chapter one,
ghost of you.
march '86
(3 months later)
NINETY DAYS.
THE LONGEST three months of Gwen Sharps' life. Within those three months, inside Hawkins Rehab centre, was an unbearable amount of forced reflection. The doctors prodded at her, shoving a mirror in her face to reveal the monster she had become due to the narcotics. Forced to have never-ending meetings, never-ending talking. She had all kinds of doctors, even the 'research' kind. Gwen had only evolved into a puzzled woman during the ninety days, not a single soul believed what she saw. However, there was one soul. Devin believed every word, as he had witnessed it himself. His form had anchored itself to Gwen, it was as if a rope tied their consciousness together and his voice never left her. The twins had questions but no answers.
They simply enjoyed being reunited with one another, after so long apart.
The demonic creature she had faced that day was burned into her mind, the metallic aroma and the scent of Eddie's jacket clinging to her trembling body still lingered. Eddie hadn't believed her. All he did was explain the mess to her father, the first step to entering the hell hole. It broke her heart, to catch a glimpse of her father's face that day. She was a freak, a disappointment.
Adding emphasis on freak, as she could now hear her dead brother's voice.
After that fateful day, Devin's voice became tedious and repetitive, the boy still watching over her. Maybe it was the drugs decimating her brain, they had tainted her imagination. But he was there. Gwen had seen his ghostly form stare back at her, taunting her within the confined room. Devin mocked the woman for hours on end, reminding Gwen it was her own fault for the state she was in.
During the detox, Gwen ached for silence, within the cold white walls that had numbed her soul. Devin had other plans, endless nights of teasing and knocking things over in her room. Within those days, she begged him to abandon her in her withering mess. Just the thought of those first few weeks made her shiver. Bone-chilling shakes, restlessness, aches, and vivid dreams had haunted the girl. It was a waking nightmare, that replayed every day.
To add to her stress, these dreams that could only be described as hell contained her previously lost brother. Gwen would be in her brother's shoes but forever walking in a crimson red cloud of smoke, there was no destination just an endless path. Gwen thought it was some sick purgatory. Detoxing was a waking battle, mind and body screaming at each other for hours. The emotions she withstood were skull-breaking, each day a distinct version of herself but all hideous.
The experience had eaten Gwen alive but she had willed herself to remain sober, even if the shakes were unbearable. At first, Gwen was doing it as a test, to see if he would vanish from her mind. When he didn't, she continued on the hellish journey of sobriety. Devin would remind her of her friends, Robin Buckley and Lenny Kugo, and how they needed her help. Eddie Munson needed her help, and Devin pushed Gwen to not hate him for what he did. If Gwen was honest, she wanted to blame Eddie for the way she was but that simply wasn't true.
All in all, she wanted out of this place. Today was that day.
Sitting in the waiting room of the centre, which was painted an awful eggshell colour, she waited for her father to collect her. Gwen's foot tapped, growing impatient. The bags under her eyes had only gotten worse, restless sleep was still present, and Gwen resembled a vampire. Unfortunately, make-up and hairspray were a no in Rehab. The girl could definitely have a competition with Steve 'the hair' Harrington with the amount she adored for her wolf cut. Now, it resembled a flat rat's tail, she didn't approve of herself in this state. Her insecurities were present, as she stared out of the glass window into the midnight sky that covered all of Hawkins like a blanket.
"Stop pouting, Girlie. A face as pretty as yours deserves a smile," The receptionist piped up, from behind her counter. "You're free, you've done the hard part. You can go back to school and break hearts, as long as you keep away from that stuff," She continued while pointing a finger sternly.
A familiar snicker was heard beside her, Devin's figure appearing beside her, Gwen did not spare a glance at him. A tight-lipped smile and a light chuckle left her lips, sitting up from her slouched position. "Yeah, I guess, just tired," Gwen shrugged, not wanting to continue the awkward conversation.
"You look like a fucking zombie," Devin chuckled to himself loudly. A luxury of his was that he was able to say whatever he pleased, as Gwen was the only one to see and hear him.
"This place does that to you," The woman snickered, before continuing her paperwork.
Gwen huffed lowly in response, averting her gaze to her smirking brother. "I think it was more the endless torment from my imaginary brother," She muttered with sharp eyes.
Devin smiled brightly, slouching further into the waiting chair. "Most people would be over the moon, seeing their supposed dead brother," He stated.
Gwen rolled her eyes, she had spent so long without normal human company, she craved for a real human conversation. It was petrifying at first, communicating with him in this abnormal way. Devin, however, continuously referenced D&D and sing Kiss songs into the void. It was a confusing time for them both. Gwen ached for answers and she knew she wasn't able to obtain them within this hellhole.
