"When there's no need to bleed"
* * *
Penelope woke up with a quiet yawn, covering her mouth as she opened up her dry eyes. She flinched due to the uncomfortable feeling, rubbing her eyes as she slowly sat up. Her head pounded, signaling that she needed a cup of coffee. As she yawned once again, she glanced over at the nearby dresser and let out a groan.
"We really need to stop doing this," she whispered, feeling disgusted with herself.
"Do we?" James asked, sitting up next to her. He grinned and kissed her bare shoulder, earning a bashful grin from her.
"I'm the worst," Penelope sighed with a shake of her head.
"You're far from being the worst. Do you want some coffee?"
"I want some self-control."
James laughed as Penelope turned around to look at him. His dark hair was messy and a crooked smile was fixed on his face. He reached out and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind Penelope's ear.
"We're not a couple," Penelope reminded James.
"Right," James said. "We just sleep together, I got it."
"And you're ok with that?"
"As long as I get to wake up with you in my bed, yeah I'm ok with it."
Penelope scoffed and brushed James' hand away. She threw the blankets off of her body, grabbing her discarded clothes off of the floor and putting them back on.
"I don't care how charming you are, we can't date," Penelope said, buttoning up her shirt.
"We can't?" James asked. "Or is it that you just don't want to?"
"We can't. It's unprofessional."
"Reid and Snow are married, co-worker relationships aren't frowned upon. How are we any different?"
"Because I'm older and you were once my intern, people will look at us funny."
"Don't act like people don't already know that we sleep together."
Penelope whipped her head around to look at James. She narrowed her eyes, picking her glasses off of the nightstand and putting them on. She adjusted her glasses, her view of James now crisp and clear.
"We're good at hiding it," Penelope mumbled.
"We work with profilers, my dear," James said, grabbing his glasses off of the nightstand. "Trust me, they know."
"First of all, I am not your dear, and second...no they don't!"
James shrugged, "Ok."
Penelope shook her head, ignoring James as she shimmied back into her fleece cardigan and bright pink skirt. She peered around the room before finally finding her heels, grabbing them, and shoving them back on.
"Leaving so soon?" James asked as Penelope grabbed her purse.
"Yes," Penelope confirmed. "I-uh-I have places to go...places to be."
"Like where?"
"Are you always this nosey?"
"I was just asking."
Penelope huffed, "I'm going to get coffee, and then I'm going to go home and take a long bath. Then I'll probably watch Sex and the City and maybe after that, I'll order dinner from an amazing seafood near my apartment."
"That sounds nice."
"Mhm."
The blonde woman gathered everything back into her purse, pulling her hair back into a low bun before smoothing out her outfit. She opened up the bedroom door as James pulled on a pair of pants.
"Not even going to say goodbye?" James asked.
"Goodbye, Dr. Adonis," Penelope said, slowly turning around. "This was...fun. I-I'll see you around."
"Dr. Adonis," James scoffed. "Really, Penelope?"
"I'm sorry, James. I just feel really uncomfortable right now. I'm just going to go, ok?"
James pressed his lips together and tilted his head. He studied Penelope's face for a couple of seconds before shrugging.
"Alright," he whispered. "See you around."
Penelope inhaled sharply before turning on her heel, making her way out of James' room. She made her way toward the front door before hearing a sudden knock. She stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widening as she slowly turned to look back at James.
"Who the hell is that?" Penelope hissed.
"Shit," James cursed, slapping his forehead. "I'm supposed to meet the guys out for lunch, Spencer and I were going to carpool."
"That's Reid?"
"Mhm."
"He can't see me like this! He can't see US like this!"
"Just...hide in my room."
Penelope took off her heels and ran to James' room, shutting the door quietly as James approached the door. He attempted to tidy his hair before answering the door, plastering a smile across his face.
"Reid!" James smiled. "What's going...what's up?"
"Just here to pick you up," Spencer said. "You're still on for lunch, right?"
"Yeah, of course!"
"Did I wake you up?"
"No! I've been up."
Spencer narrowed his eyes, "Oh, I just assumed considering that you're...shirtless."
James looked down and forced a laugh, looking back up at Spencer as he stared at him in confusion.
"Silly me, forgetting my shirt," James laughed. "I'll throw one on and I'll be right out, ok?"
"Are you alright?" Spencer asked.
"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, you just seem off."
"Do I?"
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows before letting out a gasp, backing away from the door. James swallowed roughly and scrunched his eyebrows together.
"Do you have someone here?" Spencer whispered.
"What?" James almost exclaimed. "Why would I have someone here? That would be crazy! I am single like SUPER single."
"Right."
