I do not Own Rwby nor Warhammer 40,000
Man... Am happy that your all enjoying this... I'll be taking a break... And uh...
Oh yeah Heresy Divergent... You can go read that... And uh yeah... Have fun
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"So... You lied to us..." Yang said
"Too be fair... I was kind of confused..." Apollo said
"You said four.. not five..." Weiss replied back
"Yeah well we get mistakes- can we just watch the final episode?" Apollo said with the group nodding
"Sure go ahead..."
[Terra burning with roaring flames, a storm of sparks, and the grim tone of a bell]
[Valjeanus tenderly kisses the forehead of a deceased woman. than suddenly -]
Javerticus: ♫Valjeanus, at last! We see each other plain. Magos Techenicus, You'll wear a different chain! ♫
The group covered there ears in pain
"What on Terra?" Nora said
[Javerticus pulls up a clothes hanger with a chainmail bra]
Valjeanus: ♫ Before you say another word, Javerticus. Before you burn me like a heretic, listen to me, there's something I must do~ ♫
"Is it wrong that I actually like this?" Ruby said with Yang shakes her head no
[Javerticus leans closer glaring]
Valjeanus: ♫ This woman leaves behind a suffering child, there is none but me who can intercede. In the Emperor's name, three days is all I need~ ♫
[Javerticus glares harder, and Valjeanus stands solemnly]
Valjeanus: ♫ Then I'll return, I'll pledge my word. Then I'll return- ♫
[Javerticus takes a breath and slowly raises his sword to-]
Javerticus: ♫ I've hunted you across the years! Heretics like you can never change! Heretiiiiiiiics such as you!~ ♫
[Suddenly javerticus gets Runs over]
Elirush: MOVE IT BITCH!
The group chuckled at the scene
[Javerticus doesn't move after the morons left. Valjeanus stands for a moment...then bolts.]
[Transition to the Imperial court]
Fyodor: Emperor damn it all. Not a single useful subject has been found yet. Don't they understand that sitting around here is incredibly boring? It's like being in a retirement home!
"Than maybe help your men?" Nora said
"Maybe he doesn't want his hands dirty Nora..." Ren Replied to Nora
Dominique: Hey! Hey, Fyodor! Isn't it Boring around here? Like, incredibly boring?
Jaune chuckled a bit
Fyodor: (Annoyed Inquisitorial Grunt) Be quiet, Dominique! That's what I just said.
Dominique: No, that's what I just said! You know what would be fun? Letting me sit on your throne! I've always dreamed of being up on that throne with all the...(Uncomfortable Breathing) fun things I can do up there...
Weiss, Blake and Yang cringed at Dominique
"Why am I reminded by the... Custodians..." Ren said uneasy
Fyodor: I said QUIET!...You're giving me a headache.
CM: No! You be quiet!
MA: Uuh, can someone feed the goat so he quiets down? We're trying to do important High Lord things here.
Weiss looked at the Master of Administratum with sheer rage "important? important?! You have been talking about poo, Banning food and letting the inquisition burn the capitol? How is that important?!"
With that little rant Weiss dropped down unconscious
"...is she okay?" Ruby asked Blake
Blake shrugged "maybe..."
GP: SHUT UP LITTLE BILLY! Now, to the business at hand. Wuw...What were we discussing? I think it was something relating to banning the breathing of air...from anyone that is not us. Air is one of the few natural resources left here on Terra, and if all the 'normals' use it, there will be none left for us!
The group groaned at the Council's stupidity
FG: Requirement of air is only another reason to replace your lungs with circuits.
CM: Well, I'm not sure...My Generals need to breathe as well as to make command of whatever it is they are communicating again, and I don't think they can do that very well without air...
MA: Why I usually seem to generate currents of air right before I have to poo.
"Eugh..." Yang said
"Please... Let this end..." Ruby Begged
GP: Wait...Isn't breathing important? I don't remember...I'm gonna lay down...
