Inspired by Community S2E17: "Intro to Political Science."
Piper POV
"Before we start studying," Jason says, "I just want to thank everyone that pitched in with my campaign platform, and I'm proud to announce that I made it past the application process!"
"Oh, that's nice! Congratulations, Jason!" Hazel says.
He flashes a toothy grin like John F. Kennedy or something. "Thank you for helping me put together the survey! I think my platform is going to be really popular because of it."
But Jason's not done crediting the people. He hasn't even won and already his acceptance speech is a mile long. "And Percy, thank you so much for passing around my petition. Oh, Annabeth, the stats you pulled from the survey... amazing. And the aesthetics of the graphs were just gorgeous. I think I have some ideas for my campaign color scheme!"
Annabeth and Percy smile. "Uh, thanks," Annabeth says.
"Leo and Frank..." Jason starts, "I have no idea what it is you're doing, but uh, keep doing it!"
Frank sips out of a coffee cup with his and Leo's faces on it. Strange.
Leo passes Frank a sheet of notebook paper. "What do you think about this for our jingle?"
Frank looks it over and then furrows his eyebrows. "No, too long."
"And what about me?" Piper asks. "I hung up the posters."
Jason wipes his glasses off with an actual cloth. Wow, he's all Mr. Politician now. "I hate to break it to ya, Pipes, but duct-taping all of the campaign posters to the water fountain outside the auditorium didn't make much of a dent. I mean, if you didn't want to help out, you should have just said so."
"Hey, don't blame me for thinking this whole thing was a joke!"
Collective gasps surge all around the study table, but Piper only said what everyone was thinking.
College government elections aren't all that much different than high school student council elections. You get the six or so nerds who are running, and everyone votes for the most popular people. Sure, it's great that Jason's sought out some goals, like requiring references on professors' applications and offering more vegan options in the cafeteria, but he can't think he'll actually win, can he? As far as popularity goes, well, Jason's a little lacking. Piper says that with fondness, though!
But if she were to gamble—and if she's being honest, she probably will—she'd probably bet on some smooth talker with a natural charisma. It would have to be a woman for sure, preferably someone who can represent the students at New Rome who often feel like they don't get a say...
Someone like, for example, herself.
That's not a half-bad idea. People like Piper. She's great at debating, and she's looking to dabble in some new activities. The days are just ticking by. Soon, she'll have to declare a major and figure out what she wants to do with the rest of her life.
She takes a sip of her frappuccino and pulls up the candidacy form on her MacBook computer.
Why do you want to run for student body president?
What would you like to accomplish as student body president?
Are you willing to attend debates at the following times?
That's easy. Because she wants to become an active member of campus life. As student body president, she'll open up more opportunities for students to become leaders in the student government. Say like, appointing a vice president to oversee a council... no, a senate. Piper would form a senate that would draft policies to be instituted at New Rome, leaving her with little to no actual responsibilities.
And the answer to that last question is hell yeah!
All Piper has to do is pass around a petition and then she's in.
She's going to kick Jason's stuffy little dump truck of an ass.
✎✎✎
You wouldn't believe how easy it is to file a candidacy for the New Rome Community College student government ballot using forged signatures.
On second thought, it's New Rome Community College. You would be crazy if you didn't believe it.
Anyways, Piper's wearing jeans and a flannel t-shirt for the first debate because she's just one of the regular folks out there. It sounds tacky now, but promise, it'll charm the pants off the voters. The voters love to see someone like them out there.
There are a couple of other candidates alongside Piper in the food court.
Of course, there's Jason, wearing a suit and tie. He's cleaning off his glasses, a nervous habit Piper can't help but have noticed over the past two years. He's got those stupid notecards again, just like last time he debated, except last time, he and Piper were on a team. This time, they're against each other. A year ago, she'd have wiped the floor with him, but now that he's had her coaching in public speaking, she's got this weird feeling in her chest.
Travis and Connor Stoll are running not for student body president, but for co-student body presidents, which might be absurd for anybody else, but they pull it off. They've got coordinating outfits and everything. Of course, Piper is skeptical; this could be part of some elaborate prank, but maybe they just need something to add to their resume. Their resumes are probably identical; they do almost everything together anyway. How does that look to employers?
