Tartaglia tightened his grip on himself. Ever since he had gotten out of the Abyss, her words had always haunted him.
Because she had been right. He might still be using Ajax's physical body, but the soul of an innocent boy had long been lost to the devouring depths. He had gotten to see his family.
But his family never saw Ajax ever again. Because Ajax had died in the Abyss.
Zhongli didn't need to be a god to tell that every single being in the room, immortal or not, was shaken to the very core by the Abyss Herald's words; most of all Tartaglia himself. The thought of losing oneself, giving in to the darkness... it had seemed like such an abstract concept, when Yae had first mentioned it.
Then, they saw the effects of the corruption firsthand, the immense strain on a young child's mind as he tried to hold himself together, to push forward, desperately trying his best to go home and see his family again.
Or perhaps, it was only because the boy had been so young, that he had managed to survive and adapt.
After all, adults were too rigid in their way of thinking. There was a saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks", and it was an accurate saying at that. Adults were too set in their habits, too stubborn, and when something as dark and as ancient as the Abyss started messing with their minds, they are completely unable to adapt, to comprehend what was going on, and they shatter like ice, like a brittle rock.
Maybe that was why Tartaglia had survived, and even managed to thrive in the Abyss, his young mind being much more susceptible to instantaneous changes, his child-like mentality being much more malleable than that of a fully grown human.
He was as fluid as the element he controlled, being able to adapt to any situation so quickly it would give anyone whiplash, even being able to adapt to somewhere as corrupted as the Abyss.
Zhongli was considering calling for a break, to give Tartaglia some time to calm down, but the Harbinger seemed to want to power through it for the time being, glancing over at the ex-god and shaking his head.
Very well, the ex-god would respect his friend's wishes... but if things got too bad... he wouldn't hesitate to take action.
Ajax followed behind the Abyss Herald as she trudged over some mountains, stepping over the cracks on the ground, as they made their way... somewhere. He had already killed most of the monsters in the area, save for the larger, more savage beasts, but neither he nor the Herald wanted to bother those creatures yet.
He wasn't weak by any means, not after all his lessons and training, but even his and the Herald's combined power were nothing compared to those monsters. Their claws were as huge as mountains, and they could swat them away like they were nothing but annoying fleas. One of the most ancient creatures in the Abyss, who could be considered manifestations of the Abyss by just how much of their essence consisted of pure, corrupted darkness.
"Oh... Archons..." Keqing gasped in fear. Liyue had managed to win against Osial and Beisht, but these creatures... they could probably stomp the entirety of Liyue Harbor flat with one foot.
Ningguang seemed to share her sentiments; with how prevalent the Abyss Order was being, it didn't seem too out of the question to think that they could somehow teleport these gigantic beasts onto the mainland. Even if they didn't have any control over the beasts, their sheer size and corrupted nature would no doubt through the entirety of Teyvat into chaos.
The young Snezhnaya could feel the energy radiating off these beasts; it felt so similar to the ground that he was currently walking over.
I will make it home.
The pain was something that Ajax would never get used to.
His memories were supposed to be his only comfort in this realm of nothingness, and yet, every time he tried to pull up a memory to keep his hopes up, to remember the kind, innocent boy as he slaughtered another vile beast, his entire body trembled.
His skin felt like it was on fire, his limbs felt cold and stiff, his head pounded like he had an entire avalanche dropped down on him, and his blood squirmed and wriggled uncomfortably in his veins, as if it had turned into insects that wanted nothing more than to burst out of his pathetic, weak human body.
There's no such thing as happiness down here.
Ajax had no choice but to push his once happy memories aside, if he didn't want to be a sitting duck for a mere Hilichurl Shooter to snipe him from half a mile away. His memories were hindering his ability to fight, were destroying his body from the inside out, were killing him before he killed himself.
Jean gaped like a goldfish, as she clutched her sister tightly, praying to Barbatos (yes she knew Venti was like... literally lounging on a couch with Xiao, Aether and Paimon), thankful that she hadn't been unfortunate enough to take a trip to the Abyss.
Barbara had always been a constant in her life, even after their parents' divorce, even if they never really grew up together, even if they were only able to really interact after the idol's fans got so intense that even kind, sweet Barbara had to ask the Knights to help her on occasion (which was mostly Kaeya chasing that damned Albert away, the Calvary Captain adored Barbara even if he was snarky as always, or even Rosaria or Diluc if either of them happened to be nearby. They would always relay the news of the situation to the Acting Grand Master, whereafter she would set some time aside to check on her little sister).
She loved her darling little sister, and part of the reason she worked so hard was to keep Mondstadt safe, to keep her sister safe, not needing to worry about the monsters lurking outside Mondstadt's walls; she was glad that Barbara had friends like Aether to convinced her that just because she was the deaconess of the Church of Favonius, didn't mean that she shouldn't be able to live her own life. Friends like Kaeya and Diluc and Rosaria who would protect her from the monsters that Jean couldn't handle.
She couldn't ever imagine a world where just thinking, where caring about Barbara would hurt her, would bring her so much pain that she had to throw aside her love just to function properly.
The Abyss Herald shot him an unreadable look, before settling down, "That's enough. We'll stop here."
