I learned my lesson. I am ready to sacrifice everything just for you. Even in the afterlife. So please come back...
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[I apologize if Lei seems out of character here. And sorry for not warning you but I kinda like Shancai's character but I hate it when she acts too oblivious about other people's intentions]
"Where is Xiang Li?"
He asked with a worried look making Shancai slowly look up at him as Daoming Si turn to him too, "When I found Shancai, she was not with her" He explained making Lei look at him with a widen eyes and Ximen immediately stated, "It's impossible for her to be not with Shancai out of nowhere and she never arrives back home"
Meizuo turn to Shancai and spoke out, "Where is she?". Shancai snaps her head to him as all of them look at her. "It was all my fault..."
"We countered some bears.. and she advise me not to run but"
Silence erupted but she continue, "I was even too scared to listen and did the opposite which means run away, but I can't look back anymore so I don't kno-"
"You don't know?!" Lei exclaimed as he look at Shancai with a frown. "She went with you for you to not get in danger but you didn't listen and make things more harder for her. You even leave her in danger. What kind of person are you?!" He snapped as Ximen tried to calm him down.
"It was in reflex, calm down"
"How can I calm down when we don't know where Xiang Li is?!" he stated as he look at Ximen in anger making Shancai flinched when he shouted.
But before Lei can even spoke continue, Lin Yan entered the room and spoke while putting her coat on hurriedly, "My friend is with Xiang Li. I'm going to go there" She stated and hold her bag as Meizuo walk to her and said, "I'll ready the car then. Daoming Si can handle the two girls" He said and took his coat out and walk outside the door.
Lei remove Ximen's hand from him and glare at Shancai and followed Lin Yan who wait for him at the door and put his coat on. After they left, he closed the door hard making Shancai flinch.
When they entered the car, Lin Yan immediately informed Meizuo the address and drive there.
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As soon as they arrive in another villa, Lin Yan knock as a girl answered it for her and look at the 3 of them and land her eyes at Lin Yan, "Are you Lin Yan?"
"Yes I am" she answered as the girl let them entered as she called for her friend, "Somi-san! They are here!" She spoke in Japanese as a girl with light green hair went down and look at her junior, "Oh, you're here. Come" She signed as they walk up the stairs to the 4th door in the left. "Before we come in, let me explain her condition first after the bear attack that occurred yesterday and the fact the she seems in the cold for hours already."
"First of all, she suffered in Stage 2 of Hypothermia, and trauma for almost getting attack but we took down the bears before they can even kill her. She is quiet injured in her left arm for getting bitten and cause a nerve damage on how deep it was but don't worry. I save her in time and as for today, she is still sleeping and let her rest for a lot of running." the girl explained as she look in her clipboard then back to the three.
"Please enter one by one so less noise" She informed as Meizuo just push Lei so Lei took the initiative to enter and left the couple there. "Somi-san, how did you find her?" Lin Yan ask as Some turned to her smile, "Well..."
"You see that our villa is near the forest. My friend kind of heard shouts from there so she decided to check it out. She was not scared to bring a gun that time so some of them just come along with her to check it out"
"She manage to shot down the wild animals that surrounded your friend and that's how we managed to find her"
Somi explained as Lin Yan continue to talk to her about Xiang Li's condition. Lei who was inside the room. You can found him silently staring at Xiang Li who was still unconscious. The night she was gone missing.
He can' t even put him to sleep, knowing she was in danger, with him who can't do anything but just stay in the house for their safety. "Please don't leave me, Xiang Li, till I require control of myself."
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Xiang Li hurriedly rose from my bed as I became aware of my strange surroundings. As the girl glance around, her heartbeat becomes more rapid. It was surely not her room. It was cold...
And she doesn't know why but she halted on her thoughts when her head throbbed badly, that made her held onto her forehead. She felt the presence of someone who sat on the bed. "Lei?"
"You're alright, you are safe here" he started as unrecognizable look on his face. "How's Shancai?"