Piper doesn't know Lacy well, just that she's about twenty years old and still wears pigtails and has adult braces, and she's also running for student body president. Maybe she was wrong, but Piper always pegged Lacy as the shy type. Her outfit is pretty well put together though. That's something she'll credit her for.
This guy from the local private college, Valhalla is also on the stand, but Dean D shows no intentions to stop him from running. All Piper knows about Valhalla is that it has a reputation for having the best and most outrageous parties. Classes don't start until the afternoon because all the students are hungover all the time. Maybe that's it! Maybe the Valhalla student is just confused and hungover, and he'll realize he's in the wrong place sooner than later.
Dean D sits at a cafeteria table across from the podiums with a red, white, and blue eagle bobblehead at his side.
"Alright candidates," he says, adjusting his headband with springing star antennae. "Welcome to the first round of debates. The candidates will each make opening statements to begin, and then we'll move into a town-hall-style sort of thing."
Travis raises his hand. "What does that mean?"
The dean facepalms. "Audience questions. You'll be answering questions from the audience."
Jason is the first to present his opening statement. "My name is Jason Grace. You may recognize me from various student activities including Ultimate Frisbee, New Rome Ambassadors, and the classics association, just to name a few. I am double majoring in classics and education, and there's nothing I'm more passionate about than my school. If elected-"
"Okay, that's enough from you, Jarrod," says the dean.
So that means Piper's next. "Why do we have these podiums anyway?" she asks. She picks up the microphone and carries it to the ledge of the makeshift stage. "I just want to talk to you all as my peers. That's all. I'm just one of you when it comes down to it."
People seem confused when Piper takes a seat, her legs dangling over the edge of the debate stage, but it's all part of the image she's going for. "My name is Piper, but what matters is that I know what you all want. I'm here to represent the people."
Dean D wipes a tear. "Inspiring, Pippy."
Piper's friends clap politely from the back of the room, except for Leo and Frank. They're wearing 80s newscaster jackets with big shoulder pads and muttering into tiny clip-on microphones.
The massive response, however, comes from the gang called the Hunters. "Hell yeah!" Thalia shouts.
"Let's go, Piper!" Zoë and Phoebe yell in sync.
Piper had no idea she would receive such a strong fanbase. All she did was impersonate a midwestern politician.
"Moving on," says the dean.
Travis and Connor stumble over each other in their attempt at a description of their campaign. They seem to be running into some discrepancies regarding their academic improvement plans, but their plans for inclusion are actually pretty solid.
It's a shame they don't have Piper on their side. Then again, Piper can turn anyone into a student body president if she tries hard enough.
"Okay, time for some community questions," Dean D says, completely disregarding the candidates that haven't given their speeches yet. "If you have a question, just line up next to me and I'll pass you the mic."
A few students join the line. The dean passes a microphone to Will Solace first.
He opens his mouth to speak, but a piercing screech fills the room. Piper winces and covers her ears.
"It's not working," Will says to the dean. "Should I just yell? I can just yell."
"No!" Dean D says. "We are going to be professional about this! Where's that gym teacher? Shrub!"
Coach Hedge hobbles up to the front using his crutches. Come to think of it, there have been a lot of injuries this school year.
Hedge holds his megaphone out for Will to speak through, because why would you trust a twenty-year-old pre-med student with a water-proof drop-proof piece of sports equipment?
"My question is for Lacy," Will says. "If elected, how would you like to improve the campus community for LGBT-identifying students?"
Piper's seen this tactic before. Will probably knows the answer to that question, considering he designed Lacy's posters, but sometimes, when you want to shine a light on certain aspects of your campaign or when you might not be prepared for every kind of question, you plant one of your own in the audience. For Lacy, it's kind of obvious because she and Will are friends, and of course, she would run on a specifically LGBT-inclusive platform because she's the social media coordinator for the GSA club.
Despite knowing this, Piper turns her attention to Lacy.
