Ivana
I caress my tummy as I play with my pen when my phone suddenly rang.
" Doc Vana sorry for the urgent call. This is RN Manzano on duty at the OR. Doc pa assist daw po si Doc Jed sa OR 16. May emergency po ata sila ngayon. Mukhang ruptured brain aneurysm. Hindi daw po kase makakarating si Dr. Romualdez dahil nasa ER din po ang papa niya" Mabilis na wika sa akin nung nurse na nakaduty sa OR.
I'm already at my second trimester. Five months na si baby at sobrang likot na sa tiyan ko.
Medyo tumaba na rin ako. But I thank the gods for letting me gain the normal weight a pregnant woman should. Ngunit pakiramdam ko parin ang taba taba ko na.
" Confirm my presence to Dr. Alfonso, I will be at the OR in five minutes." I stated calmly.
Alam kong emergency nga talaga kung kaya't pinatawag pa ako ni Jed sa OR niya.
I also need to see the patient's chart before entering the OR. I need time to review the patient's case.
I used the lift. Sumisipa ulit si baby habang nakasakay ako sa elevator kaya hinahaplos ko lang ito. He always wants his father's touch. Madalas si Luigi ang humahaplos at kumakausap sa tiyan ko.
Anak behave ka muna ngayon. Tutulong tayo sa Operating room. Busog ka naman na kaya tulog ka muna
I was mentally talking to my baby.
Hindi pa nga kase lumalabas, spoiled na agad ng papa niya. Luigi can be a superman sometimes. All of my cravings during my first trimester, nagawa niyang ibigay. He also ate with me most of the times. Kung ano iyung kinakain ko, kinakain niya rin.
He had also demanded me to take a leave from work but I declined. I always declined. Ayokong mapako ang katawan ko sa kama. I have chosen to work but still taking good care of my baby. I'm very cautious of everything that I do and eat. And Luigi sees that.
Nang makarating ako sa ER ay agad kong tinungo ang nurses station para tignan ang chart ng pasyente.
It's really a rupture brain aneurysm. The patient needs an emergency operation for that matter.
I also reviewed his labs and medical history.
Nang matapos kong basahin ay tinungo ko na ang sink upang maghugas bago ko tinungo ang OR ni Jed. Jed was already there. Nag induce nadin ng sedation ang anesthesiologist. I did my sterile gowning, gloving.
" Dra. Fajardo, thank you for confirming. Shall we start then?" Jed said. Siya ang head surgeon, I am the assist. Alam kong ayaw niya ng interns dahil narin sa seryoso ang kaso ng pasyente. A little error may be detrimental to the patient already. The operation took place immediately after the go signal of the anesthesiologist.
So far the patient is stable. Two hours had passed when a nurse approached me.
" Doc Vana, pinapascrub out po kayo ni Doc Luigi. Siya nalang daw papalit sa puwesto niyo." The nurse said. I did not bother looking at the door. My sole focus is at the operative site.
" Pakisabi huwag niya akong guluhin." Alam kong naiinis si Luigi dahil pinagbawalan niya akong mag opera na muna. Neurosurgeries tend to take up atleast 2-6 hours depending on the case of the patient. Minsan pa nga e lampas anim na oras ang isang procedure.
But this is different, Jed needs help. Hindi siya hihingi sa akin ng tulong kung alam niyang kaya naman niyang gawin. And knowing Jed, hindi lahat ng neurosurgeons ay pinagkakatiwalaan niya.
An hour went. We're already almost done. Closing nalang pero medyo matagal parin ang closing.
The surgery went well. It was so far successful. Nang makalabas ako ay nakita kong naghihintay si Luigi sa akin sa doctors' lounge ng OR. Prente itong nakaupo habang nakatutok ang mga mata mismo sa pintuan nito kung saan ako nakatayo ngayon.
" You waited and you should not have waited." I told him.
" And you should have called me. I can assist Doc Alfonso with that E craniotomy. Bakit kailangan mo pang gawin iyon" He demanded.
" I am still able to do the operation Luigi. Ano, pag-aawayan ba natin 'to? Hindi nakaduty si Dr. Ibarra. Nakaleave si Dr. Villa. So far we both know that you and I are the only neurosurgeons available at the moment. May OR ka din sa kabila, and Jed needs help" I told him. Huminga ito ng malalim.
" How are you both feeling?" He asked once more.
