I run as fast as I can, legs and lungs burning as I try to avoid debris from the house I grew up in that have every intent of crushing me. Just as I reach out to get in my car and drive to safety, the ground seems to disappear from under my feet. I fall through the air, though when I finally crash to the ground, I'm no longer at my house.
Where- is this the All Valley Sports Complex..? It is... this is where every tournament I've ever competed in has been held... somebody shoves me out of nowhere. Who- Sam? She holds a bottle of beer in her hand.. the kind my dad always drinks...
"Sam... why are you drinking?" I ask, confused. After all that happened because of her drinking... she puts a hand on my shoulder, laughing, though it sounds just a touch... maniacal..?
"Come on Parker," she says, "dance with us!"
She shoves me backwards into somebody new, sloshing beer all over me in the process. My back collides with the person, who promptly spins me around, one hand holding my own and the other at my waist. Eli..? It is... before he had his crazy transformation, before he was a complete asshole, before I pushed him away...
"Why did you leave me Parker?" He asks, "we could've been something."
Without warning, he slips his leg around mine, forcing my knee the wrong way. I cry out in pain. The floor disappears again and this time, he comes with me.
When we finally crash down to the ground once more, he pins me beneath him, though when I look up at him. He's not Eli, he's Hawk, smirking down at me.
"We could've been something, Princess," he says. With one last smirk, he closes the distance between us, pressing his lips mine, rendering me frozen with shock.
But when he pulls away, it's not him... it's Robby... my heart seems to skip many beats. What just happened, how did they switch?
"Robby..?" I ask as I sit up, very confused. He starts to say something, but then his expression shifts and he pushes me to the side, standing up. What- oh. Miguel stands across from him and before I know it, they start fighting. I try to stand up, but my knee screams out in pain, refusing to let me go anywhere. Where am I now? The school? What's going on?
"Why didn't you help me Parker?!" Miguel calls out as they continue to fight. Before I can give any sort of answer, Robby kicks him over the railing. I ignore the pain in my knee shouting at me to stop, and dive after him, not realizing that in my efforts, I've fallen too. I try to grab something; anything, but my attempts are futile.
After falling for what feels like forever, as if I was falling in slow motion, I crash hard once again. I clutch my injured knee as I sit up, surveying my new location. I'm on a stage... I don't recognize it... maybe I've done a concert or a show choir competition here... A single spotlight shines down on where I sit on the stage. The theater is empty, but the light somehow begs for me to stand and sing or dance or do martial arts or something. But I can't move. I try to, but it's like my body is stuck to the ground.
Suddenly. The light clicks off, leaving me in complete and utter darkness. No.. no.. turn the light back on! What's going on?! Why is this happening?! A few moments later the light clicks back on, but this time it doesn't shine on me, it shines on someone in the audience. What..? The theater was empty... there was nobody here but me...
I look a little closer, then instantly recognize something. That's the chair that's been in my house for what feels like forever.. the chair my dad always sits in..
"Parker!" He shouts, sounding just like he did on my birthday.. although his seems to... echo, in a way, almost as if the auditorium is much bigger than it actually is... as if it's not quite here.
"Parker!" Someone shouts again. I shoot awake, sitting up and putting my hands up in a guarding position, ready to fight off whatever's come to get me next.
"Woah woah woah, hey, sono solo io! (it's just me)" They say. The spots that came with sitting up way too fast finally clear, but the pain is still very much present. Mr LaRusso?
"What are you doing here?" I ask. I can't get what just happened out of my head... it was just a nightmare... and a weird one at that. Usually my nightmares and dreams aren't like that... they're way more abstract... I mean with all that's happened I'm no stranger to nightmares, but they're usually not that... jarring..
"I was gonna ask you the same thing," he says back. My heart pangs. I've been avoiding him since I last saw him before the party... I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. What am I supposed to do? Just be like 'oh yeah I've deliberately been ignoring you haha'? What-
"Oh my god, Parker!" He exclaims, finally seeming to notice the blood on my shirt, "what happened?!"
"I'm okay, I'm okay! See? I- bandaged... it..." I say back, trailing off as I see that red has soaked through the gauze, "mierda (shit)..."
"We need to get you to a hospital," he says. Wait.. no.. no no no.
"No.. no, it's too expensive. I can't afford to- I'll just get butterfly bandaids and fix it myself," I protest, holding the wound tightly. It's fine, I'll be fine.
"No, Parker... remember what Robby said at the hardware store about the shelf bolts..?" He asks. My heart pangs again. Robby...