Both Spencer and James fell silent as they stared at each other. James' cheeks felt like they were on fire.
"I'll be in the car," Spencer said. "Just...get dressed."
"On it!" James said, slamming the door.
He fell breathless as his back pressed up against the door.
* * *
The bartender slammed an ice-cold beer down on the counter as Luke slid him a $5 bill and took the tall drink back over to the table the rest of the men were sitting at. He plopped down next to Matt as he bit into the pulled pork sandwich he was eating.
"She's the sweetest thing," Matt gushed, Luke realizing that he just sat down in the middle of another one of Matt's rants about his new baby. "She loves The Beatles, she giggles each time the song Blackbird comes on."
"I don't know how you're surviving with 5 children in your house," Rossi said with a shudder. "That sounds like my personal hell."
"My wife is amazing, that's how I'm surviving."
Luke swallowed his cold beer, "I like having one kid."
"You like having one kid until you're the one that constantly has to play with them. A sibling keeps them occupied!" Matt exclaimed.
"I think Aurora and I are happy with just Julian," Luke laughed. "You should see how good he has gotten at walking. And how dark his hair has gotten! It's so curly and thick, just like mine."
"That's like my grandson," Rossi chimed in. "He's the most energetic little thing, which is so surprising considering how tiny he is."
"My kids are too," Matt added. "Sugar is completely banned in my house because my kids just don't know how to handle it. Just one cookie is enough to make them bounce off the walls for the rest of the night. All they want to do is play."
"Tell me about it," Spencer laughed. "Emma's new favorite game is salon, which entails a long process in which she puts all of her bows in my hair and steals Bella's lipstick to paint my lips with. Ophelia is just getting to that age where the word 'no' is their favorite."
Loud laughs escaped the men's lips as they slowly looked over at James. The young agent took a long sip of his beer, slightly choking on it as he looked up at the men and smiled.
"What about you?" Matt asked.
"Me?" James questioned. "What about me?"
"Do you think you want to have kids one day?" Luke asked.
"Oh, wow," James said, raising his eyebrows. "Uh, I'm not sure. I mean...I would like to have kids but I'm not in any rush whatsoever. I'm only 27 and I can barely even take care of myself so having a child would not be the best option for me."
"Having kids changes your life for the better," Matt said. "Becoming a father was the scariest thing I've ever had to face but it was so worth it."
Spencer nodded in agreement, "The second you hold your child the world just...changes. You become braver and your heart expands to a size that seems humanly impossible."
"I don't even have a girlfriend," James chuckled awkwardly. "So, I will not be having a kid anytime soon. Not for a long time. A long, long, long time."
"Weren't you with someone this morning?" Spencer asked.
James' face went red as the other men at the table quickly turned to look at him with wide eyes and curious expressions.
"I wasn't with anyone this morning," James mumbled, his face feeling hot.
"Right," Spencer nodded. "You were just shirtless for no reason."
"I hadn't gotten ready yet. I'm always shirtless...alone...for no reason."
"Mmm...it sounds like you had someone over," Luke chuckled.
"I didn't!" James exclaimed before lowering his voice. "I'm not interested in getting into a relationship or even sleeping around. It's not my thing. I'm perfectly happy alone!"
"That's what they all say," Rossi say before leaving to grab another beer.
Spencer shrugged, "There's no shame in it, James. Whoever it is I'm sure that they're great."
"Even if I was interested in anyone, they definetly wouldn't be interested back," James said, looking down at his beer.
"What do you mean?" Matt asked.
James clicked his tongue and shrugged his shoulders dramtically. He let out a heavy sigh and pushed his beer away.
"James," Spencer said, reading the young man's devastation. "Whoever it is that you are so clearly infatuated with, it's obvious that you need to express these feelings."
"I have," James said.
"If you love someone then you don't give up on them. Trust me, I was hopelessly in love for YEARS before I said something about it. I chased Bella around hoping that she would read my mind and see that I was always going to love her, even if she rejected me a million times and moved states away. That's the thing about love, it never really leaves you. It gets buried away for a little bit but you have the ability to unlock it whenever."
"What do I do?"
"You said that you already expressed these feelings of love and it was rejected. Is this person still giving you their time? Even their affection?"
"Yes."
"Then there's something there, James. This person might just be shy or afraid to start a new relationship. Reveal parts of yourself that make them feel comfortable and secure. Let them know how much you are willing to give them. Treat them with nothing but love and respect. Love always finds it's way, at least that's what I believe."
James grinned, "Thanks, Spencer."
Spencer nodded and patted James' shoulder, trying to console and encourage him at the same time. He knew what it was like to be in love with someone and not know if they loved you back. He knew the pain that came with loving someone from afar.
