"Hey… Ehm… Do you have some spare time?", Sean asked, rubbing his temple whilst sitting outside in the sun.
"Sure?", a certain redhead asked on speaker, already unsure about where this conversation was heading. "You don't sound really good…", Rebecca figured, sitting down, giving Marc a sign that this call was urgent.
"I…I don't know what to do anymore.", Sean confessed. "I… I tried everything."
"Woaw. Hey. What's going on? Start at the beginning.", Bex said with a frown. "Take a deep breath and tell me.", she said.
"It's Lana…", Sean sighed. "I actually called you just in case you had that kind of situation before… it's… okay. Wait.", he said, taking a breath. "It basically started after she collapsed. She started to be like… distanced. Just… her whole appearance changed. She isn't as happy around the kids. Her laughter seems like acting. She always looks like something is bothering her. She doesn't like any kind of physical contact and rushes out all of the sudden to cry in the bathroom. I have no idea what's going on. She doesn't talk to me.", Sean sighed.
"That sounds… strange.", Bex frowned. "No idea. Never had that before with her. Did you fight about something?", She asked.
"No. We didn't. I mean we did have some fights in the past days but that's not how it all started. And yesterday she told me it's not about me…but I am worried. Why wouldn't she talk to me? After everything we've been through she just blocks me out.", Sean confessed disappointed.
"Yeah… I… I can understand why. She didn't tell me about any problems either… which is strange. Should I ask Trish about it? Or like ask her to call Lana and have a talk. Trish always cracks her open and she is outside of the cast and everything, which helps sometimes as well.", Bex offers.
"I… I actually don't wanna be that guy who talks behind her back but… I can't see her struggle like that anymore. It hurts that she is not opening up to me but… I don't care as long as she talks to someone. Someone who can make her feel better. So yeah... Please call her.", he sighed.
"I understand what you mean… hey… keep your head up, okay? Lana is sometimes quite complex and needs some extra time. And she said it wasn't about you. Everything is going to be alright, okay?", Bex smiled.
"I hope so…"
*****
"Ms. Parrilla?", A blonde-haired woman repeated, ripping Lana out of her thoughts.
"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That's me.", she said, following into the examination room. Lana sat down on a chair, when the nice lady told her to wait for the doctor.
It didn't take long until the door opened again, revealing an elderly woman that must be near to retirement. She gave Lana a small smile, which she couldn't tell was a real or fake one before sitting down in front of her.
"Good morning. I am Dr. Martinez. How are we doing today?", She asked, putting her glasses down to type something on the computer, probably looking through Lana's old files.
"Ehm… I am just here to like… get a check-up? I guess I am pregnant… at least the tests said so. And… and I would like… need to know how… everything is going to work", she swallowed, completely shy. It was the moment she waited for the whole week and she was more than scared to figure out about everything that was related to pregnancy, especially at her age.
"Oh.", the elderly said, sounding almost judgmental. She looked back at Lana's file to check the age that was written on it at the top. "With 'how everything is going to work', you mean abortion, right?", She reassured, making Lana's eyes pop up.
"What? No. No no no. That was a misunderstanding. I meant like… how the whole pregnancy stuff works… the risks and so on. I mean I read some on the internet but Google is not a doctor, you know?", She chuckled slightly to lift the mood but the Grey-haired woman in front of her didn't seem too impressed.
"Listen, sweetheart.", she said, putting her glasses on her head again before looking Lana deeply into her eyes. "I don't think a pregnancy at your age is what you want. There are tons of risks. For you and that child. In addition to the high possibility for any disability.", she began.
"I know… I… I read about it but… I am OK. I can provide a good life even if it would need some more attention. I… I really want this child. That was my dream. For years", Lana explained almost desperately.
"So you put your needs over the needs of your child?", She asked.
"Wha–No! I… I don't –"
"To make your wish come true, you would risk your kid to live a life full of doctor visits and pain? You don't understand, Ms. Parrilla. You might be able to live with the disabled child but you're not the one who will suffer.", she said, almost sounding calm whilst doing so.
