name.'
The two enveloped hands once more and set off on their way. The area of town was rough and at night, it reached its zenith.
The late afternoon cover was perfect. Children in uniforms were free from the clutches of school and so frantic to do something else. Anything else.
Willy led the kid away from the main road, down into the smaller twisting streets of old council houses and abandoned structures. His real address, miles in a different direction and his name absent from any suspect list.
Willy Tybur was a rich free man to commit whatever he wanted. He knew what he wanted when he sent the child in his care a smile.
They came to an abrupt stop outside one of the few deserted structures welcomed by exploring teenagers and the local addicts. Apprehension gripped the child nearly as tightly as Willy did. He lowered himself to equal height with the stolen son.
'Are you okay, my boy?'
It took the child a few moments to put their thoughts into actions. 'I'm scared.'
Willy gave him a false childish frown. 'Now, remember what I told you at the park. You wanna see something cool, don't you?'
'I guess so. What is it?'
'I told you.' Willy reminded. 'It's not a surprise if I tell you.'
Willy waited for his victim to return his sincere smile. The child nodded with a faint smile. Willy rose from his feet, entering the home through the remains of a door, the child in tow.
The structure's interior was less than desirable to live in. Light crept through the cracked windows, however, the building was mostly shrouded in darkness. Constant dripping from rain echoed throughout the hollow concrete skeleton.
Willy knelt to the kids' level once more. His smile encompassed half his face, leaving his eyes to overtake the rest with vast pupils hooked on addiction. He removed his hand from the kids' gentle hold, gradually dancing his fingers up the boy's bare arm to his shoulder.
His hand cupped his cheek softly before signing, 'Would you like to see the surprise.'
The boy's breath hastened. His eyes darted from the entrance to around the room, too terrified to make eye contact.
'Hey.' Willy signed, adjusting his body so the child faced him. 'I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. I love you.'
"You mind translating that shit to English?" Levi kept his hood up and his hair down, concealing his face from the two. His basic clothes allowed him to remain unrecognisable. His tone was devoid of emotion.
The unexpected voice caused Willy to jump, in turn scaring the deaf boy who hadn't heard him. "Who the fuck are you!?" he ushered the boy behind him as if he were protecting him. "Fuck off!" Willy ordered but his voice was shaky and his movements unsteady.
Levi dismissed the blonde to focus on the boy. The scared child twisted his head from either man, unsure what to do. In an instant of adrenaline, he ran to the exit situated behind Levi.
A strong hand reached out and grabbed his collar and yanked him back. When he screamed, Willy clamped a hand over his mouth.
Using verbal speech, he said, "No, no, no. You can't go. I love you! I know the truth! I know who you are! I know you're my daughter. My Fine. I lost you and I always knew I'd find you again and now I have. My sweet daughter."
He cradled the shaking boy in his hands. Every passing second was psychologically traumatising. His small weak hands pried at the hand secured around his mouth, making breathing a difficult job.
"I have you back." Willy's sincerely soft smile twisted to that of a scowl. An anger born from loss and delusion. "And I'm never letting you go."
A shoe planted itself on Willy's face, sending the mentally ill man to the ground roughly. Upon his release, the boy ran to the exit with no one stopping him.
"No! No! It's fine! Come bac-!" Levi slammed his foot into Willy's face, silencing him.
"You're sick." Levi insulted, glowering down at him.
He felt his fingers itch. His breathing increased with every new breath. He wasn't in an abandoned building. He wasn't in England but rather Afghanistan. His hoodie and jeans swapped for a camouflage uniform. His gun was on the floor but his hands were drenched with blood.
This time he wasn't late.
Willy tried to talk but Levi kicked his head to the floor. His skull ricocheted off the dirty concrete. Levi straddled him, not giving him a moment to talk before striking his face. And again. And again. Reality got harder to see with every punch he delivered.
He struck him. They were alive.
He heard his nose crack. He'd saved them.
His tooth fell out. He hadn't failed.
"P-ple...please-"
He wouldn't fail them again.
Another person's hand gripped his arm when he pulled back for another strike, easily throwing him off of Willy Tybur. Levi didn't register him. He clambered to his feet to hit him again but was stopped forcefully.
"That's enough!" he could hear them shout but they weren't there.
