➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳
Dove sat on her bed, analysing President Coin's words repeatedly. How could she send her and Peeta to the Capitol when they were so unstable? Sure, she wanted to go and was initially mad when she heard they wouldn't let them go.
We're talking about how people's lives are on the line. If Peeta gets triggered, he could attack Katniss or anyone else in the squad . . . And if he does, I'll probably get triggered too, and I might either attack someone or cause my own death. Why would Coin want that to happen? Losing the Mockingjay and Rebels' Songbird just like that . . . No, it's not just that, is it? Dove thought, getting up from her bed to walk around the halls.
No, it can't be just that. Katniss' life was indeed important . . . until she did her job. She was meant to unify the districts. Only that. She has served her purpose. Nothing else guarantees her life now. But, if Coin is recording everything that's happening with the victor's squad, it means there's still a need for her, right? But what else could Katniss do to inspire the people? What has she not done until now? As she continued wondering about the many possibilities, a door in front of her opened, letting her face the peace of the Hummingbird's room at night.
"Prim? What are you doing here so late?" Dove asked, approaching the little girl who was staring at some flowers. She crouched down next to her, looking straight at the flowers as she heard Prim sigh.
"I can't sleep. I'm so worried about Katniss," Prim replied, hugging her arms above her knees while trying to bury her face in the gap. "You must be here for the same, right? Finnick, Melo, Johanna, I'm worried about them, too. I don't want them to die."
Die . . . If they die, they'll be . . . a martyr! That's what Coin wants, isn't it? That's the only thing that could drive soldiers even wilder. The Mockingjay, a sweet seventeen-year-old girl, who went to the Hunger Games twice. Had supposedly lost her baby. And had fought by their side. How tragic would her death be? How many people would take her as an example to keep fighting? But . . . Why would this help Coin apart from riling up the troops? Dove wondered, wrapping an arm over Prim's shoulders while trying to shake her thoughts away for a bit.
"They'll be OK, Prim. I'll make sure of that. President Coin has notified Peeta and me that we will go with them. None of them will die under my watch," she promised, rubbing Prim's back comfortingly before getting up. "Come, I'll walk you to your compartment. Your mother must be worried out of her mind."
"Do the rest know that you're going?" Prim asked halfway to her compartment, which caused Dove to sigh in frustration.
"No. I tried to tell them, but I couldn't. I'll do it tomorrow for sure, though. When your family has seen you go to the Hunger Games twice . . . it's not information one should keep away from them," Dove said softly, squeezing her upper arm to hold on to reality. "Will you come to say goodbye?"
"Yes!" Prim answered decisively, just as they arrived at her compartment's door. "Then, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Dove."
"Goodnight, Prim," she replied, watching as the child entered her room before turning in her own compartment's direction. A martyr, huh? Then, will I be that too? If Katniss is supposed to die in Peeta's hands, am I supposed to kill myself during one of my panic attacks? Or is Coin hoping that one of those pods will kill me? What would she do then? She would have lost both faces of the rebellion. . . the faces of the rebellion! That's it. Not everybody acknowledges Coin as the President or whatever of the rebellion. If Katniss and I are out of the question, she has all the spotlight to herself.
Dove sat again on her bed, taking her songbook to write one last song. Her thoughts always seemed to get clearer whenever she wrote songs. It was as if a puzzle got completed in front of her. What if Coin's plan failed? If Katniss and I don't die, what would her next move be? I guess she will want to be President of the future Panem . . . but it'll be difficult if Katniss and I don't go along. If we publicly support another candidate, it could mean people could trust our judgement and support them too. Katniss doesn't do as she's told, and I don't really listen on the regular. So what would it be a good way to keep us in check?
Her pen was stuck in the middle of the page, not moving as it waited for inspiration. But she was lost. Whenever she thought she was close to understanding Coin, the more the answer confused her. What if this wasn't Coin? What if I had to deal with Snow? He has failed to kill me, so now he needs me to keep my mouth shut. What would that something be? . . . Family. The only reason all this started. Our sisters. Angel and Prim. I even have my brother, best friend, and husband on the battlefield. Kill one of them and I'll go berserk. I'll demand vengeance. I won't care who can give it to me while they do.
"Angel . . ." Dove muttered, hugging her knees after leaving the songbook opened by her side. She couldn't let her die. She never could. That's why she had gone to the Hunger Games, to begin with. To save Angel's life, she could go to any extent. And Coin knew that perfectly well.
"What do you mean you're going to the Capitol!? Just a few days ago, the head doctor said you needed more time before taking the exam again," Angel pointed out at breakfast. Everyone around the table was shocked, to say the least. Ron, who hadn't been allowed into a squad after a light injury on his wrist during the last part of the exam, got up from the table, saying he would go get Coin's approval to let him go as well.