" We're fine, Dr. Montenegro. I am also aware that I should be careful. I am taking good care of your son" I told him. Lalaki ang anak namin. Singleton. Buti nalang at hindi triplets. I cannot imagine taking good care of three Luigis. Masyadong marami na iyun. At aasahan kong makulit ang anak namin pagkalabas nito.
" I'm sorry. I'm just too worried. You cannot stand for too long with that weight you carry." He said.
" Well kaya ko pa naman." I said. Hindi pa naman gaanong kalaki ang tiyan ko. I actually don't look like a pregnant woman. Medyo maliit kase iyung tiyan ko kung titignan. And thank goodness I still have curves though pregnant. Kahit pa medyo tumaba ako. I don't actually care, for as long as my baby is fine.
Ilang sandali pa ay pumasok na si Jed.
" Dr. Montenegro, paumanhin kung hiningi ko ang tulong ni Doc Vana. It was an emergency, I cannot-" Hindi pa natapos ni Jed ang sasabihin niya ng magsalita si Luigi.
" It's okay. The nurse already told me that you opted my help but I wasn't available at the moment." Luigi said. So far Jed and Luigi are slowly making it into good terms. Kahit alam kong mahirap sa parte nilang dalawa dahil sa nakaraan but I can see improvements each day.
" Mauna na kami ni Vana. Iuwi ko na si buntis" He smiled and took my hand, intertwined it.
Sanay siyang tawagin akong buntis sa harap ng ibang tao lalo na pag nasa labas kami. Siguro dahil narin hindi masyadong halata ang tiyan ko depende na rin sa suot kong damit. Sometimes when I wear a black maternity dress and depending on the angle.
We both headed home. Nakabili na kami ni Luigi ng isang house and lot. The house is really expensive. Ayoko sanang gumastos ng malaki para sa bahay. Puwede naman kase kaming bumili pagkanakaluwagluwag kami but knowing Luigi, he wouldn't agree to that. Most of the money used was from him, I did not also realize that he had been a neurosurgeon for longer years than me that's why he already had saved more money. At iyun nga ang ginamit namin.
I was preparing dinner when I felt him behind me. Niyakap niya ako ng napakahigpit. He also rested his head on my shoulder.
" Pakasalan mo na ako" Bulong niya. This is the 3rd time he asked me for marriage but my answer is still the same.
" When the baby comes out." I said. Ewan ko ba at gusto kong makalabas muna si baby bago kami ikasal. There's no need to rush. Para din naman na kaming kasal sa lagay namin ngayon. Luigi just wants it to be written on papers.
" Ang tagal naman" He complained.
" In a few months time Luigi." I answered back.
" Why do you punish me so much, Ivana. Tapos nakikita kitang pinagtitinginan ng mga gago kahit malaki na ang tiyan mo sa akin." He whispered. I'm trying to hide my smile. This is just one of those times when he acts immaturely. Seryoso kuno kung sa ibang tao pero heto't parang batang nagmamaktol harapan ko ngayon.
My eyes landed on our engagement ring. Pangalawang engagement ring ko na 'to na pareho niyang binigay sa akin.
Kung ganito ang takbo ng love story ko, masasabi ko parin na pinagpala ako. I cannot find another Luigi in a lifetime. Wala ng Luigi pa na luluhod sa harapan ko at sasambahin ang lupang tinatapakan ko.
Huminga ako ng malalim at niyakap siya pabalik.
" Alam mo bang kahit ilang taon pa ang lumipas, hindi ko parin maitatago ang katotohanang ikaw lang ang lalaking inibig ko ng ganito?" I verbalized.
" I know" Bulong niya pabalik.
" Na kahit seloso ka at mayabang minsan, di ka kayang ipagpalit nitong puso ko."
" Did you really have a relationship with Mhysty after we broke up?" I asked him. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na ungkatin ang nakaraang.
" I never had any relationship with another woman after you. I stayed faithful with you. Despite me losing my memory of you. I did not" Sagot lamang niya.
" Ngunit alam kong si Dra. Cordova ang kasama mong umalis. You cannot lie about that. You went overseas with her" I told him.
" She studied there. We parted ways at the airport." Untag niyang muli.
