"And the Miss World 2023 goes to.....!"
"Philippines!!"
Nag sigawan ang tao, may palakpakan, may mga tambol rin. I smiled victoriously, shook hands and hugged Miss. Valenzuela who's also looking proud at me. Alam kong may kirot ng pagkatalo ang nararamdaman n'ya, nevertheless, I know she's proud of me.
And even the crowds that cheered for me are proud. It's evident as you can watch their throat almost falling apart but still screaming with joy. I'm sure Dad and Mom watching the television would be too.
I stood at the center of the stage, remaining my balance and my poise as the former Miss. World slowly and surely made the crown's way on my head. It even illuminated in my sight before taking place at my top.
It suits me. I know. Because this is me. This is a part of me now.
Pag katapos ng coronation ay naiiyak na niyakap ako ng manager, assistants, my personal coach and even the make up artists that had been closed to me ever since I started big time pageantry. From Bicolandia, to other city pageants, to Miss. Philippines, then to Ms. World...
God... thank you for this guidance. I know that You are the one to thank for, for giving me skills that is enough and inclined with my desires. I think humbling me too got me in this path. If I was not humble enough I would play bitterly with the loss that I experienced. Or even stop...
Thankfully I didn't. Because here I am now.
One week after the coronation, umuwi ako ng Pilipinas. I decided to have a short one week vacation with my family before coming back to work. I'm a full time model in the company that I was once working as an editorial manager but shifted when the photographer loves my angle, and how I look so perfect and natural in camera. And the CEO also did love the artworks where I was the model in the area, until I decided to shift my job.
And it clicked!
"Girl, can't believe na bestfriend ko ang Miss. World champion. Omg lang ha!" Hermione said as she sips her Hokkaido flavored milk tea and sits elegantly at the simple couch chair.
I chuckled a bit. "'Kaw naman. Parang di tayo humahabol noon sa taho na dumadaan sa kanto."
Natawa ito saakin and even slam the table repeatedly as she laugh. A manner that I would always find funny. "Oo, o kaya yung bumili tayo ng text kasi naiinggit tayo sa mga bata na naglalaro noon. Pero 'di pala natin alam kung pa'no gamitin."
"Nag paturo pa tayo kay Doc. Alvarez!" Natatawa kong puna ng maalala iyon. Dr. Alvarez is a dentist near in our area who had happened to pass by while they stared at the texts with confusion.
We shared some good laugh together while reminiscing the past we had since childhood. Sometimes when a prayer meeting is about to come and susunduin na kami we would always hide and seek at our garden.
Buti nalang ngayon di na namin ginagawa.
Nag usap pa kami, we don't really pay attention to those camera that flashes before us. Because here my friend in front of me is also a beauty, a part time advertisement model and a creative photographer. She doesn't have a steady income but she's married with a doctor so I'm assured she won't go broke unlike before, they don't have a child muna. They said they wanted to enjoy the honeymoon stage and prepare themselves together for a child. Being a parent is hard. I witnessed that myself when my Mom got a miracle baby when I was 13 and Romanie, my sister, really gave her a hard time. Both of my parents had.
Being a parent is hard. Being a wife is hard.
Everything you have to commit to is hard. Being a christian while at the same time model and pagentry is hard. It's hard to swallow the values and conservative nature you adore just to be able to perform well and do your best to the things you love... If only I can remove the bikini's spotlight at a pageantry.
"Oy ikaw. Wala ka na bang balak man lang mag-asawa?"
Napaisip ako saka maingat na sinimsim ang kape na bahagya ko pang hinipan. This is an instant coffee by the way, but tastier and more in my taste. And just like this coffee, I can't find a man that would suit me, my taste, perfectly.
"Diba, may nanligaw sayong artista? Yung cast sa Sayo Hanggang Wakas? Sino nga doon?" Dagdag na tanong nito ng mapansin na napapaisip nanaman ako. Hermione knows me well, she knows it'll be like, ten minutes of silence with me if I started overthinking things then ended up staring at a blank space completely forgetting what was I was a about to answer.