"Well, that was damn beautiful," Luke said. "Matt and I are going to grab more beers, want anything?"
James and Spencer shook their heads, thanking Matt and Luke as they wandered off towards the bar area. Glancing around, Spencer made sure that all the men were gone before he leaned in closer to James.
"Penelope is a great woman," Spencer whispered. "She loves with everything in her. She just needs a little shove, that's all."
"Why-why do you br-bring up Pen-Penelope?" James stuttered, his face paling.
"I see the way that you look at her, James. It's obvious."
"I-I-"
"It's going to be ok, I'm not going to tell anyone. Just, treat her well and she'll come around. She's a lover, she's just nervous right now."
James swallowed roughly, unsure of what to say as he watched Spencer finish the ice water that he was drinking. James went to say something before the sound of the bartender turning up the TV quickly defeaned the entire pub.
"Holy shit," Spencer cursed underneath his breath, his eyes turning to the TV.
"What?" James asked.
"An entire women's basketball team was killed by a shooter."
"A sniper?"
"We call them long distance serial killers."
James squinted his eyes, his heart dropping as he watched the news unfold in front of him.
* * *
"I'm glad you and James are so close," Bella said, taking her earrings out. "He's young and he's still navigating this insane world. It's good that he has someone with experience that he can go to."
"I see so much of myself in him," Spencer said, climbing into bed. "He's like a young version of me."
"Mhm, he's just a hell of a lot better at technology."
"A dog is better at tech than you are, Spence."
"You're so sweet."
Bella chuckled as Spencer winked at her. She took her hair out of her low bun, letting it spill onto her shoulders as she climbed into bed as well. She turned off the lamp on her nightstand, crawling in closer to Spencer as he wrapped his arms around her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.
"Good," Bella said. "No morning sickness and I've only been craving potatoes and ketchup, so nothing too crazy."
"I'm happy to hear that, I can pick up some more potatoes tomorrow if you want."
"That would be absolutely amazing. Do you think you could bake them for me?"
"Of course I will, my love."
Bella smiled and cupped Spencer's face, "How did I get so lucky? I married a tall, handsome man with beautiful hair."
"All my best features."
"No," Bella chuckled. "Your best feature is your heart, Spence. And your brain of course."
"Of course," Spencer laughed, pulling Bella in for a deep kiss.
Her hands traveled down his muscular back as he moved on top of her, careful as to not crush her or hurt her in anyway. His kisses deepened as he moved onto her neck and jawline, nipping and sucking.
"I love you," Bella breathed. "I love you so much, Spence. With everything in me, I love you."
"I love you too, sweetheart," Spencer said, pulling his lips away from her skin. "Look at you, every inch of you I adore. You're so beautiful, my love. Your brain is beautiful and your eyes are beautiful and your smile is beautiful."
"You're making me blush," Bella teased. "I love being loved by you, Spence. That's why I'm so proud of you for helping James. He needs to realize how obvious it is that he's in love with Penny."
"That's what I told him. It's almost like how we were, Bells."
"Oh god, we were so young. I can't believe how young we were."
"Now look at us. If you told 24 year old me that I would be in bed making out with you, I would probably explode."
"You were so obsessed with me, huh?"
"Mmm, I thought that you were obsessed with me."
"Oh whatever," Bella laughed, pulling Spencer into another kiss.
Her hands continued to travel down his back, reaching down and pulling his shirt up and over his head. He nipped at her collarbone, earning a low sigh as she arched her back. As she pulled him into another kiss, her phone began to ring loudly.
"Damn it," Bella hissed as Spencer rolled off of her. She answered her phone, bringing it to her ear as she furrowed her eyebrows. "Hello?"
"Bella," Phoebe said on the other line, her voice shaky.
"Hey," Bella said, sitting up. "What's up?"
"Are you busy right now?"
"No, I'm about ready to go to bed."
"Bella, you-you need to come home."
"What?"
"I already called Charlotte and Aurora and they're on the way home."
"Phoebe, what is going on?"
Phoebe hesitated for a second before letting out a deep, gloomy sigh. Bella gripped the phone tightly as Spencer looked at her curiously.
"Grandma is in the hospital," Phoebe said. "She's dying, Bella. She's asking for you."
Bella's hands began to shake.
__________________________
Song: "Penitentiary" by Citizen Cope
A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks so much for reading! Filler chapter I'M SORRY! I actually love that I rediscovered this song because of how nostalgic it makes me for season 1. Make sure to leave comments! PLEASE!!!! Comments are motivation! Stay safe and healthy and I'll see you soooooooooon!