"In life, I can't do everything on my own and I have to rely on other people..." I say quietly. The image of his side grin taunts me with the fact that I don't know what will happen to him, bringing tears to my eyes. Mr LaRusso looks at me with a sad, but urgent look, to show that I need to understand.
"You're hurt Parker... hell, you're bleeding through your bandages, come on... I know it's felt like you've had to take care of yourself for a while.. but we're here for you.. don't push us away..." he says.
"Mr LaRusso you don't understand-"
"Ah ah ah, I don't wanna hear it. C'mon, you need help," he says. I shake my head, but dark spots start to cloud my vision and I sway heavily where I sit. He puts steadying hands on my shoulders.
"Okay... you win..." I groan. But if I go into medical debt because of this... I'm gonna jump into the sun.
——
I'm so glad I was passed out in the car so now that I'm actively being stitched up, I'm wide awake. They numbed the area, but I still don't like it.
I hum gently through what seems like a whole playlist worth of snippets from random songs as they carefully stitch the wounds. Right now, all I can think about is Robby. Whether it be the grin he had that always made me smile, or the hurt look on his face when he found out that Sam kissed Miguel, or the look of pure anger in his eye before he kicked Miguel over the railing, or the mystery look that I could never figure out, or the way he looked at me before he kissed me, or the fact that kissed me on the cheek and almost kissed me, or doing kicks on the tree, or competing in the tournament together, anything. Everything... no matter what I do, I can't get that stupid, stupid boy out of my head...
They finish their work, then give me a sort of briefing on how to take care of the stitches and what I can and cannot do.
"Must've been some fight," one of the nurses says in an effort to lighten the mood as she cleans up any blood that still remains. All the people I fought flash through my head, the scene ending with Miguel falling from the railing. Why didn't you help me Parker?
I just nod in response, not particularly in the mood to explain that one friend slashed me across the torso, one got kicked over a railing by my other friend, and that friend ran away after almost kissing me.
"Is there anything else that happened that we should know about? Any bad hits?" She asks. My heart beat speeds up a little again.
"Can I sit up?" I ask, my voice crackly with tears. My back really hurts and I need her to see where I was shoved into those lockers.
"Yes, but be very gentle, and try to sit up straight so you don't scrunch up the wound," he says. I give a small nod, then sit up very slowly, trying to keep my back straight and not slouch even though weariness weighs down on my shoulders.
"I've been in martial arts for eight years now.. I tried not to take any hits..." Aisha shoved me into the lockers, "but a girl shoved me into lockers a couple times..." she punched me in the nose, "and she punched me in the nose. It bled some, but it stopped after a bit..." Hawk hit my arms hard, "there was a boy who hit really hard so when I blocked with my arms it kinda hurt..." Miguel kicked me in the ribs, "and there was another boy who kicked me in the ribs... I put some ice on it earlier but it still hurts," I explain, vividly recalling each hit as I say them.
"The bruises on your back do look pretty nasty," she says. I haven't actually seen them yet... but I believe her. It hurts.
"You said you were kicked in the ribs?" She asks. I nod. I'd like to think he would regret it, but I guess I can't be sure.
"I think we should take you in for some X-rays, just to make sure that everything is okay.." the nurse says, "I'm going to go get one of the doctors; I'll be right back."
With that, she walks off, leaving me alone with my pain and my thoughts. I can't help but peer down at the stitches on the left side of my body. My breathing hitches for a second. Oh my gosh... that looks awful... I can't help but remember a text conversation I recently had with Tory...
Tory
-How do you do it?
Do what?-
-Deal with all the shit that
you've had to go through
-Aren't you angry?
-How do you hang around
someone like Sam? Someone
who's had basically a perfect life?
I guess it's kinda weird when-
they'll never really understand
what you've been through, but
I have Robby for that
-What do you do about the
anger then? There's no way
in hell you just bottle it all up
I've learned to sort of channel-
my anger into power and whatnot
during training and music
I make it make me better-
-Huh... nice
When I said to channel anger... I didn't mean like this... I didn't mean like this...
"Knock knock," someone says. I look up. Mr LaRusso... I hang my head as he walks in, sitting at my bedside.
"Hey," he says. I feel bad. I ignored him... I straight up declined one of his calls yesterday... I hope he's not too mad at me.
"Hey..." I reply quietly. This is so awkward... can I pass out again?
"Sam said your dad picked you up from the school.. what were you doing at Miyagi-Do?" Mr LaRusso asks. Come on... he should know me better than that..
