"Mei. Mei!"
I snapped out of my thoughts.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Let's keep moving."
I started walking but was yanked back.
"Could I ask for a favor? Please?"
I nodded.
"Can you allow me to love you? I promise I won't talk about it or act on it. Just let me love you. That's more than enough for me."
But I want you to act on it. What am I saying? I can't be with her even if she acts on it. Her eyes were tearing my heart apart. I just nodded.
"Thank you."
She lifted my hand, as if to kiss it, but stopped halfway and let it go.
"Sorry. Let's go."
We walked in silence, following the river, consumed by our thoughts. We walked until night and finally rested. It was extremely quiet.
"Go sleep. I'll take the first watch," she said without looking at me.
"Okay."
I laid down on the sheet with my back to her. A tear rolled down. No Mei, don't cry. You know this is the way it has to be. You can't be together. Firstly, you can't trick her like that. You can't use her feelings like that. You're a monster for even thinking of actually doing that. Secondly, You don't want history to repeat itself, do you? You can't be selfish and place her life in danger. Stop it. For once in your life don't be selfish. Lastly, you're probably just confused. You don't even know what love is. How could a killer like you love? I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but all I could think of was the kiss and the way she held me, the way her hands moved, the way she made sure I wanted it. No, no, no and no. I have to think of something else. I forced myself to think about something else.
I woke up to hear the birds chirping. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the sunlight. Did I not wake up? I looked around to find Cel but she was nowhere to be found.
"Cel! Cel! Celine! Where are you?"
"Mei..."
I turned around and saw her standing there. I ran to her and embraced her.
"Where did you go?"
She pushed me away.
"I never thought you'd be so heartless to do something like this."
"I'm so sorry. I know it's wrong."
"But you still wanted to do it."
"I'm sorry."
"I hate you."
"You have all the rights to hate me. I'm so sorry."
She disappeared.
"Celine!"
"Mei! Wake up!"
I opened my eyes to see Celine cupping my face. I hastily hugged her.
"Please don't leave me," my voice cracked.
"Hey, I would never. I'm right here. It's okay."
She kept patting my hair to calm me. After a couple of minutes I broke the hug. I noticed it was still dark.
"Are you feeling better now?"
I nodded.
"Mind telling me what the nightmare was about?"
I shook my head no.
"That's okay. Just go back to sleep."
"No! I don't want to sleep."
She sat next to me and hugged me.
"I'm right here. Just try to sleep. I won't go anywhere."
I slowly closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
I woke up in the morning with Cel's arms around me. I admired her face. Her long eyelashes, her cute nose, the way her hair frames her face, her luscious lips. I shook those thoughts away and woke her up.
We walked the whole day, as always. We talked here and there. She made sure I drank water and rested properly. We took a couple minutes break. A butterfly flew around me. I looked at it with awe, unaware of the glances Cel threw my way. I met her eyes by accident and the way she looked at me made me feel so safe and secure, like she was the home I was looking for. We resumed walking. It was almost sunset. The sky looked very pretty today. A cool breeze blew. I looked at Cel and felt my heart beat increase. The colours of the sky reflecting on her skin, the wind blowing her hair and the gentle smile on her face made her look ethereal. How can a person like her even exist? We quickly set up a fire and rested.
"Go sleep, I'll watch."
"I'm not tired. I'll keep you company."
She seemed like she wanted to say something but looks like she decided against it.
"What is it?"
"I... um want to ask you a question. Feel free to not answer it. Um... Do you by any chance get hit at home?"
"Um..."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Forget it. Sorry."
"It's no problem. Yeah. Sometimes. Only If I'm not obedient. I guess sometimes when my dad's angry."
"Even now?"
"Of course. Isn't that normal?"
"It's not. Parents should never hit their children. I've never been hit once in my life."
"Wow."
"Does your dad just hit you once or twice or...?"
"Once or twice? It's definitely a minimum of 50."
"50? W-What does he hit you with?"
"A belt."
"He whips you!?"
"Yeah."
I didn't understand why she was so shocked. I lifted my shirt and showed my back to her. I heard her gasp.
"M-Mei..." her voice was barely a whisper.
I felt her fingers gently trace a few. Her fingers softly moved up towards my shoulders. Her touch was very gentle, as if I'd break if she pressed a bit too hard. I was about to pull my shirt down when I felt her warm breath on my shoulder and something soft press on my scar. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead on the back of my neck. I froze. Did she just-? Before I could fully process what had happened I felt my neck becoming wet. At first I thought It was rain but I soon realized she was crying . I quickly turned around.
"Hey what's-"
I was engulfed in a hug before I could finish.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine...?"
She pulled away after a while. She wiped her eyes. I wanted to ask why she was crying but decided against it. She stayed quiet after that. After 5-ish minutes of silence I asked her
"What is your happiest memory?"
"Playing with my dog."
"You really love animals, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. What's yours?"
"Hmm... Spending time with my grandmother. She would cook wonderful meals for me and my brother. She taught me a lot of stuff."
"You really love your grandmother."
"I do. I really miss her. I couldn't even go to her grave. I don't even know where she's buried..."
My eyes began watering. Cel sat beside me and rubbed my back.
"What's your grandmother's name?"
"Seren."
She looked up at the sky.
"Mrs.Seren, I'm sitting with your granddaughter here. She really misses you. I wanted to thank you for your part in raising her into the wonderful woman she is today. Thank you. I promise I'll take good care of her, you don't have to worry. Hope you can hear us. We'll visit you soon."
I looked at her with so much emotion. It's such a simple action but holds so much meaning. I placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Thank you," my voice was a whisper.
She wordlessly kissed my head.
Suddenly. I heard her whisper something.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, love."
We spent the night holding each other in silence.
It was the next morning and we started walking. She was walking ahead of me. I almost fell and Cel turned to make sure I was okay. I didn't notice the rock in front of me and fell forward. Cel quickly held me. We looked at each other, not breaking eye contact. She licked her lips and slightly leaned forward but stopped herself and backed away.
"I'm sorry."
She started walking away. I contemplated for a second. Screw it. I took long strides forward and turned her around.
"What-"
I pulled her forward.
To be continued.
Thank you for reading.