"Si DJ Lamiento. I don't like him... Gwapo, mabait rin, but you know? There's something that I'm still finding."
"Ang rami kayang mga handsome, rich, and talented na nakapila sa'yo. Ano pa kaya ang hinahanap ni Eleanor Lozano? Hmm?" Hermione teased and I just responded with a pout.
Cause, honestly, I don't know.
God? Who am I supposed to be with? Is there someone po ba na nakalaan for me?
"I think I want a deeper connection..."
"Hmm. Like someone na pwedeng makasabay sa katalinuhan mo and your dry humor?"
Natawa ako. "Exactly."
But who?
The lights are suddenly dimmed inside the prominent coffee shop that we were in. It's exclusive for people like 'us' and includes free pass for known artists like us. The stage infront which is malapit naman na sa direksyon namin is slowly raising. And the red curtains was dropped then after a few seconds, hastily removed like a curtain and there– a man in a whole white suit and black bucket hat with a goofy sunglasses paired with its smirking lips greeted me.
Then a voice at the little speaker came located at the corners of the walls.
"This is a special performance for Miss. World, Eleanor Lozano! A round of applause everyone!"
Sumunod ay nag play ang upbeat song ni Bruno Mars.
Sumayaw ang lalaki sa tugtog at hindi ko maiwasang humanga sa kung gaano kaswabe ang galaw nito na lalong pinaganda dahil sa confidence na dala n'ya. He would smirk and looked at me straight– then wink like a playboy though he doesn't look like one. He's an average, even his height is. But there's something humorous around him that makes me feel like he's familiar.
"Too hot, hot dang."
Tunog ng kanta, napatili ako ng kaunti ng magustohan ko ang dance steps nito sa climax ng beat at bahagyang lumapit pa sa'kin ng energetic na tumatalon talon at kagat kagat pa ang rosas na galing sa bulsa ng suit nito!
He offered his hands at me, wiggled his eyebrows and I smiled as I stood up and even though I'm wearing a 6 inches of heels and a body hugging red dress, it didn't hinder me from matching his energy with the beat.
Pumalakpak ang mga tao na tumayo na rin at sumayaw ng freestyle, sinasabayan kami! Nakatingin ako sa mga mata n'ya ng inalis n'ya ang shade at swabeng dinala saa'kin na ikinatawa ko at ginaya ang dance steps n'ya. Pumaikot ito sa'kin at maya maya ay may naramdaman akong mainit na hininga sa tenga ko na mabilis lang rin mawala kasabay ng boses nito...
"Congratulations, Miss. Lozano."
Lumingon ako dito na nagsasayaw parin at ginawaran s'ya ng pinakamatamis na ngiti na pwede kong maibigay.
Nang halos patapos na ang kanta ngunit hindi nauubos ang beat ay pumunta ito sa unahan at nag pagaya ng dance steps na talagang ikinaaliw ko!
Gosh, this man is goofy for his age! He looked like he's 27 or such!
Pagkatapos ng kanta ay nagpalakpakan ang mga tao at kinamayan ako ng iilan. Ang dancer naman ay hinagilap ko... pero wala na. Siguro ay dumiretso ng backstage...
"Grabe! Energetic girl ha. Type mo ba?"
As usual. Hermione knows what my eyes says.
"Medyo...?"
Tumili ito ng kaunti at mahina. "Taraaa! Mamaya ayain mo na!"
"Hala uy. It's so embarassing kaya. Ako pa na girl ang mag me-make ng move."
Nanlaki ang mata ni Hermione, kaya nagtatanong naman ang mata na ginawad ko sakan'ya. Saka s'ya tumuro sa likod kaya napalingon ako.
