everyone was stressed. novella's last day of school was a few days ago, and they didn't know how they would be able to take care of her while owen and cristina were at work. they considered babysitting, but they couldn't trust babysitters. they considered the daycare in the hospital, but novella was in the hospital for too much already.
the first few days was a struggle. owen, being the chief of surgery, would switch his and cristina's shifts around so that one of them could stay and watch novella while the other one would go to work. for now, it was their best option.
soon it was decided that cristina's mother would end up taking care of their daughter and staying with them for a few months until she would be returning to school again. owen suggested helen coming instead of his own mother, as he knew cristina's mother had not seen novella nearly as much. of course, helen lived in beverly hills and didn't have the best relationship with her daughter. owen's mother lived in seattle and her relationship with her son was great.
cristina despised the idea, but she had no other option. she didn't want to miss her work, but she didn't want to leave novella all alone, either. the last time she had seen her mother was when novella was only a few years younger, but she loved her and wouldn't want her own relationship with her mother to get in the way.
as for the fetus in her stomach, it seemed as it had been forgotten. though no complications were happening, nothing kept them from remembering that in a few months, a new addition would be coming to the family. both she and owen and thought about it briefly, but with everything going on, it felt so far out of reach.
they would argue about it silently in attempt to conceal their bickering from their child, as they did with almost everything. there were on opposite sides of every situation, and they hated it. owen wanted to tell the world about their second pregnancy, cristina wanted to keep it hidden. cristina wanted to think logically about their current situation, whereas owen wanted to keep it emotional. he wanted her to spend more time with his family. she wanted to spend more time on her work.
they had grown the most separate they have been in years. and while they hated it, they were too opinionated to let go of their morals. they wanted to fight rightfully for what was theirs.
but even still, novella fought her hardest to beat her own battle with a cancer that could very easily take over her life. and that was and always will be their number one priority.
"alright, bye bye kiddo, we'll see you later." owen picked her up and kissed her on the cheek before putting her down so cristina could see her next.
"bye daddy." she grinned, giving him an adorable wave. he waved back.
cristina crouched down so she and her daughter could look at each other at eye level. she smiled and gave her a peck on the forehead.
"bye story, be good to your grandma." helen was still sleeping, as it was still barely morning and was worn from jet lag. novella made a face and then giggled.
"mom, why did you call me that even though i told you i don't like it?" she continued laughing, putting her hands on her stomach trying to contain all her laughter. cristina smiled, standing up. she stroked the top of novella's hairless head.
"we'll be back soon. don't be annoying and don't do anything stupid." novella stuck her tongue out and cristina stuck hers back at her.
finally, she and owen exited the house and went over to the hospital so they could get to work.
"how could you let her be without her mother like that?" owen asked her right after the door to the house was closed and they started walking over to the the car.
"what? i'm not leaving her motherless. i talked to her about it and she understands. i have to do my work." he rolled his eyes and gave a little sigh before he got into the car.
"okay, now do you hear yourself? how can you say you're not being selfish when you're putting your career over our sick child! you are choosing to ignore the fact that life is not the way it was before." she got into the car and put her seatbelt on, while he began to start the car to go to work. he had been angry at her for what seemed like a while.
"listen, i'm not trying to be selfish, okay? you and i have different perspectives over this and that is okay. novella is sick. i know. how could i not know? but this is so new to me." she said, her hands moving in the air trying to express her feelings to him so that he could understand where she was coming from. "it's all so new, i don't know how to handle this and you can't tell me i'm being selfish because of that. you said it yourself. it's not just her, it's you and me too. and i get that you can cope with your feelings but not everyone does it the way you do."
he took a deep breath, very clear he was not willing to understand her side. without looking away from the road or bothering to make eye contact with her, he spoke with a soft but intimidating voice.
"hiding is not the answer."
...
"i don't know, he's—he's saying that it's selfish of me because i cope the way i do." cristina complained, taking a sip of her drink. everyone at their lunch table responded with noises that weren't words before someone could actually reply.
"boo him. men suck." meredith shouted like she was drunk on tequila. "cris, we got you. i'll trade you a solo surgery for your fries."
lexie looked at her sister solemnly then hit her in the elbow when meredith took the plate of fries from cristina's tray. she flinched.
"yo, lexie, chill out." meredith said, dropping some fries. lexie just huffed and shook her head.
"you are insane. they're having major problems and all you know how to do is steal someone's lunch." meredith gave her a glare and continued eating. "and cristina, it does seem like you're abandoning your kid. if i were her, i would want my mom."