Then the door opened, catching both of the twin's attention similar to dogs, revealing the man she was so patiently waiting for. There stood Daniel Sharps, his eyes were deep and tired, wearing an identical tight-lipped smile her way. Gwen instantly stood, a rush of emotions washing over her. The wave contained mixed feelings, she wanted to sob endlessly in her father's arms like a newborn child but she also wanted to holler and whine at him for abandoning her in such a place. Gwen did neither, opting for a frozen stance.
Noticing how she didn't budge, Devin nudge her shoulder lightly with a pointed stare. Daniel decided to take the first steps. He engulfed his daughter, whom he had dearly missed, into his arms. "You look tired, kiddo," He simply stated, into her hair. Gwen didn't reply, she continued to stand frozen as tears started to glaze her ocean orbs. Devin stood in their shadows, his sad eyes watching the scene. The boy ached to be held by their father, Gwen knew that.
"Mr Sharps?" The moment was cut short by the receptionist. Gwen couldn't be anymore thankful, not wanting to drown her father's jacket in salty tears, so she quickly sniffled them away as he released her. The receptionist passed over a few documents, briefly explaining them and helping him and Gwen sign a few things. "Other than that, just keep an eye on her sleeping as she seems to struggle a lot, your all good to go."
Daniel nodded in response before holding Gwen to his side, ushering her out of the Centre. Gwen was able to gaze upon the stars and inhale the fresh pine wood that surrounded her. Being locked away allows a person to cherish the finer things. Relief vibrated through Gwen's body, freedom was bliss. Giving her the space to breathe and lay down the Rehab's expectations to rest. Giving her time to think and lay down her expectations of what thoughts are or should be. Gwen was free. A smile graced her lips, allowing the wind to seep through the strands of her hair and allow the scent of nature to dance in her nose.
"You coming, or do you wanna go back?" Her dad asked with a raised brow, now waiting in the truck with the window rolled down.
She didn't hesitate, bolting for the passenger seat.
HUMANS ARE BORN TO specialise because society is complex and has many unique tasks that need mastering. Only fools make the unique ones out-casts. The intelligent ones figure out how their talents might be an advantage to the group and welcome them with warm smiles, Gwen learned that when Devin went missing. As soon as you are tarnished with a brush, you are no longer worthy. People were ruthless to her, especially the kids in Hawkin's Highschool.
Daniel Sharps knew this all too well, being the school's coach, he had front-row seats to watching his bright girl fall into isolation. Her smile fading, allowing room for the creases on her forehead due to her harsh scowl. Daniel allowed it to happen, he just sat by allowing her to mourn wrongly. He knew he was neglecting his daughter and it ached his soul. The man believed he had failed both of his children, one missing or dead and the other a recovering addict. Daniel gripped the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to turn white, with a heavy sigh at the thought.
This didn't go unnoticed by Gwen, who was staring out of her window to avoid eye contact with the older man.
The low hum of the car softened the nerves in the father and daughter, anxiety riddling their bodies. The pair had a lot to say to each other but their tongues were frozen. The journey home would be anything but comfortable. Gwen knew her father all too well, he needed to speak his mind.
The tension grew thicker, as Gwen sat up in her seat preparing to initiate the conversation but her father beat her to it. "You know, I always thought I would be taking Dev... to one of these places," He snickered, now tapping the steering wheel. "The amount of shit he and that Munson boy used to get into."
A bleeding pang struck her heart, at the mention of both boys, finally allowing herself to peek through her fringe at her parent. She expected a tear to be rolling down his tired face but it was the complete opposite. Daniel's mouth twitched into his cheek. The tired man transformed into someone full of life due to the memories of Devin and Eddie flashing in his eyes. It pained her, to see he had grown from his mourning. She ached for that relief.
"Seriously?!" A shocked Devin appeared in the backseat, Gwen's eyes meeting his sharp blue ones in the rear-view mirror. "I swear, I'm the joke in this family," Devin pouted, slouching in the backseat. Gwen had to hold back the snicker, not wanting to alarm her father.
"This is what he would have wanted," Daniel continued, pointing to his smiling face. "For you to be happy. Not chuck your life away because of him and cry about all these crazy things." Salt was rubbed into her wounds, as his smile morphed into a pained expression. "I know I could have done more... I was brought up different," The man glanced at her briefly, his eyes meeting her trembling lip. "I'm sorry for not helping you from the beginning, it's scared the shit out of me, the thought of losing you too... I should've stopped you sooner."
"The military man can swallow his pride," Her brother piped up once more.
Gwen swallowed thickly, attempting to suppress the melancholy emotions that threatened her. The word 'crazy' stuck out to her like a sharp knife in her chest. The girl wanted to protest in rage, and explain what she saw that night but she understood it was a losing battle. That thought was overshadowed quickly by the apology, the thing she desired the most.
Swallowing her own pride, not wanting to cause any more conflict between them, she hiccuped. "I'm sorry too, for everything. That night was weird, I'm aware I sounded crazy. I just wanted someone to believe me, you know?" All she wanted was for someone to believe her and she knew it would never be him, especially after previously seeing her in a drugged fueled state. Gwen needed there to be some form of normality and her father was that.
