I. Sweet Home (2020) dir. Lee Eung-bok II. Unknown III. Anne Carson IV. Lindsay C. Gibson V. Francisco de Zurbarán VI. / Le Loup VII. The Glory (2022) dir. Ahn Gil-ho VIII. Hieu Minh Nguyen IX. Richard Siken X. Clarice Lispector XI. Georgy Nikolsky XII. FirstFullMoon XIII. Margaret Atwood XIV. Mountain Goats
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It's the small cruelties that gets you.
Words that's being served pertinently on a silverware when you find particular things hard to stomach. It was another way of teaching you that grief could be served as another cruel education. It cradled an intense. Like a darling seeking an architect but always it ended in a self-perseveration. You see yourself grow up. You take notice of the ragged print in the sofa—the peeling shred of paint on the walls—the same testament that bears and deems the inner palm of your hands. You reach above fences, you noticed the specific order your father's work boots were in and how they seemed to disappear behind the family vesicle each morning. You remember the talks your mother had about fresh manicures, new dinner recipes while she stirred in a singular pot that was enough to have you roll over and rest in the living room with the ghost of the one that wished you hadn't taken that spoonful. The hammered cross above your head suddenly speaks to you
You mistake your own abilities for the knife given by your gravedigger.
A. It always starts with two people.
She gets home at around 06:23 PM. This was or—is basically is the place where she refuged to after gaining another complaint or fuss behind the register. It reminded her of curfews and the rot of another skewer platter. The teacups whisper in her behind loose cupboards when she angles her head a degree. She regrets and it's like a puff of warmth above her forehead. At some point you feel it proper and steady. And by then she realizes that the ones you allow close, are the ones who kill you. The eyes grow white, another dislocated teeth will be added to the collection, the town narrows down to a circle. You realize there is no corners for people to hide in anymore.
She walks free. They walk free.
Narrowing down basically also means you start to paint blood on your canvas. They called her a blasphemy. More or so, the entire blood-line pissed her off. She gets up from the floor. Purge and clean out your insides. Maybe she tried to make sense out of her after all. Should've done that when she still was alive but even so, Would she have been anywhere near as satisfied? She was basically at her feet, no reasoning were often made, but then there was the pleading while she just plugged at her wings from the the flesh. Cruel mothers.. stays close closer together as cruel mothers.
It was consistently around loud banging tv statics, sharp hangers, someone or at least a pair of eyes at the dining table to observe everything, between doors of an decaying closest, or in the bathroom wrapped in a shower curtain. That was the last room she checked. Her fists tightened on the countertop.
She treated her as a child. She was not a child. She treated her as a little girl. She was not a little girl. Then act like one. She felt bare and striped of her own innocence. Do not receive what you can't see yourself take in open hands. She swallowed her words sure—she begged, even better—she ran faster, it hurt even more—you know there is no such thing as room for any judgments. At least not when the dust was still grouping not even under your filthy carpet. At least when the cross above was close enough to keep an eye on her. ( You were not safe with anyone.. she made that clear, plenty. )
The memory still braids like the rope around your neck.
Funny enough. He thought he embraced those days of waiting too comfortably. At least until the maggots weren't crawling around carrying an entirely empty stomach. Much to his irritation.
Medicine did no wonders. Sorting them out was usually followed by impulse and distress. He did not want to turn out to be that kind of person that inherited from the slaughter. You were eleven when you witnessed it for fucks sake. Dormant. He was angry yet he wondered why the house was always burning. There was enough of that. After all every walls he saw around himself, there went his decency long gone before he even held the brain capacity to step one foot in front of the other. He couldn't bring himself to believe it. He was tired of cleaning up after himself. He was tired of seeing her crying by his feet, it didn't matter who's they belonged to. He was tired of seeing her dab around the same worn out blue rag, after he caught a cold. He was tired of pulling the covers over the both of them. The mattress was lonely yet, he couldn't bring himself to move her away.
Since when was her grip that gentle?
