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"Like crazy," Finnick answered without an ounce of doubt, nodding his head slightly as he spoke. A few seconds passed in which Dove remained silent, staring at him up and down as if trying to decide something.
Her right hand went to his grey outfit's sleeve, pulling it upwards just enough to let her trace his forearm with her finger. "Finnick . . . are we really in Thirteen?" Dove asked.
"Yes, we are," Finnick affirmed, glancing at her unbothered expression. Where did all the desperation and joy from earlier go? She was so cold now. So distant. As if their relationship had gone to that lost year when they didn't talk to each other.
"If we're in Thirteen, why has my family not come to visit me? Why are they not here? They're alive, right?" She questioned, stopping the tracing on his arm to finish braiding her hair. "And Peeta . . . no one tells me anything about him, doesn't matter how much I ask."
"They're alive, but the doctors won't let us all come in. They fear how it might affect you, moreover if they tell you about Peeta. He's not doing OK. He was hijacked to believe Katniss is a threat to him. Your room is the furthest possible from his." He explained, taking a seat on the bed right next to her just as she finished braiding her hair.
"Hijacked? What does that mean?" Dove questioned, letting her hands fall to her lap as she glanced at him.
"Beetee explained that it's a form of fear conditioning torture. They showed him fake memories while injecting him with tracker jacker venom. They repeated the process until the memories were stuck in his mind, making him afraid of Katniss. So afraid that he would see her as life-threatening." Despite the doctor's warning about saying anything triggering, Finnick couldn't possibly hide such important information from Dove, much less when she asked about it herself. "He didn't attack Katniss, so Beetee thinks something went wrong with the torture or Snow's plan wasn't to kill her with Peeta."
"No. Snow's plan was definitely to kill Katniss. What he didn't expect was that Peeta and I would catch on to what was happening with his torture," Dove muttered, sliding herself off the bed as she tried to get to the door. Finnick was right beside her, making sure she wouldn't fall. "We chatted, every night. I don't remember how or when it happened, but soon we realised what they were doing to him. Until the day of the last interview . . . they used it on me too. "
"Dove . . ." Finnick muttered, not knowing what could he say or do to make her feel better. Probably nothing. He didn't know which memories they had altered, but fear was the most difficult thing to overcome.
"Don't worry, I won't attack you. Unlike Peeta, they didn't make me fear you. I'm afraid of myself. I'm a mutt. When . . . when I took the scissors, I didn't feel like myself. It was as if something had overtaken me. A sense of fear and exhaustion . . . I just wanted everything to end. It didn't matter how," she said, resting her back against the wall next to the door. "Finnick, are we really safe here?"
Finnick took a few seconds to reply, wondering which answer would be the least mental damaging for her after what she had admitted. However, he knew lying to her would be as bad as telling the truth. "I don't know. But what I do know is that, right now, Thirteen is safer than the Capitol or District Four. Still, I promise that once this is over, I'm taking you home."
"Miss Ogilvy, Mister Odair," a doctor greeted as they pushed the door open. They had a book in their hands. Not any book. It was Dove's songbook. "Your family thought this could be helpful to you. Your head doctor will arrive shortly, and I fear Mister Odair will have to leave the room. Patients may not have company during check-ups, just to make sure they're comfortable answering the questions."
Dove took the songbook from the doctor's hands, nodding to make them know she had been listening to his explanation. They didn't say another word and closed the door right behind them after leaving.
My songbook. What's it doing in Thirteen? Dove thought, looking down at her hands, which gripped the book. It didn't mind, though. No matter how it had been, she had it with her. Her precious diary, which was filled with her thoughts and secrets.
"I'm sorry. I read it without your consent. There's not much excuse for it. I needed something to hold on to while you were gone," Finnick said, standing next to her as they walked back to the bed. It didn't take long to get a reply since Dove shook her head almost immediately.
"It's OK," she muttered, taking a seat on the bed while flipping through the pages. Welcome to Hell, the unfinished song she was supposed to sing during Peeta's and Katniss' victory tour. The page was completely blank except for the title, which she had crossed out the same day it was written. "Did you read the last songs?"
"No, I didn't," he answered, convinced, watching as Dove searched until she stopped on a page with the title Safe and Sound. It was the last page, therefore the last song she had written.
"I wrote it the day before the Quell's reaping. You were sound asleep right next to me. I remember writing this while thinking my father would volunteer for you. I wanted to say goodbye. After all, I wasn't planning on coming back alive," Dove said, tracing the page lightly as if trying to remember that night in more detail.
"Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire.
The war outside our door keeps raging on,
Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone," she sang, her eyes not leaving the book as memories replayed in her mind.
