It is true that time goes by very quickly when the days are pleasant and every time you wake up in the morning there is so much delight to be lived and felt. It never ceased to amaze them how their favorite type of date was to get dressed up and go to their favorite restaurants in a more reserved corner to simply talk to each other. Every shared opinion was so fascinating, so interesting, how could they always have something to talk about when they already shared a house? A truly wholesome mystery.
Teddy's two-year-old birthday had happened a couple of months ago and to Remus' relief, nothing happened. Not in that full moon, not in any other that followed. And the more time passed, the more they believed Teddy indeed hadn't inherited Lycanthropy from his father. His ability to shapeshift, however, that one was even hard to catch up with, every day or so Teddy would come up with something different. And now being less worried, Remus could hold him without the guilt of a lifetime, which gave even more room to his parental love, if possible.
Snape continued his research on the Wolfsbane for toddlers and children regardless of Teddy, it was way too important for that version of Wolfsbane to exist. And he didn't stop until the first bottle made it to the shelves of Balsamum, perfectly balanced and safe for use. Given that a child's transformation can take place at home rather safely if they have a good room for that, Lupin's worries finally faded. He never thought that to be possible, but they were gone. For the first time in his life, he knew he'd always have a potion for himself and for his son if he ever needed it.
Still, Remus had mixed feelings about transforming at the hospital. He'd much rather empty a room and do it at home, but he carried the trauma of the times the wolf tricked him into not taking his potions. For that reason, he kept going to the hospital's under-quarters to transform inside secured rooms. He missed the type of care Severus had given him in a more private environment. Wearing his collar right after transforming back to his human form was maybe the only good thing about being a werewolf that he cared to admit. There was something so blissful, so dreamy, so warm, and undeniably erotic about it that made him foggy just to think about it. It was addicting to feel that way while Severus caressed him behind his ears and under his chin, just like he would do to pet him in his wolf form.
They felt no shame anymore, when taken home and high on his senses they would make love until Remus was a quivering puddle, tired to his bones, but ready to have the best sleep and rest of the month. He dreamed and lived his following days fueled by nothing less than love in its rawest form, the most instinctual affection he has ever needed now was always there for him, available, easy, spoken, and understood in the same language. And seeing Remus healing over the course of months was a gift to Severus, whenever the werewolf smiled, Severus felt warm in his heart. Meeting him in his smile was his altar, his most sacred place.
The potion's master was always talking to Lupin about making a basement in the house for that, they could do both magical and physical security mechanisms. Maybe one day he'd convince him it was worth it, that night at the Shrieking Shack, so many years ago, had been the last time it happened. He respected his fears, but he hoped one day the basement idea would take place.
In the meantime, however, Lupin kept transforming there in his room at the hospital. The last full moon was maybe the only time Snape went back to the hospital the next day to exchange a few angry words with the nurse that took care of that room.
Severus went to the hospital with Pixie for one of his consultations and when picking Remus up, he somehow knew there was something off about his lover. Even to Remus' standards, he was too quiet, he carried a troubled expression that was hard to decipher. Severus asked if someone had been rude or intrusive to him, but he said no in slightly distant way.
When at home, with Severus embracing him quietly, trying to warm him up, Lupin finally managed to ask for some extra help.
Snape frowned and widened his eyes but tried to remain calm. That was a word not so commonly used by Remus. He'd ask for care, hugs, kisses, cuddling, closer contact, and potions. But help, that made Snape alert on the spot.
"What is it, do you feel unwell?" Snape asked as softly as he could
The werewolf's voice was almost inaudible.
"I... think I hurt my arm, or back, I don't know" Remus replied exhausted, sounding troubled, knowing he couldn't sleep without notifying someone
Snape carefully took his covers away from him, feeling bad for not noticing before but it was so cold outside that Remus was covered in a few coats while leaving the hospital. Snape quickly located a stain of blood on the back of Lupin's sleeve and by the side of his chest. The scratch wasn't that bad in the chest, but the place where he first dig his claws was deep, although small.
Of course, it made Severus worry. He knew there had to be something wrong about him that day. But the room was all white, how is it that the nurse didn't see the blood while measuring his vitals to discharge him? How didn't he see maybe his blood pressure was a bit lower? Severus performed a spell to make whatever was left of the bleeding stop and asked Pixie to relax Remus' tensed muscles so he could sleep.
That afternoon, while coming to the kitchen to join them for his first meal of the day, they received him very lovingly. It felt great to have them so close, to know he was in a safe environment. This was almost their monthly routine, to have some late afternoon tea and make sure Remus was recovering well. It concerned them more because Remus had no recollection of the scratch after waking up in the afternoon until he changed his clothes.