Has she ever held him this way? He thought. Probably not, he was young—always in the background while she was greying. So why did the angry man push the stool from beneath him? Why did he do it when she felt the most vulnerable? She felt vulnerable over/for you. She wanted to be good enough for you. She never did things for him like she did for the one beside her in family pictures, all she ever did was ask help and yet the space beside him was never empty. And then what? He comes and goes with another broken bottle. One day he doesn't but he throws his life in a sudden maelstrom and expects his son to not become like him?
Egoist. You were an egoist. You are the ghost that haunts empty houses. You are the the tip of every sharp object.
B. It always ends with two people.
Olivia Cooke 𖣂 Susan Cunningham
Song Kang 𖣂 Isaac Kang / ?? Leviathan
Toni Collette 𖣂 Michelle Cunningham (♱)
Victoria Pedretti 𖣂 Julie Cross / Cunningham
Grace Van Dien 𖣂 Chrissy Cunningham
Walker Scobell 𖣂 Leo Cunningham ?? (♱)
Song Hyekyo 𖣂 Tara Kang
Goon Yoo 𖣂 Jackson Kang (♱)
American Shorthair 𖣂 Simba
Mike Faist / Marcus Campell
Ayo Edebiri / Kafka "Iman" Spiers
Cailee Spaeny / Hollie Forest
Georgina Campbell / Frankie Ridloff
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Lee Dohyun / Ronan Pham
Go Younjung / Warren Pham
Diego Luna / Samuel Yearly
Taylor Russell / Janet Stepanov
Riz Ahmed / Kitay "Kit" Zardari
Annie Murphy / Elisa Blackwood
Mason Gooding / Vihan Rainside
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REST as DESCRIBED
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AUTHORS NOTES.
read carefully!!!!
༒ Phew! This revamp was rough 눈_눈 but needed to an certain extent. I threw the child's play out the window and made up for the loss because last time my brain was really racking and reaching for every corner possible. The stress took it's beloved time. But it's here! War is over! With a lot of new changes, additions and storytelling at that. You can also blame The Bear and the man, the miserable mess of a man himself Carmy Berzatto for beating the unhealthy and immature family dynamics unto my head, like are you kidding...
༒ Can't really say much about these two other than they're mirrored in a lot of aspects. Different backgrounds, different religions, different rules but immature parents and families stays the same no matter. Your life is basically set on a very high pedestal and suddenly everyone, they well expects too much from you. Susan experienced the loss of her parents who was very toxic in her early teenage years. Safe to say she carried her grief in two ways afterwards. I rewrote Isaac as an very personal and dear character to me, won't really dive unto but it's there. Loud, clear. Well we both also grief from a long period over coming from an asian household, that holds more of the negative beliefs than of the positive. It does get a bit exhausting. Not a big change from his previous self but there was definitely some new ideas sparking when I slowly allowed them to a win on my part. Character studying will take it's place, you best believe!!!! Even at this rate, there is not really any plans made where Susan and Isaac meet. It ties together. Plus when they do, there will always be this one rational fear which where they're scared of each other but in reality, they're actually scared losing of each other. Aka the romance is there but it's at the same time, not really? Take it however you can stomach it!
༒ At the end... they are both or honestly just all of them very damaged people who confides comfort in different and not necessarily the best things there is. Prestigious families and the ability to live on forward as if you weren't the main prey to the carnivore, no one really copes from that. This, of all this, equals to the other so. Do not expect a lot from them whenever it's for the good or bad. At last look around you, look at the universe we're in and look carefully. Nobody is batting around the bush or sitting in pastel colors while listening to Kate Bush under beaming meadows, no they are fearing for their lives everyday, stuff always has to happen and for the most part it also sadly ends with being spread like an equally massive wildfire for sure chaos filled. So let me also just, shorten this down to a straightforward point: Nobody following is perfect. They are angry. They are trying to cope, even or so in unhealthy ways. They will do shitty stuff that will cause an itch or two. Just look around you!!! It's also bound to happen at some point that horrible character development will take place. It sucks, I don't like it either but that also downcasts the very dark undertone to some characters who unfortunately rarely comes upfront with change that either benefits them or their surroundings.