The man in the white suit! Suot parin nito ang mga ngiti na kanina ay hindi nawawala habang nagsasayaw s'ya. At dito ko lang napagtanto na ang ganda ng buhok n'yang kulot.
Hindi man gwapo, pasado naman sa kalinisan!
Pero wait, kanina pa ba s'ya nasa likod ko? Did he heard what I just said??
"Hindi mo na kailangan mag make move, Ma'am. Tabi na. Ako na. Baka maunahan ka." Pabiro nitong sabi na ikinalaki ng mata ko pero agad ring nakabawi at binigyan s'ya ng ngiti.
"Sige, reserved na kita, ha."
He pursed his lips as if preventing himself from smiling too hard. His hands holding the one roses he used while dancing extended towards me. I smiled and blink at the flower, then slowly accepted it while looking in his eyes.
"Thank you."
"Sorry nakagat ko na ha. Fresh pa naman yan."
Nagkatawanan kami at nag katitigan naman.
"Thank you again. I'm Eleanor." I said and extended my arms and opened my palms at him.
"Camilo."
It was all blissful. Palitan ng IG username, twitter, google username at pati account ko sa Qoura gusto n'ya malaman! Wala s'yang masyadong followers and hindi rin s'ya masyadong nag popost. We chat for a reallly long time. I discovered also that his home is just fifteen minutes away from our subdivision! He likes color green, all kinds of green. Mapa mint, army or emerald. He said it feels like nature is talking to him. He likes spaghetti and pasta! Carbonara or even noodles is just so chef kiss to him. And of course, he's a dancer.
Marami pa kong nalaman sakan'ya... For the past few months we've been so connected even at the first time we've met... Now, I know a lot of things and stuff that he doesn't just randomly share. We don't have exclusive titles but we both know we're important to each other.
"Very independent ka, Camilo." I asked. We were eating dirty ice creams then goes at the fish port. Nilatagan n'ya ako ng mantle but I said that it's fine. Nakasuot lang naman ako ng simpleng pants and t-shirt.
"Anong very independent ka d'yan, wala lang talaga akong choice." He said.
"Si Mama, hindi naman kami binibigyan ng importansya. Muntik pa nga kaming ipadala sa bahay ampunan. Pati ni Papa. Buti napigilan nina Uncle... ay di ko pala alam kung buti yun."
"Minsan napapaisip nalang ako. Kung may mali ba sa'kin? Bakit ganoon ako itrato? You know... First girlfriend ko nag cheat sa'kin, second girlfriend ko, jinowa lang ako para may taga tulong sa thesis n'ya. Third na jowa ko naman nag asawa habang kami pa. Anak ng..."
"Are you still feeling bitter about your past exes?"
Tumingin ito saa'kin. Here it is again. That deep eyes like it's analyzing me. But he smiled tenderly, "Hindi. Pinakamaganda ka sakanila eh."
I raised my eyebrows in pride. I want to say, I know right. Kumalat narin sa social media na I'm currently dating a dancer that is 'infamous' and 'not good-looking.' But who in the world cares? Not us.
"Dahil ba 'to sa pangit ako, Ela?"
"What... No!"
"Deny mo naman na pangit ako."
"No!"
"Ouch ha."
Nagkatawanan kami. "But seriously, you have a good soul. I don't see any thing wrong with your physical appearance but I know that you have a serious, gorgeous personality coated in something that the standard's of the society wouldn't find better... But they have to dig more. And that's why I'm here infront of you. You'll meet genuine, real, and persevering partners that stay."
"Beauty queen talaga." Nakangising saad nito at bahagyang hinawakan ang pisngi ko then gently rub my cheeks with his thumb pressing down.
"Ang suwerte ko sa'yo." He whispered.
"Ako rin." And with that, he lean closer and in swift moves just like when he dances, he kissed me swiftly, like we've been longing for it for a while...
OFFICIALLY DATING!!
Caption ko sa IG pictures namin. Marami ang nag react na akala naman nila kilalang kilala nila ang buhay ko. But... My parents were supportive! And my bestfriend! And that's all that matters.