"That's not what I am going for. Of course, I hope that my child is healthy but in case of a disability I will not love it any less!", Lana defended herself.
"We all know it's now meant to be by mother nature. All my respect but you're 45 years old. You will be 60 when that kid would be only 15. What do you think you will do then? You won't be as fit anymore, but your child still needs you? I–"
"Enough! Clearly it is meant to be because I am already pregnant.", Lana almost yelled. "I had enough.", she repeated more calmly, leaving the room as quickly as possible to go back to her car. It was the first time that she stood up for this child, after burying herself in the possibility of losing it again. The ride back home was silent. Her body tried to process whatever just happened, but her mind stopped functioning when thinking about how ignorant a person can be.
She thought that a doctor visit would finally help her to erase her fears and anxiety, but exactly the opposite was the case. Her body was shaking when she returned home, closing the front door loudly.
"Hey.", Sean said from the living room, but didn't even have any chance to start a conversation since Lana ran straight past him, locking herself in the bedroom.
*****
"Mama…", Amélie cried, trying to climb up the stairs.
"I know. I know you want Mama…", Sean sighed. It was already the evening and Lana hadn't come out nor talked to Sean at all. All she did was lie in bed, staring at the white ceiling.
"Want Mummy.", Amélie repeated for the 100th time today, making Sean finally give up.
"Alright. Try. But I don't know if she will open the door.", he said, carrying her upstairs and placing her in front of the bedroom door. "There you go. You need to knock.", he said.
"Ma!", Amé yelled, walking up to the wooden door to slam her little hands against it. "Mama!".
Lana sighed when she heard the voice of her daughter. She knew it wasn't right to just disappear into their bedroom for the whole day but she needed space. Space and time for herself to think through the next steps and to calm down from everything that cruel woman had to say. Or was it cruel? Was it wrong what she said? Or was she right?
"Mama? OWan build snowmaaan?", Amélie sang since she thought Lana was playing Frozen with her, which managed to put a smile on the woman's face.
Lana stood up, walking almost numb to the door, before opening it for her daughter, who was more than delighted to finally see her.
"Mummy!", she yelled, jumping up and down, reaching for her. Lana picked her up immediately, pressing the little girl to her body to show her how much she loved her little angel.
Sean in the meantime looked at her in shock. Dark bags under Lana's eyes told him straight away how miserable she was. She had that certain look on her face when she wasn't all good and happy as usual. You could tell.
Her hair was all frizzy, like she had spent all day in bed, she had her most comfortable clothes on, removed all the makeup she wore this morning and even wore her glasses for a change since she was probably reading. Other than that her body almost seemed lifeless, just surviving but not living.
"Mama bed?", Amé asked sweetly, making Lana nod slightly.
"Yeah… I can bring you to bed tonight.", she said, already going to her room without even looking Sean in his eyes since she knew what she would see in them. Worry… maybe even disappointed…but she wasn't ready to share her thoughts. Not yet.
She put Amélie to bed, whilst Sean was doing the same with the boys even though his mind was complete with Lana at the moment. When he finished, his girlfriend was still with Amélie since the girl didn't want to let go of her, so Sean placed himself in front of his daughter's door, not giving Lana the chance to escape from him this easily that time.
Unfortunately, the doorbell rang unexpectedly, making him sigh because first of all the kids were asleep and second he didn't want to miss his girlfriend, but when a knock appeared at the door as well, he walked downstairs, nearly in rage when he swung the door open.
"Where is she?", a slightly familiar face asked with a small suitcase, standing at his door.
"Ehm… sorry… what?", Sean asked. "Wait… Do I know you?", he questioned unsurely.
"Well… just from Lana's birthday parties but we never spoke directly. No.", She said. "Bex called me… call me Trish.", she chuckled. "So where is our little problem?", She asked again.