"You really think I would get in a car with my dad after everything that happened? I panicked... I went there because... I don't know.." I say, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. When the thing freshest on my mind was fighting, it wasn't hard to think of the place where I trained to defend myself almost everyday during the summer break.
"Why didn't you wait for us at the school? We could've helped you sooner,"
"I... I don't know. I'm sorry. I was panicking... I was kind of involved in the biggest fight I've ever been in where people I thought could be my friends tried to and did hurt me, but you know, no big deal," I say, coming off more harsh than I would ever mean to, "I'm sorry... all you're trying to do is help me... I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I should be the one apologizing to you. All I wanted to do was teach kids like you to defend yourselves and you got roped into this huge, stupid rivalry," he says, tears audible in his voice, "Miyagi-Do is gonna close down..."
My heart pangs. I gained friends again for the first time through Miyagi-Do... I've found balance so many times through Miyagi-Do... Miyagi-Do was my home... tears finally roll silently down my face.
"It's probably for the best..." I say quietly. After what Robby did... it's probably best to lay low... not associate with the karate school until things die down a little... I don't know... I also don't know if I should go back there again for a while... thinking about it makes my heart speed up... going back and doing karate might send me into a panic attack and with all that's going on right now.. I don't need any more stress.
"Yeah... what are you gonna do? About tae kwon do I mean," he asks. I haven't though about it until now...
"I can't quit... I've been doing it for half my life... I've been talking to my instructors... I think I'm gonna start working there, especially since I'll be out from sparring and maybe regular class- they've wanted me to for a couple years now. I don't want to pull out the stitches... and I might have a cracked or broken rib.." I explain. He nods a little. I hope he doesn't ask about the job... I think I'm gonna quit my job at the dealership... I love the LaRussos.. but I think it's better if I just... leave. Maybe I'll come back at some point... but right now... it's just a mess.
"I'm so sorry, Parker... and about the medical bill, don't worry about. I have it covered," Mr LaRusso says. Oh thank goodness... the last thing I need right now is medical debt.
"Grazie, Mr LaRusso," I say, relieved. He gives me a small smile.
"We're in this together whether we like it or not, right?"
———
So I definitely have a cracked rib, but luckily for me it's not too bad and it's not all the way broken. I just have to take pain medication and take it easy for a while. I'm a sucker for bad decisions when it comes to my health, so I'll still do things like patterns because I can't risk to lose my strength and rhythm of tae kwon do. The stitches feel weird. It hurts, but I'll be fine. It hurts no matter how I sleep because I have bruises all over, so that's a fun time. I'm so grateful for that.
I had to stay overnight because it was so late when I got here. I can't say I'm mad about it. It was weird though. Mr LaRusso checked up on me after the X-rays but then had to go he with Sam, so he told me to text him whenever I'm gonna leave.
"Hola mi nieta (hello my granddaughter)," somebody says. I look up sharply.
"¡¿Abuelita?!" I marvel, absolutely shocked. I haven't seen her since Christmas! She smiles and crosses over to me, placing a light hand on my shoulder in place of a hug, which I greatly appreciate, because I don't think I could handle one right now.
"¡Ha sido para siempre! ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí (It's been forever! What are you doing here?)?" I ask, speaking faster than I meant to. I'm just surprised. They don't usually make the drive down here, what's going on?
"Parker..." she says gently, sitting down at my side. Oh no... whats going on? Why does she have that face..?
"I know everything that's going with your house mi corazón... I'm staying down here to take care of you. You don't have to worry. We were able to find an apartment in Reseda, so you won't be moving too far. I'm sorry we never told you... your dad said he called you, but I don't expect you to answer to him after what happened. It's okay, princesa," she says, "you're safe now."
I let my head fall on her shoulder, unable to stop tears from spilling out of my eyes. You're safe now... a feeling of relief washes over my whole body. Maybe I'm injured and one of the things I love doing most has been violently ripped out of my hands and I've stumbled across some new trauma and my best friend kicked my other friend over a railing and then ran off to who knows where and I haven't exactly made up with one of my only other friends and I haven't talked to her since before class started yesterday and a lot of things are going to shit, but at least I'm not homeless. At least I have a place to live...
"Gracias a Dios (thank God)," I whisper through tears. I sit up, wiping away tears.
"How did you do it? It should be impossible to find an apartment in leas than two weeks, much less close on one," I ask, awed. She grins back at me.
"Never underestimate your abuelita," she says. And I can't help but grin back for the first time since Tory came over the intercom and everything turned upside down.