༒ I will go unto full details for this one and it will contain a lot of sensitive topics that gradually intensifies the more we weave through it, some of it which more or so won't be suitable for every/all audience. Such as religious trauma, seizures, researched but serious diagnoses which can both expand from a personality disorder, to narcissism, to sociopathy, drugs and other potential harmful antidotes or substances but honestly!!!! not only that but we will also be pillaging down the darker sides of Stranger Things, so more importantly of what wasn't shown with full intentions, at the end the Duffer Brothers likes to tug and pull at the string more than they can provide. So at the end this is me also saying that you looking after yourself should be your number one priority. It's the least you can do, not only just for me but for yourself as well. I will be sure to keep out an third eye and add content warnings if needed. There will be a very long catalog for potential triggers so feel free to indulge with your head and just take slow but mindful steps. Be well aware that I am not responsible for any of your media consumption, this is me setting a boundary but if you do continue to read on, well that is where your very own independence stands.
༒ As a person of color myself and seeing both the POC characters getting stereotyped and viewed/written poorly by both the writers and fanbase is something I will never condone ever. Especially Lucas and Erica who's both underrated in their own godamm show as one of the main protagonists, who's problems also happens to get pushed unto the rug every time and never brought up again unless it redeems someone else good. It's very often a white savior moment. Overlooked trauma that never gets talked about but when it does it's a metaphor, facing unrealistic critiques from both ends that at this point can sadly only be taken one way, some of you are not even afraid to hide it. As one of the only POCS in the show, in no way will I ever tolerate them being treated this way. It's upsetting. So you best believe changes will be happening. You will never hear the end of it!!!
༒ October 2023 update: As you all might have noticed about the ongoing genocide that is happening in Palestine right now—as we're speaking—so many people has come forward and shown their colors, most of them with cruel intentions while the rest is being completely tone deaf, so to speak. Me writing for this fandom, in anyway means that I DO NOT support the majority of the cast or the directors whatsoever and I better not me seeing any of you doing so as well. While i've also come to the decision, that I will only be covering the fourth season (but not really) due to very clear circumstances, since I won't in any shape of way be spending my time supporting a show who's cast supports a massive genocide which has taken the life thousands of innocent children, women and men who is by the way still fighting for their lives while doing anything in their power to proof that they are. We've also lost journalists, heroes, who everyday was and is still trying to fight for their life, documenting, taking pictures , filming videos, anything so the rest of the world will open their eyes up more and listen to what they have to say. It's heartbreaking. A reminder to make sure to boycott the next and final season of this show! Palenstine will be free. From the river to the sea. So while we're at it, educate yourself on what is happening right now, it doesn't take a lot. Donate, share the word or resources and make sure to boycott brands that in any form of way funds or supports Is*ael. An ethnic cleansing and genocide is happening right here, right now. You have a voice. Use it. They need our help, they need to be heard and be free.
༒ Susan and Chrissy's relationship/sisterhood is kinda very inspired by Katniss and Primrose's from THE HUNGER GAMES — which is both perceived throughout the film series but also throughout the books. Both experienced the younger sister loss while carrying the harsh weight of the post traumatic eldest daughter disorder, it makes sense.
༒ CONTENT WARNINGS: canon-typical violence; gore blood, character death & survivors guilt, adult language, heavy descriptions of religious ecstasy; religious trauma, visions; flashbacks, PTSD; mental illness/mental health issues, narcissism; sociopathic behavior, panic & anxiety attacks, racism & colourism, homophobia & xenophobia, body-shaming; topics/talks about body image, allusions to starvation & malnutrition, past domestic child violence & abuse; substance abuse, weed/drug use, medication, child neglect; family issues; messy/immature family dynamics; poor character development, abandonment/attachment issues, guns; other weaponry. To be intended.
༒ ALL WORKS © DOWAGERS 2022. Please do NOT modify, repost, plagiarize/copy my work or post it to other sites. This plot and the Original Characters belongs to me only unless stated otherwise — Translations requires the permission from the author.
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FIRST PUBLISHED: June 6th 2022
REPUBLISHED: June 13th 2023
COMPLETED: ???
© DOWAGERS