⋆ ★ ALREADY GONE ━━━CHAPTER SIXTEEN
( WHO YOU GONNA CALL? THE BOMB SQUAD! ) , as we know it.
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JAMIE NEVER REALLY GOT FEELINGS IN HER LIFE. There was never really a reason to get the feeling that she was going to die. I mean, she had nothing to worry about. But this morning when she woke up, she knew that something pretty fucked up was going to happen. And she was inevitably right.
But it's not like she had been feeling great anyways. She felt like shit every day because of personal issues relating to the one and only, Derek Shepherd. She hated him with every bone in her body.
But she hated the way that she didn't hate him. She was never even close to hating him, not even a little bit- not even at all.
And when the hospital ran a code black, she was screwed.
And Jamie never thought she would be in the situation that she was in now. Her hand inside of a body cavity with unexploded ammunition.
And now, the feeling that she was going to die was stronger than ever. Her sixth sense she had developed over years of being a doctor had been loud and clear as her heart was beating out of her chest. Scared, afraid, dead.
Dylan stood behind Jamie in the OR, putting a protective vest on her while her hand was still in the patient. He was thinking how stupid she was and if her sister was going to follow in the same tracks. "You realize how stupid that was?" He whispered to the female.
"It was, Jamie. It was incredibly stupid." Meredith stood by her sister, a vest on her as well, pumping the ambu bag. "I'm so angry at you right now." She shook her head with a loud huff. "So, fucking, angry, Jamie Marie Grey."
"Okay," The elder sister sighed in defeat. "You know when you don't need to be angry at me? Now. Like when I have my hand stuck inside of a body that has a fucking bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your goddamn boobs."
"You've got a sense of irony." Dylan commented. "I'll give you that."
"Only when things are really ironic." She then cursed under her breath, "I told Kathryn I had a goddamn feeling."
"What's that?"
Jamie shook her head. "It's nothing... it doesn't matter anymore."
Then Burke entered. "It's time for you two to go." He motioned to the interns.
"No, I'm staying." Cristina shook her head. "We're staying."
"There's nothing more you can do here. We've got it covered." When the two still refused, he took a deep breath. "Cristina, this is not another cool surgery. This ammo could go off at any time and kill everyone in this room. Do you get that? You two interns cannot be in here."
She looked at him dead in the eyes. "You think this is about surgery?"
"Cristina, I cannot do this with you in here." He lowered his voice to a low whisper. "I cannot think."
"Mer, go with Cristina." Jamie told her sister and before she could protest, she stopped her. "No, Burke is right. I can't risk having you in here and I need you safe. So, please, please go. I will be fine, but I need you to leave. It's okay, Mer."
The two interns were hesitant but nevertheless nodded and left the room which made Jamie let out a breath of relief and Burke took over the pumping of air.
But the stranger in all black did not have an answer for her. Dylan did not know if Jamie was going to make it out of this alive and back to Meredith. He just hoped he could do his job and there would at least be a chance for the blonde who had her whole life and surgical career in front of her.
grey's anatomy
"I feel like colors are brighter." George spoke, his back leaning against the lockers in the intern's locker room. "Does anyone feel like colors are brighter? My head hurts."
Ross scoffed next to him. "It's the adrenaline. Do you have the smell thing? Because I have like this crazy-"
"Shut up!" Izzie interrupted, her voice loud and annoyed. "You two, just shut up."
"Are you okay?" Alex asked the girl beside him.
Mila shook her head. "Of course, she's not okay. Does she look okay- how could she possibly be okay? You're insensitive, Karev." She scoffed.
"I'm not insensitive," The male argued back.
"Would you all just shut up." Izzie snapped again. "Nobody cares if the blue is bluer or if you have super smelling powers. Jamie could die and I know she's a resident, but I live with her and any minute she could just... die. Actually, stop living... dead. A corpse." The female then started laughing.
"What the hell?" Ross cursed, narrowing his eyes. "You find this funny, Stevens?"
"Oh God- I'm sorry. God, I have really inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress." The blonde stopped laughing and cleared her throat. "Sorry, hold on."
"Should we, like..." Joey trailed off. "Should we, like, do something? Call Jamie's family?"
"We are her family." Ross answered. "Whether she wants to admit that or not."
"I'm sorry," Izzie laughed again before getting up and walking away, Alex following her. "I'm sorry."
George nodded. "We are Jamie's family."
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Cristina entered the OR where Derek still was performing surgery on Bailey's husband, his brain wide open. After she scrubbed in, she worked on getting her gown on.