District Four's beach at midnight, Annie's and Angel's wedding, dancing happily with Finnick—All of them appeared like flashes of light. Too quickly, barely visible, but radiant enough to make it difficult to miss it.
I need to walk. I need to get out of here. Dove thought, getting up from her bed to walk to the door. She needed air. Not everything she had seen was good. Struggling, blood, death, things the Capitol wouldn't have minded altering had appeared too.
She tried to open the door, but it was firmly locked. Looking back behind, she spotted two sea-green eyes staring at her worriedly. Without thinking, she turned around to meet Finnick completely, wrapping her arms around him to calm herself like she once did.
The gesture surprised Finnick, who replied immediately, holding her close to him as he stroked her hair. "It'll be all right, I promise," he muttered, kissing her head just before a doctor entered the room, greeting the couple as they introduced themselves as Dove's head doctor.
Finnick was forced to exit the room, leaving the head doctor and Dove alone to do a check-up on her mental health stability. "How is she?" Melo and Angel asked agitatedly as he got out of the room to the hallway.
"Not good, as we expected," Finnick replied, explaining every little detail Dove had said about the torture or her memories.
"So, she could help Peeta?" Ron questioned, glancing at everyone. They were acknowledging what that would mean for Dove if Plutarch found out. Being used. Because, with Peeta in such a state, Katniss was practically numb. And, if Dove could change that, he would use her.
"She wants to see Peeta, anyway. At least we know he won't attack her. He trusts her," Angel reasoned, taking a hold of Annie's hand. "We should tell them. It's not fair for Katniss either. If the roles were reversed, I'm sure Peeta would help Dove, and I would appreciate that a lot."
"OK, let's do that. But, if it goes wrong, she's not seeing him until it's completely safe," Librae agreed, causing the rest to go along with the plan.
"We should go tell Katniss. I don't think she has left Johanna's side, so let's start by searching there," Melo proposed to Finnick after the rest had gone to Special Defence to deliver the news. "She should know from us, not anyone else."
Finnick agreed, following Melo until Johanna's hospital room, where Katniss and Prim still sat. The news had completely different reactions from the three girls. Katniss seemed relieved. Johanna was angry. And Prim was worried about Peeta and Dove, knowing the interaction could go either really good or really bad, no in-between.
It took days, almost a whole week, to make sure Peeta was stable enough to meet anyone he could recognise. After all, he had only seen people from Thirteen in those same past days.
Dove, however, had been discharged after the fourth day from continued monitoring under the conditions that she would attend regular check-ups with the head doctor, and would be accompanied by someone during the day until further notice. Johanna, who had a compartment to herself, proposed Dove and Katniss join her.
Out of the three of them, only Johanna had a schedule to follow, which, overall, she ignored thanks to her mentally unstable bracelet. But sometimes, there were events she couldn't ignore, and that day was one of those events.
Katniss walked around Thirteen slowly, showing Dove every place she should know and even some of her own hiding places when she wanted to be alone. "I think we've walked enough. We're near Special Defence. Do you want to go see the Hummingbird room? We can rest there for a while," Katniss suggested, knowing Dove had a huge lack of stamina that was even more present now that she had done no sport or proper walking for weeks.
"Sure," Dove replied simply, following Katniss to a lift that moved in weird directions. Passing by the rooms on the way to the Hummingbird room, Katniss spotted Gale in one of the research rooms with Beetee. There were designs all over the place.
"What are these?" Katniss questioned, pausing in front of the room to take a better look at the sketches.
"Ah, Katniss, you've found us out. And hello Dove. It's good to have you back," said Beetee in a cheerful voice.
"Good to be back, Beetee," Dove answered in a monotone tone, although her lips curved slightly upwards.
"Is this a secret?" Katniss asked, pointing at the pieces of paper and the screens displaying the different images.
"Not really. But I've felt a little guilty about it. Stealing Gale away from you so much," Beetee admitted, causing Dove to look at Katniss with her eyebrows raised. She didn't know something was happening between Gale, who was supposed to be his cousin, and her.
"I hope you've been putting his time to good use," Katniss commented lightly.
"Come and see," he said, waving the two girls to enter the room and stare at a computer screen. It showed some kind of booby trap. It was designed to target an area, using the most humane impulse to be the person's demise. Compassion. First, one bomb exploded, killing the first target. But then, giving enough time for the rescues to do their job, the second bomb, way more powerful than the one before, exploded, killing them as well.
"That seems to be crossing some kind of line," Katniss said, to which Dove silently agreed. "So anything goes? I guess there isn't a rule book for what might be unacceptable to do to another human being."
"Sure there is. Beetee and I have been following the same rule book President Snow used when he hijacked Peeta and your friend over here," replied Gale, hostility clear in his tone.
