I couldn't focus on work. I couldn't focus on anything at all. My mind was somewhere else, a matter more troubling than anything I had been through in a while.
Cancer? How could she be sick with cancer for so long and say nothing about it? How could she hide something so serious from me? If she hasn't collapse today I wouldn't have known.
She fucking kept quite until it got so serious.
After her argument with my sister that Friday over a small fight at school, she suddenly look really sick but even then she refused to tell me what was wrong and when I suggested taking her to the hospital, she refused.
I thought she was just feeling overwhelmed after her fight with Sarah but it turned out she was sick. She fucking had cancer all this time and she didn't bother telling me.
"Justin" I glance at Ria who was now looking worriedly at me from her desk. "Are you okay?"
I forced a smile and nodded not wanting her to ask any more questions.
"Are you sure? You don't seem okay"
"I'm okay Ria, there's no need for you to worry"
She stared at me for a few seconds and it was quite obvious on her face that she doesn't believe me. "This won't do" she stood up and walk over to my desk picking up the massive pile of files "I don't have much to do today, I'll help you with this"
"Ria you really don't have to"
"But I want to" she retorted stubbornly and walk back to her desk. "You need a break Justin, seriously"
I sighed knowing she was right. I'm physically and mentally drained of energy. The news about my mom's illness made it worse.
"You do know you can talk to me about anything right?"
I nodded feebly. Ria was really the only one in this entire company who doesn't hate me. A lot of the other employees dislike me after witnessing the incident that occurred at Oliver's wedding party. Maybe Oliver also doesn't hate me for it but I'm not sure. I haven't seen him since the wedding.
Ria's sympathetic eyes stared at me with expectations and concern but I couldn't bring myself to tell her what I was going through. I didn't want to burden her with my problems.
After a while she gave up trying to get an answer out of me. "I'll get you some coffee, after that you absolutely need to rest. The president won't need me for the rest of the day so I'll help take care of half your job"
The heaviness in my chest lifted a bit and I suddenly felt very emotional at her kindness. It was something I rarely receive after my dad died. "Why are you so nice to me Ria? You know I don't deserve it"
For a second she looked shy and embarrassed, an expression I've never seen on her confident personality before. "You're a good person Justin no matter what others think about you. There ate people out there who have done worst thing than you and are still being treated like humans"
I gulp down a huge lump of air and looked down at my shaking hands. They have been shaking since the morning. "Thank you Ria, I really mean it"
She smiled. "Sure. I'll go get you some coffee now" she flash me one last smile and was gone in a second.
My phone interrupted the silence and my heart instantly stopped beating as the name on the screen.
Doc Vincent.
"Hello doctor"
"Mr Newton your mother's condition is getting worst, if the surgery is not done soon it might get to a point when surgery won't be able to help"
I ran a hand through my hair. The heaviness rushing to settle in my chest in full force. How did my life come to this?
"Please give me some more time doctor, I'll get the money soon" although I really have no idea where to get such large amount of money. I didn't have enough money saved up and I didn't want to bother Raphael with this, he had helped me enough.
This was so unexpected, I wasn't even prepared to be put in such situation. I hated myself for not knowing what my mom had been going through for so long. I was to involve with my jobs to notice anything. How could I be so blind?
I probably should stop thinking about this, I should look for a way to save her instead. We've already lost a dad and I'm not sure Sarah and I would be able to bear it if we lost our mom as well.
I stood up after ending the call with a little determination. This is my last resort and I just hope it works.
I knocked on the door to Natalia's office all the while trying to calm my racing heart. There's no way she's going to agree to what I'm going to say but I could only hope.
"Come in" her cold voice called out and with one last encouraging sigh, I walked in.
Raphael was standing at his own side of the office putting on his jacket as he got ready to leave. He seem more into the lecturing and I am actually impressed.
"Hey Justin" he greeted me in a weak voice sounding unusually exhausted.
"Hi"
I'd love for us to catch up but as you can see I'm leaving already" I gave a dismissive nod to show that it was okay and he smiled before turning to Natalia. "See you tomorrow Nat"
She didn't spare him a glance and although his smile fell a bit, he shrug and made his way out, patting my shoulder as he left.
"What do you need Mr Newton?" Natalia asked the minute the door snap shut. Her eyes remained on her computer.
I rubbed my sweaty palms together as nervousness took over my being. "Would it be possible for me to be paid two month paycheck in advance?"
As expected, my question caught her attention and she looked up at me with a raised brow. "And why is that?"
I fidgeted not sure if I should tell her the truth. She probably won't feel a single bit of sympathy since she completely hates my mom and I also didn't want her to think any less of me than she already does.
"I'm just really in an emergency situation right now and I really need the money"
She made a sound that sounded like a curt laugh of disbelieve.
"Seriously Mr Newton, you came yo my office to tell me this? What makes you think that I'll agree to this?"
My heart sank even though I expected this but I wasn't giving up yet "please Natalia, I really need it its important"
She remain silent watching me with a curious look "what's the emergency?"
I didn't expect her to ask me that. In fact I expected her to kick me out without hearing me out. I was thankful that she didn't though. She may not help me after what I'm about to say but its a risk I have to take. If it doesn't work I'll come up with other solutions to save my mom.
"My mom is ill" I told her and watched the unexpected look of surprise take over her features "she's diagnosed with liver cancer and I really need the money for the surgery. Please help with out just this once Natalia"
She didn't say anything for a long time but all of a sudden, she threw her head back and laughed really hard taking me by surprise.
"Oh my God!" She heaved in between laughter, her eyes shinning with delight. I was honestly offended that she found my situation funny. I know we wronged her in the past but this is way too cruel.
"I can't believe it" she blurted happily "I didn't have to do a thing, her punishment came on its own"
I opened my mouth to say something but no words escape my lips. What would I say anyway? I wasn't hoping or expecting any sympathy from her but laughing at my predicament to my face is just too much. It left me speechless.
"I need to see for myself"
"Huh?" I barely caught her words.
"I need to see for myself" she repeated, eyes twinkling with delight "I want to see the look on her face. The pain, the suffering" she chuckled "damn I've waited so long for this day. I was almost certain it would never come"
I had absolutely nothing to say to that and only kept staring at her in astonishment. Had she always been like this, rejoicing in other people's pain?
"Take me to see your mother Justin and there I can decide if I want to help you or not"
Maybe asking Natalia for this favour wasn't the best idea after all.