Fyodor: (Frustrated Inquisitorial Moan) I should just go out there and find this heretic myself...
"Finally!" Everyone said
Elirush: Fyodor! We have urgent news!
Dominique: Oh hey, are you the guys I sent to buy my sandpaper cigarettes? I really need my fix of nicotine and throat lacerations. How else do you think I sound so calm and sexy?
Nora tilted "sand paper... Cigarettes?"
Fyodor: (Inquisitorial sighing)
What is it that you want...? Don't you three have some sewers to investigate?
Donklas: We were confronted by three Custodes while...interrogating some citizens.
Fyodor: Custodes? You are joking with me, are you not? The Custodes never leave the Imperial Palace!
"Not anymore..." Ruby said
Adrielle: They were right there though. And the Custodes told us that the Emperor really is the one who sent the message.
"This isn't gonna end well..." Blake said with Ren and Yang nodding
Fyodor: In the name...of a thousand DEAD. FUCKING. HERETICS. ARE YOU SAYING!?
Elirush: The Custodes are the heretics we are looking for!
"And quick to conclusions will make you guys the heretics..." Pyrrha commented
Fyodor: Well in THAT case, we are all walking STRAIGHT into the imperial palace, and taking those mutant exhibitionists with us!
[Decius stomps in stopping Fyodor]
Fyodor: Hold your mecha-chairs for just a moment Inquisitor! What do you think you are doing!?
"Yes!!" Nora said out loud
Fyodor: (Very frustrated Inquisitorial noise)
Not you!
[Transitions to the throne room]
"Aw..." Nora said sadly wanted to see the action itself
Emperor: STOP STANDING AROUND THERE ALL SILENT AND DEAD LIKE AN UNPLUGGED FUCKING MECHANICUS ADEPT, AND TELL ME WHO THESE SPACE MARINES ARE. THIS ANTICIPATION IS FOR SOME REASON KILLING ME. THEN AGAIN...I'M A DECAYING CORPSE. SO THAT MIGHT ALSO BE A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
Kitten: Well, they are renowned in the Imperium for stealing alot of relics from both other chapters and factions within the Imperium. It's not really known how they do it or exactly why, but they have somehow managed to amass an astounding amount of wargear due to this.
The group made a 'Whoa' sound
Pyrrha turned to Apollo "what kind of equipment do they have?"
"Last I remember... A custodian armour, a weapon from the Primarch of the Iron Hands, and I believe a Gun of a Chaos marine..." Apollo said from his archives revealing forgebreaker, a custodian armor similar to kitten and a chaos weapon complete with Symbols of chaos
"Ooohhh..." Ruby said her eyes sparkling
Emperor: SO WHAT ARE THEY CALLED?
Kitten: I believe they are called...the...th...b...Uuum...Something. Actually I don't remember.
Emperor: WAY TO FUCKING GO DILDO HEAD. YOU JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF STUPID. THE DISAPPOINTING KIND OF STUPID."
COME TO THINK OF IT. DID YOU SAY CHAPTER? AS IN ONLY A SINGULAR CHAPTER WITHIN AN ENTIRE LEGION IS GOOD AT THIS?
"So the Legio Astartes?" Blake said
"Yep... But the codex changed that also I may have said things wrong..." Apollo said turning to Blake "remember I said thousands of troops within the Chapter?"
"Yeah?"
"It's one Thousand troops strong... So I was wrong there..." Apollo said with Blake nodded than rewritten the Chapter numbers
Kitten: Oh no no, my Lord. They are not a part of any Legion!
Emperor: WHY THE FUCK WOULD THERE EVER EXIST A SINGLE CHAPTER OUTSIDE OF A LEGION?
Kitten: Well you see, seven years after the Horus Heresy, an event took place known as the Second Founding.
