"Ozan," she shook him gently, "what happened?"
"Something I ate," he mumbled. "Throwing up...a lot...headache."
"Probably from the company you were keeping, " she muttered to herself, her mind flashing back to him and that girl in the club.
"Wait, let me get you something for the pain and the fever, and your stomach. I'll be right back."
He grabbed her hand feebly - even if this was a dream, he didn't want to let go.
She rubbed his hand warmly, "I'll be back, I promise."
At least there was an upside to living in this apartment, she thought, as she went through the medicine cabinet, she knew exactly where everything was.
There were so many upsides Esra, the location of the medicine cabinet is the least of them. come now - her inner voice admonished her. Tamam, she nodded to herself, she couldn't deny it.
She came back with the medicines and a cold compress for his fever. She managed to make him sit up briefly so she could give him the medication and then lowered him back on the bed, her arms holding him under his shoulder, her hair accidentally falling on his face.
Ozan inhaled deeply and sighed. "Always the same," he murmured. Her scent, the smell of her hair, he would know it anywhere, remember it forever.
He held her hand as she drew away and she huffed out a small laugh, "I'm not going anywhere..."
She watched him sleep for a while, surprised at the sense of peace it brought her. Her head and heart had been so all-over-the-place these last few days.
She found herself nodding off too and lowered her head to the bed, her face touching is arm, her hand still held in his.
Ozan woke a little while later, trying to place the sound of breathing that wasn't his own, and the warmth of someone's breath on his arm.
He turned his head slightly and took in Esra's sleeping form - the events of the last few hours slowly coming back to him.
How was it that she looked even more beautiful asleep? He reached with his free arm and tucked a stray strand of hair carefully behind her ear, his thumb brushing her cheek.
It hurt to have her here...and not have her. He needed for her to leave so he could drown in his own misery unencumbered.
He let out a deep sigh, and she stirred in response, her eyes blinking as she tried to find her bearings.
"Ozan?" she said sleepily, lifting her head slowly and taking in his face. "Oh you look much better, you had me scared for a bit there. Let me make you some soup. I bet you haven't eaten in a really long time. Let's see if you can keep it down."
She hurried out of the room even as he called her name.
She barely let him speak as she fed him little spoonfuls of soup, and finally he gave up trying. He knew she was trying to stall the inevitable conversation and he didn't have the energy to fight her.
When she was fully satisfied that he had eaten enough and had his second dose of medication, she put away the soup and she patted his arm, "Good job."
He smiled, amused. "You enjoy this, don't you?"
"What?" she asked wide-eyed.
"Taking care of people. Making them feel better."
"Yaani.." she blushed a little - there he went, being right about her again.
"I would do it for any of my friends." She emphasized friends, trying to drive the point home at every turn.
He laughed at that, she was unrelenting.
"When did it start, this food poisoning? Why didn't you call anyone?"
"I really didn't think it was so bad. And then I kind of lost track of time after I threw up for the 10th time."
She clucked at him disapprovingly. "You should have called me...."
He opened his mouth to protest.
"Fine," she interceded, "then you should have called Musa and told him that you were sick....and that I had moved out." She threw that in there because it still bothered her that it wasn't even important enough to him to share it with his friend.
"Esra...," he started apologetically. How could he tell her that he was putting it off because he was dreading his friend's sympathy, or because he had barely come to terms with it himself. "I just wasn't ready to discuss it with him yet and then the opportunity didn't present itself," he finally said, hoping to lay the conversation to rest.
"It must have been something you ate at the club when you were with Ceyda," she said pettily.
"You saw me when i was out with Ceyda?" he asked, confused.
"The girl at the club on Friday?" she asked equally confused, she knew he had seen her.
"Oh Şema!" he said the furrow in his forehead clearing. He was certain he hadn't seen her at the park when he met Ceyda.
"The Şema from the mohalle?"
He nodded.
And then realization clicked. "There's a Ceyda too?" she asked incredulously. What was up with this serial dating? This was not the Ozan she knew.
He shrugged sheepishly.
"Probably met a Ceylan in between I'm sure," she muttered to herself, now seriously annoyed.
