I raised my hand and wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead. I had chosen the worst possible day to install flooring in the apartment I was renovating.
Now, you're probably wondering, 'Ella, what the hell do you know about installing flooring?' Well the answer is a fair amount now. Considering this is my second time installing it in this very apartment, the first time I did it wrong and ended up having to rip it all up and start over. So, I would say I'm very experienced now.
You're next question is probably, 'Ella, why are you renovating an apartment?' Well, the answer is I tried to hire a contractor to do it and he gave me attitude, so now I'm doing a job that was supposed to take a crew of 6 men less than a month to complete. You might be able to guess that it's taking me much longer, about three months if you were wondering.
And you're final question may be, 'Ella, why are you sweating so bad?' And the answer to that is I broke the air conditioning unit in the process of ripping out the floor, the second time. To add to the situation, Brooklyn is in the middle of a record breaking heat wave, so it was hot in here.
Renovating the apartment wasn't totally awful, it did keep me busy while George was on tour. He got back less than a week ago and for the most part all he's been doing is sleeping. I can understand why though, he traveled all over the place for two months, performing in different countries every couple days.
It was easier to be apart from him this time. We talked often and I also didn't have the big unknown of what we were looming over me. I knew he was my boyfriend, and that he cared for me. So what if George was thousands of miles away, he was still mine.
I took a long drink from my water bottle, feeling the ice cold water pour down my throat before getting back to work.
Suddenly a loud banging on the front door drug my attention away from the work that needed to be done.
I groaned.
It better not be another noise complaint, cause if it is I will be pitching a fit. I have every right to make as much noise as I want between 8am and 5pm, after all I own this building.
I stomped over to the door, completely ready to chew someone out, only to fling the door open and find Judy on the other side of the door. She looked like she had just seen a ghost.
"Whoa, what's up?" I question.
She exhaled deeply, "I'm sorry Ella, I didn't know what to do," she was clearly shaken up by something, the only other time I'd seen her this worried was when I showed up asking to see Robert, two and a half years ago.
"Hey, hey- it's okay. Take a deep breath, whatever's wrong we can fix-"
She quickly interrupted me, "they're here Ella. I didn't know what to tell them and then he started raising his voice so I gave them your apartment number."
I could feel my face contort in confusion, "What are you talking about? Who's at my apartment?"
Judy pulled her thin bottom lip into her mouth and anxiously chewed on it, her face was filled with sorrow, and I just knew I wasn't gonna like her answer.
"Your family, Ella. I'm-"
I swear my heart stopped, my ears began ringing and my face suddenly felt boiling hot.
I didn't hear a single word Judy had to say after that, I didn't bother to ask what they wanted. I just left the apartment and began heading back to mine.
It felt like I was moving in slow motion. Even though I was trying to hurry, it seemed there were cement blocks chained to my feet and with every step closer I got, the heavier they became.
By the time I was ascending the last set of stairs to my floor, I could hear them.
Them talking to George.
"I don't know what to tell you, I have no idea where she is," the deep melodic voice of my boyfriend spoke up. My boyfriend. My sweet, loving, kind boyfriend was meeting my family at this very moment.
In that moment I was finally able to see them. Two men in slacks and a button down that was neatly tucked in. Both of them wore dress shoes, and the older one wore a pair of suspenders.
He was much thinner than the last time I had seen him, my father -the one in suspenders. He also now stood with a slouch, which was something I had never seen before. He always stood tall, he's 6'2", shoulders back and his head up, he always stood with pride, as if he even had anything to be proud of.
Beside him stood my brother, Jeb. At one point he was my little brother, but now he towered over me and my father both. He had grown out of his awkward lanky phase, he was now a handsome young man.
As soon as George caught a glimpse of me, his eyes widened, alerting my father and brother that I was behind them. The two turned around abruptly, and took a moment to study me.
I wore a ripped pair of jeans, not fashionably ripped I had accidentally torn them when I was planting flowers- don't ask how, a T-shirt I had cut the sleeves off of and a pair of ratty converse. I had no makeup on with my hair in two long Dutch braids, and I was still covered in sweat. They had never seen a woman in this state of disarray and it was obvious.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, and stood with my shoulders back to hide my terror. "What do you want?"
An uncomfortable silence surrounded us as my fathers eyes scanned me up and down, "I want my truck back, Eleanor. You stole it." His raspy, gravely, cigarette ruined voice eventually spit out.
I scrunched up my face, "It took you two and a half years for you to decide you want your truck back?"
His face turned in annoyance.
"And I didn't even steal it, you gave it to me when I went to school," I quickly added.
"You're no longer attending school, Eleanor." He raised his voice, and I resisted the urge to cower away from him. "The truck is no longer yours because you dropped out! You let down everyone in the community."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I don't see how my escape affected any other members of the community. I exhale, I need to collect myself, I just want them gone.