First months were crazzzyy. He's not my first boyfriend but he makes me think twice. The feelings are so new... He's the one who made me feel so grateful in my every prayer...
God, salamat po. Matagal man dumating. Dumating naman. Alam ko po dati, I dreamt of being a nun and serving you and I think I still have that in me. But it changed when I experienced pageantry and instead, I served you in a different way. By proclaiming to the world how much You love us. Did I do well, God? Once I entered the sacrament of marriage. I won't do modelling or pageantry again, God. I would serve you now by serving my family. Lord God, I offer you my destiny.
Be careful of what you wish for.
And be careful of what you affirmed to. Especially in prayers.
Because when I offered God my destiny, I wasn't ready for the tough journey.
I was scrolling through my social media accounts, my platforms, and rediscovered the voice that I was proclaiming. Smiles between the comments when a notification pop in. An email...
I clicked the email cause it seems important, browse through it and my eyes widened... I could only focus at the last two words.
Miss. Universe.
I squeeled in my room, jump like a kid on my bed and even got teary eyed...
I quickly delivered the message to my parents at the other room and they were as excited as me!
Especially my mom... Hindi pa man ako nananalo ay niyakap na ako nito at paulit ulit na kino-congrats. I'm so speechless.
"So proud of you, anak. Manalo man o hindi."
And that's enough. More than enough.
Hapon, I decided to tell the good news personally to Camilo. He'll be thrilled!
We met up at the coffee shop we first met. He greeted me with a kiss. Umorder na ako ng usual na kape n'ya kaya may nakahain na sakan'ya.
"Ganda naman natin ngayon, Ms. Eleanor."
"You look dashing yourself, Sir. Camilo."
A couple of conversations again... Untik I felt the need to interrupt him cause my nerves are bursting in excitement!!
"Camilo..."
"Yes, love?"
"'Wag ka mabibigla..."
"Buntis ka??"
"Sira ka ba? Eh di hindi ikaw ang ama?"
Nag katawanan kami. We remained pure and wholesome throughout our relationship. Because that's what I want, and that's how he treated me.
"So... I'm gonna be the Miss. Universe representative of the country!!!"
I squeeled lowly and shook Camilo's hand left in the air. Shock is written in his face followed by a fell in his emotions... kaya napatigil ako sa excitement ko at agad na may kung anong sumuntok sa dibdib ko na kaba...
"Camilo? Are you not happy for me?"
Yumuko ito at marahang inalis ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay n'ya saka pinagsalikop ang mga ito. Tumingin saakin at ngumiti ng kaunti.
"Hindi naman... Nakakaproud. At the same time, nakakatakot."
"Huh...? Why?"
"How many months are you gonna stay out of the country?"
"Hmm, mga two months? You can come with me..."
"May trabaho ako dito, Ela."
"So, are you disapproving?"
Huminga ito ng malalim. "Yes."
May kung anong bumagsak sa dibdib ko. Suddenly, it feels heavy.
"But... why?"
"Ela... I want to get married."
"What? As in? Then we can still get married after ng competition right?"
"No... It has to be now."
"Bakit?"
"Kasi gusto ko."
Napapalatak ang tenga. "That doesn't make sense. Pa'no naman ang gusto ko?"
"Is the competitions more important than the family we'll build?"
"What?" I snap. "That's not what I'm talking about, Camilo. I'm just saying na we can adjust the marriage because it's the convenient for us, but we can't adjust the pageant because a whole damn nations is never gonna adjust for us!"
"Sawa na ko mag adjust, Ela." Nakayuko n'yang sabi. Ngunit nangunot ang noo ko.
God, Lord. What is this? What am I supposed to do?
"Kailan ka ba nag adjust, na napagod ka?"
"Sa lahat! Since I entered this relationship, I've been adjusting ever since! Pero hindi mo yun nakikita."