The tunnel. The echoes. The blood. The laughter. The final gunshot he'd ever make.
A shove brought him to reality with rigid limbs and rapid breaths. The building was abandoned, full of holes again. England, not Afghanistan. He was home. He wasn't there anymore. There weren't any bodies. No one was dead.
"Calm down!" the stranger ordered. Levi finally saw him. A muscular man in a tieless suit. Blonde hair swept back and eyebrows so large they were on the verge of hatching, turning into butterflies. "Whoever the fuck you are! Get out!" the man demanded.
Levi was still coming to grips with actuality. "B-but... he-"
"I know who he is!" he exclaimed. "Now get out before you kill him!"
Levi turned away. His body continued to shake but he complied. Reluctantly, he stepped outside the remnants of the house only to be greeted by grey skies and rain. England. Not Afghanistan.
_______________________________________
He'd left the building but hid at the top of the street, watching as police cars and an ambulance overtook the area. The ambulance came and went in less than a minute. He admired their professionalism but wouldn't judge them if they had taken their time.
The boy had been caught by officers and reunited with his mother. The interaction was sweet for a second before the lectures and shouting were introduced. Levi was more familiar with the latter than family.
The well-kept blonde exited the building, removing a pair of blue latex gloves from his hands. He said nothing to anyone and dumped the gloves in an evidence bag. In doing so, he witnessed Levi watching from a distance. Levi didn't take a step, surprising himself as the officer approached him.
"I'm surprised you're still here." he joked yet was intrigued. "Did you know him?"
Levi didn't say anything. He considered it to be a smart decision, however, he'd chosen to stay and not flee.
"I could arrest you. You gave him one hell of a beating." another serious joke.
"How'd you know what was going on?" Levi spoke.
The blonde looked from Levi to the scene and then back to Levi. "Willy Tybur. Most of his family was murdered a week ago by an intruder. We've been looking for him. A neighbour called in a man leading in a tender age into one of the unsafe structures. Then a man in a grey hoodie went in after. Well, she actually said 'teenager' but I'm sure she meant it as a compliment."
"Should you really be telling me this?" Levi chose to disregard the final comment.
The blonde was still laughing to himself. "I shouldn't be. Here."
Levi accepted the small card handed to him. It was a simple business card with the police symbol in the top corner with information splashed on the opposite side.
"What's this?"
"It's my card. You don't have to tell me your name. But if you ever decide you wanna get your life on track. Give me a call."
Before Levi could reply, the newcomer left to return to the crime scene. No handcuffs and no real reprimand. Levi looked down at the card, reading it over.
'Detective Erwin Smith.'
A number sat beneath it. Levi's first nature told him to toss it. It was a waste of time and he was better off without out. He told himself over and over again. He left the scene and went home, stuffing the card in his pocket.
_______________________________________
Levi concluded the events having kept his personal traumas to himself. Petra sat beside him, hooked on every word he said. A story she hadn't expected to hear nor one she figured would be true kept her gripped. Levi wasn't lying. She could see that much.
"You know why I'm telling you this?" he questioned. She shook her head. "That story is kept under wraps by a handful of people and now you're one of them. You want proof of my commitment to the job? There you go."
She was cut off when a car engine roared past them. Levi checked the device to see a number drastically over the limit. "Buckle up, Ral," he ordered as if he hadn't revealed an intimate detail of his life moments ago.
"What happened to Willy?" she inquired as Levi spun out.
"I told you. I don't get attached."
_______________________________________
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.
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I'll be honest with you lads, this was both a pleasure and downright misery to right. So far it's the only chapter and I started and finished in a day so make of that what you will. I wasn't expecting it to be this long. There was a scene I was going to show at the end with Eren but it felt odd to add, especially after this hell of a chapter.
I figured I'd also mention that Levi having dealt with this situation was teased in Chapter 5 during his talk with Nanaba. Not everything is secretly foreshadowing but keep in mind that some lines share a deep meaning.
Also, I'd say this song has an important connection to the chapter. The song talks about the importance of honesty and being up front in a relationship even if the truth being revealed is uncomfortable. I title some my chapters after writing them to make them less constricting so this was a happy little accident.
Song: Honesty - Billy Joel
Word count: 4476