"Hmmm?"
She shook her head, "Nothing. So you are really jumping head first into the dating pool huh?"
She tried but she couldn't keep the hint of irritation out of her voice. What happened to being obsessed with her, she thought grumpily.
He looked at her thoughtfully, like he could see the wheels in her head turning, and it made her flush. She really didn't need him to know her so well, not right at this moment. She was self-aware enough to know that she had no reason to be snarky.
"There's really no point in me waiting, is there?"
"Hmm" she replied non commit-ally.
"But you still don't want to be friends..." She was miffed. So he was dating other women, clearly moving on from whatever it is he supposedly felt for her, but he still didn't want her in his life.
"Esra'm..." he said softly, patiently. He could tell she was going through conflicting emotions and he felt terrible that he was the reason.
The Esra'm was unintentional, she knew, but it made her toes curl and her stomach flip. Dammit, he wasn't allowed to say her name like that if he didn't want to be her friend.
"Everyone is my friend, bilmiyormuşum??" She said, exasperated. "Like, no one has ever not wanted to be my friend!"
"I'm aware," he said, the corner of his mouth lilting up into a teasing smile.
Oh yeah, he was very aware. Growing up it drove him insane with jealousy the way she always attracted the entire mohalle into her circle and made each person feel important. Her affections were spread far, albeit rather thin - never too much for any one person. Well except for Zeyno and Elif...and once upon a time, him. And she was right, everyone did love her - him, maybe most of all.
"I have my big presentation for my project plan to the top execs tomorrow," she said suddenly remembering. "I should really go and prepare."
Her eyes softened and she grabbed his hands and squeezed, "thank you...again."
"It was not a big deal," he said a little shyly. He was always a little tongue-tied when he was the singular focus of her affection.
"But..." she added dramatically, "I'm not going to leave unless you promise we can be friends. I'll stay right here, and you are too weak to make me go...so there!" she waved her hands with a flourish of finality.
"Esra...," he said helplessly. See, this is why you should cut all ties, the sensible part of his brain argued. He was too weak in her presence, a whole sucker for whatever little affection she showed him.
"You have to go!" He tried again.
"Yeah...nope." She sat back on the chair and picked up a book pretending to settle in.
"Why?" he asked finally.
She became serious, taking a moment to frame her thoughts. "Because you're a good, kind person, a true friend. And you care for me just like I care for you. I want you in my life, and i won't let a temporary physical attraction ruin everything."
She scanned his face, "anyway your mom was obviously exaggerating about what you used to feel in your teenage years. And I'm truly sorry for what I said to you in the the heat of the moment, but you have clearly moved on from those feelings....right?"
He looked at the hopefulness on her face. He would never move on, but apparently it's the one thing she really wanted to hear. He felt himself caving - just like he always did with her.
"Right..." he said finally, agreeing with her.
Esra felt an uneasy knot of disappointment in the pit of her stomach. "Good!" she said with exaggerated cheerfulness as she collected her things.
"I'm going to leave now." She wagged her finger at him in warning, "Keep me updated on how you are feeling, tamam mi?? I'll check in on you everyday. Maybe we can go for a movie on Friday? Or grab dinner?"
"Uh actually, I said I would meet Şema again for dinner next friday," he said looking a little sheepish. It was the first excuse he could think of. But his heart simply could not handle having Esra be a constant presence in his life, and if he had to lie his way out of it, then so be it.
"Oh!" she replied, her face falling ever so slightly, before the mask of cheerfulness was back.
"Great! Awesome! That is excellent news! You should tell your mom, I'm sure she'll be super thrilled! " she blabbered the entire time as she gathered all her stuff and walked to the door of his room. "I'll see myself out then!"
He nodded, "İyi geceler, Esra."
She nodded back, swallowing past the large lump in her throat, "Iyi geceler, Ozan."
Notes (2022-06-09)
Hey all, just a heads up that I will be finishing out the story in 2 more chapters. I think it is heading to its logical conclusion and there are only so many ways to keep two soulmates apart :)
I am also traveling next weekend so the next chapter will be out the week after.