"Camilo, lower down..."
"Tangina, kita mo? Pati boses ko kailangan ko i-adjust."
"Because it's inappropriate."
He looked at me, nanliliit ang mga mata at lumulunok. Humihinga naman ako ng malalim sa pag pigil ng mataas na boses.
"I think, I'm the inappropriate thing to your life..."
"The tone, the volume is the inappropriate, Camilo! Stop twisting my words."
"That's exactly what you said!"
"Come on. 'Wag natin tong pag usapan ng ganito... Please."
"I clearly told you. I want to get married. And may mga rason rin naman ako kung bakit ko nasasabi na inappropriate ako sa'yo."
"Bakit naman?" I said at napahilamos sa muka. Too tiring, arguments are tiring.
"You don't check my feelings... Oo ikaw, wala kang paki sa kung anong sasabihin ng media. Syempre, ikaw yung maganda eh. But how about me? Na mukang alalay mo? Na mukang driver mo? Na bagsak ako sa lupa samantalang ikaw ang anghel? You don't open a conversation or asked me about it if I'm okay. Post ka lang ng post. Basta may ma ka like..."
"Hindi mo rin naman kasi sinasabi na may issue ka."
"Kasi hindi ka rin naman nagtatanong."
"We're couple here, you can share..."
"We're a couple here, you should have cared. Care enough to ask."
Nagsukatan kami ng tingin. Humahangos at may kung anong nag iinit sa sulok ng mata ko...
"Okay. I'm sorry." I said. Retreating my stare. "But please... Let me participate."
"I want to know, Ela. Ano ba ang mas matimbang? Hindi pa ba nag bago ang pangarap mo?"
"What... Mahal mo ba talaga ako, Camilo? Kasi kung mahal mo 'ko hindi mo ko papapiliin ng ganito. Ikaw ang pipili ng kasiyahan ko."
"And you would do the same if you really love me. Pipiliin mo rin kung anong ikakasiya ko diba? And I... don't want you to go in that stage again."
Kung nababasag ang puso, kanina pa ito bitak bitak saakin. Seeing your man crashing your dream is the most painful thing I've ever had in my life.
"But I want to..."
"And I don't want too."
"Sino ka para pigilan ako...?" I asked. Kitang kita ang dumaan ring sakit sa mata n'ya.
"You told me you love me." Sabi n'ya.
"You also did!" I said and stood up pointing fingers at him. "You know what... I'm so tired of this."
"You're tired of me?"
I laughed breathlessly, tears forming in my eyes. "God... No. Pero kung magpapatuloy to– baka. Baka mapagod na 'ko."
"Mas pipiliin mo yan kay'sa sa'kin?"
"You're the only one making me choose when it's not even needed! You're the one who can't support me because you have that insecurity that I would leave you! Well, ikaw lang naman nag nagbibigay ng rason sa'kin para iwan ka! Don't make me stupid!"
I said and stormed out of the coffee shop where I know– a lot heard us...
Tomorrow, we forgive each other. The next morning we'll fight again... For the next two months of my preparation, hindi s'ya sumisipot kada itetext ko s'ya na kailangan ko ng suporta n'ya. Hindi maintindihan kung saan nanggagaling ang alburuto n'ya... That's why it's harder to fix it!
I was grasping my rosary, asking for Virgin Mary to help me with my prayers and cleanse my intentions... I want to win the competition, but I want to win it without having guilt...
What am I supposed to do now?
Papunta na kami sa kung saan gaganapin ang pageant. Two months. I've met the other candidates and we were good to each other naman. But they all complained about me, getting all sluggish, lutang, and laging nag bubuntong hininga. First day palang yan!
For the next few months... I would text him, he wouldn't reply unless I call. And in call, it's just the usual, cold greetings....
And every night, I would cry in my sleep. Pray the rosary, pray to God and leave it all. Pagkatapos ko kasing magsabi na I'll leave my destiny to Him, biglang gusto ko na mag back out?