"I... I um..." Lacy starts. Her eyes widen as if noticing the suspiciously large turnout for the first time. Lacy pulls the microphone closer to her body, not that she wants to be heard. The poor thing seems nervous out of her mind. All of a sudden, Piper's thankful that she took that public speaking course.
Lacy slams her Captain America binder shut and storms off the stage. At first, Piper wonders if she should go comfort her, but Will is already on the scene. He snatches Lacy's binder from the podium and chases after her. There's nothing suspicious about a frantic guy holding a binder full of empty notebook paper charging into the women's restroom. Can Will play the 'doctor's orders' card if he isn't a doctor yet?
Jason takes the opportunity to divert the attention away from Lacy, a move Piper should have thought of herself. "Well, I for one, would like to draw attention to the lacking features in staff applications here at New Rome. Did you know that faculty members don't even have to submit a list of references?"
The crowd mumbles amongst itself in response to Jason's shocking discovery.
"It's true," Jason says. "Background checks can also simply be bypassed, including both criminal and credential checks. Just last year, I took a Latin class with a teaching assistant who hadn't even earned his undergraduate degree."
Someone sitting in the front of the crowd gasps and drops their popcorn.
"Annabeth, get us an exclusive with Octavian!" Leo demands.
"Annabeth, I want more chocolate milk!" Frank holds his Color Me Mine mug in the air.
Annabeth rolls her eyes and takes the mug whilst recording a voice memo: "Kick Percy's ass."
"Do any of the candidates care to respond to Jason's assertation?" Dean D asks. "Or could someone at least give me the Sparknotes version of whatever the hell he just said?"
Piper pulses the microphone closer to her face. Leaning forward to address Jason, she says, "I'm sorry. Am I under the impression that you think our entire faculty is underqualified?" She's not one for sweeping generalizations, but nobody in the audience will know the difference.
"Wait," Jason says. "I thought this was a town hall. Why does Piper get to respond?"
"It's a debate. Penny, please continue," the dean says.
Piper clears her throat. "For the record, I want you all to know that my name is Piper. That's what you'll want to write on your ballot if I'm so lucky to receive your vote." She flashes that movie star smile she inherited from her father.
The audience cheers for Piper; the Hunters even give her a standing ovation.
Jason turns sheet white. "That's- That's not what I was-"
Piper isn't done with her counterargument yet. "I love New Rome Community College with every fiber of my being! I'm running to make sure New Rome stays great—no affiliation with certain political figures, of course. Vote me for student body president! I'm Piper, and I'm one of you!"
Hazel and Nico politely clap in the middle of the sea of rioting students. It's turning into chaos; it's the kind of chaos that just makes New Rome New Rome.
Clarisse La Rue snaps a metal chair over her knee and throws it in the middle of an interview Frank and Leo are trying to conduct with Octavian. Annabeth is speaking into a headset. Clovis is passed out in the aisle. The Hunters are fighting with the Mars coed fraternity.
Hazel and Nico continue to applaud as if this is perfectly normal and to be fair, it is normal.
"Yes, Magnus?" Dean D asks.
"Pop! Pop!" says the candidate from Valhalla.
Jason puts his hand over his microphone and turns to Piper. Something tells her that he is not as impressed with her performance as everyone else is. "This is your fault," he hisses. "Why can't you take this seriously?"
Piper shrugs. He's just jealous of her natural charisma, so she tells him just that. "Why are you so cranky? Oh, maybe it's because the voters love me and not you. Yeah, that's probably it." So what if she's being mean? This is politics! It's all a joke anyway!
"That's it," says Jason. "You're on. I'm going to win, and you're going to see that school elections are important. This is my school! It's not a joke."
"That would have been an inspiring thing to say if people were listening," Dean D interrupts. "Fortunately for my drinking problem, this morning's debate has concluded. Hopefully, I can get Brunner to moderate this afternoon, but I sincerely doubt he'll be able to get out of quarantine. Bah! Two weeks can't go by fast enough!" He tears his weird sparkly antennae off his head and slams them against the folding table, which Piper just now realizes is actually a pingpong table, net and all. Inventive. That's what you might call "New Rome Charm."