"So, all you want is the truck?" I didn't even wait for his response before I spoke again, "Fine. I'll go grab the keys and get my stuff out. Then it'll be all yours."
I shoved past the two large men, quickly entering my apartment and slamming the door, trapping George and I inside.
"El, I'm so sorry." George quickly wrapped his arms tightly around my sweaty self. "If I would've know it was them I never would've opened the door."
I gulped, feeling every inch of my mouth being so unbelievably dry, "Yeah, it's okay George."
I felt like I was floating, as if I was spectating my own life.
George unraveled himself from around me.
"I just need to go downstairs and take the stuff out of my truck, then they can leave and everything can go back to normal," I hummed as I started looking around the room for my keys.
Where are my keys?
"I'll go with you El," he stated.
I looked to him wide eyed, "no."
There was no way I was gonna let them taint George. What we had was so good, and thirty seconds with my father would scare him off forever.
God, where are my damn keys.
"Ella come on, we'll get them out of here quicker."
"George, no." I stated. "You need to stay away from them. I'll go down there, I'll take Brandi with me, I'll get all my shit out of the truck and then I'll come right back up. I just need to find my keys!" I whimpered shuffling around all my clutter in the kitchen.
George sighed and stepped over to the door, pulling my keys off of the hook that they always hung on.
Oh, right. That's where I always hung my keys.
I quickly grabbed Brandi's leash and hooked her up to it, she stood stiffly at my side.
With a deep breath I grabbed my keys from George's hand and gave him a quick peck on the lips, "I'll be right back. Come on B."
Brandi and I exited the apartment quickly shutting the door behind us and once again being faced with my father and little brother.
"It'll only take a minute to get my stuff out," I hummed as Brandi and I began leading the way downstairs.
"Was that you're husband?" My father's grotesque voice spoke up.
"No."
"You're living with a man that you're not married to?" He asked, voice filled with disgust.
"Yup."
He scoffed as we continued descending the stairs.
I wish I could say that I had no idea what he was thinking, but I knew.
I knew in his mind that he was calling me a whore and saying the classic 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free'.
I tried to focus on the bigger picture, all I had to do was get my stuff out of the truck and they would be gone forever and then everything would go back to normal.
"Well it's not like you can't afford your own apartment, Eleanor. The woman at the desk said you own this place."
He was being nosey. He was trying to find everything wrong with the way I live, so he could go home and live the rest of his life thinking that my life without him is terrible.
"Yeah, I could afford my own house if I wanted to, but I like where I am," I answered honestly.
Two more floors and we would be in the parking lot, almost there.
All he did was scoff.
"How are you Jeb? You've grown like two feet since I last saw you," I tried to laugh, but he only ignored me.
"You look different too, you really grew into your ears," I remarked.
Nothing.
"I bet you'll be getting married soon too. Do you have your eye on anyone special?"
"Leave him alone, Eleanor. He's not interested in talking to a traitor and a whore," my father spoke up.
We finally reached the parking lot and I lead them to the truck.
"Sit down Brandi," I commanded and she did so begrudgingly, still keeping a close eye on my father. I quickly opened the tailgate to the truck and pulled the bags of potting soil out of the bed and tossed them onto the sidewalk.
The two men stood to the side not helping.
Next I started moving the excess floor planks out of the bed, these were much heavier, and I was suddenly wishing George would have come down here with us.
"You should be happy I'm letting take all this stuff, Eleanor. It's in my truck so it should be mine." My father said snidely.
I grunted as I picked up another box of planks.
I carefully set them down and reached for another box, and as I did that I saw Jeb reach to help my, but my father quickly stopped him.
Two more boxes.
I lifted up another one just to carefully set it down on the sidewalk. I grabbed the fourth and final box, setting that one down down just as I had done every other one.
"Well I'll take my truck back now," my dad said loudly. I could tell he was getting irritated.
I sighed, "hold on I have stuff in the glove box too."
"I don't appreciate your attitude Eleanor. I've been more than patient with you today. You will not give me attitude," He spoke up again.
My back was to him as I was already rifling through the glove box collecting the last of my belongings, clutching them in my hand before turning around.
"If I were giving you attitude, you would know it," I answered picking up Brandi's leash as I could tell she was on edge.
"I should have just called the cops and had them arrest you for stealing," he raised his voice at me, but I didn't even flinch.
"Yeah, you absolutely should have, that way I could've gone the rest of my life without seeing you again."
"Well it's not too late, Eleanor. I can still call them and have them arrest you," he threatened.
I shrugged, "do it." I turned to my sweet younger brother, "Jeb, if anything ever happens you're welcome here."
"I told you not to talk to him!" My father yelled.
Brandi was now standing, bearing her teeth and growling lowly.
"I'll talk to him if I want to. He'll be turning Twenty in a month, he needs to know that if he or any of the others want to leave they can stay here. You can't control him forever," I stated sternly.
I saw it coming but I froze and just let it happen.