"Dad, sit the hell down," Dove commanded. Her voice was much more serious than usual, surprising their family's new auditions, Prim, Peeta and Delly. "Peeta and I depart after dinner. Don't do anything that could get you killed. As you should know by now, anyone that's near Katniss and me has a high chance of getting themselves killed. Even the most innocent." She added, giving Angel a quick glance towards Prim, hoping she would understand, which she somewhat did as she replied with a nod.
"So . . . what? We have to smile and wave you goodbye while you go risk your life again?" Annie said, frowning her eyebrows. "Sure, it might not be the front line, but it's still dangerous. Things can always go wrong. You want us to sit and wait, hoping you come back? Last time we did, you got taken by the Capitol!" Her rant had left her breathless, but not only that. It had also stunned everyone around.
Annie wasn't the type to get angry, let alone yell. Dove had always thought it was part of her friend's nature, but now she wasn't so convinced. Maybe anyone could snap at some point, even the kindest. Peeta had done it too. Who knew, perhaps one day Delly and Prim would, too.
"Then, Annie, what do you want me to do? Sit still? When my husband, my brother and my best friend are there? When Prim's sister is there? When Peeta is going to be sent? Either way, it didn't look like we were allowed to refuse. Puppets rarely get that privilege," she answered in a calm tone, although her eyes were unwaveringly staring at Annie, who lowered her head slightly.
"Just make sure this time you come back safe and sound. I won't allow you to be just alive. We should be living, not surviving," Annie said, reaching through the table to grab a hold of Dove's hand, which she squeezed comfortingly.
"Sending you and Peeta to a battlefield . . . What on Panem is Coin thinking?" Muscida wondered out loud, looking at Mags, who seemed as lost as she was.
"Well, what would two mentally unstable people do on a battlefield?" Rhett dropped the bomb as if it weren't much. As if he hadn't revealed the main point of Coin's plan in front of his family while outsiders could hear. Two mentally unstable people, without considering they had been hijacked, wouldn't have much use on a battlefield, except for one thing. Get triggered and inevitably lose it.
Now, if they counted that Peeta had been hijacked to fear Katniss, and almost attacked her, what he would do if he lost it was very clear. Nevertheless, if Dove lost it, the person who had been hijacked to be frightened of herself, there wasn't much that could happen. She would die or kill herself on the spot.
"Do you mean to say . . ." Theo trailed off, grasping his husband's hand to make sure it wasn't one of his many inappropriate jokes. Only, this time it wasn't a joke, which made things more difficult for who had understood to let Peeta and Dove go to the Capitol.
"I'll fucking kill her," Librae spat, getting Ron's and Dove's attention. "How dares she? What right does she have?" She clenched her fists and teeth, driving more and more attention towards her.
"Mum," Dove warned, shaking her head dismissively. "No one is killing anyone. I need you to take care of each other while I watch over the rest. Someone will have to make sure they don't do something stupid."
"Like going to the Capitol knowing what could happen?" Angel commented under her breath, resting her head on top of Annie's.
"Since when are you so passive-aggressive?" Dove questioned with a snicker, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"I've spent a fair amount of time with Melo and Finnick over the last few months. It's rubbing off on me," Angel replied.
Time was an intriguing concept. Sometimes, it passed so slowly that it seemed to mock her. Others. It passed so fast; it made Dove feel as if she wasn't appreciating it properly. That day, as if just five minutes had passed, Dove and Peeta were saying their goodbyes to the family, promising to be back soon.
"Look after Prim. I don't trust Coin one bit. She's the only thing that could break Katniss. Make sure she stays in Thirteen. Doesn't matter what you hear or see. Don't go to the Capitol. None of you," Dove whispered against Angel's shoulder while they hugged.
"I'll keep it in mind. You too, be careful," Angel whispered back, rubbing her little sister's back.
"As if I had ever been careful," she commented teasingly, sighing as she let go of the embrace. "I promise to at least try."
After saying goodbye to everyone, Dove and Peeta hopped on the hovercraft, staring outside as the doors closed. Everyone was waving to them, but they couldn't see them waving back. As Thirteen became further away, the two sat down on the floor and waited until they arrived.
The reaction to seeing Peeta was hostile. For reasonable justifications. Dove walked up to him, showing herself to the 451 squad, which by now the confusion was palpable in the air. Boggs took the weapons away from them before walking away to make a call.
"It won't matter," Peeta told everyone, glancing at Dove for a split second before directing his eyes back at the squad. "The president assigned us herself. She decided the propos needed some heating up."
"And she sends you two? What is wrong with that woman?" Melo pointed out, walking closer to his sister, who was already engulfed in Finnick's arms. "Dove, what's the real reason?"
"If you can't figure it out by now, there's nothing I can do," Dove answered calmly, patting Finnick's back reassuringly.
