#TD12
"Kai," I called, breaking the silence between us. We're inside the car now, on our way home from work. It was another hectic day and coming home with him, I felt at ease.
"Yeah?"
But there's something I've always wanted to ask him eversince we became officially lawyers.
"Your dad. Um, hindi naman siya katulad nila 'no?" I asked. My voice sounded tired and unsteady. I was nervous for his answer as well
I caught his eyes on me as I was staring outside the window. It was already dark outside. Some cars were passing by.
"What do you mean?"
"You told me na...nadamay lang siya kaya siya nakulong. You told me he was just a suspect. Hindi naman siguro malala yung ginawa niya di ba? Baka kaya siya nakulong kasi..alam mo naman yung justice system dito sa bansa. Hindi makatarungan. I mean, he didn't have a lawyer either so..." I smiled to ease the tension
"Do you think he's really innocent?" he asked
"I don't know know. I can't tell.."
"You don't know or you just refuse to believe the truth?" He looked at me when the light's turned red
My lips parted while looking at him. "You tell me Keith. Isn't this the reason why you studied law? To set your father free? You wouldn't do all of this if you think he's guilty. Why does it feel like your having doubts?"
He swallowed hard and shifted his attention back to the road. The cars started to move and he shortly began to drive. The ride was slow and I can feel the tension between us rising.
"If by any chance he's guilty, would you...stay away from me?"
I wasn't able to answer him right away. I was caught off guard by his question.
"Tris.."
I sighed. "We don't know the truth yet."
"But what if I told you I already know? What if my dad is a bad person. Lalayuan mo ba ako? Would you still stay with me?" his voice was calm yet tensed. His leg was tapping uncontrollably. Must be anxious with ny answer
"I promised you and to myself that I'll never leave your side no matter what. May it be ride or die. We'll stick with each other."
His head lowered down a bit relieved. "I need you Trisha."
My heart ached. I saw no hope in his eyes anymore, like he's close to giving up. Gusto kong palakasin ang loob niya.
I smiled then gently tapped his thigh to stop it from shaking. He eventually calmed down. "We'll be okay Keith. We'll be okay.."
***
"Congratulations Atty. Lopez. I've watched your trial last week. You did well kahit na baguhan ka palang. As your professor before, I'm very proud of you and to Atty. Sanchez as well."
I smiled at my prof, Atty. Mercado. "Thank you po Sir. Lahat naman po ng naituro niyo sa'kin ay naiapply ko po ngayon sa trabaho ko. Right now, I still can't believe I'm a lawyer!"
"You really are following your father's footsteps. Sabi ko naman sa'yo noon, kayang kaya mo. You just have to trust yourself." He then took a sip from his coffee. "How is it going with his case?"
"Uhm, I'm still thoroughly investigating it with the help of an Attorney. It's a very old case so it might take long to retrieve some information. I will not stop until I find the light at the end of this tunnel."
He nodded. "If you need help, andito lang din ako."
"Thank you po. Kamusta naman po kayo? Nagtuturo pa rin po ba kayo sa UP?" I asked then took a bite of my cheesecake
"I've already resigned. I'm actually leaving the country with my family. Balak namin tumira sa U.S. tutal e, andon din ang iba naming kamag-anak."
My eyes widened in surprise. "Talaga po? Woah! Goodluck po sa inyo. Ingat din po," I said. "Share ko lang din po. I remember when I was in highschool, mom actually wanted us to move abroad and she wanted me to continue my studies there until college. That was our plan when my dad died."
"Really? Hindi ka ba dapat maglalaw school?"
"Hmm, well, ang dami po kasing nangyari. I didn't want to live in the U.S. Mom and I had a huge fight about it. Long story short, luckily, I was able to convince my mom to study law and here I am, a lawyer," I said proudly. "That was the best decision for me. Wala naman po akong pinagsisihan."
He smiled back. "You are destined to become a lawyer then. Sa totoo lang, hindi lahat nabibigyan ng opportunity na tumira at makapag-aral sa ibang bansa. Ang dami na ngang gustong mag-migrate ngayon dulot na rin ng brain drain. Mahirap na maging empleyado ka lang dito. Para sa'kin e, maganda rin ang magiging kinabukasan mo kung natuloy ka sa abroad."
I bit my lip. "I guess I'm just lucky.."
"In a time like this, I'm scared for the future of my children and my grandchildren. Kahit sino namang magulang ay gusto maging maganda ang kinabukasan ng anak nila. You are lucky and privileged Beatrice. I'm not discrediting your hardwork. You earned this. You fought for this. But now, you have a bigger responsibility. You're fighting the people's rights including those who are still seeking for justice."