"That doesn't make you any better than him, then, does it?" Dove muttered under her breath, not loud enough for the boy to hear her. The last thing she needed was a verbal battle with anyone.
"You two, come on," Haymitch called, entering the room. Dove and Katniss turned around to meet him. "We need you back up at the hospital."
"What for?" Katniss asked.
"They agreed to Librae's proposal. At first, they were going to use Delly to talk to Peeta, but they accepted to let Dove enter instead," he explained while the two followed him to the lift.
"Delly?" Dove asked Katniss, who explained about the girl. Delly Cartwright, a girl from Twelve who had lost her family during the fire, was a cheerful person who treated everyone as her own best friends. She was quite close to Peeta when they were kids, from what Katniss had heard, which would be great to see until what point he had his memories altered.
"Katniss!" A girl greeted them when they arrived at the hospital. Her smile suggested she had been friends with Katniss for a long time, which, knowing Katniss' personality, was difficult, to say the least. She must be Delly. Dove thought, analysing her. "You must be Dove! It's great to meet you. I'm Delly."
"Hi," Dove greeted, trying her best to put a smile on her face. Glancing behind the girl, she spotted her family chatting among them. "A pleasure to meet you, Delly. But I have to talk with my family. I'll see you later, Katniss."
"I can't believe you just abandoned Katniss like that," Johanna commented mockingly as Dove approached the group.
"That girl was being too cheerful for my liking. She's not a bad kid, though." Dove answered, resting her head on Finnick's shoulder as they expected to hear her name being called. Before entering, the only warning she had received was from Plutarch, who told her to evade any subject about Katniss or the Capitol, which she knew would be complicated.
"We'll go to the observation room. If anything happens, I'll be there immediately, OK?" Finnick promised, kissing her forehead before leaving her in front of the door to Peeta's room.
As Dove entered the room cautiously, she could see how Peeta reacted, alarmed at the sudden presence. "Peeta? It's me, Dove."
"Dove," Peeta repeated. "They never told me anything about you. It didn't matter how much I asked. Did someone hurt you? Where are we?"
"No. Don't worry, no one hurt me here," Dove said, approaching his bed as he tried his best to look at her. His bed had restraints on his arms and legs, which he didn't fight. "They didn't tell me anything about you either . . . Peeta. We are in District Thirteen."
"That's what those people have been saying. But it makes no sense. Why aren't we in our Districts?" Peeta asked.
Dove sat where his prosthetic leg should be, caressing his restrained hand to show him comfort before saying one of the worst news she had to give him. "Peeta . . . District Twelve no longer exists."
"What do you mean it doesn't exist?" Peeta questioned, taking her hand for support as he looked straight into her eyes. "Dove, please. Tell me."
"Twelve was burned to the ground. I don't know what happened exactly. I'm pretty sure it's one of those memories they altered in our minds," Dove confessed, not taking her eyes off him for a second.
"What about my family?" he added, squeezing her hand tightly as he was clearly remembering something.
"They didn't make it. Some people from your district got out in time, but not many," she muttered comfortingly. "There's a friend of yours, Delly, who wanted to visit you. I'm pretty sure you'll see her soon."
"Twelve burned down . . . It was because of her, wasn't it?" Peeta claimed angrily, pulling on his restraints, which made him let go of Dove's hand. "Because of Katniss!"
"Peeta, you're wrong. It's not because of her," Dove replied as calm as she could. Maybe visiting Peeta when she was so unstable herself had been a bad idea.
"Did she tell you that?" He hissed in reply. In no time, the door behind her had opened. It was a clear sign they wanted to end the interaction there. But Dove didn't want to. Not with such a misunderstanding.
"She didn't-" Dove began, but was interrupted mid-sentence as Peeta yelled again.
"Because she's lying! She's a liar! You can't believe anything she says! She's some kind of mutt the Capitol created to use against the rest of us!" He said.
"Peeta-" She tried again, losing her patience as he interrupted her again.
"Don't trust her, Dove," added Peeta in a rushed, almost frenetic state. "I did, and she tried to kill me. She killed my friends. My family. Don't even go near her! She's a mutt!"
Dove, who was still by Peeta's side, clapped once loudly, which surprised him enough to quiet down. "Peeta, listen to me! First, Katniss is not a mutt. You and I are the mutts. Second, have you heard what you just said? We just discussed that weeks ago. Those memories are fake, Peeta. She did not kill your family, she did not try to kill you, she did not kill your friends, and she did not cause Twelve's destruction."
"How do you know that?" He questioned, letting his arms fall onto the bed again. He was no longer struggling by pulling the restraints.