" You are so cruel, Luigi. What you did was not what it's supposed to be. You fooled me. You lacked trust in the relationship we had. You never given me the chance to prove my love for you. You took me for granted. You only believed I had loved you during your bests. And look at where it brought us now. Ang dami nating pinagsisihan. Ang daming what ifs. And here we are, trying to revive a lost relationship. Mahirap dahil mali ang pagsisimula natin. But we need to make it work. At hindi lang sana dahil sa buntis ako. I hope we are doing these things for love" I told him.
He cupped both of my cheeks.
" And I'm going to spend the rest of my years saying sorry, making up for the years wasted just because of my stupid mistake. But thank you for giving me another chance Ivana. I won't waste it. And I'm going to prove to you that you made the right decision of giving me another chance. You will never regret loving me again." Tears fell from his eyes as we hugged each other.
" You don't need to prove anything, Luigi. I can feel the sincerity of your sacrifices. I guess I never really fell out of love. Dahil gaano ko man paulit ulit na sabihin sa aking isipan na hindi na kita mahal. Maslalo lang kitang namimiss. Maslalo lang kitang hinahanap. Maslalo lang kitang minamahal. I love you Mr. Luigi Clyde Montenegro. From the moon and back." I told him.
We both looked at each other as we shared a sweet and intimate kiss.
Ilang buwan nalang ay manganganak na ako.
Inaayos ko na din iyung mga gagamitin ni baby.
Sinasabay din namin ni Luigi na pag-isipan iyung mga magiging ninong at ninang sa kasal namin.
And my latest ultrasound showed that we're having a boy. Cephalic in presentation. Healthy and with good heart tone.
Maslalong napapadalas na din ang off duties ni Luigi dahil anong oras ay manganganak na ako. Kinakabahan ako ng konti dahil masakit ang panganganak. But I can do it. I need to do it for our baby. There are times that I can already feel pain at my pelvic area.
I'm still having my duty at the OPD at my last month. Hindi naman mabigat ang trabaho sa OPD dahil puro ambulatory ang mga pasyente at walang kritikal ang kondisyon.
I was busy writing at the prescription paper for a patient when my water bag broke.
Napamura na lamang ako sa aking isipan.
Tumingin ako sa pasyente at sinabihan sa mga home medications niya bago ako tumayo. Mukhang napansin na ng nurse ko kaya sinamahan ako sa loob ng OPD room kung saan may DR table at DR set na din.
" Can you do an internal examination on me?" I asked the nurse. Agad naman itong tumango at kumuha ng sterile gloves. I also positioned myself lithotomy at the DR table.
She did the IE
" Doc 5 cms dilated, 90% effaced na po kayo doc." Wika sa akin nung nurse
" Okay. Call Dra. Constantino. Notify her of my labor progress. Indicate the time my water bag broke. Thank you" Wika ko sa nurse.
I am already in pain. Parang biglaan ang pananakit ng balakang ko pagkatapos pumutok nung bag of water ko.
" Doc si Doc Montenegro po ba tatawagan ko din?" Tanong sa akin nung nurse
Huwag na, baka magwala pa iyun dito.
" Yes please. Salamat" I told her.
The nurse called them. Nasa DR table parin ako at pakiramdam ko nandiyan na iyung anak ko. Anak please, come out already. Don't let mommy suffer for too long.
Parang narinig tuloy ng anak ko ang sinabi ng isipan ko kung kaya't maslalong sumakit pa ang puwerta ko.
It only took Dr. Montenegro a good five minutes before he reached the OPD clinic.
Pawisan si Luigi nang makita ko siya.
" Doc akala ko po ba may ongoing OR kayo-" Hindi na natuloy nung nurse ang sasabihin niya ng magsalita si Luigi.
" Sterile gloves" Untag niya. Don't tell me siya ang magpapaanak sa akin.
" Dr. Montenegro you are not supposed to leave your OR ahhhh!" Ang sakit anak.
He repeated an IE before he assisted me out of the DR table.
" You're not yet fully dilated. Still at 5 cms Babe. I'm here" Bulong niya. Hindi pa fully dilated pero bakit ang sakit na. A tear fell from my eyes. Nakita niya iyon at marahang pinunasan.
" Ang sakit na" Bulong ko. He kissed me tenderly on my lips.
" I'm sorry. I love you" He guided my head to rest on his chest as I widened my base to support my weight. He rubbed my back and assisted me.
Kung ganito kahirap ang manganak. Ayoko na ng pangalawa pa.
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A/N : Updated June 16, 2022 8:50 PM