I have to remind myself again. Gaano ka man kaganda, hindi totoo ang fairytale. Walang perpektong buhay na hindi mo papatakan ng luha.
At kailangan ko rin pala ipaalala... Hindi lahat ng pangit hindi na magloloko.
At the pageant day, mabigat ang kalooban ko dahil sa last text n'ya...
Ang sabi ay
Ayoko na.
I called, he didn't answered. I cried, he won't budge... So I covered myself to blanket. Said sorry... Cause I can't participate anymore. Pack my things up,and flew to Philippines. I chose him over my country.
Lord God, make it right.. make it right.. Please...
"Hello... Hermione?"
"Ela?? Why are you calling me? You're supposed to be in a competition!! Speaking, hindi ako makakanuod muna, nasa business party kami ng asawa ko..."
"Hermione... Nasa'n si Camilo?"
"Huh, ba't mo sa'kin hinahanap? Jowa mo yun."
I sniffed while I drive. My eyes getting blurry so I have to wipe it away with my palms...
"Wait. Papatawag ko sa asawa ko ha. Baka sumagot." She said when I explained what happened. It was eight hours since I left the day before the competition. Everyone in the country must have known that I'm sick... But here I am driving past the limitations when he said where he was. It was a reunion party...
I arrived at the reception, a hotel. I told the clerck who was very amazed when he saw me, I asked where Camilo Madrigal is...
They pointed me to another room where his name was listed. Binuksan ang malaki at mahabang pinto. It's like, it was made for a princess looking for its prince. But in my case it's not what happened.
Hindi mahirap hanapin si Camilo given his hair, so I did. Here he is, looking down at me with the same velocity he did before. But it was different now, before it feels warm, now it's getting cold.
My eyes shifted at the girl besides him, her arms linked in him. Before I saw them, and before they saw me. He was smiling at her, whispering something. And she did laugh. But now she looks horrified.
I nodded my head, motioning him to follow me.
"Give us a room, now." I said while walking past the receptionist and looking directly at the Chief Manager who's rushing towards me as if his life depends on it. He probably heard I'm here. Upon hearing my request– a command rather, he nodded and lead me to the private room...
"Is there a boy walking behind me?" Tanong ko bago pumasok.
"A-ah, yes po Ma'am Lozano. Kulot po?"
Tumango ako. He seem anxious so I smiled and apologize for the trouble.
Pagkapasok ko sa kwarto, napaupo ako sa pinakamalapit na upuan. I don't have the time to inspect the room but my stares are glued at the door waiting for it to open. A couple of seconds later, a knock came.
I first did the sign of the cross then opened the door.
He looked at me. Stepped inside. Huminga ng malalim at biglang lumuhod na ikinaatras ko.
"Camilo...!"
"I'm sorry..."
"Bakit ka nag sosorry?"
"I'm sorry... Forgive me. Ela. Sorry... Sorry..."
He said, pumiyok na ito at nakayuko lang. I could only tell...
"Y-you cheated?"
Hindi ito sumagot, bagkus ay yumuko at gumalaw galaw ang balikat. Natulala ako... dahan dahan na lumapit sakan'ya at pinantayan s'ya.
"Y-you did?"
Hindi nanaman ako nito sinagot...
Nanghihina na iniangat ko ang nakakuyom na kamay at sinuntok suntok ito sa dibdib n'ya...
"Camilo, tell me... Tell me na hindi mo ginawa... Come on... You can't do this to me? Right?"
"Patawarin mo ko, Ela..."
Humagulhol ako, kasabay ng mga pag iyak n'ya ang pag buhos ng luha sa mata ko.
"Bakit ka umiiyak... Bakit ka umiiyak?! Ikaw ang nanloko, dapat ikaw ang masaya! Why are you crying??? Can't you let me be mad at you this time? What the hell... Camilo... Please..." I said in between of my sobs.
