summary
Minchan swears he's not just being dramatic. There is a legitimate risk of falling out of the cabin and dropping straight into the deep blue ocean underneath their feet.
He thinks he regrets agreeing to their Netherlands trip.
He isn't so sure anymore when Hoyoung holds his hand.
***
trigger warning:
fear of heights
***
word count:
1,659
"Shitshitshitshitshitshit—"
Minchan feels like dying. Not because he's done something incredibly cringy again and the post-adrenaline clarity is settling in earlier than expected. That would've been bearable, since he gets that feeling like fifteen times a day for a mere second before it dissolves into proud shamelessness but this. This is terrifying.
He originally imagined it to be sort of heroic, actually, because he knows it's his survival instincts that are kicking in. But he doesn't feel very brave when there are like thirty other people with him on the ferris wheel and nobody seems to be screaming as much as he does.
They're up in the air, five, ten, probably ten thousand meters above the ground, at least that's what he feels like. Well, above the waves, Minchan mentally corrects himself before continuing to screech his heart and soul out of his (yet) living body. The cabin is shaking. It's fucking shaking and it fucking wants him to die on the first sunny day since they've arrived at fucking Scheveningen Beach last Saturday.
Yongseung shoots him a glare but proceeds to grin at the view of the ocean, unfolding endlessly underneath the ferris wheel. Minchan assumes his awestruck eyes follow the waves as glistening fringes of foam still roll over the sand they've been walking on merely five minutes ago, when Yeonho hadn't yet spoken out Minchan's death sentence by suggesting to get tickets for this monstrosity. Next to Yongseung sits the overenthusiastic gremlin himself, snapping pictures with his phone from every possible angle of their cramped cabin.
The last person in their cabin is Hoyoung, who doesn't care much about the view nor the height and lets his gaze wander aimlessly, like he's bored. He's not entirely apathetic though, when the monstrosity stops to let new people enter the cabins that are at ground level currently, he nudges Minchan's shoe with his and smiles. Minchan appreciates it but it only works for the short time they're hovering in their place. Another shriek escapes his throat when the cabin jerks and moves again.
They're four people but something tells him the space is only meant for two to fill. While he's crushed in together with Yeonho, Yongseung and Hoyoung, Gyehyeon's stuck with the other two survival instinct sufferers, little Kangmin and frail hag Dongheon, and Minchan manages to chuckle weakly as he watches them bicker in the cabin in front of his. The glass can keep the noise inside but it fails to hide how Kangmin grabs Gyehyeon's hand with both of his own and the way Dongheon's mouth talks a stream of curses that isn't directed at anyone in particular but both of the other two answer anyways. Gyehyeon looks like he wants to die and commit murder at the same time. For once, Minchan relates.
("You three will not get into one together," Gyehyeon had scoffed earlier on the ground, "You'll scream yourselves a heart attack and we will have to pay for a dozen of cracked windows and hospital bills for two dozens of ear bleed patients."
At this point he'd probably rather pay than endure Dongheon or Kangmin for any longer.)
They're climbing higher. The beach and its long row of bars and restaurants shrink into miniature size under Minchan's eyes and the people start to look like he could pick them up with his thumb and index finger if just his arm was long enough. But this also implies that he could reach through the glass and if he can reach through it, he can also fall. What if it isn't merely a silly thought? What if he kicks the glass and his feet swing right through and then he somehow slips and falls and drops down, crashes into the waves and—
"Chan, stop thinking so much."
He tears his gaze away from the horror show that is the slowly shrinking, steadily shrinking outside world. Hoyoung is staring at him with a frown.
When his panic paralysis slowly releases him out of its grip of steel, Minchan notices that their arms are linked. Maybe he has slipped his arm into Hoyoung's right after they took off. He doesn't remember. But if it had been his fault, Hoyoung has yet to pull away so he doesn't budge.
It's not like he'd voluntarily move when every change of balance gives the cabin a reason to swing and shake like it wants to get rid of them as fast as Minchan wants to get out. Just not in the same way.
"Look into the distance," Hoyoung suggests. His voice is just as calm and even as if they were discussing the next library study session. "Far, far away. At some point, you won't even realise we're not on the same level as the horizon."
Minchan tries. But there are container ships sliding across his view and all he can think about is that ships float on water and water is on the ground and this cabin is not on the ground.
"I'm gonna die."