I looked down at my coffee. "Nakaka-pressure nga din po na buhay na ng tao ang nakataya.."
"Pinagdadasal ko rin na sana mabigyan na ng hustisya ang pagkamatay ng daddy mo," he said. "Your biggest fight is just about to begin. Stay strong Beatrice."
I slowly lifted my eyes on him. He was looking at me as if he can read my mind and the emotions flowing in my system. "I, uh...I'd be lying if I say that I'm not scared. I'm-"
"With everything that's happening right now, sana maging tapat ka."
I was about to speak but then the news on the tv here at the cafe caught my attention. The volume turned up and I almost threw up the coffee I drank when I saw the person on the tv.
"Makalipas ang ilang taon sa kasong robbery, kuha sa isang cctv footage ang plaka ng kotse na di umanong suspek sa isang krimen na robbery na nangangalang Joaquin Sanchez. Kasalukuyan siyang nasa kulungan at nasampahan ulit ng panibagong kaso na magpapadagdag ng parusang life imprisonment ayon sa korte. Kasalukuyan pa ring hinahanap at iniimbestigahan ng pulis ang iba pang kasabwat nito sa krimen. Ang ibang detalye ay ibabahagi ni Rhen Macalaunan."
My body froze on my seat. My vision turned blurry. I can't feel my surroundings anymore. Attorney's voice echoed inside my ears. My eyes were still fixed on the TV.
"Beatrice."
I startled when I felt Attorney touched my hand. I immediately pulled away. He got shocked at my reaction. I looked away and quickly fixed my things.
"I have to go now Attorney. It was nice meeting you again. Thank you po."
He was about to speak but I didn't bother to wait for it. I hurried my way to the exit. As I was searching my phone inside my bag, I bumped into someone on the door.
"Ate Trisha? I mean, hi Attorney!"
I looked up and I was surprised to see Mark. He's wearing a white button up polo and black slacks. There's a coat in his arms.
"Oh, hey Mark. Sorry. I have to go. Bye," I said and walked passed him. I heard him called me but I ignored him
Finally, I got inside my car. Keith then answered my call after a few rings. I quickly wore my seatbelt and began to drive.
"Hello Tris?"
"Kai! Buti nakasagot ka agad. Where are you?" I tried my best not to panic and focus on the road
"I'm on my way back. Why? Did something happen?" a mixture of panic and worry filled his voice
He must have thought that something happened to me but in fact, it's about his father. I know he already knew about it before I did.
"Have you heard the news? I don't know if it's true Keith pero...ang hirap paniwalaan. It's about your dad. He's-"
"I know. It's hard to believe that he's involve in a hit and run incident a few years ago."
My heart was beating wildly inside my chest. My grip tightened on the wheel. "Oh God, I...I-I don't understand. Paano nangyari yun? If it's true, masasampahan ulit siya ng panibagong kaso Keith. Another penalty will be added. Maaaring habang buhay na siyang makukulong."
"Fuck," he muttered a curse. He must have felt stressed and confused yet he tried his best to stay calm. "Just wait for me there, okay? I'll hang up now."
"Let's just meet at home. Hindi pwede sa office. I'm sure the people there are already talking about it. They must be aware of your father's case.."
"Alright."
After hanging up the call, I speed away to our condo. When I arrived, I quickly ran to his unit and as I was near, I heard someone shouting. There I saw him and his sister fighting in the living room. My eyes widened in shock. I finally went inside.
"What's going on here Keith?! I heard you shouting outside. What the hell?!"
He didn't spare a glance at me. He pinched the bridge of his nose, impatient. "Not now Trisha. I'm still talking to my sister," he said seriously
My lips parted. I looked at Kate who's crying right now and assumed that she might already found out about it through the news. "Did...did she already--" I immediately walked towards her and comforted her. "Hey Kate. Are you okay? Don't worry. Ate is here," I said softly, wrapping my arms around her. She hugged me back. I held her face. "Look, Kate. I'm sincerely sorry about your dad. I know how you feel. You're not alone in this. Alam kong mahirap. It's better if you avoid the news for now. I know words aren't enough but," I paused and glanced at Keith. "Maayos din ang lahat. Let's talk later okay? Mag-uusap muna kami ng kuya mo, hmm?"
Kate nodded and wiped her tears. I then guided her to her room. I went back to Keith and stood in front of him. "Seriously Keith?! Hindi mo kailangang sigawan yung kapatid mo."
He scoffed. His patience was on a thin thread. "We're just talking Tris. She's not a child anymore. She should understand by now how hopeless our situation is! She must learn how to accept it. Ayoko na rin siyang paasahin pa."
