tw // mention of death.
august 28th, 2018.
seoul, south korea.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
there's already so much on his mind as of the moment, this guy... taehyung, isn't helping the most. his eyes flick down to read jungkook's text instead, a sigh escaping his lips — three days to jungkook's birthday and he's already feeling gloomy about all of this.
he hasn't even thought of a gift to give to jungkook — this is going to be hard.
there's another ping heard, causing namjoon to look down on his phone, scanning the screen. another message from taehyung. he opens the chat to read the text, jaw softly jutted to the side — what does the kid want to do with namjoon, anyway?
⠀⠀⠀ unknown.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| hi ! it's me, taehyung :3
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i'm sorry if im bothering you tho..
⠀⠀⠀⠀| but you're so cool— sorry for gawking at
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you earlier hdjd
and.. namjoon isn't sure how to respond to that — this is indeed the first time someone has deemed him to be 'cool', well besides jungkook, of course. so his thumbs just freeze in place as he thinks of something to reply with but his brain is absolutely mush with too many thoughts.
⠀⠀⠀namjoon.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| oh hey.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i'm assuming you're one of kook's friends?
⠀⠀⠀⠀| and uh, im not sure why you find me cool?
he decides to drop the conversation there for the while, also because kyungmin had come back into the room after leaving for a while, a grim look on his face — it made namjoon assume the worst, his face slowly mimicking the same expression the other detective adorned.
jisung was indeed dead.
minho is absolutely crazy.
and this was definitely wild enough to make namjoon feel.. defeated. yeah, though he has obviously found the culprit, it doesn't change the fact that maybe he could've caught onto minho's lies quicker, could've had come across jisung.. alive.
"they found him dead." kyungmin mumbled, a folder in his hands as he splayed it onto namjoon's work desk, pictures scattered over and — oh. the tall male just shuts his eyes close, does not have it in him to look at them.
"close that fucking file, god." he would grit his teeth together, walking away to take a moment away from this. the day after that.. passes by in a blur for him. constant headaches, the urge to just sit in a corner, blurred vision — have you seen those ghost blur filters? yeah, people seem to move just like that for him.
it's been six hours but namjoon has barely caught a grip onto reality.
the case file lays uncompleted, his coffee, that he ordered an hour ago stays untouched, his throat feels heavy. it's just a hard pill to swallow, isn't it?
"joon-ah.." kyungmin mumbled from the entrance to namjoon's cabin, sighing as he scanned the male's face — it makes him worried, so he offers namjoon to leave for now, it was close to the day ending, everybody was slowly packing up anyway.
and ah, great. it's raining.
he doesn't bother to cover his head unlike most days, just.. let's his coat drench up in water as he walks to his car, discards the coat to the side and takes a seat — everything that could go wrong has went wrong today, the rain making his mood gloomier isn't helping either.
namjoon decides to check his phone one last time before he could drive, his eyes landing on the tons of texts in his phone — some from kook, some from his coworkers and.. some from taehyung. he lets a sigh out, just deciding to read the texts, maybe just skim through them? yeah.
⠀⠀⠀unknown.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| yeah ! me and kook share a lot of
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀same classes ! ^^
⠀⠀⠀⠀| and PLEASE-
⠀⠀⠀⠀| you're like the coolest person ever??
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i literally started studying criminal
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀journalism because of you !
⠀⠀⠀⠀| oh my god, am i spamming-
⠀⠀⠀⠀| im so sorry ;-;
it made namjoon smile, the way taehyung texts, small emoticons here and there. he leans back into his seat, eventually deciding to type a response — thumbs slowly typing a response in because he particularly wasn't sure what to write.
⠀⠀⠀namjoon.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| is that so? that's.. sweet of you to say.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i've never had the chance to come across
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀someone who probably keeps me that
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀high, on a pedestal.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| now i kind of feel bad for our interaction
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀being so short lived, haha.
there's a soft breath leaving his lips — he turns his phone back off, letting it rest on the passenger seat as he reaches for his keys — he let's the radio take over again, like always, tunes he probably hasn't heard before, but it's better than nothing isn't it?
silence just.. makes namjoon overthink.
his head softly sways to the rhythm, the occasional car honks just make him tsk, taking a soft turn eventually to ride his car back down into the lane that lead to his house, parking the car outside.
his phone lights up again, he doesn't even give it a second glance at this point — just grabs the phone and unlocks it, eyes skimming over the text.
⠀⠀⠀unknown.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i feel sad too :(
⠀⠀⠀⠀| but it's all okay !
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i hope I'll see you at jungkook's party?
that made namjoon frown — jungkook.. was organising a party? namjoon does not recall anything of the sort.
was.. jungkook hiding things from him again?
it made him sigh, eyes staring down at the screen intently. it's as if.. jimin has made jungkook forget about namjoon entirely — he hates the thought of that, hates the thought of jungkook placing someone else above namjoon, when the elder prioritizes kook over.. anyone and everyone.
he let's out a frustrated noise — the loud thunder outside makes him more restless; he should head inside soon, it's going to rain harder, he assumes. but his thumbs work faster than his legs, typing a response while his jaw juts to the side.
