Context
[Ram and Priya hurry back to Kapoor Mansion, out of the rain. They banter. Ram accidentally says he loves Priya, and is apologetic. Priya says Ram is special to her.]
"I want you to know that you are special to me, Mr. Kapoor." Her every instinct screamed to look away. To turn tail and run after revealing so much. But she had seen the foregone conclusion in his eyes. That he thought his loving her was an aberration, some sort of grievous mistake on his part. It was a mistake -- she couldn't fathom what it was that he saw in her. But suddenly, she could't bear to see him tiptoe around her so. His love for others was the lifeblood of his soul. He didn't expect any of that boundless affection in return; just that it not be spurned. She would not be another among those that dampened his spirit.
Today, she would be honest, even if it scared the hell out of her.
"I know," he chipped in, immediately. He always doing that. Bailing her out of having to express her feelings.
"No. Please...let me just say this before I freak out."
"Okay." Wary blue eyes trained on her, waiting.
"You are very patient with me, Mr. Kapoor. It's funny, you know. You are the one always whining about my taunts, but you never ask me to change or stop. If only you knew what percentage of those taunts started out as compliments in my head before I forced myself to bite my lip."
She could see she had surprised him, with this seeming non-sequitur.
"I know...I know we agreed not to fall in love when we first got married..."
"Please, Priya. Let's not start that again."
"..and I know that the last time I reminded you of this agreement, I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, Mr. Kapoor. But I didn't know that things had changed for you then! As they were doing for me..."
Ram's eyes widened, and he made as if to move towards her. But her next words stilled him.
"Mr. Kapoor, we've been through a lot this week. And we have both been keeping important things from each other. I don't know why you didn't tell me about Vedika. Normally, a lie of omission would just prick my pride. How dare someone think they could pull the wool over me so easily? But this lie... it sunk my heart. Fear. Stark fear was all I felt. Did you not tell me about her because she was not just the past, but something to be rekindled in the future? "
Ram opened his mouth to argue -- he didn't know what he was going to say -- it was just imperative to stress how absurd, how wrong it felt to think of himself in conjuction with Vedika, now. But a fat lot of good that would have done. Priya continued on, unseeing, spewing a fresh set of insecurities that twisted his heart.
"Shame. Is it fear's twin? It is in my case. I could barely look you in the eye and tell you the truth about my father. How should I have said it, Mr. Kapoor? That I'm related to a man so twisted and vindictive, he wouldn't bat an eye before taking someone's life? Everytime I think I have his measure, he introduces me to a new corner of his depraved mind. I'm not a naturally optimistic person, but I've always believed I would be free of him. A part of me was relieved when he left us; when I married you and proved him wrong. But I see now, he is like a dog with a bone when it comes to my happiness. I'm sorry Mr. Kapoor, but this was the hardest pill to digest. Not the threat of Neeraj behind bars, or Maitreyi casting aspersions on my sisterhood, or my mother's supposed humiliation at the hands of a husband who never respected her. It was facing up to the fact that all the self-respect, honour and values I so haughtily lord over you, amounted to nothing in the face of his machinations. To admit he can snatch away our happiness, your regard, your life even, all while I stand by. I was not brave enough to tell you the truth. I will always be the walking raincloud that showers you with his curses and ill-will. I know that you would not have held me to blame, big-hearted as you are. But I didn't want your kindness. I didn't deserve it. I didn't have the courage to try..."
Her voice croaked dangerously, and she ground her teeth in an effort to stop the tears. It didn't take much to inspire Mr. Kapoor's sympathy, and she would not deny him his right to be enraged with her.
"Priya, my god! Priya, please...." Ram surged forward, and wrapped her in a hug before she could protest. Her jaw was smarting with the effort of trying not to cry, so she barely heard the muffled epithets he was directing into her hair. He sounded sad...and angry. She should really step back, so he could rail at her properly. But all she could do was shiver in his embrace. He began rubbing her back, rocking them side to side. "Sshhh", he admonished when she tried to speak, so she lapsed into silence, closing her eyes. She would just take a minute to soak this in.