"This area's been evacuated, Dr. Yang." Kathryn told her.
"Yet somehow you two are still here." The intern retorted.
"I have to be," Derek corrected. "Dr. Harper has volunteered and you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"Dr. Yang," Kathryn warned.
"Yes, I do." Cristina breathed out, her breath slightly shaky. "Besides, I'm guessing you two need a little company. How's he doing?"
The male attending nodded. "He's hanging in there. How's the paramedic Hannah doing? The girl with the bomb."
"Oh," The intern thought for a moment, coming up with a lie that wouldn't worry the two in front of her with Bailey's husband on the table. "Oh, uh, she's hanging in there too." Cristina didn't want to concern the two people that could possibly care about Jamie the most. They didn't need the extra pressure right now. "She's hanging in there."
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"Is this the strangest thing that's ever happened in your OR?" Jamie asked Burke who was sitting in a chair across from her, waiting for their next course of action.
He nodded briefly. "I'd have to say that it is, Ace."
"Good, because I'm very competitive, if you couldn't tell."
"All the best surgeons are... and yes," Burke smiled faintly, "I have noticed."
She laughed a bit. "Good."
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"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd just talked to the Chief. They're really worried about you. She's on the phone with Mercy West right now to see if they have any OR's available." George told Bailey as she was trying her best not to have her baby. Not without her husband.
The female sighed and shook her head. "I need someone to drive me home. I need Dr. Jamie Grey to drive me home." She insisted.
"They're talking about doing and emergency C-section, Miranda." Adam used her first name sternly. "This is getting dangerous; you need to have this baby."
"They can talk all they want, Williams. I'm not going to Mercy West. This baby is not coming out. I need Jamie to drive me home and I can't focus enough to drive myself, and Tucker..." She didn't finish her sentence, just continued to repeat, "I need a ride."
"You could lose it, you know this." George argued.
"I told you already, I'm not having this baby until tomorrow."
"This baby could die before it's even born."
"Can either of you give me a ride home?" Bailey started to raise her voice. Neither of them answered. "Then get out."
As George left, Adam sighed. "Bailey-"
"Get out! Get me Jamie, now!"
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The eldest Grey sister watched as Dylan entered the OR once more and motioned Burke over towards the door. The two started whispering back and forth, just quiet enough so that Jamie could not hear. "What is it, Burke?" She asked and he turned his head at the sound of her voice. "Tell me, be straight with me. And stop looking at me like that. I'm not a goddamn patient."
"What?" Dylan asked, confused.
"The two of you are looking at me the way we look at patients. Sorrowful, anxious, like I'm going to freak out any minute. I'm not going to freak out, so just tell me."
Burke sighed before walking closer to Jamie and the patient before saying, "The main oxygen line runs directly under this room."
"That's not good... is it?" She asked and received an answer in no answer. "Okay, I need one of you to tell me what this means exactly because these days, I don't trust my judgement right now and I think I know what it is. So, someone just tell me. Because what I think it means that if this bomb were to explode, over the oxygen line, the whole fucking hospital could blow up as well. And that's just crazy, right?"
"Jamie," Dylan began. "All it means is that we have to move."
"Move?" Burke twisted his face.
He nodded. "That's right, we have to move and now because I don't want to spend another second in this room."
"Wait." Jamie stopped him. "I can't wiggle my fingers- partly because they're numb- but because we can't shift the ammo and now you want to roll out the entire gurney?"
"Well, that's our safest- safest option."
"So, we move. Not a problem." Burke confirmed. "We can do this. You handling this, Ace?"
"Yep, I'm handling this." She nodded in reply. But in reality, she wasn't.
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As Cristina was still in the OR with Derek and Kathryn, eventually Meredith joined as well, needing to take her mind off of everything that was happening in the next room over, even if she wanted to punch Derek Shepherd in the face.
The surgery continued and both interns kept looking out the window of the door anxiously, waiting for something- anything- to happen. "Can I have those scissors, Dr. Yang?" Derek requested but got no reply. "What is so interesting out there, Dr. Yang?"
"I-I, um..." She muttered before Meredith ripped off her gown and gloves before rushing out of the room.
"You're doing great," Dylan whispered to the resident.
Jamie nodded. "Let's go over it again."
"The device is shaped like a rocket. It's about 8 inches long and we're going to have everything ready. Dr. Burke's team is going to be in place and my team is going to be in place. Then I'm going to ask you to take your hand that you have in Mr. Carlson and wrap it around the device."
"And pull it out," She finished his sentence.
"Level. Pull it out while keeping it level."