✎✎✎
A new Instagram account has requested to follow Piper, so as one does, she clicks on the account to do a little stalking. The username is @FranknLeo.Morning and the profile picture is of two tacky cartoon suns, one with Leo's face photoshopped in it and the other with Frank's. They look like if the Teletubbies ever went inclusive. Then again, Tinky Winky got fired for being gay, so maybe that's not the best analogy to use.
Piper sets her phone on the table in front of her. "Percy, what is this account that Leo and Frank just requested to follow me with?"
Percy clears his throat and sets down his drink from Starbucks. "Frank and Leo in the moooorning!" he sings. "Have a seat, will ya?"
"You just want me to buy you a coffee."
"Pipes, you have like, unlimited dining dollars. And besides, I'm a tea guy now."
"Tell me what this is and then we'll talk tea."
"Click on that first video."
Piper taps on the video and turns up her volume just loud enough to hear Frank and Leo sing that stupid jingle: "Frank and Leo in the moooorning!"
"And we're back!" Leo says.
"Welcome to every New Roman's favorite morning show!" Frank says.
And then the two sing that god-awful jingle again as if Piper doesn't already know she's watching Frank and Leo in the Morning.
"I'm Leo, and this is Frank, and we're your one-stop shop for New Rome student body president election coverage! Let's take a look at some of our candidates, shall we?" Leo asks.
"Oh, of course!" says Frank.
Piper's seen enough. "This is kind of stupid, don't you think?"
Percy tilts his head back and finishes his tea. "They have pretty accurate polling information."
Piper taps on the next video. To no surprise, the grainy picture Leo and Frank got of her is shown at the top of the polls, and Lacy's face is grey. The other candidates fall somewhere in between.
"This is our poll, courtesy of our super sexy Mamacita-"
"Leo!"
"Sorry, Annabeth," Leo and Frank say simultaneously.
Frank stacks his papers like a real newscaster. "Please note that there is a 99.9% margin of error."
"Okay," Piper says to Percy. "How the heck is Annabeth involved in this?"
Percy leans back in his seat. "Oh, it's quite simple; I bet her that if I could make her... shoot, maybe it's not that simple..."
Piper is kind of fed up with Percy and Annabeth's rivalry, so she chooses not to entertain Percy's story. "Thanks for filling me in, but I should get back to the debate stage. Fashionable tardiness might be too much of a risk."
"Good luck," says Percy. "Hate to admit it, but you might have my vote. Jason's great, but he's..." He struggles to find the right words.
"He's got a stick up his ass?" Piper supplies.
"Sounds about right."
✎✎✎
The debate stage is set up the same as before, except with one less podium. Instead of Lacy on her left, Travis and Connor are playing a round of rock, paper, scissors to decide who has to talk first. Classy.
"Alright everybody, time for the final round of debates," Dean D says. "Once this is over, the voters will put their ballots in this super-secret and secure ballot box." He sets a barrel that used to contain Utz brand cheeseballs onto the table. He didn't even bother to make a cute voting label for it or clean the cheese dust out of the bottom.
Piper loves this school. Why would anybody want to change it?
Everyone kind of looks across the stage at each other. Leo and Frank are conducting their morning show in the back of the cafeteria even though it isn't morning anymore. Piper can hear that stupid jingle now: Frank and Leo in the afternoooon!
Travis and Connor snicker. Magnus from Valhalla waves at the camera that Hazel somehow got stuck holding.
"You guys can start debating now," Dean D says.
Jason pushes his glasses up his face and pulls out a purple notecard. How regal. Piper's just so impressed. "So Piper," of course Jason addresses her. It's nice being the biggest threat, but maybe she should have waited until now to pull ahead. Now she just has this big target on her back. Jason reads from his card, "The people have noticed that a large chunk of your support comes from the Hunters, who are suspected of gang activity. What do you have to say about that?"
The Hunters? Gang members? Well, probably. "I mean, they go to New Rome. They're paying tuition just like everyone else-"
"What about the accusations that they may be using threats to coerce others into supporting your campaign?"