"please. i know well what my daughter can and can't handle. i'm not abandoning her, either. i have a job that i need to fulfill. can i not do that anymore because she has cancer? is that all of a sudden a crime against humanity because she's sick? where's the logic here?" she countered, then aggressively took a bite of a carrot she had on her tray.
cristina wouldn't have too many surgeries later in the day. because owen was the chief of surgery, he rearranged the schedule so that her surgeries were back to back until her last surgery which ended at five. the only break she had was for lunch. as always, she protested, but owen made no compromises and begged her to be home before seven.
"i don't know if you know this, but being an adult kind of means to shift your priorities around to put your kids first." alex chimed in, jokingly yet annoyingly. lexie laughed though nodded her head in agreement. cristina just groaned.
"you guys are surgeons. you should get this. is it too outrageous to do a job that i love to do? i shouldn't feel bad for that." she looked down to the ground and fidgeted with her fingers. she really did love her job and she would do anything for a flourishing career. but she wasn't running again, was she?
"kind of?"
"yeah."
meredith looked around the table and shrugged. "well, i'm for it."
"thank you, mer."
"what? you have your own kids!"
"so what? surgery is my priority."
cristina set her head so her eyes could look at the ceiling and slumped back in her chair for just a second. she blew air from out of her mouth.
"'kay, you want to act like adults? go for it. but can we not debate over this like it's a speech and debate? christ, this is my own child we're talking about here."
everyone immediately stopped bickering and looked straight at cristina.
"gosh, i'm sorry." lexie apologized, feeling embarrassed and upset with herself. "sorry, i honestly was not thinking it through it's my—"
"i don't wanna hear it." she angrily said, everyone noting her quick change in attitude. it was obvious the current circumstances have taken a toll on her. even if she couldn't admit it.
"you know what, forget it. i have a surgery in a few minutes anyway." she muttered, getting up from her spot and quickly walking away with a look on her face. everyone looked at each other when she was gone and far away so nobody could see.
"she's right. novella has cancer, and it's not something we can argue over like her life isn't on the line. we should know this by now."
everything was back in circles. one like a daily routine, the other like history repeating itself. cristina would go to work, do countless surgeries, then go back home. she would hide, very subconsciously, until she couldn't any longer. everything was getting out of hand and nothing could be stopped.
as she was walking to the operating room, she bumped into someone familiar while lost in her train of thoughts.
"sorry." she said, without a moment's notice. looking up, she saw owen, his face illegible.
"i cancelled your surgery that was in a couple minutes." he nonchalantly responded. still, his face remained expressionless while hers appeared to unfold. she tilted her head.
"what? you can't do that. i'm already coming home two hours before we agreed on." she noticed he grabbed onto her hand, but unsure whether it was in a harmful or just in a habitual way. she pulled away from his grasp.
"i'm the chief of surgery. i definitely can."
"and i'm a surgeon and i definitely deserve time in the o.r.."
"not when novella is at home—"
"especially when my own husband decides to take away the time i have in surgery because he's so sad and depressed." she yelled, raising her voice at him as doctors and patients walked past.
"because you. are. hiding!"
"i am not hiding!"
"then why drown yourself in surgeries you never take any interest in? why the five appendectomies or the ten cholecystectomies? i am your husband, cristina, and you've done this before." he was right. she knew it to some extent, too. still, she persisted because he was certainly wrong to take away what was hers.
"but taking away my surgeries and interfering with my career? owen, you're doing this as my husband, not as the chief of surgery." she proceeded, unbothered by a few nurses whom she saw staring at them. "our marriage and our family cannot influence your decisions as chief. it's...it's unprofessional."
"but i am still the chief of surgery and you can't disobey me just because you're my wife." he proclaimed, clenching his fists together. "in fact, not only did i reschedule your surgery, i'm also having teddy do it instead."
her mouth dropped. his face was crystal and clear. that exasperated her. she shook her head slowly to the side, her eyes fiery as his remained to be unaffected nor concerned about her and her own good.
"you are unbelievable." she spat out, walking away from him, leaving him alone standing in the middle of the hallway where people still stared at the scene they just made.
—
a/n:
surprise!! school ended yesterday for me which i feel is so hard to believe? i wasn't expecting to finish this chapter but i have nothing better to do hahaha.
i also wanted to try some new things with the characters. i feel like owen was never angry with cristina at all during the last fanfiction and i know that in the show he would sometimes get angry over a lot of things, so i wanted to stay true to that. they were both so lovey-dovey because "always enough" focused more on their relationship and working together to figure things out, but i think that even though they are able to do things like that, a lot of the time they're arguing because their morals contrast with each other's a lot. i hope i can stick to what i think their characters would do in certain situations versus what i feel is necessary for the plot.
anyway i hope i can update sooner now. im sorry for the long author's note