"She is fine, Si found her when he went out yesterday." he explained as Xiang Li started coughing before she even manage to speak. The boy immediately rub her back and offered her a glass of water.
The girl drank it as tried to compose herself. She immediately look at the man beside her when he suddenly kneel in front of her who is sitting on the bed. "Lei!"
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..." the boy stated as his voice trembled. "I shouldn't have let you put your life in danger. I thought about Shancai situation and not yours again. I'm really sorry" he apologized. "Lei..."
"Is not your fault"
"It was, no matter how you look at it, it was my fault for not stopping both of you when I knew the situation outside. I should have thought of it more"
Xiang Li just stayed quiet, she doesn't know how to speak with this man who she thought would never cared for her, "Why are you suddenly acting like this..."
Lei just tighten his grip on the covers as he heard Xiang Li, "Because you're really important to me... I almost lost you. I never manage to make the 2 girls important on my life stay with me, I can't handle it if you're the one I'll lose..."
"Not again..."
"Again?" Xiang Li repeated the words that gave a reason on the sentence. "I remember you... I treated you harshly before because I thought you like Daoming Si and you using me will make you get closer. I was born to not trust people easily."
"But when I push you away... I realized how much I was lost, followed by Jing who left. Looking at you, I saw myself on how much I was lost on everything."
"Lei"
"I know, I know. There was a saying to cherish the person who was always with you before you lost them. I clearly... didn't went along with it"
"What are you trying to imply on now" Xiang Li ask as mixed emotions surrounded her heart. She can't understand the man in front of her.
"I hate it, no matter how much I say I love Jing, I can't stop thinking of the person who gave so much effort for me. I don't love you nor hate you. When I saw you again after breaking your heart, you grow up to become a woman, I was thankful that my words back then didn't hold you back for becoming the person you are now. I never forgot about you, I never did"
The man explained as Xiang Li whispered, tears starting to gloss on her eyes, "You... never forgot about me?"
The guy just let out a breath and a smile etch on his face when he look at the woman in front of him, he slowly shook his head. "I never did... I love how you act normal with me when we met again, it made me comfortable. When I kissed Shancai out of emotions, I can't say it was accident nor I meant it. When I saw you there, it made my heart ache for a reason, seeing you that broken like how I left you, made me scared that you will treat me differently because it was the second time, that's why I started to let everything with you, stayed with you so you will never leave me. I know you were not gentle with me like you used to, but being by your side was enough for me."
"I know I can't possibly give you my feeling back, but please understand, I'm trying to know why you chose me out of all people" Lei said as he took hold of Xiang Li's hands.
"Lei..." the girl whispered as she shook her head towards the guy, "Please don't force yourself to love me. That is cheating on the other person..."
Lei just smiled and sat on the bed, towards Xiang Li, "I'm not forcing myself, I'm letting myself fall for you without knowing. I know this is not the right time but I'm telling you, in the future, you will see me always with you."
"I want to show you that I can give back everything you sacrifice for me, to avoid you being uncomfortable with me. I told my intention for your further understanding. I know... you might thinking I'm using you to forget Jing, I never had that thought. On the rooftop with Shancai, I know our talks must have reach your ears, before I got to explain, I don't know how..."
"I was helpless, I don't know how to explain knowing I was in the wrong. But I don't want to hurt you that time so I put it out on a different woman. But I never knew it will still have the same effect. It hurt me, that should be having comfort to say your worries to me, I never knew Daoming Si will be the one hearing you out."
Xiang Li stared at Lei for a second as tears fall out of her eyes. "I don't understand what your were trying to make me feel... Lei"
Lei just chuckled sadly and let go of my hands, " I know, my head was in a mess right now, I don't know how to put my intentions on the right words"
"I'm not proud of how cruel I can be, yet I still recall your name and birthday. I apologize for not being able to think that anyone has ever begun to truly love me. I apologize for being blind; I never intended to abandon you and the precious memories you shared with me. You'll find a better lover than I did. I'm trying to let you know that you deserve someone better because I am aware that I don't deserve you."