"Well, uh-"
"We can answer that!" Phoebe from the Hunters shouts.
"Yeah!" shouts Thalia. "We're not a gang anymore! Technically, we never were!"
Zoë holds a pair of roller skates in the air. "We're a roller derby team now!"
"And a sorority!" says Phoebe.
"We even have a faculty advisor!" says Thalia.
"There's no way this is happening," Jason mutters.
A young woman steps forward and takes off her hat, revealing long purple hair.
"Diana?" Dean D asks. "I thought you weren't into student activities!"
"There is one rule in our sorority house: members must renounce relations with men," Diana says, "and clean up after themselves! Girls can be such hogs!"
Phoebe belches to demonstrate.
Piper has her perfect response now. "I'm honored to have the support of such a strong group of empowered women. Truly, I can't thank you enough."
"Don't mention it," says Thalia. "Where's the sign?"
A couple of the Hunters reach into a tote bag and unfold a sign that says, "HELL YEAH PIPER!" Zoë has a giant cut-out of Piper's face.
Annabeth taps one of the Hunters on the shoulder, most likely asking her about giving an exclusive interview on Frank and Leo's morning show.
"Yes, Margaret," Dean D says, exasperated.
Everybody knows what Magnus is going to say. "Pop! Pop!" Does he ever say anything else?
The crowd echoes: "Pop! Pop!" Even Dean D raises the roof a little.
They don't get to hear the rest of Magnus's platform because Jason isn't done attacking Piper.
"I have another question about Piper," he says.
Hoping to fluster him, Piper says, "Wow, it's like you're obsessed with me."
"Nico, could you get the audio-visual portion of my presentation hooked up please?"
Piper wants to get mad and assert that this debate is no place for audio-visuals, but nothing about this debate has been fair so far. How come she didn't think of a PowerPoint or an iMovie or something? She could have swept this election by now!
"Yup." Nico hits a button on a remote, activating a projection screen.
Jason logs onto his laptop and pulls up a video. "I ask you, New Rome, is Piper really who you want as student body president?"
A couple of people boo Jason, but then he hits play on the video.
And it's that video.
"Hi! My name is Piper McLean, and this is my Make Your Mark: Shake It Up Dance Off entry!" It's so much worse than Piper could have possibly imagined. Music from that tacky Disney Channel series starts playing while ten-year-old Piper starts dancing around her living room.
"Oh god, not the pirouettes..." she mutters. Despite having taken dance lessons since preschool, ten-year-old Piper cannot dance to save her life. There is no silver lining here.
Everyone's laughing.
The campaign is ruined. Piper's reputation is ruined.
Phoebe and the other Hunters are pointing and laughing like a bunch of playground bullies. The Stolls are already asking Jason where he got the footage. Hell, even sweet little Hazel and her stone-faced half-brother Nico are laughing.
Piper's eyes sting with tears. God, the only thing more embarrassing than people seeing that stupid Shake It Up video she uploaded to DisneyChannel.com without a parent's permission would be crying over it.
So she makes a run for it.
It's probably even less graceful than her dancing, but she just needs to be... anywhere else.
✎✎✎
Piper slams the door behind her and sinks to the ground. Like the tough rebellious person she is, she buries her head between her legs and cries. It's been a while since she had a good cry. Don't say you don't know what it means to have a good cry. Everyone needs a good cry once in a while, the same way everyone needs to scream into the pantry in the back of Carrabba's Italian Grill once every month or so. You don't get the chance to cry all that much when you're living in the New Rome Community College residence halls.
So anyways, Piper's crying in the middle of a storage closet converted into a breakroom for New Rome's tech crew, a.k.a. the people Dean D calls whenever he forgets the password to his Twitter account. For lack of better words, it's kind of a vibe in here. The mini-fridge is stocked with Dr. Pepper. There's a sexy Jane Fonda poster above the scrapped copy machine. The soft whir of a filter coming from the goldfish tank in the corner is loud enough to overtake Piper's sobs. Percy would be appalled at the condition of the aquarium.
