When life collides with death, there will be utter silence; and that will be where the most peace is found.
-W.W
The door creaked to a slow stop as I slid my way through the gap with the grocery bags at my side. I stepped in, pushing the door closed with my foot as I peeked around the empty living room, expecting at least someone other than the T.V to be making noise. I slowly started my walk further into the house as I slithered through the beer bottles that littered the ground and the smoke of cigarettes that were clouds in the corners of the room seeping in. The stairs creaked as I climbed down towards the basement door where our rooms were. Grabbing the handle I twisted and pushed it open to get a glimpse of a small girl with curly brown hair and big crystal ocean blue eyes crying in the corner of the twin mattress. I quickly dropped the Walmart bags and rushed to her side. Her once bright pink school dress was now torn in different areas, exposing her once tan arms now filled with different types of yellow splotches that were not fully bruised yet.
Michael cradled her as she wept in his lap, the adrenaline in his veins pumped with force as my brain pieced together the information I had discovered in under the seconds. 'Andy' I signed 'Where?' Belle looked at me but she just kept whaling until I grabbed her by her shoulders and put her down on the bed and began to run up the stairs again. but this time, further up the stairs to the upstairs lounge. I looked around the area in panic, knowing the peace that was settled in the house was the answer to the silence. One door was slightly ajar with the bathroom light gleaming in the crack. Before I could peak in, the click of the light shutting off and the door creaking open startled me.
A boy with piercing blue eyes and short, puffy brown hair walked out. His clothes hung off of him like he was homeless with taped sneakers and a large discolored splotch of skin turning purple under his eye.
"Mike?" Andy startled out as he grabbed his chest in panic. "What are you doing?" Andy muttered as he looked at me with an almost daze look. I leaned my weight to one foot as I placed my hand on my hip, looking at Andy with anger. "What?" He asked as if he was unsure of why I was looking at him like that. "Oh." His face turned from a look of fake stupidity to a fake understanding. "My black eye, is that it?" Andy questioned as he walked passed me, heading down the stairs as he spoke. "I got into a fight at school and stuff. I won if you wanted to know." I followed him as spoke, staring at his back so he would know that I was right behind him. "Dad is at the store, by the way, I asked him if he could get milk, but he said no. So I hope you got some." Andy laughed to himself as he skipped the kitchen and went straight to the basement.
I didn't wait until he entered the room, instead, I grabbed him right as he was about to walk in. My 14-year-old brother looked scared as I turned him around, making him face me as I pushed him into the large hall closet that held canned food and our small amount of clothes. He knew I caught him, besides him being a lair and Anna snitching, He couldn't hide much from me. Times like these I hoped would never happen, but they did. Whether I liked it or not. My baby brother was no longer a baby. What he was now was a target.
They were good at staying out of trouble for the most part, unless Andy was stealing food with me. I always hoped I could keep him out of what I do to get food, but it's not easy doing it alone. Now that he's older, he understands this, and he helps.
I grabbed his warm blue jacket I violently pulled on it as Andy struggled away from me, trying to make me stop as he pushed me. "Stop, Mike." He muttered as he fought back. "Please?" I paused as I looked into his pleading eyes, aware that my grip was still firmly on his jacket sleeves. Andy sighed as he lightly pushed away before pulling the jacket off himself.
He slowly pulled down the sleeves of the jacket, exposing his arms that were bruised with fingerprints mark that was turning a dark purple with a light tint of yellow. Guilt rose in my chest, swallowing my soul as I stared at his arm before he quickly covered it up and smiled as he grabbed my wrist.
"You can't always be here to protect us." He muttered into my ear as he hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around my brother, trying to suppress the thick wave of sadness that expanded in my chest as tears started to gloss my eyes. I nodded stiffly as I stared deeper into the closet in a daze, not being able to escape the feeling of guilt and regret for not coming home early.
I needed money, I needed more than what I was getting. Even with the two jobs at the store and restaurant, the money went to bills and food. What was left went to buying textbooks and going to school events.