"Yes, I know that! But you can simply explain it to her in a nice way. She's still young. She's traumatized by what happened to your father. Imagine what she felt like when the police came to her house and arrested your father. Gano'n ka rin sa mama niyo noong namatay siya. You both feel the same way. You both suffered. Intindihin niyo rin ang bawat isa."
He sighed. "I'm trying my best Tris but fuck, napapagod na rin ako! I feel like I'm just wasting my time and energy. Everything just feels like it will all go in vain. All my hardwork, patience, time, lahat mapupunta sa wala. There is no other way anymore Tris. It will lead me nowhere. Everything is fucked up. And you know it," he firmly said
I swallowed hard while looking at him. Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes but my expression remained cold and stern. "Tell me, umpisa palang ba, alam mo na? Since when? When we were still in law school? From the beginning, you were already hopeless. Deep down, you already doubted your father. That he was guilty. You knew that's why you couldn't defend him."
Even if I know that these things would hurt him, I deserve to know too. Kate deserves to know. We're his family. Hindi niya pwedeng saluhin lahat.
"You really want me to say it? You're aware it will hurt me even more. Why?!"
"Kasi pagod na rin akong nakikita kang nagdurusa. Nasasaktan din ako. Whenever I look into your eyes, all I see is pain, guilt, and grief. You always say that you got everything under control but it's clear to me that everything is not going well. You've been like this eversince law school."
"Then why the hell did you even go to law school too?! Hmm? You told me you were traumatized when your dad died. You were scared that you might end up like him, so why did you suddenly change your mind? Is it because of me again? Awang-awa ka na ba sa'kin noong nalaman mo ang tungkol kay papa? Why do you always follow me whenever I go? Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa? Ayokong dumating sa punto na pati ikaw ay madamay," his voice raised
I sniffed as I fighy back my tears. My throat felt dry. It hurt to speak. "This is what I've always dreamed of Keith. Oo, natakot ako at naduwag ako. Iniisip ko yung kapakanan ko at yung magiging buhay ko kapag pinasok ko ito," I said. "But when you came back from the U.S. then you told me you were going to shift and study law para tulungang makalaya ang papa mo, and the fact that you didn't have any seconds thoughts about it made me think twice about myself too. Nagkaroon ulit ako ng lakas ng loob. I said to myself, I wanted to fight for my dad too. I also promised you that I will never leave your side no matter what because that's what you did to me too."
His brows furrowed, confused. He tried to find the answers in my eyes. I guess I've never really opened up wholly to him about it. "W-what?"
"He was killed Keith. My father was killed. They lied to me. They covered up the truth. He didn't get into an accident," I said. "All along, I believed that reason and I hated myself for it. This is why I became a lawyer. It's not only my dream but to seek justice for his death." I sniffed. His eyes remained on me. I hated to see myself like this in front of him. I felt guilty. I immediately wiped my tears away and walked passed him
There's no way I can go back to my unit and sleep everything away so I decided to go outside and get some fresh air. It was not long until Keith followed. He apologized right away.
"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I'm just tired and stressed out with everything."
We were envelop by silence. Soon, we both calmed down. I kept thinking about our fight, his father's case, and my own father's death. It all came all at once.
The fear, the trauma, the nightmares, everything..
"I was only eleven years old when my dad died. I told you before that I wanted to be a lawyer like him but when he died, I got scared but at the same time, I still wanted to...for him. The reports claimed that he got into an accident because his car engine was broken. I was young at that time so I believed it although a part of me couldn't accept that he died just like that. Years later, it was revealed that my dad got hit by a truck which caused his death.
It was a hit and run. Nabaon lang yung kaso niya. Hindi nakulong yung taong may gawa no'n sa kanya. Walang naging kasalanan si papa. I was angry and devastated. My mom too. She told me not to be a lawyer anymore. Natakot siya na baka matulad ako kay papa. I was torn. Napaisip ako kung itutuloy ko pa ba ang pangarap kong maging lawyer. Natakot ako pero gusto kong mabigyan ng hustisya ang pagkamatay niya once I became a lawyer. I investigated his case to learn more about his death."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" his voice was hoarse
"Ayokong dumagdag sa problema mo. Ayokong maging pabigat kasi alam kong hirap ka na rin sa kaso. I want to help you Keith. I know you never dreamed to become a lawyer in the first place, that you're doing this for your dad and sister. You inspire me Keith. Tinulungan mo kong makabangon ulit. You're one of the reasons why I still chose to fight and fulfill my dream to become a lawyer. I became stronger and more determined to seek justice for my dad and to other people as well."
"Because of you, I've learned to love my job too. I did not regret that I chose this path," he said softly
New batch of tears began to form in my eyes. I covered my face cause I didn't want him to see me cry again. "I wish I can do anything to help you Keith."