The thought of her marine-biology major friend brings a smile to Piper's face. Isn't it funny how friends can make a person smile despite her being in the middle of a mental breakdown?
Confession time: Piper doesn't like to be alone when she's sad. You'd think she'd be conditioned to cry alone since neither of her parents is what you'd call 'present,' but she really wants to have a friend to comfort her. If Leo were here, he'd be telling corny jokes, but Piper would still be thankful. Preferably, she'd like some snuggles from Frank or a homemade brownie from Hazel, but she'd be okay hanging out with Percy. Hell, even cranky Annabeth would make her feel better to some degree.
Piper lurches forward when the door opens.
"Hey, Pipes," says Jason.
Oh, anybody but Jason. Piper puts her mask on even though it's soaked through with her tears.
"Leave me alone." How creative of her.
"Please listen to me-"
"Get out!"
Jason pushes his glasses higher up on his face. "Okay, you know I'm all about respect, so I'll let you go, but first just let me apologize. I went way too far with that video. I'm so sorry." He hands her a travel-sized package of tissues. The package has a bunch of tacky COVID-19-themed slogans on it like "ALL IN THIS TOGETHER" and "DO YOUR PART, STAY APART."
Reluctantly, Piper takes the tissues and dabs her eyes. What little makeup she bothered to put on today is completely ruined; she must look like a clown.
Jason cracks the door open to leave.
"Wait," says Piper. "I'm sorry too. I turned your campaign into a joke."
He shrugs. "You know, I really wanted to be student body president, but you were right when you said I need to lighten up. Maybe I can get involved with student government as like, vice president or something."
"Thank you," Piper says. Then, she realizes. "Hold on a second; did you get eliminated?"
Jason sighs. "Sort of? I went after you and the dean asked if I was still participating because he didn't want to pause the debate. I said he could just scratch my name off."
"So the election is between the Stoll brothers and some guy who doesn't even go here."
"Uh, yeah, pretty much."
"Wow," says Piper. "I'm flattered that you'd give up such an easy win for me."
Jason's glasses fog up. "It wouldn't have been that easy."
"Travis and Connor have a solid inclusion platform, but they're a hot mess. And come on, you really think you'd lose to some guy from Valhalla who only knows how to say one word?"
Jason chuckles. "Thanks, Pipes."
Piper stares at the fish tank for a little while longer. Jason's not cuddling with her or making jokes or bringing her brownies, yet somehow she feels completely at ease. He's not even talking to her anymore. Normally, Piper's the kind of girl who needs to have some sort of noise to fill any kind of silence, but with Jason, it's different. It's comfortable.
At last, Jason breaks the silence. "Maybe we should have run together. We could have been a good team."
"Right?" Piper agrees. "We kicked ass at the debate against City College last year!"
Jason throws his head back and laughs so hard he bonks it against a crowbar that's just hanging from the wall. "Ow!" he yells.
"Are you okay?" Piper asks.
"I'm okay... I'll let you know if I feel tired or anything though. Oh shoot, can you...Can you check and see if I'm bleeding?"
Piper tilts Jason's head so she can see, which is kind of difficult in this lighting, so she has to use the flashlight on her cellphone. "Nope, you're okay. I can't say anything about the concussion though, so don't blame me if you get amnesia or something." Thankfully, the tool did not pierce Jason's skin. She hopes he doesn't have a concussion again; the poor guy really can't handle any more major head injuries.
Jason turns to face Piper again. "Thanks," he says. And then, "About that amnesia thing... do you think that could happen to me? I mean, I'm prone to concussions, but I've never gotten amnesia. Do you think it's one of those things that only happens to some people, or could I really wake up tomorrow with no clue who I am?"
What an odd question to ask. Then again, Jason Grace is an odd man. Why is Piper so fascinated by his oddity? He's just a regular dude. Sure, he's a dork, but why does she feel like she needs to defend him like she's the only one who can make fun of him?