"Nag simula lang naman to sa maliit na bagay. Why did you drifted away? Why... Bakit hindi mo piniling magtiis?? You said you love me..."
I can't talk anymore. Ang bigat sa dibdib. Ang bigat sa kalooban. Why did I gave him this kind of trust?
"Sorry... Sorry, Ela.."
"Kaya kitang patawarin... But we can't be together again like how it used to. Hindi ko kakayanin..."
Pumagitna ang katahimikan...
"I'm sorry, Ela... cause it's okay... I'm choosing her."
Lord... Help me.
"THAT happened?"
Natatawa akong tumango kay Ma'am Dominguez. Currently live at a television program. They hired me, and all of the church people told me it was not a bad thing... or if it is, I can turn it into a good thing.
That was two years ago. I was devastated. I even posted some malicious post at my twitter saying,
Nakakaimbyerna lang no. Lolokohin ka na nga lang yung pangit pa talaga?
I was lost. I became too... attention seeker, validation seeker. I can't forgive myself too from giving up my country for the man who cheated on me.
But I guess... That is bound to happen. Cause when I thought I was humble, there was a resting pride in my heart pa pala. And I wouldn't know it if that didn't happen. It wouldn't have these new realizations or a new coronation...
"Wow... I never knew there was that story. So, anong nangyari? Did that certain events made you feel like, I should go to a convent. Y'know that feeling."
Agad akong napailing sa tanong niya...
"Certainly not. Siguro... It was the thought na naligaw ako. I don't mean it that way that pageantry is a bad thing ha. Or having a boyfriend. But, it was my... dreams ever since. To be a nun, and I think I drifted away from my very own goal dati. It was not really to be a nun, but to serve God full time. Yung hindi ko kailangan ng approval ng palakpak, ng sash, ng crowns or ng judge. Sa isang judge lang ako mag sisilbi. Sa isang deserving talaga ng crown ako mag seserve. At hindi iyon tao, dahil ang deserving ng korona ay hindi ang kung ang sino ang pinaka maganda. Pinaka matalino. Kundi ang pinakanagmamahal ng totoo."
"And that's God. I remembered, I would always go to him whenever there's an obstacle. Pero bihira lang ako dumadalo sakan'ya kapag masaya ako. Kapag nanalo ako, or kapag excited ako. I've always felt insecure of the romantic relationships that I had, it feels like nothing ever works out. Turns out, sariling relasyon ko pala sa Diyos, hindi ko man lang rin maayos."
"That pained me. Knowing na... Wala akong nasakripisyo Sakan'ya."
"My mission being a Dominican Nun was made, is not just because I need to sacrifice, not just because I love doing it, and not just because I was hurt. But because, I was loved. By the greatest One who gives the greatest love. God... And just like how I am used in crowning. I would also be so honored to imitate Mama Mary in persevering in her faith and have the coronation in my life, as a daughter of God."
"That's so sweet..." Ma'am Dominguez said.
The broadcast and the live tv show was a success. Here I am again, walking not at a stage, but in a journey God has made for me. And I'm willingly accepting it. Not for the crowds, not for the applause, but for the cause.
Sa daan ay may pamilyar na nahagip ang mata ko.
A brown fritzy curled hair, paired with a certain familiar smile.
He walked closer to me. I smiled at him.
"Hi..." He said.
"Hello." I replied back smiling.
"That was a great... conviction. Ella."
"Thank you."
"Have you forgiven me?"
Hindi ako sumagot... Bagkus tumingin sa pamilyar n'yang mata.
"Sorry... Sister Ela. Sorry again. For hurting you with a shallow thing.."
I grasped the rosary in my pockets.
"Not forgotten, but forgiven."
A/N:
Di ko alam kung magugustohan mo mare at naka sentro s'ya sa relationship MWAHAHAHAHA
Dedicated to Euphie_Zhavia
Unedited