Daniel swiftly leaned over, eyes still trained on the road, to ruffle her already chaotic hair. "No need to apologise, Kiddo. Although, you do need to apologise for that mess on your head," He joked, pointing to her dishevelled bird's nest, an attempt to avoid the subject of that night. She laughed lightly, through a sniffle, attempting to comb through it with her fingers. Again, he leaned over popping open the glove box of the truck. There nestled within the glove box was hairspray, Gwen was foaming at the mouth with wide eyes, she could have sworn it was glowing with a halo above it. The girl swiftly wiped at her tear-stained face, believing it to be a mirage. "I better get a thank you because I had to ask one of my previous students where he got his from," Daniel chuckled at the way her eyes glowed.
Behind the pair, Devin's mouth dropped at the sight before him. "That's bullshit! He threatened to beat my ass, after finding dope in my drumset."
A light snicker left her plump lips, an attempt to tease her brother. "Thank you, you are a lifesaver, old man," Gwen snatched the hair product with a newfound smile. The warm feeling of normality washed over her, maybe she could enjoy this feeling for now. The calm before the storm, or maybe this was the sun rising after the storm.
"I thought, maybe, you could come to the game tonight," There was the storm. Gwen's face dropped, at the mention of returning to school. Hawkins High was hell on earth, she vowed never to return after graduating by the skin of her teeth last year. "Come on, you and I both know you'll be the talk of the town for two days and it'll all blow over. That's how High school kids work," Daniel explained but Gwen's face had now turned sour.
"Nothing improves a girl's spirit like sweaty jocks and pretty cheerleaders," Gwen muttered, slumping into her chair, while Devin gagged in agreement.
Daniel pointed at her with a mischievous smirk, "And band. You used to love band, I remember when you started teaching Robin the flute." The man started to giggle like a schoolgirl, as Gwen shook her head attempting to hold back the smile growing. "That girl was horrific at playing, it's a good thing she plays the trumpet now," He teased, through broken laughter. "You should come see her play, she and Lenny have been asking about you a lot. The pair of them have been giving me migraines, even Munson has."
"And he's killed the mood..." Devin whispered.
The girl's smile dropped, her father had struck a nerve. Was it a good idea to see Eddie again? Gwen had a plethora of mixed emotions, prepared to burst at any moment, towards Eddie. Although, Gwen was anxious to see familiar faces like Robin and Lenny again. She was conflicted, it was written all over her face which was painted with a harsh scowl.
"Come on, when has my daughter ever been nervous? Always too smart for her own good and had too much wit to go along with it," Her father reminded, with a pointed glance.
"You really want me to see him, again... After everything," She questioned.
Her father shrugged pairing it with a sigh, "Honestly, no...but that has never stopped you. Sure, what he did was wrong and I did threaten to punch his lights out but he's family. The boy was practically furniture in our house, thanks to your brother, and he knows never to give you that shit again," Daniel turned to analyse his daughter's face but it was now flat, zero emotion slipping through the cracks. Gwen could imagine the emotional beating Eddie received from him."If it's worth anything, he told me he planned to get you to stop because of whatever poison you were asking for that night. Even though, he's the reason you were near it in the first place," Venom dripped from her father's lips. No matter how much he'd forgive and act pleasant towards Eddie, the inner thoughts seeped through. Gloom washed over the twins, at their father's words.
Gwen had suppressed that night the best she could but she will never overlook what she requested of him that fateful night. It left a disgusting taste in her mouth. When the girl began to spiral, she asked Eddie for soothing drugs. Nothing too outlandish just stuff to permit her to sleep, like weed or a simple pill. Unfortunately, she'd started to crave harder things, things not even Eddie would touch.
Sooner or later, sources run dry and the only option she had was Eddie which led her to this moment now. The girl knew how selfish it sounded, her heart was heavy with all these conflicted emotions. If Eddie had just said no, she wouldn't be driving away from rehab. It worked the same way if she hadn't requested her vice from him.
These thoughts were becoming painful, slowly chipping at the wall of her brain. The wall she had built to conceal this 'cure' for her heartache. Her temptation was caving in, finding a million excuses to neglect herself once more. Oh, how she craved euphoria.
Before she could fall deeper into the abyss, her father piped up, "You don't have to come with me."
Deep down, Gwen knew she needed a moment of normality. Her mind was hazy, a rat running around in the chaotic maze trying to find the fix she desired. No Eddie Munson, no horrifying emotions, only cloud nine. Maybe she could hear her brother's comforting voice if she allowed the darkness to seep in once more. "I can't wait to see everyone's face when they find out I'm not dead," She replied, sporting a tight-lipped smile.
"If only they could see my gorgeous face," Devin pouted into the rear-view mirror.
There was no doubt in her mind, that this was the calm before the storm and she would cherish this car ride.
author's note,
I'm so excited to develop these characters!!!!!!