"It's not a big secret. Dove tried to kill herself and Peeta almost attacked Katniss. She wants them dead. Out of the picture, if you prefer euphemisms." Johanna commented loudly, crossing her arms in front of her chest while ignoring the claims from her fellow soldiers. "You better not try to do anything stupid again, or I'll take lover boy over here away from you."
"My brother? Yes, please. Marry him if you want, too," Dove said mockingly, raising her eyebrows as Johanna looked away with a slight blush on her face. "Oh, I hit the bullseye. Who would've thought? Why can't I have this luck with archery, though?"
"I told you not to do anything stupid. And what do you do?" Finnick said, letting go of her to look into her eyes.
"Something stupid," she commented with a grin.
"Something stupid," he affirmed with an exasperated sigh. "Guess I should've seen it coming. You never stay put."
"And miss all the fun? No way in hell. Either way, Peeta and I had no choice. It seemed our good President Coin was too interested in having us here that she forgot what consent is," Dove told everyone, glancing at Katniss, who still had a precautionary distance between her and Peeta.
When Boggs came back from the call, he seemed angry. Angrier than what anyone had ever seen him be. His first move was telling his second in command, Soldier Jackson, to set up a two-person, round-the-clock guard on Peeta. After that, he took Katniss away from the group, leading her to a wall far behind where they chatted.
"Should I feel offended they did not consider me dangerous enough to have guards twenty-four seven around me?" Dove whispered to Peeta, who snickered at her comment as he shook his head.
"No. I guess they don't really need you to have a guard with Mr Protective Husband over there," Peeta commented, pointing with his head at Finnick, who had a firm grip on her hand while talking with Melo and Johanna about how they could watch over her.
"Yes. Mr Protective Husband. Mr Protective Brother, and his wife, Mrs Protective Sister-in-law." Dove teased, watching as Boggs and Katniss joined the group again.
Dove followed Finnick into a tent, which she would share with him, while Melo helped Peeta arrange his own. "What time is my watch?" They heard Katniss ask, surely, to Soldier Jackson, who was the one in charge of assigning the watch schedule.
"I didn't put you in the rotation," Jackson answered. Finnick and Dove left the tent to watch what was going on. It seemed that neither Peeta nor her presence was needed to create hostility between the squad.
"Why not?" Katniss asked.
"I'm not sure you could really shoot Peeta if it came to it," she replied, causing Dove to stand still in front of the tent. Shoot Peeta? No, they can't. She thought, gripping onto Finnick's soldier suit to not lose it.
"I wouldn't be shooting Peeta. He's gone. Johanna's right. It'd be just like shooting another of the Capitol's mutts." Katniss answered, which caused Dove's confusion to turn into anger.
"Just like shooting another of the Capitol's mutts, huh? Do you mean like me?" She muttered bitterly, walking to Peeta to help him with his tent while Boggs forced Jackson to allow Katniss into the rotation. "If she's in a rotation, put me with her. Well, it doesn't really matter since I'll stay awake, anyway. For your information, I'm not letting any of you shoot Peeta. You'll have to put a bullet through my skull first."
"Aren't you the one that tried to commit suicide?" Jackson questioned with a disdainful look. Obviously, no one would trust an unstable, suicidal person to take care of another. What Jackson didn't know was that caring for Peeta was exactly what drove her back to sanity. It made Dove forget and concentrate on other things, which, in her condition, helped a lot.
"Yes, I am. Got a problem? Oh, are you afraid I'll do it myself? I guess that wouldn't be too fun for you, would it? Since you seem to enjoy killing your own squad members," Dove commented with a clear tone of hatred.
"Dove, that's enough," Finnick said calmly, taking her hands to distract her from her heated conversation with Jackson.
"Midnight to four. Katniss and you are on with me." Jackson announced, crossing her arms in front of her chest just as the dinner whistle sounded.
At the canteen, everyone sat together to eat in a tense circle. "I have never been prouder of you in my entire life. Where in the hell did you get that bitterness from? Wow, that snap was worthy of watching." Johanna praised while they ate.
"Did you miss the part where she told everyone to kill her if they wanted to shoot Peeta?" Melo, who sat next to Peeta, questioned with a confused look.
"I did not. That was a powerful move. Stupid. For sure. But powerful," Johanna answered, looking at Melo as Dove disconnected from their conversation.
"Sorry, I got quite angrier earlier. I just . . . I couldn't have them talk about Peeta like that. I'll try to control myself from now on," Dove whispered to Finnick, holding his hand under the table as they ate.
"We both know you'll snap again as soon as someone says something bad about Peeta, or they try to harm him in any way. It's OK. Just try not to put yourself in the middle like that. If something were to happen to you . . . I would go berserk." Finnick commented, squeezing her hand comfortingly before continuing to eat silently.