"Maybe the wolf is frustrated because Teddy won't be like him, I remember feeling so selfish, angry at some point of the night," Remus said weakly from his chair while still wrapped in his light blanket
"Well, tell him to get used to it, Teddy surely can transform himself but not into a werewolf" Pixie said while mixing some cream and sugar in her coffee using a nonverbal spell on the spoon
Remus seemed to have some type of hangover for an extra day or two. But he clearly felt safe and thanked Severus and Pixie all the time for being so kind to him. This is why it was so hard for them to mention to Remus a few days later that within a month or two, Severus would be discharged from the need of having a carer.
They all celebrated, of course. Snape couldn't believe that it took him more than one year to be back on his feet. And at the same time, he also couldn't believe it took him only about a year and some months to be back on his feet. He lost count of how many times he thought he was going to die at the hospital, but here he was, not needing any potions anymore, no more fragments of poison in his blood, no episode for the last six months. He was even able to do some heavy magic now, able to take care of others. He was ready for it.
Remus approached Pixie after she gave him the news, the little witch was tearful.
"You know you will be always welcome here, right Pixie? You're an amazing person and an amazing witch. We would have never done it without you and all your help. I miss you already" Remus said while hugging her, feeling her tuck her tiny face and trembled lips in his chest. Lupin was so tall compared to her.
Obviously, Severus was in line to hug her too. They had done that already, they spoke of it while Remus was recovering from the full moon. But now that Remus knew, it felt more real. Made Severus start to get tearful himself, something that didn't occur when he first heard Ophelia talk to them.
Severus hugged her tightly right after Remus let go of her. It was endearing because she searched for Snape's embrace with her head low and eyes still closed.
"Severus, I... is she right? Are you really ok? Is there anything I could have done better? Can I still do better? Are you ready for real?" she said in a low voice, a little muffled
Severus and Lupin exchanged looks, Pixie was so young. Sometimes they forgot that. Severus had been her first real assignment, this was the first time she properly gave a long-term treatment to someone using her ability. And she was so hard on herself, they definitely forgot that way too often.
Severus loosened his embrace to look directly into her eyes, although she was shy for crying.
"You made my life possible again, Pixie. You saved me too many times, taught me so much. It couldn't have been anyone else, I can never retribute everything you did for me. If you ever feel unsure, about anything at all, just know I am only myself again because you are great at what you do. You are also a friend that kept us positive in spite of everything being so difficult. We love you very much, that room is always yours, whenever you feel like it" Snape said very touched to see Pixie still cared so much for him. They still had a couple of months but it felt so close already
She drank some sips of water that Remus conjured for her.
"Oh guys... I love you two as well, and Teddy, and everything we lived together in here. I promise I'll visit, come see me too wherever I am" she said with her voice failing her, breathing in sharp intervals while feeling that now Lupin was hugging them both
After those good, although difficult news were shared, Pixie had some time to reflect on her journey with them. She was sure the other doctors, nurses, and professionals also felt the same about seeing a patient get well and carrying on with their lives. But they were more than that, they were family to her. She couldn't remember feeling more fulfilled than when they had nice times together. Pixie had a family of her own, but very far away. She knew that to love them she needed to be a visitor rather than another one in the house or in town. Her life was just too alternative for her pure-blooded strict family.
That day they went to the dungeon meant a great deal to Severus, but it also meant the world to her. That was the first time she had the courage to ask her friend, now girlfriend, to spend time with her outside of their work at the hospital. And everyone she was closest to was in the same room, doing something she loved. She felt embraced and accepted for who she was meant to be. She would miss them, she already did.
Also, Magnus was someone she worked for, but he was also a dear friend after a few years of providing aftercare to him and his subs. She knew things about him that nobody else knew.
She soothed him when a scene was too heavy and he felt shaken by the level of sadism he had to perform when out of tune with it. Sometimes he cried over technical mistakes. He was like a hellish flame to everyone, but there were days in which he felt like a candle in the wind. Lonely, cursed, stranged for not being able to name a single person he ever met that resembled him. And Pixie kept all those secrets, always choosing to treat him as an equal. To Magnus it was refreshing to have normal conversations in which he didn't have to be the Dom, he could simply be Magnus and that was good enough for her.
However, with all that pondering, the tiny witch knew her intuition to be right, there was still something that she had to do before completing this beautiful journey with them. She wasn't sure of what it was, but when Remus approached her during a cloudly morning while she warmed her fingers in her mug, it all made sense.