As Priya slackened against him, Ram's mind continued to whirl. He couldn't believe the words coming out of Priya's mouth -- what had that monster of a man had reduced his wife to? If it wasn't so morbid, he would marvel at the mind's ability to bolster its own insecurities.
He had been furious, of course, when he found out all that Priya had hidden from him. He had chalked it up to her obstinance to do things alone. And though he objected to the thought of her trying to protect Neeraj over sharing things with him (it was his life at stake, for god's sake!), he couldn't rationally fault her for wanting to help her sister. But, my god, he had not been expecting this.
He implicitly knew that no words of comfort could solve the disturbing conclusions Priya had reached. He would have to show her with time and deed just how wrong she was. "All my self-respect, honour and values...amounted to nothing..." he seethed recollecting her broken declaration. Didn't she know that she was the most self righteous person that he knew, and that he wouldn't trade her haughty ass for the world? That her honour and values meant everything...that they made her, her? He involuntarily tightened his hold on her, breaking their reprieve. Priya began squirming to be released, no doubt embarrassed, so he stepped back with a grunt.
I'm okay, now." she said, as tentative as a child sensing a parent's explosive mood.
"I don't want to hear another word about that man, Priya." he declared coldly. As Priya began to say something, he added, "I didn't use my coupon today for nothing. It's my final word, right?"
Priya bristled, and he almost smiled at the return of his cranky wife. Almost, but he couldn't quite wipe the scowl off his face. She watched him a moment, and then her expression cleared. Softened. "Yes, Mr. Kapoor." she acquiesed, surprising him. "I'll respect your final decision. But can I make a request?"
He waited, not saying anything, not wanting to encourage any more self-pitying fare. His Priya being apologetic for someone else's faults made his blood boil.
"I would like you to arrest my father."
Something in her voice stopped him from launching into an argument, from lobbing her with questions and remonstrations. Her soft elegant cadence had sounded the words clear and calm; the want came from deep in her bones.
And because she never asked for things and he could deny her nothing, it was done. "Yes, I will arrest Mr. Sood."
Ram made to leave, but Priya caught his arm. "Just one more thing," she whispered.
Her face warmed at his raised brow. If she wasn't already embarrassed by the complete meltdown she'd had, the fury in his eyes had made her positively giddy. He had been angry for her, not at her. Even though she'd royally screwed up. Her honesty had netted her something deep and meaningful today. She just had to do it once more.
"Mr. Kapoor, I think we should take some time to think about our feelings. I know now that the strongest adversities cannot break our bond. Your kindness and willingness to accept me as I am...I want to do the same for you, be the same way for you. But love..."
"I understand, Priya. You need time." Again, he was throwing her a life boat, allowing her to exit before entering any seriously emotional waters.
"Yes, I do." She paused, waiting until he met her eyes. "But I don't think you fully understood me, Mr. Kapoor. My mixed feelings are not an absence of feelings. What I feel for you is unlike anything I feel for anyone else in my life. It crept up on me slowly, sure, but it's hold on me is true. It is nourished everyday by our mutual affection and respect, so don't doubt it's resilience. You are special to me, Mr. Kapoor. Very special. Please never forget that."
And before Ram could react, Priya turned tail and made herself scarce. There was only so much vulnerability a girl indulged in in a day, she appeased herself, giggling.
Ram was rooted to the spot, his mind still reeling. What had just happened? It served him right, he supposed. He was always complaining about Priya's lack of expression. Apparently when she shared, she poured. Bludgeon with emotion seemed to be the motto.
Slowly, he smiled as his mind finally caught up with what she had said before scampering off. "Self-respect amounting to nothing, my ass," he muttered as he strode off in search of his wife. She didn't get off that easy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Wow, if you're reading this, hiiiii! What did you think? Should I continue this, or are my writing experiments best left in the unpublished tab?