It was nighttime and almost everyone was in their tents or sleeping around the heater in their sleeping bags. Katniss tapped Dove's shoulder, who was looking at Peeta and Finnick talking by her side, and asked her to come to her tent.
"I'm sorry. About what I said earlier. I freaked out at the sight of him and didn't think my words through. I don't blame him anymore, though. They hijacked the two of you. You're not at fault for the actions you almost committed," Katniss said, looking at Dove with shame.
Dove sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry as well. I overreacted earlier. Look Katniss, I know you must be confused and scared, but Peeta and I . . . we're not any better. I'm not sure how it was for him when he almost attacked you. But, for me, when I was holding those scissors . . . It was as if I had lost myself. As if someone else had taken over my body. I'm not sure if you have noticed, but I'm frightened whenever I'm close to scissors ever since then. He might feel the same with you. Every time he sees you, he might fear losing himself again."
"He might. That's what Coin wants. He wants me dead by Peeta's hands," Katniss commented, shocking Dove.
"You know?" She asked in a surprised tone. "Oh, well, I guess it was quite obvious. Well, welcome to the squad. I'm not here for any better reason than to die. I don't worry about that so much, though. I'm more scared of what she could do if I do not go along with her plan. This is much worse than with Snow. She has half of my family in Thirteen, days away from here, and the other half is with me on the fucking battlefield. I have to give credit to Coin for that. She's smart."
"What do you mean, 'what she might do'?" Katniss asked nervously.
"You haven't thought about that yet? Well, Katniss, newsflash, Coin is just like President Snow, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. Now tell me, what was the one thing Snow always threatened us with? What is the only thing that could break us? The only reason we've been fighting for since the beginning?" Dove told her with a tone that varied from cocky to serious.
Katniss took a few seconds to process the information but shortly widened her eyes in realisation. "My sister." She whispered, looking at Dove in search of confirmation. "Prim and Angel . . . but Angel is an important strategist in Thirteen."
"Did that ever stop Snow? Finnick told me. He revealed all Snow's crimes when they were rescuing us, didn't he? You must have heard everything. Colleagues, friends, enemies. The war's ending, Katniss. Angel is disposable. And if Angel or I die. How would that leave the rest of my family? If Prim died, how would that affect you?"
"Broken . . . we'd be submissive. I wouldn't care who became president or not. I would just want to go back home. Probably I would not even want to continue living. Not without my sister." Katniss muttered, looking at the ground as if it had all the answers.
"You don't have to worry, though. I've made sure she's being looked after by my family. I just ask of you to help me maintain the four idiots that have come with us alive. If Peeta dies, you won't forgive yourself and neither will I. If Finnick dies, I'm telling you I won't live much longer after that. And if Melo or Johanna die, I'll go berserk." Dove affirmed, not showing the slightest doubt about what she was saying. "Now, will you help me keep them alive? I'll look after that cousin of yours, too. Gale, right?"
Katniss nodded, convinced at Dove's proposal. "It will be difficult to keep five people alive with so many pods around."
"I guess we better not fight anymore and concentrate on our mission, then," Dove commented with her teasing tone back. "Come on, I'm pretty sure it's midnight. Our turn to watch over Peeta."
The two crawled out of Katniss' tent. Katniss positioned herself near the heater while Dove sat next to Peeta, who was practising knots with a short rope. One that Dove and Katniss knew very well. It was Finnick's. Jackson, who sat on the other side of the heater, watched closely Dove and Peeta, ready for anything that could happen.
"The last couple of years must have been exhausting for you. Trying to decide whether to kill me or not. Back and forth. Back and forth." Peeta spoke up, surprising the three, who were the only ones supposedly awake apart from him.
"I never wanted to kill you. Except when I thought you were helping the Careers kill me. After that, I always saw you as . . . an ally." Katniss answered, clearly trying not to step on any imaginary landmines that could trigger him.
"Ally," Peeta repeated slowly. "Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancée. Target. Mutt. Neighbour. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out . . . The problem is, I can't tell what's real anymore, and what's made up."
Finnick raised from a bundle in the shadows, walking closer to Dove without caring to fake sleeping anymore. "Then you should ask, Peeta. That's what Dove does."
"Ask who? Dove doesn't know the answers herself, and she's the only one I can trust," Peeta questioned, looking at Finnick with a straight face.
"Well, we're your squad. You can start with us." Jackson said.
"You're our guards," Peeta pointed out, causing Dove to nod along with his statement.
"That, too," affirmed Jackson. "But you two saved a lot of lives in Thirteen. It's not the kind of thing we forget."
He stayed silent, looking at the ground in search of any questions he could ask them. Dove, who was now in between Finnick and Peeta, grasped her husband's hand while their attention was focused on the boy.
Hours passed, and mere minutes before four, Peeta turned to Katniss and asked. "Your favourite colour . . . it's green?"
➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳➳