CAMP BY A STREAM, ALLIED TERRITORIES
"Gods love war. It's how empires were built. And histories made."
Those were the words that Thomas Gelvar had once said to him as they lay in the infirmary of the battlefield. Saito, in much pain, had barely even cared for his words as falls of red spilt out of skin. The man laughed as he pressed a cloth on him in an attempt to stop his bleeding. Whether he was mocking him, or was solely amused by the fact that this small boy before him was now his captain, Saito never truly figured it out.
But he came to realize that his haunting words were true.
"Gods love war." Saito came to know this. But he had never been truly one for beliefs. Perhaps it was the confusion of growing up in two worlds at such a young age. With two very different, opposite even, cultures and traditions. Or perhaps he had realized that if any higher beings did exist, they had long forsaken the world below long before his time. And what was his measly prayers but a speck of dust to them.
But though he himself never found comfort in faith, he respected others who chose so. He realized there were many in the battlefield, besides fighting to protect their countries, fought in the name of their gods. And he also learned that some wanted to leave their existence per their beliefs. In fact it was among his many duties as Captain of his squad to ensure that each of his fallen comrades had their funeral as they had wished so.
And Lieutenant Thomas Gelvar wished for his body to be buried upon his death.
Saito couldn't help but feel that he had failed him. He owed Gelvar so much. So how could he fail to do just this one thing right for him? Though the ambush wasn't within his control, he wished he had the time to at the very least search for Gelvar's body and have it dealt with the way the pilot he had wanted it. It was the least he could do for him. For his loyalty. And all his friendship.
Maybe one day... when the war is done and over, he'll return to these territories to find him. Whatever may be left. Anything at all.
Saito opened his palms to the dim moonlight. A pale handkerchief unravels from his fingers. It was the only thing Saito had left of him. The legacy of the Iron Terror. The feared pilot whose skill was only second to Dragon of Marley. The only one who dared to rival him. There were even times when Saito himself wondered if it was Gelvar, and he alone, that could defeat him in the skies.
But alas, his curiosity would come to an end, never to be satisfied by an answer.
Saito ever so carefully folded the handkerchief. Fabric over fabric. If he can't give Gelvar his proper burial, then the least he could do was honor him in such a way with the things he's left behind. Saito lowered the folded cloth into the small pit that he had dug out with his bare hands and a stake of wood. A hole by the roots of an old olive tree.
A grave.
Saito leaned down as he gathered his soiled pressed hands together up to his chest. His eyes fluttered close. And he whispered the prayers that only knew. Prayers in his mother's tongue.
And then tenderly, he began to close the hollow. And very soon, he lost sight of the kerchief in the darkness of dirt and rocks. He sighed, his shoulders raising and lowering under the dim glisten of the moon. He reached for the mound of stone beside him and carefully ornated it above the closed pit in a round pile. And when he was done, a small stone mound rested at the base of the old olive tree.
Peaceful and rested.
For a moment... All laid still. The chilly winds seemed to hold its breath. And the owls hushed their hootings. Even the trees froze in place.
"I'm sorry," Came a hoarse whisper.
And then from the forest.. The sound of a small fracture echoed through the silence.
Saito snapped his head up at the sound of a cracking twig. Swiftly, as if the weapon was just another one of his limbs, he lifted the gun from his side and aimed into the pitch darkness. He could almost hear the blood rushing through his veins from his anxiety.
His eyes perked up at the shadow in the darkness as he remembered to breathe. To his relief, only a huge stag stared back at him ever so cautiously. It froze stiff and still like the trees it poked out from. Saito looked at it directly in it's eyes. It was a gorgeous beast. Huge with branching antlers. It stood tall and proud under the glow of the moonlight that peeked through the trees. No doubt a king in the forest with all it's ferocious muscles and meat.
Meat that would suffice two men on a long journey.
Yes.. Even after they've taken some meat for themselves to last their whole journey, there would still be plenty left that they could sell for a handsome price. A price that would have them travel comfortably. And the small pilot would do anything for a taste of comfort, the solace of his old life, in this biting cold.
Ever so subtly, he aligned his aim perfectly to the animal and he lowered his finger down to the trigger. He took a breath and held it in. With his articular good eyesight and steady hands, Saito was known around to be an excellent marksman. The Marleyan force even acknowledged him for it among his piloting skills. If he hadn't been made a pilot, he'd have been assigned as a sniper.
Saito curled his finger, slowly pressing on the trigger.