Maybe Snape was finally assimilating he was no longer a spy since he didn't think anything of the fact Pixie wanted to spend her Friday afternoon with him in the Diagon Alley. From her side, it was true. She wanted to spend some quality time with him before moving out of their house and starting new things at the hospital. Snape was finally well to enjoy a complete afternoon outside, walking, talking to people in stores, buying a couple of interesting things. It made Pixie proud to see him so well, so willing to live.
She asked for some help choosing fabrics for a new dress at first. Snape assured her that he could spot mismatching tones of black from afar, but he knew nothing about women's clothing and how to match colors. Still, it was good to have a second opinion about her choices and she happily chose a rich red color that Snape also liked.
They walked without a clear destination until Flourish & Blotts opened, apparently they had reduced hours that week. They ended up spending some time inside a store Snape really liked. It sells mostly utensils for potion making and he'd hardly leave it without a new container or weirdly shaped little knife.
"What is it about potion makers and pickle jars?" Pixie teased while Snape waited for the wizard to pack his new acquisition
"It's potion master to you, miss Pixie," Snape said back in the same playful tone. "And I wouldn't expect you to understand the incomparable satisfaction of a shelf full of labeled, well-stored ingredients" he added with his eyes glistening like an excited child
Snape invited her for some coffee before they entered the book store. It was indeed very nice to finally spend some time with Pixie as a friend. Her company had always been great, but she was more relaxed and easygoing when she didn't have to worry about his health and how to react quickly if she needed to.
They had a pleasant rest of the afternoon there at Flourish & Blotts, being the type of people that could easily lose hours inside a book store chatting and going through different sessions. Snape took notice that this time around it was Pixie who had a special spark in her eyes when she saw a new shibari book in her favorite part of the store. It was a little expensive since it was published recently and those were the hardcover editions. But Snape made sure to gift her a copy, his way to show appreciation for all her hard work.
While they looked around in the only part of the place that had some books about the dark arts, Pixie saw some young witches and wizards entering the place.
"A little late for buying their materials, don't you think?" She casually asked Severus
"Not so much, you can get the best second-hand books by this time of the year," he said in an equally casual way
"Do you think about going back to Hogwarts to teach, Severus?" she asked while opening a book with an interesting sigil on the cover
"I would be lying if I said I don't think about it, maybe because my leave was very abrupt. But I believe I have already done enough around there. I'm ready to invest more time in research now that I have someone to sponsor my expensive pickle jars, as you gracefully call them" he said giving her a tap on the shoulder as he passed by to go pay for her gift
On their way back, Severus caught himself thinking about bringing something home for dinner. He didn't want to make Remus cook anything for them alone without being able to help. When he suggested that to Pixie, he finally realized she might be hiding something. It was an easy enough answer.
"Humm, well... I don't think we should worry about it, Severus. I mean, I'm going to go out with Aurora later and I think we still have some food from lunch. Should be enough for you both I think" she said rather clumsily
"Ok, then. She seems to be very pleasant to be around, by the way. Invite her over for some tea whenever you want, Remus thought she was nice as well" Severus informed, still intrigued of why Pixie suddenly didn't know what to answer
On their way back, the sugar plum fairy witch said she wanted to pass by the neighborhood's bakery, under the pretext of buying a sweet for Aurora. She secretly had to make sure -by all means- that they would not arrive home from the living room so they would use to floo network and walk the remaining path there.
Once again, Severus thought it was strange. They passed by a very famous bakery in Diagon Alley, why would she only think about it now?
Regardless of that, they finally reached home with a few handbags from their little purchases. It was getting dark outside rather quickly but only the light coming from the kitchen was on.
Miraculously, Pixie managed to distract Severus and make him accompany her with the bags to her bedroom. She thanked him for the afternoon and said she'd only get changed and leave soon after.
Remus finally joined their conversation by the bedroom door. Severus got distracted for a moment since Remus was looking so... handsome. He was wearing a nice combination of clothes, that was a new shirt he didn't see before. Severus also noticed he had shaved nicely and was wearing his favorite cologne.
"Looking good, Remus" Pixie said while getting one of her clean rock band t-shirts from her wardrobe
Severus was still looking at him, he got really distracted.
"Are we... going somewhere?" Snape asked narrowing his eyes suspiciously
To that Remus smiled. They left Pixie in her room and Severus followed his lover to their bedroom. Soon enough, they heard Pixie -and Teddy?- by the door and they were nowhere to be seen or heard inside of the house anymore.