Emperor: THE SECOND FOUNDING? OH MAN...THIS ALREADY SOUNDS AS UNNECESSARY AS THE DARK ELDAR. WASN'T THE NAMED 'ONLY FOUNDING' GOOD ENOUGH?
"It was originally called the Great Founding before the Second founding began..." Apollo explained
"Ooooh" the group said
Kitten: Actually, I think the name was changed to the First Founding after they came up with the second one.
Emperor: REALLY? WOW! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE EXCESS OF STUPID.
"Not the exact words I would have used to describe it..." Ren said
Kitten: Aaaaanyway...The Primarch of the Ultramarines, Roboute Guilliman-
Emperor: MY SINGULAR CYBERNETIC EYE JUST DETECTED A LARGE RISE IN IGNORANCE AND HUBRIS IN THIS ROOM FROM THE MERE MENTION OF THAT NAME.
Yang and Blake sighed a bit
"You know... After hearing the Ultramarines, they're ego, they're burning of Monarchia... And having a hundred worlds... I get why the Emperor hates him..." Blake said
"Well it could help that the emperor is shattered into pieces... This is just an honest version and probably the darkest piece within the Emperor" Apollo explained
"Huh..." Yang said
Kitten: -Created the Codex Astartes which is a set of rules and guidelines that nowadays is used by thousands of Space Marine Chapters throughout the galaxy.
[Dramatic music]
Emperor: THOUSANDS?
(Sparks and thunderous Emperor based Warp Pissed Offery)
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
"Oh boy..." Pyrrha said sweating a bit
"I don't think our emperor here doesn't like the current status of the Astartes..." Blake said
Suddenly Weiss wakes up "whu- what?"
"Best buddy!" Ruby said as she hugged Weiss with her Rolling her eyes a bit
Kitten: The Codex Astartes became the foundation for a Second Founding as Guilliman decreed that all Legions still loyal were to split up and organized into armies consisting of roughly ten Companies each. One of these Chapters were to retain their parent Legion's original name, symbol and color scheme, while the others could basically go and do whatever they wanted with that.
Emperor: SO NOW WE'VE GOT FUCKING ULTRAMARINE BABIES SPREAD OUT ACROSS THE GALAXY. ALL SECLUDED FROM THE REST OF THE IMPERIUM TO FORM THEIR OWN BELIEFS, DOGMAS, AND HATREDS INSPIRED BY THE ORIGINAL WHICH WAS ALREADY AN ENORMOUS PILE OF STUPID TO BEGIN WITH. SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU ACTIVELY TRYING TO MAKE MY UNLIFE EVEN MORE DIFFICULT?
Kitten: Euuuhm...well...
Emperor: IN ADDITION, THIS DUMB BOOK HAS SPLIT UP THE IMPERIUM'S MIGHTY BULWARK, AND MADE IT INTO A ROTTEN PICKET FENCE THAT EVEN A SMALL CHILD COULD BREAK DOWN. WHAT MADE YOU PEOPLE THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?
"I mean true Enough..." Weiss said agreeing with the Emperor
Kitten: But my Lord! Guilliman's intentions were noble! He recognized that in order for something like the Horus Heresy to not ever be possible again, the massive Marine armies should be separated and spread out.
Emperor: AND NOW THE XENO ACTIVITY IS MORE RAMPANT THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY THAN EVER. PERHAPS IF GUILLIMAN'S HEAD WASN'T STUCK SO FAR UP HIS BUTTOCKS, FERVENTLY KISSING HIS OWN ASS, HE WOULD'VE PROOF READ HIS WORK BEFORE PUBLISHING IT.
Nora, Yang and Blake begin to giggle at the Guilliman thing
Emperor: FOR ALL WE KNOW, RIGHT NOW, THERE COULD BE HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS OUT THERE PLEDGING THEIR ALLEGIANCE TO CHAOS, OR PERHAPS EVEN WORSE. AND WE HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA ABOUT IT OR A WAY TO STOP IT BECAUSE ALL OF OUR DEFENSES ARE SO THINLY SPREAD.
