F L O R E N C E
I have done nothing for five days straight. It started with that one night. I was so sick that I passed out until noon the next day. Then I watched a movie with the boys. I couldn't focus though. My head was still spinning and I was so tired.
I barely made it to dinner before I passed out again, this time cuddling with Lucien on the couch. The following three days were about the same. I was tired, and groggy. Very dizzy too. The difference was that on those three days I was super hungry, I thought I was going to die from starvation. It was the same with water. I was dehydrated.
Yesterday was even worse if that was possible. I was starving, dehydrated, my bladder couldn't hold all the water I was drinking for more than an hour, I was tired, dizzy and then on top of everything else, my stomach began to hurt.
I have spent the past five days switching from my bed to the couch, and then back to my bed. Massimo has been taking time off work to watch over me. Lucien seems to have ditched school, which isn't good considering he needs to graduate or else he will have to do two victory laps of high school. Dominic skips the gym, and his hockey practice to stay by me and to cheer me up. Emilio is about to explode with worry. He hovers over me every ten minutes to check my vitals.
I appreciate all the love.
It's nice being cared for. I trust them. But I still haven't spoken again. Not even to Massimo. I think I just feel too sick and tired to even bother.
Now, I'm on the couch, again. I'm watching some movie Lucien claims is the best movie ever. I say it's mediocre. But who am I to judge?
My stomach aches as if it is being twisted in opposite directions and it doesn't help that I'm so bored.
It's only noon and I have already watched too many movies, received enough brotherly cuddles, and ate far too many muffins that Massimo baked.
I can tell that they have decided to give me some distance. Maybe it was obvious on my face how bad I wanted to be alone.
So, Massimo being the most understanding person ever, sent Lucien and Emilio to work for the afternoon. He made Dominic go to a hockey thing so he is also out of the house. Sitting around all day was affecting them more than me.
Last time I checked Massimo was in his first floor office. He's been doing some work in there for about an hour. He's given me the space I needed. But now I'm not too sure if I even want that.
I feel stronger than I did yesterday but not by much. My cup of water ran out about forty-five minutes ago. I want to call him to help me up, to just do something that isn't sitting on the couch. But, I can't yell louder than a raspy whisper.
I'm so dehydrated that I can't even cry.
Which is frustrating because all I want to do is cry.
This cycle that seems to be my life is getting to be too overwhelming. I was taken from the only people I could call family. Brought to this one hundred year old house that was on the brink of breaking down, with a mom whose more than okay to smoke in the house. I lived ten solid years in a house with yellow nicotine stained walls, broken pieces of beer glasses, burnt out cigarette buds on the charred floor, and little to no food.
I was abused almost everyday. I was hit, punched, stabbed, cut, and poisoned. I did nothing to deserve any of that. I've known that since I turned ten. But I could never understand how no one noticed? I mean, I showed up to school with black eyes, I always looked tired, always had weird cuts or scars, I didn't speak, and I just kept getting skinnier and skinnier until nothing but skin and bones were left.
But then someone somewhere answered my prayers. The people who made my life hell were killed and I returned to my family who I thought wanted nothing to do with me. I had a few great weeks with bumps in the road here and there after realizing that they didn't hate me.
And now I'm here. Everything was going good and now I'm sick. I think I have anxiety, and I can almost guarantee that this mystery illness is not a one and done kind of thing. Maybe it's me overthinking, but there is this voice in my head that's telling me that something is really really wrong.
Not to forget, I was also bullied and told that my family owns and runs illegal businesses. One of them named Mafia. I mean it sounds very illegal so I don't understand why our great grandfather would name his illegal business something really sketchy sounding. I mean if they put up a sign called "Mafia" in the front of the building wherever they work out of, I can almost guarantee someone will look at it and think: "damn that sounds illegal."
Next time I decide to speak to Massimo I'll ask him why grandpa called his illegal business mafia and not something more low key.
But anyways, thoughts like that have just been circling around my head for the past week or so. Mentally I feel fine. Physically I feel like I'm dying.
So now I have to decide if I will just sit and think until Massimo comes to the living room, or somehow make my way over to his office.
Looking at my empty cup of water, I decide to get up now. So I sit up. But I do it way too fast, I get quite dizzy from that. It almost feels like a bowling ball is in my head and it's rolling from side to side. Eventually the bowling ball slows down and then stops. So, once the headache fog has cleared I make the first step to getting to Massimo which is slowly standing up. This time I do it nice and slow. My ankle and knee joints crack from the lack of standing or moving that I have not been doing.
Next step is to do small steps, nice and slow, nice and even. I make it around the couch, not forgetting my blanket that is draped around my shoulders. When I get to the step that goes down into the living room, with all my energy, I lift one foot and then the next until I have made it to the main floor and out of the living room.
The house is quite empty. The long hall of the foyer is silent except for the distant sound of a keyboard typing.
I've made it halfway before I've broke into a cold sweat. Leaning against the wall I try to catch my breath. The walls cool to touch, so I push my right cheek against it.
I can make it to his office, yeah, just like five more steps.
The five steps were agonizing. But I did it and now I'm outside his door. The sound of the clicking of the computer keys makes me heave a relieved sigh. I don't know if I could do any other five steps to the next door.
I knock two times, my arm gets tired before I could do the third knock. The wheels of his chair roll backwards with a loud squeak before fast footsteps reach the door. When the door gets thrown open Massimo immediately crouches down to my height and holds up my swaying body.
He's sporting the same outfit that all four of my brothers have been wearing for the past: a hoodie, sweatpants, and socks with their indoor slides.
I on the other hand, have had to change my outfit twice a day because of how sweaty I get. It's ridiculous.
Massimo is looking me over before he scoops me up into his arms. Naturally as if it's a reflex, I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder.
"What are you doing Florence? You were barely standing. You need to rest." He scolds me while walking around his office. I totally ignore him.
"Florence you could at least nod." He sighs.
"I've rested too much."
"And do you feel any better?"
"No."
"Well then," he sighs. "Why didn't you just call for me?"
"My throats dry." Just saying it reminds me about how sore and raspy my voice actually is.
"So you thought— y'know what, never mind." He sighs, opening the door and walks with me in his arms to what I can only assume is the kitchen.
"M'sorry." I mumble against his shoulder.
"Don't be baby, you're sick." Putting the cup under the water dispenser built into the fridge he feels my forehead. "It's like you have the flu." He sounds unsure of himself.
I shrug. "I hope it goes away soon. I wanna go outside."
"Who says we can't go outside." He smiles. I shrug again.
"I don't know. I thought I had to sit on the couch all day."
"No, we will bundle you up. You'll be nice and toasty and we can sit outside for a bit. I'm surprised you made it this long on the couch."
"I lost my mind yesterday."
"That's okay, I lost my mind years ago." He jokes and I giggle. Handing me the cup I grab it in both my hands and take a few sips before Massimo takes it from me and places it down on the counter.
"Actually, Dominic has a hockey game today. Do you want to go support him?" My ears perk up at the suggestion.
"Really?!" I gush. I've always wanted to do something like this. I have never watched a game before.
"Yes perfect. We can surprise him. It isn't for a few hours. Should we bring Lucien and Emilio?"
Rapidly nodding my head he laughs.
"Well let's go get ready then."
-
"Do you think I'm dressed okay?" I ask Massimo from the backseat of the car. I'm wearing some black cargo pants and Lucien's green sweatshirt that I stole from him. I also stole his beanie. So now I'm wearing that too.
We are picking up Lucien and Emilio from their Mafia building before we go to Dominic's game. I'm in the back because Emilio likes the passenger seat. Also Massimo says I'm too short.
I call bull. I am a staggering five feet tall. M'not short.
"Kid you look beautiful." Massimo smiles at me in the rear view mirror. I smile and look down at my fingers while we wait for the other two to join us in the car. I don't feel beautiful, I look pale like I'm sick and my face looks drained and tired.
"Do you think Dominic will be happy to see us?" I ask.
"Definitely. He will be extra happy seeing that you are there."
Before I can respond the door on the other side of me and the passenger seat door is flown open and both Emilio and Lucien hop in.
"Hey princess," Emilio turns in his seat to face me. He's grinning from ear to ear. "How're you feeling?"
"She's feeling a bit better. She was sick of the couch." Massimo tells him for me. Warmly smiling at me, Emilio reaches over to place a kiss on my forehead.
"I'm glad."
I look over at Lucien and decide I want cuddles. So before Massimo starts up the car I unbuckle my seat belt and scoot into the middle seat. Immediately understanding, Lucien buckles me in and let's me cuddle into his side.
"You look pale baby are you sure you're okay?" He whispers while resting his cheek on top of my head. I nod and hold my fingers up, pinching them together to indicate wordlessly that very little has changed.
I think I'm just going off of adrenaline.
"Okay, just tell me or let me know if you feel sick okay?"
Nodding I rest my head against his chest and watch the cars and house we speed past.
I really hope Dominic is excited to see me.
-
This is just a fill chapter, I'm really excited for the next one. I'll try to have that one updated by Sunday or Monday.
Love you all 🤍