"I know we don't really have a marked date, Severus. But I really wanted to make something special for us tonight, to celebrate. It's the anniversary of our first date, so I prepared a few things for us. I hope you're hungry" Lupin said with a tender smile
Severus always had a thing for Remus' surprises, he was the only one that he trusted enough to let him surprise him. Remus saw his lover's expression brightening up, it always did. That was a great start, the werewolf thought hopeful.
"You're always so thoughtful, Remus. I'd love to celebrate it with you. Do you think I could just get ready first? You look great, it would be unfair for me to have dinner with you like this" Snape said before giving him a kiss on the lips
"We have time, the food in the oven will be ready only in twenty minutes. I'll go check it in the meantime" he said giving him a gentle squeeze on the hand. "I'll wait for you downstairs"
Now, while Severus showered, shaved properly, and put on a nicer set of vests, he had this dreamy mindset Remus gave him whenever he decided to be in charge of things. Severus would usually feel uneasy about letting people do things for him, he liked to be in control. Or maybe he was just afraid of not being in control, something for him to ponder about in another moment when it's two in the morning and everyone is asleep. Either way, Remus built this trust with him. Every time he was in charge things went so well, they had amazing dates and holidays together.
Speaking of trust, now with his chosen clothes on their bed, while he dried his hair with a towel, Severus even remembered that recently Pixie taught Remus how to cast a spell that would help him sleep without potions. It relaxed him very much and triggered a more natural sleep than his potions, but it required nothing less than all his trust in Remus to work. Lucky for him, Remus knew that more important than knowing the spell, it was how to talk to him before it and how to cast it. When Snape was agitated late at night, or simply couldn't sleep, Remus would walk around the house with him, slowly taking them to the bedroom. They would lay down, talk freely for some time and when Severus felt ready, Remus would cast it using his hand movements. It consisted of clockwise motions that would increase over time and without even realizing it, Snape would fall asleep peacefully.
That is a spell he could maybe trust Pixie to perform, but no one else apart from Remus. After being attacked and spending so long at the hospital, giving up on his consciousness was rather hard, he was afraid of not getting it back. An unconscious fear, of course. So to allow Remus to silence his mind for him to get some sleep was quite a meaningful thing.
When Severus went downstairs he smiled from ear to ear.
"Oh Remus..." he said looking at his lover waiting for him while he stood by the kitchen door
They had a dining table, it was all set in the most beautiful way. But what always made Severus happy was the candles. They were floating everywhere, illuminating the environment in a very beautiful and very nostalgic way.
Remus came closer and kissed him. They were both very in love and they could feel it. But Severus got a hint, a little hint that maybe this was going to be a very special night. It was something in the way Remus looked at him. And for some reason, Severus knew. It was almost as receiving a brief visit from his future self only to deliver a single message.
"Pay attention, you will remember it forever"
And so he did. Approaching Remus with a strange certainty that seemed to come from memory rather than expectation. It's almost as if Severus knew his future self was there, watching them in a nostalgic way. He never felt something quite like it before, but he was thrilled to see how this would be written between them. Tomorrow he would be the ghost haunting the memory, but for now, he was seeing it for the first time and he didn't want to miss a second of it.
"I'm glad you liked it" Remus said although Severus was a bit quiet
The Slytherin just nodded, still smiling. This was such a lovely way to celebrate something so special for them. He liked it even more when he realized that Remus had transfigured the chairs to become a bench. A bench with two cushions side by side, just like on their first date.
All Remus could think of for the last months was how Severus meant everything to him, how much he wanted to be by his side. So he carefully planned and bought all the ingredients for their dinner, he wanted it all to be perfect.
And for Severus it certainly was. He could not have complimented Remus enough on his cooking but most of all, on his creativity. He would have never thought of that but it was brilliant. Remus had made small portions of things they ate on their dates throughout the years. At least the ones that they ate more often or the most memorable ones. The way they were presented was also very interesting, Remus cast a spell that would change the dish to the next one in line as soon as they covered the place with a porcelain cover. It was similar to some of the spells they did in Hogwarts at the Great Hall.
The night went very easily, they remembered all the lovely times they spent together from the start while drinking wine and eating delicious things. It was strangely delightful to remember how awkward they were on the first night they slept on the same bed, how they simply couldn't avoid each other after it. How they walked holding hands through Hogwarts at night when everyone was already asleep. Also when they spent the summer at Snape's house. Even the time at the hospital had a special place in their hearts, they were always there for each other, no matter what. And that is why Remus asked Severus to wait a moment before seeing his last dessert dish of the night.