—
It was great to talk to my abuela again before she had to go and sign off on the apartment. I feel like it's been forever, and I got to see pictures of the interior of the apartment. It's certainly nothing fancy, but I don't even care. It honestly feels perfect right now. Moving will be a hassle, especially since it'll be harder to do heavy lifting until the stitches get a little better, but I guess a bright side to getting suspended for two weeks is that I'll have at least a little time to settle in.
After that, I'm gonna try and see if I can get any leads on where Robby could be. He obviously didn't go to Miyagi-Do right off the bat, because I would've caught him there or he would've caught me, unless he saw my car parked in the front and turned around. It's hard to get him off my mind... everything from the good to the bad... it's all there. I know he got expelled from the school... I don't know how to feel. On the one hand, he kicked Miguel over a railing... he could be dead... but on the other, Sam kissed Miguel and also just as it seemed like his life was getting back on track. he was starting school again, he had Sam, he had Mr and Mrs LaRusso... and now he has nobody... I just don't know how I feel. I do know that I should at least try to stop thinking about him before I make myself cry or go crazy.
"Parker..." a voice I haven't heard in person in months says. I look up as fast as I can, heart stopping. There, in the doorway of the room, stands my dad. My eyes widen, my breathing grows heavier, my heart pounds hard and fast. My muscles all tense up, seemingly preparing for whatever my brain chooses to do, whether it be fight or flight. Fear sweeps across my body, anger right alongside it, creating a tidal wave of chaos that threatens to destroy me completely.
Parker... mija...
"What are you doing here?" I ask, tone bitter and cold. Last time I ever saw him, he was chasing after me, ready to attack me... again...
"I just wanted to see you one last time," he says. I narrow my eyes a little, searching his face for any tells of dishonesty or malice. He doesn't sound drunk... that would be a first.
"Why? Gonna try and kill me again?" I ask, no laughter in my voice. With his track record... it's almost a serious question.
"I've never wanted to kill you," he says. Oh that's rich. Yeah, right, and I've never wanted to sing on Broadway.
"Oh yeah, that was made really clear when you hit me across the face and then chased after me just because I did karate," I retort.
"I made a mistake, mija", he says, walking further into the room. I close my hands into tight fists, ready to strike the second he does. Mija... if he wants to call me his daughter then maybe he should act like a good father.
"No. No, you don't get to decide to drink and drink everyday for years, even after my brothers get killed because of it, then torment me and make me feel worthless and hit me across the face then decide that it's all just a 'mistake' when it's convenient for you. I tried to believe that you would go straight. Every time you told me that things were gonna get better, I held out hope that they would, because some stupid, naive part of me thought that it would actually be true. But you never changed. You never set yourself straight. I did everything I could to be a good daughter. I got the groceries, I worked a job as soon as I was old enough so that our house would get seized because you couldn't pay bills since you spent all your money on drinks. I put up with your shit for three years after mamá died because I thought things would get better. I was all you had left. And you treated me like you'd rather have the beer for a daughter. So you don't get to show up here with 'it was a mistake' and 'mija', because it's not going to work the way it used to. I held out hope for you. And my life didn't get better until you were out of it," I say, finally releasing all the bottled emotions I've had for months, for years. Words I've rehearsed over and over again in my head until I've gotten sick of them. And now they're finally out.
He looks almost hurt. I can see tears in his eyes. The slight tremor of the body when someone is doing everything in their power to keep themselves from crying.
"I- I know I've been horrible to you. And I know it's too late... but I'm sorry. You're right. You're all I have left. I should've never done anything that would make me lose you... that's why I'm going to rehab. I need help... I want to be there for you again. I want to be better for you," he says. Wait.. what? He's going into rehab..? Just like Robby's mom... I bite back tears, looking off to the side as I do so.
"We both know that's a step in the right direction, but you hurt me. And maybe you really do go straight this time, but I can't trust that you will until you prove it. You can't just heal a bullet wound with a bandaid..." I say, swallowing down tears, my tone growing colder and colder as I go, "so stay out of this hospital room and stay out of my life."
And with me last hurt look, he does, leaving me alone, wondering when the nightmares will truly end.
• • •
A/N: not the drama- anyway! Sorry for the wait! Wattpad was doing something wack for a day or two (and I've been busy), but if you'd like to skip the wait, the entire story (through the end of season 4) is up on Quotev under my account that I will link in my profile :)
as always, stay safe and take care of yourselves :)