"Ehm… she is–", he couldn't finish since he heard the bedroom door lock again, making him sigh. "She just locked herself again. I thought you would just call…", he confessed.
"Yeah… Well… that did sound like a call wouldn't fix her and I can't see her miserable.", she said.
"Neither do I… I wanted to give Lana her space but it's just… too much now. She locked herself all day and didn't come for dinner or lunch. Amélie managed to get her out but… seems like she is back in the bedroom. Please… come inside.", he said, taking her suitcase.
"Thank you.", she said. "It really doesn't sound like her. She was similarly worse after her divorce. But you two didn't separate, right?", She asked.
"No… nothing. She said it has nothing to do with me but if that's true… I don't know anymore.", he said. "Ehm… I need to go on a walk with Lola. Could you tell Lana that she's alone with you… just in case the kids need someone.", Sean said.
"Sure. So Ehm… sorry… which door is the bedroom?", Trish asked.
"Oh yeah. Sorry. I will bring you.", Sean said, showing her the way before actually leaving them since Lola was already wincing at the front door.
Trish was actually happy to get some time alone with her to properly discuss what really was going on, so she softly knocked at the bedroom door, so she wouldn't wake the kids.
"Lani banani, open up.", she added to her knock, waiting only a couple of seconds before the door opened, revealing a completely shocked Lana.
"What are you doing here?", She asked, wrapping her arms around her dearest friend she hasn't seen for over five months now.
"The better question is, what are you doing?? Why do I get a call from Bex, saying that you're locking yourself up? Huh?", She asked, pulling Lana inside, closing the door, so the kids wouldn't hear them.
"Look at you. What's going on, sweetheart?", Trish asked, completely understanding Sean's worrying by now.
"I…", Lana started but couldn't even form a sentence, breaking down in Trish's arms, who gently rocked her back and forth. She pulled Lana to the bed, holding her close until her body relaxed a little.
"Okay. Try again. What is going on?", She asked gently, petting over her friend's head.
"I'm pregnant.", Lana finally spitted out, not really even really thinking about it. Her mind was just overloaded and needed to be emptied, so her tongue was actually faster than her thoughts. Her words caused Trish's eyes to widen.
"Oh my God! For real?", She asked, waiting for a nod from her friend. "That's fantastic! Lana… that's… it's all you ever wished for, no? Why are you so upset about it??", She asked straight away, giving Lana a long-lasting hug.
"I am just scared about losing it…", she cried in Trish's arms. "I really wanna be happy but… I am so afraid… I can't even put it into words.", Lana admitted, starting to sob uncontrollably in addition to taking shorter breaths.
"Alright. Hey… hey… stop.", Trish said, trying to look at her. "Come here. Look at me, Lana. Look at me.", she repeated until she had her whole attention.
"Good. Now I want you to stop sobbing and breathe. Close your eyes. And breathe. You haven't had enough of that. I can tell. Come on. Let's sit on the floor.", Trish said, pulling Lana down with her.
She was leading Lana through a whole breathing/meditation session, which took them about 30 minutes. They just finished off with the last exercise when the front door unlocked, clearly audible throughout the quiet house.
"Okay.", Trish said, causing Lana to open her eyes as well. "Now I want you to go down to your man and tell him how much you love him before we'll go on a silent walk until you're ready to talk.", she suggested, making Lana smile slightly since the 'silent walk' was something she created when Trish got her cancer diagnosis. It was hard for her to talk about it, so Lana didn't push her. She walked until her friend was ready to open up, which always happened after a few minutes of walking quietly next to each other.
"Okay…", Lana simply answered, standing up from the floor. She quietly walked downstairs, barefoot since it was quite warm, even in Vancouver.
"Sean?", She questioned, making him swirl in her direction, quite surprised to see his girlfriend at all. "I… I am sorry.", she confessed, closing the distance between them to hug him as strongly as possible, already starting to tear up again. "I love you."
"Shh…it's okay. Please… don't cry. You cried a lot in the last couple of days and I don't wanna see you like that. I love you too, sweetie.", he added.