I then felt his strong arms wrapped around my shoulder and slowly pulled me closer to him. He laid my head on his chest, hugging me more. The palm of his hands gently caressing my arm. My body relaxed. I let out a soft breath. Slowly, I closed my eyes feeling the warmth of his body. I've never felt more safe between his arms.
"You already are. It's not your fault. We're okay, hmm? We're going to be okay." I felt his lips on my forehead. "I'm sorry. I love you."
***
The next morning, I finally talked to Kate after what happened. I knocked first then slowly entered her room.
"Kate?"
She was resting on her bed with some books on the side. She looked at me when I got inside.
"Hey," I smiled
She slowly got up her bed. "Ate Trisha.."
I walked towards her and sat on her bed. "How are you feeling?"
She smiled weakly. Her face was a bit puffy and her eyes were swollen from crying. Her hair was a mess too. I fixed it. She let me.
"Just tired, sad, angry. I don't exactly know."
I held her face. "Ate and Kuya is here okay? You're not alone."
She looked away. "I'm sorry Ate. You must be tired of seeing me like this. I feel like a burden to you and Kuya."
I held her hand. "No you're not my love. We're here to help you. I'm relieved that you're open about your feelings. Don't be scared to open up to us."
She looked at me. "I just want to help Kuya too and lessen his burden. If only we're around the same age then I can help him. I can understand him better. I'm still young and I can't fully understand his work and our dad's situation. I thought, maybe I pushed him too hard."
"Keith is really trying his best. I know it. I know you are too. Things will never be easy in our case. I can't assure you Kate. I can't promise you anything. I just hope that in the end, nothing will change between us, especially your relationship with your brother."
She sniffed. A small tear fell from her eye. I wiped it away. "Are you saying that we might never see dad again? Hindi na ba talaga siya makakalaya? Is he not innocent?"
"Kate.."
"Should we give up now? Is there any other way?" she said desperately
I closed my eyes and sighed. "I can't promise you anything but I just want you to know that kami ni Keith, hinding hindi ka namin iiwan. We love you so much."
"Thank you ate. I don't know where I'd be without you and Kuya. I'm sorry too," she gave me a small smile
"Come here," I said and pulled her into a hug. I gently caressed her hair. "You know. I've always wanted to have a younger sibling. You're the exact opposite of Keith. You keep each other balance. You're very mature for your age too. I love you both so much. I'm proud of you Kate."
She hugged me tighter. "I love you ate. Thank you for being my big sister. I feel better now."
I smiled sweetly. I looked up and saw Keith leaning against door, watching us. Kate and I broke our hug. I then stood up and went to Keith.
"Hey. How are you?"
He studied my face. "I'm quite better now."
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Hmm, not so long."
I chuckled softly. He looked at Kate behind me. I held his hand. "I'll let you guys talk."
I looked at Kate one last time before heading out of her room but I stayed behind the wall. I saw Keith walked towards her and sat beside her. A minute has passed and it was quiet. I took a peak inside. Keith was comforting her in silence. His arms wrapped around her shoulder while Kate's head on his chest.
He was not the usual type who would speak so much rather his actions already spoke volume. His presence can be healing.
"I'm sorry Kate. I know I have a lot of things I should be sorry for. I already want to say sorry if ever I can't fulfill my pro-"
"I love you Kuya no matter what."
Keith didn't expect that response from her but deep down it touched his heart. His chest must have hurt. He was fighting the urge not to cry. Maybe he thought he was worthless. Maybe he thought he didn't deserve her...or us. Maybe he's putting all the blame to himself for not fulfilling his promise to her and scared of the thought of being abandoned but what he didn't know was...no matter what happens, we'll still be on his side.
"I won't ever leave you again Kuya. I promise you that. I love you," Kate said and hugged him tighter
Keith smiled. A smile of relief. He planted a kiss on her forehead. "I love you more."
"I wish to grow up faster."
He looked at her, amused. "Why?"
She pouted. "Just so I can help you and take care of you."
"No. I want to be the one to take care of you. You will always be my baby sister even if you grow older."
"Okay!" she cheered
I couldn't help but to smile seeing them finally reconciled. I startled when my phone suddenly rang. I walked away from her room so I wouldn't bother them anymore before answering the call. I then got out of his condo unit. The hallway was empty.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Atty. Lopez?"
I straightened my back when I heard it was Attorney from my firm. "Speaking Attorney. Goodmorning," I greeted
"Yes, goodmorning. I have an important news to inform you. I know it's your day off today."
"Okay lang po Attorney. What's the news?"
My heart began to pound inside my chest and I already got the feeling of what he's about to say.
"Well, it's about your father's case. We've found our suspect."