Yeonho lets out a groan. "It's literally been fifteen seconds. Fifteen! I've counted to see how long you'd last until you say something like that." His eye roll rivals Gyehyeon's whenever Minchan cracks a dad joke.
"Actually, it's been fourteen four-seven," Yongseung chimes in. He waves his phone where the pre-installed clock app shows the numbers he just read out. Then he turns away to gape at the sea again as if he'd never remotely done anything else in his entire life.
Minchan's heart skips a beat when he makes the mistake of following Yongseung's gaze. Yongseung must've gone mad if he enjoys the view as much as he looks like he does. Completely mad. It's then where Minchan decides that there's no hope for them as normal, functioning people anymore. He had trusted the boy enough to keep their one last remaining brain cell safe but frankly, he should've known that the seven of them were all bound to turn insane sooner or later.
Sweat starts to form on his palms. With great mental strength, he looks away and frantically wipes his hands on his shirt.
"Not helping. At all," he mutters.
Yeonho just shrugs and snaps a quick picture of his miserable state before joining Yongseung's madness.
To make matters worse, Minchan is suddenly highly aware of the limited space in their cabin. In his attempt to get the best possible panorama picture, Yeonho moves a lot. The world is shaking, knees that are mot his own bump into his legs multiple times and he gasps for air, realising in the same breath that the AC is not working and the two little windows above Yeonho's head can't get their one single job right. In his awe, Yongseung presses himself to the glass, as if he is about to become one with the cabin. Minchan would like that, actually. Less people, more space.
Hoyoung has shifted closer to where Minchan's sitting — involuntarily by the laws of physics or not, he can't tell — and his chin now rests on his shoulder. He hasn't uttered a single word of complaint since they got into the cabin, no shut up and no stop being so dramatic. Feeling his body heat on top of the stuffiness should be suffocating. But against any logical explanation he will be forced to give Yeonho and Yongseung later, Minchan finds himself relaxing at the touch, the urge to throw up slowly subsiding as he leans his head against Hoyoung's.
They're almost at the top now. Only a few seconds away from passing the highest point. This is the part Minchan dreads the most, this is where they would fall for the longest time if the ferris wheel decided to drop them into the tumbling waves. He could swear the sea was way calmer when they were still on the ground.
"We're safe in here. We'll be okay, I promise." Hoyoung's low voice tingles in his ear and suddenly Minchan's fingers are caught in between Hoyoung's.
Definitely voluntarily.
Jesus.
"It's alright to be scared. I'm here."
Minchan sucks in a deep breath.
Look, if he says he feels like dying, he doesn't always mean this in a negative way. Sometimes, it's just Hoyoung pulling shit like this and sending his brain straight into shutdown.
It's highly positive, even. Because he finally forgets where he is and what exactly he's doing as he buries his face into the crook of Hoyoung's neck.
It would even be sort of romantic, the way Hoyoung carefully squeezes his hand and places his other on Minchan's chest... if Minchan wasn't still panic sweating at the last violent shake Yeonho had caused by standing up to take a picture of Yongseung throwing up a peace sign or something. And if he wasn't experiencing a heart rate of 135 dpm — Deaths Per Minute — which Hoyoung most definitely feels beneath his palm. He can't get himself to care much, though. It's Hoyoung. Hoyoung doesn't mind. He never does.
Minchan can't stop wondering how he deserves him.
Finally, they're moving downwards.
It feels more like an agonisingly slow elevator now and less like a death machine. The cabin is still shaking from time to time but not as life-threatening as before and at last, they're at ground level again. But the doors don't open. In fact, they don't come to a halt at all. The ferris wheel continues spinning and before Minchan can look up and blink properly, they're already on the way up once more.
"I'm glad they're sending us on more rounds," Yeonho sighs. "I spent my lunch money on this."
Oh, Minchan will definitely kill Yeonho. But he'll spare him until they are back on the ground because Hoyoung is still holding him close like he wants to keep him safe from all the ferris wheels in the world and he likes it more than he should.
Also because strangling Yeonho means lots of shaking.
This is actually inspired by my own fear of heights and my panic when I was forced onto a ferris wheel during vacation-
Mona feels. Mona writes. Mona projects. The only rule that stays consistent through the years🤡
Anyways, here you have it. Thanks for reading ^^ I wish you a sweet day! Love you <3