However from the corner of his eyes he caught a movement and a soft snore. Saito slid his eyes down to the sleeping figure of Reiner by the dying fire. The stag took Saito's distractions as it's que to flee. With it's white tail flaring in the air, a warning flag to all the other deer within sight, it vanished into the forest. Lowering his rifle, Saito sighed as he watched the stag escape– although the pilot didn't look particularly disappointed.
He glanced over to Reiner who curled up due to the bitterness of the night, peacefully asleep. He had his head propped on a log as if it were a pillow. He oddly looked comfortable despite the dirt and the chill. Saito couldn't figure out how he was able to sleep so deeply in those conditions.
Or how he found himself hating the idea of waking him up because his dumb ass decided to shoot a deer.
Saito returned back to his seat on the other side of the log. He sat down slowly, holding his side as he still felt the pulsating pain. He planted the base of the gun on the ground and let the barrel lean on his shoulder.
He glanced down at his wound. It had been a day since he had cauterized it but the pain still held him prisoner. It felt like his guts would fall right out if he didn't hold it. But when he did or showed any sort of signs that he was in pain, Reiner's hawk senses would catch it and his stupid worried face would be all up at him, suggesting they take a quick break and all that.
If Saito had taken his every suggestion they probably would've never left that cabin or traveled the distance they had for the day. But there was a price for his stubbornness and it was coming to him now. Saito sighed painfully before he growled and cursed at his injury.
There was always a fucking price. He furrowed his eyebrows.
He lifted his eyes over to Reiner. The Warrior shifted positions again, still fast asleep. I should wake him up soon... It would be about time they switched watch duty. But he found himself hesitating...
Because if he woke him up, then he wouldn't be able to look at him for as long as he wanted without a care, as he had done so since the moment the Warrior dozed off. So just for a little bit longer..
Truthfully, he was fascinated. By just how the same but also different Reiner was. He still looked just like the Reiner he knew and admired as a kid... but at the same time he was different. He was fiercer. And rough around the edges... He had always been taller so it didn't surprise him when he realized Reiner towered over him now. Saito had always been a small kid and even now he wouldn't be able to compete in a competition of heights. Perhaps he'd win as the shortest.
Gelvar had always reassured him he was still growing as he was only about to be seventeen. But really how much more could he grow? Saito caught himself mid-thought. Gelvar...
He sighed. Saito leaned his head into his hands. As a soldier fighting in the fronts, a soldier who dives nose first into battles, he had faced many deaths. With every battle fought, at least a couple people he knew wouldn't get back up on their feet. He enlisted knowing well that death was inevitable. His own and those he fought beside. He knew he'd have to collect the remains from his fallen comrades. But it didn't get any easier as the months passed.
He had lost multiple members of his own squadron, took in a couple more to replace their stations.. Lost them as well. But Gelvar had survived with him for so long. He always seemed to get back up on his feet and a part of Saito forgot that he was just as mortal as any of them. That he was also cursed with the ability of death.
Saito gritted his teeth. He hardened his eyes as he felt the strain of tears gathering. He can't be getting soft and teary eyed. Not now. He needed to focus on the mission. On Reiner...
The pilot glanced at the Warrior again. His eyes were raw, guarding the emotions that laid beneath. Despite the scowling face he had, Saito's eyes betrayed whatever harshness he tried to put up as a shield. Reiner snored softly in his sleep. The Warrior had his arms folded across his chest as his head leaned down over his shoulder. His golden hair fell over his sealed eyes.
Without a thought, Saito realized he had reached out. He froze his hand before his fingers could land a touch on a strand of Reiner's hair. I brought all this down. Saito's voice echoed in his head. This mission had turned for the worst because of him and the decisions he made on that damned plane. Gelvar's end, the blood he bled... was on his hands.
The pilot turned his hand to himself midair above Reiner's head. He gazed at it. And all the blood that it was stained with. His hands had taken more lives than saved. Hell, he didn't even remember when was the last time he saved anyone. If he had ever...
He curled his fingers into a fist. "By all that is true, I'll burn that damned airbase to the ground." Saito seethed through his teeth. "And I'll get you out of this hell in one piece. I swear on my life, Reiner. I..."
"I won't lose you too."
Not ever again...
---
A boot harshly swept Reiner's propped leg to the ground, waking him up abruptly. He jolted awake from his deep slumber to be greeted by the morning sun that nearly robbed his sight away. Before he could process that he had slept through the night, as well as his watch duty, he noticed a shadow looming over him.
"Enjoyed your hibernation?" Saito looked down at him with a grin, venom clearly under his playful words.
