Natasha leans back on her arms, watching everyone around and socializing as they all simmer down from the excitement of the day. Everyone's kind of sectioned themselves off for the time being with Wanda helping Laura with s'mores and the bonfire, Kate and Yelena talking twenty feet away while laying on one of the blankets, and Clint and Lila shooting at the targets (yes, still). Nathan was put to bed a couple of hours ago seeing as it's almost ten o'clock now and Cooper offered to make sure he was safe.
Sam and Bucky come over to sit with her, and Natasha looks between them, trying to figure out if what she's thought is true is actually true.
"So, how was it being dead for two years?" Sam asks, interrupting her train of thought.
Natasha smiles slightly, "It was boring. How about you, Captain America? When'd that happen?"
Sam goes on to explain the whole story of the Flag Smashers and Zemo and John Walker. It feels like a headrush of a story and Natasha's a little blown away by how much happened.
"I'm glad Steve chose you," Natasha says quietly, grief settling itself in her stomach. She still really can't believe that one of her best friends is dead. She sits up, shifting and readjusting herself, "When we came up with everything and checked up on our wills, he asked me if he was making the right decision in choosing you and I knew it was."
Sam smiles sadly, "Thanks, Nat."
"Of course," Natasha replies, "What about you, Bucky? Anything new happen?"
Bucky shakes his head, flexing the fingers of his prosthetic as if to remind himself that it's there, "Just trying to do better."
"Uh huh," Natasha nods, looking at the two of them again. It still doesn't feel like she has enough proof to ask.
Their silence is broken by Wanda walking over and sitting down next to Natasha, "Hi."
"Hey," Natasha smiles as Wanda kisses her cheek.
"How's everything going with you two?" Bucky asks, nodding at how Wanda has an arm wrapped around Natasha's waist and has given Natasha her drink to take a sip from.
"It's good," Natasha replies, handing Wanda her drink back, "We're gonna move to the city for a couple months when Kate and Yelena go back. I probably also will have to come out of hiding, which is just... weird."
"Yeah, I still can't believe you're alive," Sam comments, "When did you... come back?"
"The day after Laura's birthday," Natasha responds, letting Wanda draw open circles on her palm as she talks. Something's obviously off about her if the furrowing of her eyebrows is to say anything. She continues regardless, "I woke up in our house and left so that I could figure out what was going on, only to find out that everyone was staying here. So I left for no fucking reason."
"At least you're here now," Wanda says softly and Natasha squeezes her hand in response.
"Now I get to torture Clint for eternity," Natasha snorts, full-on laughing when Wanda slaps her arm.
The moment is broken by arguing a bit away and Natasha stiffens when she recognizes that it's Kate and Yelena.
"Give me a minute," she stands, walking quickly over to them. She steps between them, "Hey! Calm down."
"I'm very calm," Yelena mutters, glaring at Kate.
"What is the issue?" Natasha hisses, leveling them both hard stares.
"I made a stupid comment," Kate admits softly, looking a bit like a kicked puppy, "I was... I just- it came out wrong, okay? I'm not going to cheat on you, Lena."
"What came out wrong?" Natasha looks at Yelena, very confused. How did this even come up?
"She has a list ," Yelena says, "of people that she'd cheat with and it'd be okay. What does that even mean ? Cheating is not okay!"
Natasha can feel the cogs turning in her brain as she tries to figure out what they're talking about.
"Wait, are you talking about hall passes?" Natasha looks at Kate now, who nods. Natasha looks back at Yelena, "Yelena, she's not actually going to cheat on you."
"She has a list-"
"Which probably should've been brought up before," Natasha puts her hand on Yelena's shoulder, "Did she explain it to you?"
"It's stupid," Yelena insists, crossing her arms.
"It's meant to be kind of stupid," Kate retorts, and Natasha glances at her in an effort to say not the time without having to say it.
"It is stupid," Natasha responds, "but why does it have you so upset? You two love each other and you know she's not actually going to cheat on you."