Finally, she has her answer, both to Jason's pressing questions and the ones that have been nagging her since the first time she walked into the study room. "I'm not sure, but just in case, you might want to say anything you need to say now," Piper says, "or do anything you want to do, for that matter."
"Anything I want?" It's like Jason's a kid in a candy store and his mom just told him he could eat the entire scoop-it-yourself section.
Piper nods, still not taking her hand from Jason's short hair.
"Do you mind if I take my mask off?" she asks.
"What for?"
"Well, if it's alright, I'd like to kiss you."
Pew! Pew-pew-pew! Hear that? No worries, it's just the fireworks that are probably going off in Jason's brain. He can't do anything but nod his head.
Jason's shaky hands reach for Piper's face, which she's sure is crusty from the ruined mascara. Now is not the time to get self-conscious though!
Piper takes in the sort of fresh air when Jason slips the loop of her mask off her ear. It's like even gravity is moving in slow motion. How dare it?
Why the hell is she so nervous? She kissed Jason just last year during the debate competition, and she didn't even have to feel him out! She's naturally talented at certain things, and kissing just happens to be one of those certain things.
Yeah, this is it. As soon as her lips collide with Jason's, the fireworks show comes to a halt and the passion begins.
There are three things Piper takes away from her kiss with Jason:
1. That little scar does not hinder Jason in the slightest. He is by far one of the best kissers she's ever kissed. His lips move like the wind, but in a graceful way—not in the speedy cowboy way.
2. The study group is going to go berserk if they find out about this, especially since Piper and Jason are the ones that came up with the no-dating pact during one of the first couple weeks of their freshmen year.
3. She wants to make out with Jason again, preferably soon.
They pull away at last since air is scarce in this not-closet, but before Piper can come up with something intelligent to say like, "uh," or "durr," someone tears the door open, practically blinding Piper with that harsh lighting.
"Frank and Leo in the moooorning!" Piper wants to murder whichever of them came up with that stupid jingle, but she doesn't know which one of them did it, so she opts for killing both of them.
"Woah!" Leo drops his microphone.
"Hey!" Frank falls onto his ass.
Just as fast, they scramble back into position.
Leo clears his throat. "We were hoping to get an exclusive interview with the two of you." Why do all of his interviews have to be exclusive?
"Yeah, we want to know everything," Frank adds. Does this mean they know about what Piper and Jason just did?
Jason stammers. "I, uh-"
"Did you quit the election over the video, Piper?" Leo asks.
"Why did you forfeit just to see Piper even though she was your top competitor throughout the race?" Frank asks Jason.
"What do you have to say to all your supporters?"
"Which of the remaining candidates will you endorse?"
There goes Piper's magical moment with Jason. She supposes the odds of either of them actually discussing this are low, especially since Jason might wake up with amnesia tomorrow.
Oh well. At least she had that good long cry.
✎✎✎
"Welcome back to a special edition of... Frank and Leo in the Morning!"
"Today," Leo says, "we're bringing you extra special election coverage. Who's ready for some results, people?"
"I'm going to need some more chocolate milk." Frank rubs his forehead while someone—probably Annabeth—refills his drink. He takes a sip and then continues to speak. "I have a feeling things are going to be intense."
"Ditto!" says Leo, although he seems to have no worries about the future of New Rome's student government. "Annabeth, show 'em the polls!"
"We don't have any polls! The whole freakin' debate went to hell after Jason and Piper left!" Annabeth shouts from somewhere off-camera.
Frank and Leo look at each other, and then back toward the camera. Leo takes a sip of whatever he has in his Frank and Leo in the Morning mug.
Finally, Frank clears his throat. "And on that note, let's take a look at a recap from the end of the final debate."
The screen cuts to footage of Travis and Connor on their stand, and Magnus from Valhalla on the other.
"Now candidates," Dean D says. "Many students are bugging me with questions about your campaign platforms since we pretty much only heard from Jerold and Perse up until this point."
Magnus raises his hand. "Pop! Pop!"
"Yeah, but what about the people with allergies?" Connor asks him. "Sure, the changes we want to make to the cafeteria are nuts, but we're at least trying to keep the nuts away from the people with allergies!"