"The manner in which you looked at me, in ways no one has ever been able to. And it appears that I hurt your feelings. I couldn't bear seeing you like that. Knowing even I can hurt some to that extent"
Lei wipe the girl's tears as she laughed sadly, "Please don't hurt me again..." the girl begged as Lei hugged her carefully, "I won't, so please don't cry again because of me"
"Rest Xiang Li... you need it"
She heard the man mention as she started feeling sleepy. She must be really tired... mentally and physically.
Lei slowly lay her down but his gaze was still on her, bruises from the harshness of the encounter of yesterday. Unknowingly, tears he was helding back slowly fell from his eyes as memories of the past flooded back to him.
"Lei, Xiang Li seems to have liken with you." Jing mentioned to me that made me look a little confuse. Who is she? Why was she suddenly brought up on the conversation.
"Oh, the girl who hangout on the rooftop" Meizuo ask as Jing nodded with a smile. "She is just an acquaintance"
I answered when I remembered who she was, Jing look at me, "It doesn't seem like it"
"I have no intention on being friends with her. Did she mention such things to you?" I ask Jing, I'm worried about what can that girl said that might effect Jing's communication with me. "It's not like that Lei."
"Well Xiang Li is indeed a perfect woman. She seems flawess"
"What about it?" Ximen and Meizuo talk about the girl as I just drank on my wine glass. "She seems to taken a liking with you, Lei. Don't you like her?"
Jing honestly ask I shook my head in disbelief. I don't want anyone other than Jing, and the girl surely known I like Jing already, I'm quite obvious. to begin with. When I heard Jing leaving, I was planning to follow her and the girl we were talking about, Xiang Li talked to me about how she feels.
Which I rejected, I never harshly did but I never understand the reason why me out of all people. But from that time, I saw what she really feels like. I never knew she have the intention to made me realize what I was lacking on. But I misunderstood that time.
I only know how to look down on myself that's why the reason why Xiang Li loved me because of me being friends with Daoming Si. Followed by she was younger than me, I never knew her that's why I have no reason to love her.
But when I met her again in the rooftop, I can't forget how I judged her that time when she only spoke out for her broken heart to me. Those years haunt me...
I never knew I would take her outburst seriously, but she was right on one thing. We are really the same person trying to make the person who love us, give that same affection back. Seeing her live normally before, I don't know whether being close to her will clear the anger between the both of us.
But the emotion, anger, never really appeared after that. I just have the comfort I needed, when I met her again. I realized how big her role was on my life. She changed, how she act, she became more gentle after years passed. She prioritize her talents more than anything else. And, she didn't let our conversation hold her back. She grown to be a strong woman, that changed her perspective in life.
The time she pursue me to followed her again... there was something that was making me hope for her to held me back. And I will surely stay that time. That time, I thought she completely lost her feeling and I was also glad. My emotions was mixed, I don't know who I really love.
Being with Jing in Paris made me somehow, guilty of leaving China. Her tears on the day I left, was engraved in mine, including 8 years ago.
My trip to Paris, I just treated is something where I travel with a different woman. When I found the reason to go back, I didn't knew I was also heartbroken that time. But it didn't stop me on buying Xiang Li the things she can't and wouldn't try to achieve. The things I did just to forget Jing, I never thought of getting comfort from her, and it seems like I misunderstood her intentions on it.
I should have made myself realize that she understand me, better than anyone.
I don't want to used her to make me feel better, I don't want to hurt more than I already did. Yet in every action I did, seems a stab to her heart. I don't know... how to make her happier with me.
That's why... this year, both of us will start from the scratch and earn each other's love. We started to a rocky relationship, and I was the cause of it.
This year, we will start our story.
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Author's Note
Sorry for the Long wait everybody, I kind of lost my motivation and face to face classes started, activities, consecutive exams and quizzes stop me and writing seems a distraction to me. My time was precious and in this Monday, I will have another exam, I just need to write because I kind of thought of reading this book again. But I might make another chapter in Christmas Break.
I hope for everyone to understand <3.
-Love from the Author