"You know, I don't like you very much." Jamie muttered but to her dismay, he heard her.
"I don't like you either," Dylan commented.
Meredith then came running around the corner, stopping when she came face to face with her sister. "What are you doing?" She panicked.
"Stop," Dylan ordered her, putting his hands up in front of him. "Stop right where you are."
"What are you doing?" The intern repeated.
"I thought Dr. Burke and your sister told you to leave."
Jamie looked calmly at Meredith before she said, "Mer, he's right. We're moving to an OR farther away from the main oxygen line, so it doesn't blow up the whole hospital."
"I distinctly remember him telling you to leave." Dylan continued to motion the youngest sister out of the hallway.
"Where's Burke?"
"Prepping the OR."
Dylan sighed before motioning over to the other side of the gurney. "You stay over there. You stay over there." And then he looked at Jamie again. "You ready?"
"Tell me something, Mer." Jamie asked her sister. When her sister didn't answer, she huffed a breath. "Meredith, I have my hand inside of a body cavity on a freaking bomb. I'm going a little crazy here and I really have to pee. Tell me anything. What did you have for breakfast?"
"Ego waffles." The younger sister shrugged her shoulders lightly.
Jamie's mouth watered. "Ooh, when and if I make it home. I'm eating some of those. They sound so good right now that I'm having a near-death experience. How's Bailey?"
"I don't know. I haven't been down to see her yet-"
Suddenly they ran into a dent on the floor and the whole gurney stopped and shook. They were all waiting to see if something was going to happen. If the bomb was going to explode.
"Alright everybody. Let's just keep placing one foot in front of the other. Nice and slow. Alright, Jamie, we're almost there."
"Okay." She whispered with a nod.
"We're almost there. Nice and easy. You ready?" Dylan asked her.
"Yep." She nodded again.
"Alright, let's go. Nice and slow."
As they moved the first two wheels past the dent, Jamie's heart seemed to be even louder in her ears. She was getting ready to piss her pants any minute now.
Meredith shook her head. "You really had to say you were going to die today, Jamie."
Tears lined the residents' eyes as she shrugged. "I told you."
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"Okay, Dr. Bailey, let's go." Addison and Adam both had their scrub caps on, ready to help the distressed woman finally give birth. "Dr. Bailey, we need you to turn on your back. I need you to push."
The resident shook her head and cried, "Leave me alone."
"Miranda..." Addison sighed. "Alright, I can't let her go any longer. I'm going to go tell Richard that he has to give us an OR."
"Dr. Bailey, I'm surprised at you." Adam spoke up, making Addison stop in her tracks. "This is not how I thought you would do this."
"Dr. Williams, I don't think that-"
"I truly- I expected more from you. I've heard so many great things about you and how you fight harder than anyone else here." He then took a wet rag and held it to her forehead, trying to calm her down some. "You're Dr. Bailey. You never once hide from a fight. You don't give up and you strive for greatness because you are badass. You are a doer..." Adam trailed off and continued. "I know your husband isn't here and I really wish he was and that things are complicated now that we have no control over, but this, this... we can do. Okay?"
Adam's words got her to comply, and Addison got back in place, ready to deliver this baby. Bailey sat up and Adam got right in behind her, holding and comforting her.
"Let's have this baby." He gently told her before she finally started to push.
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Jamie and the others finally made it to a safer OR where Burke was ready and prepared for the bomb to come out. He nodded at Dylan. "We're ready when you are."
Dylan nodded in return. "We're good," He said before turning back to the female. "Jamie?"
She forced a smile under her mask. "Yeah, I'm good."
"I'm going to extend the wound. When I cut, the bleeding is going to intensify. If we're going to save Mr. Carlson, you have to pull out immediately." The attending explained.
"But remember, remove it while keeping it as level as possible." The squad guy added on. "Nice and easy, no quick movements. Level."
"Right, level." Jamie muttered.
"You ready?" Burke asked her one final time.
"I, uh... yes. I mean, do I really have a choice?"
"You have to be ready. Are you sure, Ace?"
Jamie nodded. "Yep. I'm ready. I'm ready."
Burke took that as his go. "Scalpel."
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Cristina and Meredith entered Derek's OR once more, looking for updates, but the attending beat them to it. "How's it going out there, you two?"
"Everything is fine." Cristina answered.
"How's the girl with the bomb?" Kathryn added on.
Meredith ignored the specific question and asked her own, "How's Bailey's husband doing?"
"He's almost there. I need suction. Irrigate. You didn't answer Harper's question, Dr. Grey. How is the girl with the bomb?" He repeated.