"Question..." Ruby said to Apollo
"Yes?"
"There is the inquisition right who have the xeno thing and the Chaos one as well right?" Ruby said
Apollo nodded
"So... Aren't there suppose to be a Inquisitor ordo for Astartes who would betray the Imperium?" Ruby theorized
There was silence for a moment
"The Inquisition are so fucking dumb...." Apollo said with frustration
Emperor: THERE COULD EVEN BE CHAPTERS CONSORTING AND ACCEPTING BOTH XENOS AND CHAOS WORSHIPPERS INTO THEIR RANKS. MAYBE EVEN CHAPTERS SO FUCKING RECLUSIVE AND HISTORICALLY INEPT THAT THEIR MERE EXISTENCE SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE AND SHITTY FANFICTION.
[Meanwhile in Swedasia]
Champion Garrot: ...Do you guys have the feeling we're being shit on really hard right now?
Russian commissar: Aww, we're always being shat on...
"And who are you guys?" Ruby said in confusion
Karl the Deranged: Fuck you!
Fresh: Go fish.
Karl the Deranged: Fuck you!
Fresh: You thought YOU were gonna win this poker game, BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY I, FRESH!
[Burst of Failsnake!]
Failsnake: BANZAI!!!
Eliphas: (Runs around laughing)
"That's... Weird..." Apollo said with everyone agreeing
[Transition back]
Emperor: FUCKING DAMN IT GILLSMAN. SPEAKING OF WHICH, DID YOU TELL THEM TO CUT HIS LIFE SUPPORT YET? IT IS VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT.
ACTUALLY, WHEN YOU'VE DONE THAT, MAKE SURE TO BRING THAT STASIS FIELD POWER ADAPTER HERE. I MIGHT NEED THAT EXTRA POWER TO CHARGE MY DATA SLATE TO PLAY WHATEVER NEW BATTLEMACE 42 MILLION GAME IS OUT, OR WHATEVER ELSE MIGHT EXIST. NOT CALL OF DUTY THOUGH, THEY SERIOUSLY NEED TO STOP RELEASING THOSE SHITTY FUCKING REHASH GAMES EVERY YEAR.
Kitten: Right...my Lord, I'll make sure not to forget it this time... (Untrustworthy Chuckles)
"Careful... He's Learning..." Blake said with Ren chuckling
Emperor: ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, ARE THE ULTRAMARINES SOMEHOW CONNECTED TO ALL BAD THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED FOR THE LAST 10,000 YEARS? IT FEELS LIKE WE KEEP BRINGING THEM UP ALL THE TIME.
Weiss tilted her head "Huh... Yeah actually..."
"We kinda are..." Pyrrha said agreeing with the Emperor
Kitten: Well, they've kinda become the poster-boys of the Imperium so, we can't really avoid mentioning them. Oh! Speaking of which, I actually remember the name of that thieving Chapter now!
The group perked up
Emperor: REALLY? WHAT IS IT THEN.
Kitten: The name of the chapter is the Blo-
Nudestodes: DUWANG!!
[CUES THE NUDESTODES]
"yes!! Whoo!!!" Yang cheered to Weiss dismay
Whammudes: I am soooooo sorry for interupting you, little kitten, but we have something very important to inform you about.
Emperor: OH SHIT, IT'S MY ETERNAL TORMENT UPON THIS THRONE MADE MANIFEST AGAIN.
"Mine too..." Weiss said
"Mine three..." Blake said as well
Karstodes: You see, we were outside the Palace travelling through he spires of Terra when we noticed that everything was on fire.
Custodisi: Not in the usual sacred incense burning way either!
Whammudes: Mmmyes, indeed. Apparently there are Inquisitors running amok all around the planet. They are looking for the one who sent that message demanding the disbanding of the Inquisition and Adeptus Ministorum.