Yelena presses her lips together, obviously irritated, "I don't have a list."
Natasha glances at Yelena, "You know that you can make one-"
"I don't want a list, Natasha. I don't want to have sex with people and it's bullshit that she has a list of people that she would cheat on me with !"
"Lena, I'm not actually going to cheat on you!" Kate retorts, obviously irritated, "What the hell is this even about, anyway? It was a dumb joke!"
Yelena immediately drops any expressions and looks away, not saying anything. It's quiet for a minute before Kate's expression drops and she looks more apologetic than anything.
"Natasha, can you leave us alone for a minute please?" Kate asks, a pleading look in her eyes.
Natasha looks at Yelena, making sure she's okay before she walks away. Yelena's still stone-faced, but she nods at Natasha.
"Clama, si quid opus est," Natasha says softly, and Yelena nods. (Yell if you need anything.)
"Quid aliud facerem?" Yelena responds, a smirk cracking on to her face. (What else would I do?)
"Stultum aliquid," Natasha replies before walking back over to Wanda. Sam and Bucky are now over with the others around the bonfire and roasting marshmallows. (Something stupid.)
"What's going on with them?" Wanda asks, opening her arms for Natasha. Natasha sits down, letting Wanda wind her arms around her waist and keeping a careful eye on Yelena and Kate.
"They're arguing about Kate having a list for her hall pass," Natasha says quietly, enjoying the way that Wanda's slid her hands under her t-shirt and is now rubbing at her belly, "I don't know why it's riling Yelena up so much, but... I don't know. They'll work it out, I hope."
"Are you saying that you ship them?" Wanda asks and Natasha doesn't have to look at her to know she's smirking. It's been a longtime joke about shipping between them, Natasha insisting that shipping's stupid and Wanda insisting that it's fun.
"I didn't say anything like that," Natasha replies, smiling when Wanda lightly pokes at her stomach to get her to admit it.
"Lean into it, Tasha, it's fun," Wanda purs against her ear, sending a welcome chill down Natasha's spine. She deflects, though, still watching Kate and Yelena talk and trying to read their lips, even though it's practically impossible with the lack of light.
"Have you started looking at apartments?" Wanda asks softly, fingers still tracing Natasha's stomach and following small scars.
"Not too much," Natasha admits softly, "Do you think they're gonna get over it?"
"They'll be fine, dorogoy," Wanda says, readjusting her legs beneath Natasha so they're now outlining Natasha's, "We could always just stay at the tower."
"The tower doesn't have our stuff anymore, though," Natasha replies, turning her head so she can see Wanda's face. She thinks that if she tries to decode Yelena and Kate's argument any further her head is going to explode. "And I really don't want to live with Tony again. He's so much."
"Alright, so a place alone," Wanda's hand finds Natasha's most prominent scar on her stomach and she quickly moves her hand away, "high up or closer to the ground?"
"Closer to the ground," Natasha responds, sucking in a breath when Wanda runs over a developing bruise on her ribcage, "With a garage."
"I don't know where you're going to find a garage in New York City, Nat," Wanda responds, moving her hands to the tops of Natasha's thighs and gently massaging them, "Maybe a parking garage, but not a personal one."
"That's fine," Natasha says, fully resting her weight against Wanda now and pressing her forehead against Wanda's neck. God, how she missed Wanda in the five years. She doesn't know how she ever lived without this.
"Okay," Wanda traces the light barely-visible scars along Natasha's thighs, "Close to the ground, parking garage, where in the city?"
Natasha's quiet, fully enjoying the comfort of the moment and not really wanting to think about where they're going to live anymore. Now is enough, the future is something that they can solve later.
"Tasha," Wanda says softly, bringing her out of her momentary bliss, "C'mon, stay with me. Just a couple more questions and we can go back to the house and sleep."
"I'm comfy," Natasha whines, pulling away slightly and glaring at Wanda when her hands still, resting on her thighs. Wanda fixes her with a look back, and Natasha only furrows her eyebrows.
"How are you a world-class assassin when you're practically ready to beg me for cuddles right now?" Wanda asks, a playful look on her face.
"You're being mean," Natasha sits up fully now, completely broken out of her happy place, "can we please figure out our apartment stuff on another day? It's the Fourth, lyubov."
Wanda snorts, "You are such a badass."
Natasha glares at her, "I hate you."
"Sure you do," Wanda retorts in the same mocking voice, laughing when Natasha leans in to kiss her. She quickly reciprocates and they pull away after a minute, panting with large smiles on their faces.
"Я тебя люблю," Natasha whispers.
"Я тоже люблю тебя, дорогой."
-
"Is this about your..." Kate doesn't want to say it. She doesn't want to believe that a stupid joke made her girlfriend this insecure. She never meant for that.
Yelena's quiet, and if Kate hadn't spent the last - jesus, seven months?- with her, she wouldn't be able to read the subtle sadness on her girlfriend's face.
"Babe," Kate tries to reach out, but she sees Yelena stiffen and immediately retracts, "I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have said anything. It was insensitive and... I love you. I love our relationship and I wouldn't trade it for anything, you have to believe me."
"No, it's fine," Yelena says emptily with a small shrug, "You have needs , I guess. Needs I don't have. I shouldn't be mad at you for wanting that."
"That's not it, though, Lena," Kate replies, "I don't need any of that. I get by fine by my-" she bites down on her tongue, hard, "I'm happy in this relationship, Lena. I promise. I'm so in love with you and like I told you when we started dating, your sexuality doesn't... put a damper on anything, if that makes sense. I kind of feel like I'm talking out of my ass right now so if you want me to stop just say the word."
"I wouldn't blame you if you... wanted that," Yelena says carefully, obviously holding something back, "It's hard. I'm not going to ask you to stay if that's something you need."
Kate feels like someone's pulling at the membrane of her heart as she processes Yelena's words, "Yelena. I don't need sex. It's nice, yeah, but it's not something I need out of a relationship. I love you and that's what I need."
"Then why make the comment, Kate?" Yelena suddenly outbursts, some look in her eyes that Kate can't quite decipher.
"I don't know. I don't... I don't know," Kate's stomach drops, finally recognizing the look as heartbreak, "It was stupid, okay? I'll never bring it up again. The last thing in the world that I want is for you to think you're not enough, Lena, okay? You're so... I'm so in love with you, detka, and you have always been and will always be enough for me, okay?"
Yelena's silent, but she nods slowly, "Okay."
"I'm sorry," Kate says quietly, emotion swirling in her chest that she's willing doesn't come out. She doesn't deserve to cry over this.
"Should I still manage my expectations about Natasha?" Yelena asks softly, and Kate has to swallow a sob. How did she strike out so hard today?
"No," Kate swallows, trying to regain any control over herself, "Normal expectations for a person. She's... she's got your back."
Kate can't help but wonder who's got her back (aside from maybe Lucky), and a sick feeling bubbles in her gut when she draws a blank.
Sure there are the Bartons, but they met Natasha first. And Yelena is Natasha's sister, so they'd have her back before hers. And her mom's in prison, so no dice. Maybe Peter? He's going to MIT, though, how will he have her back if he's there? And her dad's dead. Maybe Jack, but they haven't exactly kept in contact aside from stray pleasantries.
At least Yelena has an army. She deserves it.
"Okay," Yelena says slowly, nodding, "I think that everyone's around the campfire. I go."
And she leaves, and Kate breathes, feeling like a weight was lifted off of her chest. But tension still lingers in the air and she kind of just wants to curl into a ball and cry.
She's the one that messed up, though, so she swallows it all down, and goes to make herself some s'mores.
It's the Fourth of July, after all.
-
the next book in this series is "rain is always gonna come" and i'll upload it eventually - but not tonight i do not have the will lmao
anyway i hope you enjoyed this lil story :)