The two interns looked between each other for Cristina spoke. "It's Jamie." Bother attendings snapped their head up. "The girl with the bomb is Jamie."
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"Good," Burke nodded. "She can go."
Dylan sighed. "Alright, now, Jamie... wrap your hand around the nose cone. Jamie."
Burke looked over in confusion when the female did not move when instructed to. "Grey? Grey."
"Jamie." Dylan repeated calmly.
She was starting to hit reality now. "The interns shouldn't have to move out of the house and I'm leaving it to Meredith. Once I'm gone-"
"No," He stopped her. "You hear me?"
"You should make sure- make sure they... they get to stay in the house and that it's Meredith's now. You have to do that for me. Please."
"Grey..." Burke said. "His pressure is dropping. Ace."
She shook her head. "I-I can't. No- I can't this is fucking crazy. Burke, you're going to go. You need to go to Cristina because I can tell she really likes you. Both of you should go- all of you need to go."
"Nobody is dying today, Ace."
"Jamie, I want you to look at me." Dylan stated firmly. "Look at me. I know this is bad and I know that I'm this ass who's been yelling and threating you to move all day. So, you pretend that I'm not. You pretend that I'm someone you like. Whatever you need. But you need to listen to me. Okay?"
She didn't want to picture him. But she did.
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"I'm scared." Jamie cried, tears streaming bitterly down her face. "I'm really scared."
"I know." Derek nodded, a smile creeping on his face. "You can do this. It'll be over in a second. You can do this, Jamie." He reassured her.
"Okay..."
"Okay."
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That's all it took for her to move her hand inside the body and start removing it. "Gently." Dylan whispered. When Jamie got it out, she gently crossed her arm over and handed it to Dylan carefully... and relief fluttered through her. "You did good." He nodded before removing himself and the bomb from the OR.
As Dylan carefully left and Burke started fixing the patient, Jamie needed out of there. But as she stepped out of the OR, there was an explosion that went off and she was sent back flying, landing on the solid ground beneath her.
She lay there on the floor, paralyzed in fear, her eyes shut, praying that when she opened them, she'd either be dead or this whole thing would be a dream.
She heard the crackling of smoke around her but other than that it was silent. Peaceful. She opened her eyes and simply laid there on the ground, not having to worry about the bomb going off anymore and she was relieved.
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Izzie, Cristina, Meredith and Mila all found Jamie lying on the floor with her eyes wide open after the bomb had exploded. They took her down to the intern's locker room before washing all the debris, blood and dirt off of her face and washing her hair back. The resident was shaky and quiet, frozen in fear.
George, Joey and Ross all sat on the opposite side of the lockers, waiting. Waiting to see if the resident was okay. But deep down inside, they knew she wasn't. Jamie had seem like a walking corpse.
"Oh my god," Adam hugged Kathryn liked there was no tomorrow as the reunited in the lobby. "God, are you okay? Are you hurt? I knew you and Grey were stubborn but..."
Surprisingly, Kathryn hugged him back, equally as hard. "I'm fine... I'm fine. Where's James?"
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Jamie lay in bed at night, watching the rain fall down against her window when there was a knock on her door. Izzie stepped inside. "There's someone at the door for you."
When she lazily trudged out of bed and down the stairs, she was met with Derek Shepherd in her entry way. "Hello?" She questioned.
"Hi," He sighed in return. "You almost died today."
"Yeah, I almost died today." That was all that was said, and he walked towards the door before she stopped him. "I can't... I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was the fact that I was going to die today, and I can't remember our last kiss. It's pathetic but... the last time we were together and happy, I... want to be able to remember that and I can't, Derek."
"I'm glad you didn't die today." He replied. "It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing your AC/DC shirt that looked like you've had it forever. It's my favorite on you. It also has a whole in the side of it. You just washed your hair, and it smelled like strawberries. I was running late for surgery, you said you were going to see me later. Then you leaned into me, put your hand on my chest, and kissed me. Soft. It was quick, kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading your book and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed."
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After Derek left, Jamie trudged back up to her room only to see two people in her bed. She smiled when she saw them. "Hey. What are you two doing here?"
"Well," Kathryn sighed. "We thought we would have a sleepover. You know, ease away the stress of today and just... spend some time together."
Adam smiled cheekily. "I let us in through the window."
Jamie settled on the bed between the two and curled into Kathryn, Adam spooning his friend from the back as she started crying. Sobbing.
Jamie Marie Grey had something die inside her that day and she wasn't sure if it ever bloom again.
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