I can't handle it anymore, not mentally or physically. Most days, I can't feel my body as I force myself to work without sleep, skip meals, study at night, and help Andy and Anna with anything they need throughout the day. Even then, all of us must avoid dad when he is in one of his moods. All this time I was worried about myself, but now I realize Andy has been scooping more onto his plate than I realize. It makes me sick to my stomach that I have been thinking selfishly as my brother took the heavy blow.
"Mike, you with me?" Andy's voice echoed in my head as my ears rang like Sunday's bells before service.
I pulled away from the embrace as I looked into his dull brown eyes that hid behind his curly hair. His gaze held a concerned yet understanding look as gave me a slight smile before squeezing my hand that he never let go.
"Let's go." He smiled once more as he grabbed my arm before leading me out of the dark closet, dragging me into our room where a sleeping Annabella lay in bed, tear streaks still glistening as she sucked on her thumb.
"We need to make her stop that." Muttered Andy as he let go of my hand, grabbing the blanket from under Anna's feet and pulling it over her. "I can sleep on the floor tonight if you would like." I shook my head as Andy turned towards me, looking away from the twin mattress that Anna played on it. I shook my head as I crutched down, pulling out the extra pillow and blanket from the side of the bed. I then made my way towards the small lamp, looking back to see Andy was climbing in with Annabella as he pulled the blanket further up above his shoulders.
I tossed the pillow and blanket next to Andy's side before shutting off the lamp and slowly making my way next to the mattress. Right when I was about to lay down on the ground, I heard a door open from upstairs as it slammed shut.
I looked at Andy as he sat up with speed, ready to jump out of bed within seconds. "Did you hear that?" Andy whispered as he leaned closer to me. I let the blanket drop from my hand as I waited for a couple of seconds, hoping to not hear anything else. I slowly stood up and grabbed my brown, worn-out hoodie. Looked back at Andy I shook my head, pointing at him and then the ground so he wouldn't leave. Andy nodded as he relaxed, watching me as I slowly unlocked the door. I pulled it open before slipping out into the small hall before I began making my way up the basement stairs. I opened the basement door that opened into the kitchen, peaking out into the darkroom as I looked around.
"What do you think you doin' boy?? A thick, hoarse voice spoke from my side as a large hand grabbed my shirt collar. As if a spider crawled up my neck, goosebumps littered my skin as I slowly looked up to see the face of the man I called father. "Do I need-need to repeat myself, stupid?!" He slurred as he stumbled forward, dragging me towards him. I pulled away towards the worn-out couches and broken tv as his grip tightened. Fear started to paralyze me as he got closer with his vodka bottle half empty, still dangling to his side. I couldn't think, I couldn't move, I couldn't escape. All I could do was grip his wrist and hope to escape. Dad scoffed before jerking me towards him and raising the bottle over my head. My eyes widen as my grip tightens while I watch the bottle slowly go toward me. The vodka bottle meet my head as my body crumbled to the ground. There was a pause in the world, everything was black. When I opened my eyes, I was on the ground in a fetal position. Dad was nowhere to be seen. I didn't feel like I was in pain, nothing hurt. But as I tried to prop myself up, my head began to throb and my vision began to swim. I laid back down on the ground as I moaned in pain, trying to rub the intense pain away.
"Mike?!" The voice echoed through the small house as the world spun, black dots danced in front of me as I pressed my hand to my head. "Michael-......Ok?.......Stairs......Mike.........Go back" Pieces of a conversation rang in my ears as I was dragged up, where up? How up? I didn't know I just felt like I was being levitated but with cold arms randomly shaking me.
Sleep I didn't get might be taking its revenge. Food I hid instead of eating taking its toll? I didn't know, but it didn't hurt. It felt quite good. That was the scariest thing, I wanted it, and my body wasn't fighting the now huge black puddles that were filling my vision while numbness spread like water over the rest of my body. All I could do was smile, smile and take it all in without a fight. Letting the silence fill with peace, not caring what it meant.