His open hand struck me hard on the cheek and I could feel the stinging sensation spreading over the affected area.
That was definitely going to bruise.
Before I could come back to my senses Brandi lunged at the man, biting the hand that he had just used to assault me.
By the time I reached to pull her off the damage had already been done. Blood was dripping down his hand and Brandi returned to my side.
My father looked at me stunned, "I'm calling the police and having her put down," he screamed, spit flying out of his mouth with every word he said.
"Call them and say what? I gave you your truck back then you assaulted me and my dog attacked you- because you assaulted me. You're upset that I got out and I'm thriving. I love my life and if my siblings want my help they've got it, no one deserves to be treated the way you treat them."
I turned on my heal and began leading Brandi back towards our building, as I was beginning to feel tears prickling in my eyes.
I got three steps up my first flight before I heard a meek voice whisper, "Eleanor."
I didn't even have to look up to know who it was.
It was my mother.
It was like looking into a mirror of what I would look like in the future. I had always been told that I look identical to my mother, which I always took as a compliment.
She was beautiful after all.
She had aged a lot in the last two years though, her forehead now had prominent wrinkles and she now had dark eye bags and a visible green bruise on her cheek.
"You're grandmother died, Eleanor."
I sighed.
"Robert died too."
She sighed.
And then I kept walking up the stairs and past her.
By the time I reached my apartment the adrenaline rush I had wore off. It felt as if someone had punched me in the chest and my throat was constricted so tight it was getting hard to breathe. My arms and legs felt like jelly and I couldn't force myself to continue walking.
I leaned my back against the wall beside the door and carelessly slid down until my butt hit the ground. I pulled my legs to my chest and guided Brandi closer to me, resting my head on hers as hot tears began streaming down my face.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Brandi," I whispered. "I'm sorry you had to do that, I'm so sorry."
I wrapped my arms around the sweet girl as I softly sobbed. All my emotions I successfully held in for the last 30 minutes began flowing out.
The door to my apartment opened after a few minutes and I heard George sigh in relief, "oh my god, there you are Ella."
He stooped down and I felt his warm hand slide over my braided hair which made me sob harder.
"I'm sorry, El." He whispered, gently reaching under my chin and guiding me to look into his dark eyes. I could tell that he noticed the large red hand print on my face because his eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. "Let's go inside and put some ice on that."
I nodded my head gently as all the crying was already giving me a pounding headache. He quickly stood and held out his hands for me which I graciously took, pulling myself up to my feet and ushering Brandi inside the safety of our apartment.
I took a seat on the counter top and watched George rifle through my freezer for something to use on my swollen face.
He settled on a bag of frozen mixed berries that I once planned to make smoothies with, "hold that to your cheek El," he said barely above a whisper.
I watched him shuffle around the kitchen gathering a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water.
He handed me two tiny orange pills and I took them.
Then he handed me the glass of water which I drank most of.
Then he wrapped his arms around my torso tightly, pulling me in extra close. I pulled the frozen berries from my face and reciprocated the hug resting my chin on his shoulder.
I felt like I could breathe again. After feeling like I was floating for so long I was finally being pulled back down to earth and my feet were once again securely on the ground.
I squeezed him tightly.
After a few moments wrapped up securely in his arms he pulled away and looked up at me, "your mom left something for you."
In all my panic I had never even stopped to wonder why my mom was coming down the stairs in the first place.
"What was it?" I asked, my voice incredibly horse.
George reached into his pocket and pulled out a wrinkled white envelope.
On the envelope was written My Sweet Ella followed by my address. There was no return address but I recognized the handwriting to be my Grandmother's.
I ripped open the envelope and found a written letter and the gold and brown leather watch that my grandmother once wore everyday.
Ella,
I hope you've found all the good that you deserve. I love you.
No signature but I knew it was her, after all she was the only one there to ever call me Ella.
Her watch had a baby blue face with tiny yellow flowers here and there. I remember always wanting it when I was little, so much so that I unsuccessfully stole it from her a few times when I was very young.
I sniffled and once again wrapped my arms securely around George, I took a deep breath, "I love you George."
"I love you too, Ella. Now, please put the frozen fruit back on your cheek. I worked really hard to find you the best ice pack I could."
I laughed and pulled back so I could look at him as I put my frozen berries back on my cheek.
George was such a beautiful person, he could always make me laugh and never failed to show me how kind, gentle and genuine he was.
I looked at him and giggled to myself.
"What's so funny?"
"Can we get married someday?"
George laughed, "are you proposing to me El?"
I couldn't help but grin, "no, not like officially, I wanna spend all my life with you, and I just wanna know that you're on the same page as me."
George grinned his typical boyish grin, "yeah- I mean yes. I would love to get married to you one day."
"Good," I sighed and nestled back into his shoulder before thinking for a moment. "Aw man, I guess I need to buy a new truck now."
George only laughed harder before kissing me on the forehead, "I love you."