"Wh- Huh.." Reiner blinked at him, trying to make him out between the glare of the sun. "Saito... Did I- over- You..." He leapt on his feet and Saito scowled as he immediately towered over the pilot, ruining his moment of glory towering over him.
"What- Why didn't you wake me for my watch?!"
Saito scratched his ear, annoyed. "Who knows." He grunted as he slipped the rifle off his shoulder, tossing it to Reiner's unexpecting arms.
"W- Wait! You said you'd wake me up at midnight." Reiner continued to protest over the smaller pilot as he scrambled to hold the rifle steady.
Saito looked up at Reiner who stood in front of him. An angry vein formed at the base of his jaw as he reached over to his taller partner and shoved the palm of his hand into the Warriors face before giving it a light push to the side. "Get over it. There's nothing we can do about it now." Saito shrugged as he walked over to their dead firepit.
Reiner scrambled to regain his balance. Despite their difference in stature, Saito's strength equaled that of any soldier, if not more. Which usually caught his opponents off guard and why he was able to topple the bulky Warrior's balance quite easily. Although a part of Saito was suspicious that the Warrior was only letting him mess with him. Not that he didn't enjoy it.
"We're heading out in five minutes. Do what you need before we do." He brushed up some dirt with his boot over the remnants of their dead fire, covering the evidence of their camp.
Saito could feel the heat of Reiner's golden eyes on him. It took everything he had not to meet them. He could also practically smell the concern that emanated out of the Warrior.
Reiner stepped up to him, his footsteps sounding rather hesitant. "But- Wait just a minute. Saito, you didn't even get any sleep. It won't hurt to stay a couple more hours.." He tried.
Saito glanced over to him. "So? I've gone longer without sleep."
There was a bluntness in his voice and face that struck Reiner. As if he was used to not sleeping enough. Reiner had to remind himself a moment later that Saito, even if he may be a pilot, was a front soldier. The battlefront had forcibly honed him to be on his feet at all times, alert and ready for any attack.
Reiner lowered his eyes to the ground. He had always been prepared for that lifestyle for himself, being recruited as a Candidate at a young age. He expected it in fact. But what he didn't prepare was to witness Saito living it as well. It may seem easy, to always be on your sharpest at all times. But with it always came constant exhaustion.
The kind that no amount of sleep would fix. Because the kind of sleep they had to adapt to would not allow them the normal deep slumber, despite seeming that way on the outside. It was the harsh reality of soldiers. And Reiner only realized that Saito was no exception from that fate.
His chest tightened uncomfortably. Reiner never wanted this for him. Saito didn't deserve this kind of life. He should be in some big city, living as an important part of society, drinking wine and attending some fancy ball and finding... a pretty girl to marry. He should be living his life to the fullest. Safe and sound...
The absolute farthest from his reach.
Saito glanced over to the Warrior and immediately took notice of Reiner's heavy expression. He grumbled under his breath. He didn't know why it was greatly unnerving to see Reiner so worked up like that. Who knew he had it in him to look uglier, He sighed as he decided to quickly come to that particular conclusion.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. Reiner looked up at him. Saito rolled his eyes to the side, stubbornly. "I promise... that I'll hit the hay as soon as we settle for the day. In fact you could set up camp yourself later and take the first watch while I catch up on some beauty sleep." He turned his blunt face towards Reiner. "That sounds good to you, big guy?"
Reiner blinked at him. Despite the rather expressionless look on his face, Reiner could see Saito's sincerity within. A remnant of whatever was left of the boy he had been. A boy Reiner knew. No... Reiner caught himself as he continued to watch Saito going back to covering traces of their camp. Why couldn't he see it before? He was a fool to think Saito was anything otherwise. That he had changed. Because Saito..
He is still that very same boy.
The little boy who had believed in him.
The little boy... that he had adored.
A gentle smile appeared on Reiner's face as he chuckled an Ok in reply to Saito's promise.
Saito took one look at Reiner's shining beam and immediately turned around, seemingly unimpressed. He scowled as he quickened his pace, stomping the dirt that now concealed their fire pit. "You didn't have to be so happy about it." He growled as he bunched up the high collar of his jacket close to his neck. He leaned down to pick up their little pack from the ground.
And Reiner missed the subtle red that crept at the tips of the pilot's ears.
[author's note]
new cover art who dis :p
Also not me adding more fluff due to popular demands LOLL. I mean ya can't have angst without flulf and the more fluffy it is, the more painful it'll be when the time comes so honestly it works just fine w me ;)