Magnus thinks for a minute, and then says, "Pop! Pop!" whilst raising the roof.
"I got this," says Travis. "An ice cream bar is something we considered, but for now, it's best to set up a staff-served stand since COVID-19 is still a thing. It's too risky for people to be serving themselves!"
"Pop! Pop!"
Everyone gasps.
"Did you just say indoor dining?" Connor asks.
"No," says the dean. "I'm pretty sure he just said 'Pop! Pop!'"
The footage cuts back to Leo and Frank. It is no longer morning, so can they even call it Frank and Leo in the Morning?
"There you have it, folks!" says Leo. "Who's it gonna be?"
Frank hands his empty mug off to Annabeth and pulls his mask over his face again. "I mean, Magnus doesn't even go here, so-"
"That was rhetorical, Frank!"
"I thought we were analysts."
"No, we're reporters."
Annabeth chimes in. "I also thought we were analysts."
"Shut up, Annabeth!" Frank and Leo say in unison. At least there's one thing they can agree on.
Piper pauses the video and hands the phone to Jason. "I'm not sure I can watch this anymore."
"Piper," Jason says. "The election happened yesterday and you still don't know who won."
"I don't need to see the big reveal though."
"Normally, I would agree, but you wouldn't believe it if you found out from any other source."
"Not even the newspaper?" Piper cocks an eyebrow.
Jason twiddles his thumbs. "Well, I've been too busy with the election this week, and Silena couldn't find anyone to sub for me."
Ah yes, Jason and his student activities. The only club he's joined that's less popular than Ultimate Frisbee is the New Roman Times, New Rome Community College's newspaper that's published on Tumblr. Silena Beauregard is the current editor of the paper, but ever since she got together with her boyfriend, Charles Beckendorf, last semester, she's been neglecting her duties, and apparently, that includes finding someone else to write the politics section of the paper while Jason is seeking out other student activities. Piper only knows this because Jason won't shut up about his student activities.
And for the record, Jason does not have amnesia, but he might as well because he hasn't brought up the very real kiss they shared yesterday in the techie lounge.
"Trust me," Jason says. "You want to keep watching this." He hits play on his phone again, and Leo and Frank keep blabbering about elections and numbers, Annabeth cutting in to inform them about the political system and New Rome's bylaws now and then.
"What's this?" Leo presses his hand to a Bluetooth earphone he's pretending to have. "I hear the results are in!"
"I've got the image hooked up now—thanks for the graphic, Mitchell," Annabeth says.
A flashy graphic appears on the screen. "And the winner is..." Frank says, "Uh, Annabeth are you sure?"
"That's what Nico sent us."
"This isn't a prank, Leo, is it?"
"Nope."
Frank sighs. "Fine. The people of New Rome Community College have spoken."
Leo cuts in. "Your next student body president is... Phil Swift, CEO of Flex Seal and inventor of other Flex products such as Flex Tape, Flex Glue, and Flex Shot!"
Piper gasps. "He wasn't on the ballot!"
Jason takes his phone back. "I guess they wrote him in? To be fair, he's probably more qualified than either of the remaining candidates."
"I guess I would've been upset if a student from Valhalla was put in charge of our school."
"And now," Leo says on the screen, "It's time for our cooking segment!"
Frank gives the camera a finger gun. "Back to you, Sherman!"
The footage cuts to Sherman, wearing a blood-red apron that says, 'Kiss the Cook' in flaming letters. "Hi, everyone! Sherman here from Mars coed fraternity, fifth chapter! Today, I'm going to teach you all how to make my super famous—and kind of dangerous—Dunk-A-Roo dip!"
"Wow, that sounds delicious!" says Leo.
Frank furrows his eyebrows. "Did you just call it dangerous?"
"Kind of dangerous," Sherman corrects. "Dunk-A-Roo dip is the perfect dessert for any party. Now, gather your ingredients: Cool-Whip, raw Funfetti cake batter-"
"Raw cake batter?" Frank seems absolutely appalled.
"Yes. I prefer the Pillsbury brand. Now..."