⠀⠀⠀namjoon.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| what party are we talking about here?
⠀⠀⠀⠀| had a hard day at work, my brain isn't
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀really complying with me, haha.
he closes his eyes and let's out another sigh — decides he'd rather continue being sad in the comfort of his room instead of the confined space of his car.
it barely takes namjoon a minute or so to park his car in their backyard, covering his briefcase with his coat as he hurried up to the door, ringing the bell; his phone buzzes yet again, and as curious he is to read the text he wants to wait till he plops down onto his bed.
in any other case, jungkook opening the door for him, looking this cozy and pretty would've made namjoon happy, but he's had enough to go through today — everybody has their limits.
no words were exchanged, per say.. just uncertain glances that made namjoon.. rather sad. he wants to move past this, but a part of him makes him realise he probably has lost jungkook at this point — there's no reason to keep trying, is there?
the younger male is hesitant, of course he is, with all that has unfolded in the past few days — he's cautious with his steps, softly tiptoeing behind namjoon to gently wrap his arms around him, resting his forehead against his broad back.
"i'm sorry hyung.." he gently whispers; they're both stood still in their positions, the elder a little uncertain as to how to respond to a situation like this. being the bigger person comes to him naturally — he can't blame jungkook for living a normal life just because he doesn't love namjoon back.
it isn't jungkook's fault.
none of this is.
he takes this as a chance to read the text taehyung sent a few moments prior, softly frowning at the screen.
⠀⠀⠀unknown.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| you're always working so hard :( !!
⠀⠀⠀⠀| im talking about kook's birthday party !
⠀⠀⠀⠀| the one jimin organised?
⠀⠀⠀⠀| the entire college would be there^^
⠀⠀⠀⠀| and some of kook's other friends too !
⠀⠀⠀⠀| you'd come, right? please :(
oh. oh wow.
"a birthday party?" namjoon reads out aloud, turning his phone off when he feels jungkook go stiff behind him, gently turning around to glance at the younger male, tipping his head to the side.
and he knows from jungkook's almost defensive stance that he is going to apologize — which he does; namjoon knows jungkook all too well.
"leave it be.." namjoon mumbles, sighing as he looks away. "you could've just.. let me know, yeah?" the elder of them two adds, frowning softly. "i would've been mad, yes — but momentarily. i would've moved on.. but you keep lying to me, jungkook — is.. is this what we're doing?"
and jungkook looks like he's a small puppy that's been kicked, eyes all round and apologetic as he looks up at the elder. "hyung, listen to me, please.." he would rather whisper, chin lightly wobbling.
and namjoon thinks jungkook knows how exactly to win namjoon back because it works; he hates seeing the younger male like this — sad, vulnerable, pitiful.
he absolutely hates it.
"you know i would've spent my birthday with you, hyung i always have.." jungkook whispers, fidgeting in his own place as he plays with his sleeves.
"it's just.. he thinks we're too close — he doesn't like it.." it's more of a scared whisper than bold words, just making namjoon frown deeper as he tried to decipher what the younger male meant.
"he?"
"jimin.." jungkook would supply, shifting from one feet to the other; the younger male is anxious, that's evident. undoubtedly. he isn't sure how namjoon would react to all this - isn't sure of how the elder got to know about the party anyway.
namjoon on the other hand just juts his jaw to the side, looking away for a moment; he's never fought with jungkook.. not like this. he feels something bubble up in his chest, just wants to shout, if he's being honest. but all he does is sighing instead, looking back at jungkook.
"fine, i'll stay away from you if that makes that boyfriend of yours happy." namjoon's tone is harsh, harsh enough to make the younger flinch, immediately shaking his head as he approached the elder male. but namjoon is stubborn, he's angry, and he feels cheated on, feels lied to - not a good combination, if you ask me.
namjoon ends the conversation before it starts, turning on his heel and walking upstairs as he slammed the door behind him, throwing himself on the bed.
a great way to end a shitty day, anyway.
his eyes are trained on the ceiling as he ignores jungkook's calls and texts, asking the elder to atleast come down and have dinner with him; but namjoon stays kaput, closing his eyes as he thinks of what just happened.
if it wasn't for taehyung blurting this out, he would've never know, right..?
and jimin.. oh jimin.
namjoon has never been the one to hate people so quick, but with jimin? he feels as if he'd gladly punch that man any given chance.
and he feels like he should. and he will. he gladly will.
but now that jungkook has turned out to be secretive, he feels as if his only source of information is.. taehyung? well, makes sense - taehyung was waiting with jimin in the morning, wasn't he? are they close? probably.
he sits up almost immediately, grabbing his phone from his jacket, quickly rummaging back to their texts, scanning the screen.
this is probably his only resort.
⠀⠀⠀namjoon.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| oh, god. i completely forgot about that.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i've been a little sick, lately.
⠀⠀⠀⠀| i don't think i could come there..
⠀⠀⠀⠀| but we could hang out on our own?
great, here goes nothing.