Snape was trying to contain his expectations, breathing deeply while taking his hand slowly away from the cover. Remus had something to say. It became more than obvious during their night and conversations. To be fair, they had been hinting each other about it, expressing whenever possible that they made each other happy and that life was too good together.
"Severus, before we have the last dish... I just wanted to say a few things" Remus began, feeling a bit emotional but trying to hold on, just for a bit longer
Severus saw Remus turning slightly to face him, holding his hand in a gentle way. The werewolf suspected that Severus already knew what this was all about, but he seemed deeply touched regardless. Remus had never seen him like that before, he seemed very emotional under the surface. Strangely, Remus was not nervous. He was excited, happy, he had been waiting so long to reach this moment.
Snape nodded, indicating he could continue. He was too focused on holding his breath to do anything but hear the love of his life speak now.
"I have been thinking, recently more than ever, how much you made my life happier, more fulfilling, worth living. How you always took such great care of me, how you understand me in a way no one ever could. You made my hapiness and safety your priority, even when you had all reasons not to," Remus was going well so far, but this was getting harder, the emotions were strong and very truthful. Severus was very touched, he wouldn't let go of Remus' hand. "Whenever I feel I don't have any strength left in me, you are my shelter. I know we faced many things in life, but it doesn't matter what else is to come, for you, for us, I promise to never surrender. Everything we lived together are the happiest memories I have. And I want to have even more happy memories, and moments with you"
"Remus..." it was all Snape could mumble before the question came
The werewolf gave him his crooked smile, removing the cover of their dish. Severus covered his mouth with his hand, starting to feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes. It could be a dream, perhaps it was, but there it was: a small black box. Remus took it and did the only thing that was missing. He kneeled on his left knee, finally opening it and revealing its content.
"Severus Snape... Sev, will you marry me?"
Severus took a deep breath, just to be able to speak again.
"Yes, yes, Remus, of course I will" he said nodding and gesturing for him to come even closer, his voice gave him away on being on the verge of crying
Remus placed the ring on Severus's finger, which fit perfectly. He got up and was about to sit by his side but Snape was quicker and got up as well, hugging him tightly before they finally kissed.
That kiss was special. They took their time, they had plenty. It was intense too, they didn't have to be careful not to love each other too much in secret anymore. The bubble dreams they had seemed solid like crystals now. It was pure joy, although they couldn't avoid being tearful.
"I love you so much, Rem. I loved it, it was perfect. You're everything I could possibly wish for. You gave me a reason to live when I was afraid to close my eyes. You're the reason I wanted to get better and be better, I'm so glad to be here with you. I can't believe this is our life now" Severus said in a very affectionate way. Some words came more easily because he had been thinking as well about what he could say if he proposed. But now that Remus had asked his hand, Severus would never want it to be any different.
Their wedding, as they first envisioned it, was going to be a simple ceremony. However, the more they thought and felt grateful for having so many great people in their lives, it naturally grew into a more complete festivity. Turned out they had a very decent list of invitations to send, given they lived a rather quiet life these days.
The most charismatic trio from Hogwarts was invited, of course. Harry, Ron and Hermonie, among the other Weasleys. In fact, it was Harry who suggested that given their home had reached its full capacity for an event, they could do it in the Burrow. Especially now that it was rebuilt and practically begging for something to agitate the air around there.
The atmosphere of the ceremony was unexpectedly tender. Everyone would stop and watch them interact with each other in the most loving way, it was hard not to be touched by it.
There was an inherently nurturing quality to their relationship, it was undeniable by mere sight and some of their old students and members of the Order felt legitimately silly for never noticing it before. To Severus and Remus, it was almost comic to see everyone's reaction to them finally exchanging more romantic nuance in front of others. It was a secret of a lifetime finally being shared on their own terms and they couldn't get enough of it, kissing while they slowed danced throughout the night.
They had many memorable moments that day. When they first arrived and saw everything so beautifully decorated, when they reached different rooms to get ready, when they met again at the altar to exchange their vows but bluntly stared at each other at first glance, completely enamored by the ones they were marrying. Watching them by the altar was maybe everyone's favorite part, they were so committed, so focused, that they seemed to forget anyone else was there. Everyone was watching closely, but there was a moment, a tiny moment, that only they remember. Right after their kiss, right before they opened their eyes again to walk side by side, toward their new life, they simply took a moment to hold each other first. They exchanged some silent heartbeats, a tiny brush between their fingers a paused breath, and while taking in all the love they could, they were sure this is how things were always meant to be.
After that moment life was never scary again, for they knew that was an embrace they could always return to.
the end