"How are they so... Calm when everything outside the palace is burning?" Jaune asked
"Well... They're Emotionless... From the start they were gene crafted by the emperor himself." Apollo explained
"Huh..." Jaune said
Emperor: SO THEY HAVE ARRIVED.
Kitten: Holy imperator berries, really!?
Whammudes: Really. I suggest you go to the High Lords immediately. Perhaps the Inquisitorial Representative can be argued with.
Custodisi:
If not we can just, y'know...eat him or something...
"Wait what?!" Weiss yelled in surprised
"Either they have the Omophagea as well... or they are joking..." Blake said
Kitten: There is no time to be lost, let's go!
(Nudestodes prance away, leaving a barely hopped kitten behind)
Kitten: I'm fucking done [drops down with a loud Clank]
The group laughed
[Transition to the council room]
Decius: I was foolish to believe you would hold a promise like this one. You are untrustworthy filth, not ever worthy of the Emperor's blessing!
Fyodor: I am the only one here worthy of the Emperor's blessing! I am the only one who is going to save him from his very own corrupt bodyguards!
Decius: You are NOT entering the Palace, Fyodor!
Fyodor: I would like to see you try and stop me!
Decius: I'll gladly show you! GUARDS!
[Suddenly 4 female Arbites appear]
Arbites: Stop, you have violated the law!....RAWR!
Pyrrha and Ruby giggled at the Arbites
"That's Funny." Pyrrha said with a smile
[Fyodor makes a Inquisitorial Sigh]
Dominique: Ah, Fyodor! We're surrounded!
Fyodor; Be quiet, Dominique!
Decius: Well here we are, Fyodor. At long last I can put you, and your miserable little cult away. Never to interfere with the Emperor's will again.
"Aha! Yes!" Weiss said with success
Fyodor: Hmm...Ahahahahahahaha!
Foolish! Have you forgotten that my throne is a massive weapon arsenal?
Arbites: Oh, Shit!
[Fyodor smashes the Arbites away]
Weiss groaned a bit
"That's... Quite bad..." Blake said worried for Decius
Dominique: Hey Ecclesiarch, we're gonna light you up. Like a sandpaper cigarette...IF I HAD ONE!
Decius: Grrrrrhh...
Fyodor: (Content Inquisitorial Laughter)
Oh, Ecclesiarch...If you and the rest of Terra do not meet my demands, I will have this entire room, and all of its inhabitants fall prey to my Throne of Judgement! It is too bad for you that this 'passive decree' is still in effect, isn't it?
Decius: Fyodor, you absolute ass...
"Agreed..." Ren said agreeing with Decius
Fyodor: Aww, don't feel too bad. Hehehe...At least my Melta will fry you away from this existence, instead of splattering your blood across the floor! Because that was your primary concern, wasn't it?
Now...I'm going into that Palace, and I alone, will save the Emperor...AND THE IMPERIUM OF MAN!!
The Holo-Vid ends
"And that's all..." Apollo said than turn to the group
Ruby looked "will there be more?"
"Of course! Though it will take a while to decrypt the others" Apollo said
"Huh... So what's next?" Jaune asked
"Now we will go with the Greenest and Meanest lore!"
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Ozpin's court
"So we have a sort of infighting amongst the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition..." Ozpin said with Ironwood nodding
"Indeed... My bet is on the Inquisition..." Qrow said slowly getting Sober
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Salem's court
Tyrian boo'd
"Well... If this Argument within Terra keeps going I might believe it would fall..." Watts said with Hazel nodding
Salem giggled a bit "indeed..."
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CFVY and SSSN
The group sighed a bit after watching the intro of the world, walked in the Battle of Vraks, and Watched the horror of the Horus Heresy
"Thank oum... It's over..." velvet said in relief
"...I don't know if I could keep watching this..." Sun said
"Do not fret Sun" the box said "this is merely the beginning of everything..."
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Next up: Institute Orks
Than Majorkill Necron Dynasty