"I told you I don't know what happened. But I do know what Snow would like us to believe. Until a few moments ago, I thought Twelve burning to the ground was my fault. But, it's not. Neither it's yours, Katniss' or anyone else's fault," she explained, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"It's not?" He asked confusedly, trying to recall anything that could tell him those memories were wrong.
"It's not," Dove affirmed, just before a hand grabbed her, pulling her out of the room. "What are you doing? Let me go!" She shouted, trying to break free from the person's grasp.
The man, who introduced himself as Boggs, let go of her once she was with her family in the observation room. It seemed Katniss wanted to go somewhere far away from Thirteen. She couldn't take Peeta's change.
"Katniss, I would like to go with you. But I hope you can understand why I want to stay," Ron told her, patting her back comfortingly as he looked back at his family, where Dove was being carefully examined by an anxious Finnick.
"It's OK, Ron. I know you have to take care of your family. Don't worry about it," Katniss replied, taking a quick glance at the family before looking back at him.
"But you're also part of our family, Katniss. You and Prim. If things get a bit long in Two, I promise to go help you out. You're not getting rid of me, you know that, right?" He commented playfully, nudging her side softly, which made her chuckle.
"Wouldn't dream of it," she answered.
The very next day, Katniss was already on her way to District Two. After a whole two weeks, the rebel camps had found no way of taking over the Nut, a mountain in Two where most of the Capitol forces left were.
Ron, who had gone to Two a few days ago to help Katniss out with the propos, sent constant messages to his family by phone, which obviously had a schedule. Plutarch mostly used it to give Katniss the news about Peeta's recovery, which weren't too good, although he always made them look better than they were.
"I've heard something funny today," Ron declared through the phone while Dove and Johanna listened to his story. They were the ones closest to Plutarch when the call arrived, which meant he immediately called them over. "You know Gale, right?"
"Yes," both replied, not sure of where Ron wanted to go with that question.
"Well, I accidentally overheard a conversation he had with Katniss this afternoon. I literally heard him say, 'Or even Finnick and Melo. I was starting to worry they had their eye on you, but seems they're back on track now'." He explained, causing Johanna to laugh loudly, as if it had been the best joke she had ever heard.
"He doesn't know Finnick nor Melo if he thinks they'd love Katniss," Johanna commented mockingly, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"That's exactly what Katniss said!" Ron added with a chuckle. After that, there wasn't much to explain. He told them about his day, and how things were in Two, but there was nothing to highlight, nor anything that would suggest he'd be back soon. "I'll talk to you again tomorrow. Love you. Goodnight."
"Love you, too," Dove said softly, before leaving the room. Sometimes she forgot someone had to accompany her. Her head doctor hadn't approved yet of letting her walk around alone, which meant Johanna, Melo, or Finnick, who was the most frequent, still had to follow her around Thirteen.
The Hummingbird room, where Dove felt the safest, had also become a place to relax and ask questions to whoever accompanied her that day. After two weeks, there weren't many questions left to ask. Nor was there anyone near to hear them, since she was alone.
"My name's Dove Ogilvy. I'm twenty-two years old. I was adopted at the age of three. My home is District Four. I went to the Hunger Games twice after volunteering. I lost my allies. It was my fault. Peeta and I were captured by the Capitol. We were hijacked, rescued and brought to Thirteen . . ." Dove mumbled, closing her eyes while covering her ears with her hands.
Come on, Dove. You can do it. Just one more day, and you'll be able to walk alone through Thirteen. Just one more day. Trying to convince herself everything would be alright was difficult. But it had to be done if she wanted some independence.
"Dove, there you are. Johanna was looking for you," Finnick said, sitting next to her on the ground as she stopped her rambling. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm not sure. Trying to know what's real, and what's made up it's killing me. And then, I have to help Peeta too. Without forgetting the daily mental check-up, that wears me out every time. I don't even do anything there. The doctor just spends hours telling me I'm safe and to say what I think whenever I need to, but that would get me in jail . . . Does that even exist in Thirteen?" She answered rapidly, not caring about pauses or pronunciation. Though she was sure Finnick would understand her.
"OK, maybe breathing would be a good way to get started," Finnick said lightly, causing Dove to chuckle and breathe in and out exaggeratedly loud. "That's better."
"I've missed you so much," Dove muttered, resting her head on his shoulder while looking at a newly added space in the Hummingbird room. It was some type of small waterfall which led to a sandy area resembling a beach. "Just like home." She mocked with a grin.
"Let's go there. It might cheer you up," he suggested, taking her hand and helping her up. They didn't walk much since the waterfall was just meters away from them. The beach space wasn't too big, but it let two people stand on the sand without being splashed by the water. "I have to say, this is not how I expected to ask. Do you, by any chance, remember that thing you owed me which you couldn't deny?"
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