"It will get better. I promise. Just give me a little more time, please. I will explain to you", Lana sobbed, drying her tears. "I know I was an awful girlfriend… I am sorry."
"Pshhh. I only want you to get better, whatever it is, okay? You haven't eaten all day, Mh? That's not healthy. I don't want you to collapse again.", he said.
"No… I… that's not completely true. On my way to the doctor, I bought myself some rice with chicken. I had that for lunch actually… so I am good. Sorry for worrying you. I… just need space to breathe.", she said, looking thankfully over his shoulder to Trish.
"And now I am going to take her on a walk and after that, you two can cuddle all night if you please.", Trish chuckled, pulling Lana outside with her
They didn't walk long, actually just around the block when Lana started talking about what was on her mind.
"I went to the doctor today…", she said, making her friend look up in excitement.
"And?? How did it go?", She asked happily but could see straight away that the visit wasn't as pleasant. "Is something wrong with the baby?", She asked calmly.
"I… I don't know. I mean she didn't even look. My normal doctor was on holiday and… that woman… she… she just told me to get an abortion without even having a look first.", Lana cried out. "She said that I was being selfish carrying a child at my age she—"
"Stop.", Trish interrupted, turning Lana by her shoulder to look into her eyes. "Did that woman know you?"
"No…"
"Did she have a look at the baby?"
"No…"
"Did she have the right to say that?"
"No…"
"Then… since when are we listening to such people, huh?", Trish smiled slightly. "You're going to be a mom, Lana.", Trish said out loud, finally getting a small smile from her friend.
"I am already a mom….", Lana chuckled.
"You know what I mean!", Trish smirked. "All I am hearing from you are opinions from other people or fear that drives you crazy. Where is the happiness? Where is the excitement? How did you react when you found out?"
"I… cried… because of happiness.", Lana confessed.
"Yeah. That's what I thought. And now…get all those negative thoughts out of your head! Now!", She laughed.
"You're pregnant, sweetheart!! I am going to be an auntie again!", she grinned.
"I am pregnant…", Lana grinned.
"Yes you are!!", Trish laughed, placing her hand on Lana's stomach. "There is your baby.", she chuckled. "And we will find a doctor that will have a look at you tomorrow. I am coming with you.".
"Normally it takes a while to get an appointment, you know?", Lana laughed.
"Honestly. I don't wanna be that bitch but use your money for once and we'll have an appointment tomorrow.", Trish chuckled. "Let me take over. I will find a proper doctor for you.", she said.
"You can already think about how to tell Sean, whilst I am going to search for a doctor.", she said, pulling Lana down on a bench in a very small park, where literally nobody was around at that time.
"What do you mean?", Lana asked. "Can't I just tell him?"
Trish just looked at her like Lana said something completely out of her mind. "This is your first and probably only pregnancy announcement, Lana.", she calmly said.
"Aaaaaannndd?", her friend asked.
"You can't just tell him! Come on! I thought you would be more creative!", she laughed. "You invest more time to pick out Candy's birthday flowers.", Trish chuckled.
"Okay okay! Got it. I will think about it.", Lana smirked, leaning back at the bench whilst Trish started to phone one doctor after another at a totally inhuman time, which meant that most of them were either not answering at all or were pissed straight away but Trish wouldn't be Trish, if she couldn't handle this.
In the end, she managed to get an appointment for the next day, early afternoon, which made her more than thrilled. They walked back home, so they would be on top form in the morning.
It was the first time after almost a week, when Lana crawled in bed, right into Sean's arms to get her usual cuddles. Since Sean was already half asleep after the exhausting day with the kids, he just grinned peacefully, tightening his grip around her waist.
Both of them had missed the warmth and comfort from one another, so falling asleep today wasn't much of a challenge.
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A/N: hope you enjoyed that chapter 😁
Anyway. Question: Does anyone has Name ideas for Matthew's baby boy?