Ajax let out a confused noise, but he was grateful for the break; his legs felt like the rotten sludge in the Abyssal River he had touched while trying to take a drink, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep standing up.
"Most creatures dare not traverse here. Not even my kind." She continued to look around warily, "A brief respite shall do."
The boy collapsed on the ground, breathing in the miasmic air heavily, resting his back against a boulder as he shuddered, clutching desperately at his arms. His nails were digging into his flesh, drawing pinpricks of blood, but Ajax couldn't bring himself to care; this wasn't pain inflicted by the Abyss, his was pain that he was inflicting on himself.
A different kind of pain, pain that grounded him, that allowed him to clear his head.
"Do not think. Do not remember. There is no semblance of reason or logic here." She stated, "Memories of a past life can only hurt you."
Ajax took in a pained, shaky breath, "Sounds like you have tons of experience in that department."
He had a feeling the Abyss Herald would be rolling her eyes at his snarky comment... if she even had eyes in the first place.
"Do not take matters like this lightly, child. You do not truly understand the gravity of your situation." She chastised, "I have had millennia to ponder over my circumstances, and I have spent centuries wondering why we have been dealt this hand. I have yet to come to a conclusive answer."
Ei hissed under her breath. She had absolutely no love for Khaenri'ans, not before the Cataclysm, and especially not after she lost her beloved sister Makoto, along with Saiguu and Chiyo.
"A flourishing civilization, built purely by humans. An underground realm, too dark for most natural fauna, and yet, even without the aid of the gods, we flourished; it was the pride of mankind, proof that humans were strong enough to thrive on our own. And yet... "
She sighed, placing some bones together in a neat pile, "I do wish for some vengeance against the Heavens who condemned us to this undeserved fate; all of us do. However, regardless of what has happened... I do not think it is fair for innocents to be caught up in these so-called "sins" of the others. Our Highness wishes for the revival of the homeland, but at the cost of so many others... perhaps, some things should be left as they are."
Ajax let out a confused noise, as the Abyss Herald tossed in some wood from a nearby dead tree, before setting her hand alight with green flames and lighting up their little campfire.
"Wait... isn't she a wielder of Hydro?" Ayaka asked, frowning in confusion, "How is she able to..."
"Hmm... interesting..." Ayato mused.
Ajax stared at the green flames, then at the Abyss Herald, then back towards the flames.
"How..."
"This?" The Abyss Herald flexed her armored fingers, "The Irminsul roots found here are far more ancient than their surface-world counterparts. They exude overwhelming elemental energy, and any being fully tainted by the darkness would have access to these elemental abilities. A blessing, and simultaneously, a curse."
She tossed more bones into the fire, "It's too late to turn back, boy. You've done well to last this long, but attempting to return is just a senseless journey with no end. You will spend the rest of your days chasing a meaningless dream of a life with no reward. Reminiscing about memories, about your former self will bring nothing but pain."
"I'm still me." Ajax weakly stated, as if even he wasn't convinced by his own words; as if he could already tell he was different, but he was just chalking the differences up due to having to adapt to a different, far more violent environment.
"Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't. The Abyss sees all, takes all, consumes all." She replied, "It's nestled deep into your heart, and it will continue to eat away at you until the end of your days. The only reason you haven't faltered just yet is because it has a far more abundant energy source in our Abyssal surroundings. Perhaps your Vision is also playing a part in it, protecting you for now. But once you leave..."
She didn't finish her statement.
Hu Tao wrapped her arms around Qiqi, and surprisingly, the zombie let her, without any complaints about Hu Tao's naturally high body temperature from being a Pyro user.
Maybe it's because she sensed just how dire the situation was, with how the room temperature seemed to have fallen by several degrees.
"How... horrible..." Amber covered her mouth, looking like she was just about to cry, as Eula attempted to comfort her.
She turned her attention back to Ajax, "Do you still wish to go back, knowing nothing awaits but a tragic, painful end?"
Ajax scowled, "I don't care. I will see my family again. I need to..."
The boy paused, and frowned, trying to stop himself from showing any weakness, and the ground rumbled.
The Herald stood up, looking around warily, "That's enough. We have stopped long enough."
"What's out there?" Diluc scowled, instinctively reaching for his claymore; anything that could scare a dangerous creature like an Abyss Herald was definitely something to be wary of.
"Ehe, I uh... don't think it's something you can handle, Master Diluc..." Venti offered, shuddering in his seat. He had faced the shadow dragon Durin alongside Dvalin, but the poor, gentle-hearted dragon seemed unaware of his actions and just wanted to befriend the Dragon of the East, not harboring any hatred towards either of his killers and only wished that they had met under better circumstances.
But Durin was an artificial creation, a pale imitation, and he was nothing compared to the true horrors that could be found in the depths Abyss.
The entire rumbled, stronger than before, and Ajax immediately shot to his feet despite the pain shooting throughout his entire body.
Survive first, deal with the pain later.
"Come on. I should have known the conduit from above would rouse them." The Abyss Herald urged, lunging forward as she cursed in an ancient, foreign tongue under her breath, and Ajax raced after her, easily leaping over cracks and crevices like a deer, somehow keeping pace with the abyssal creature. The ground kept shaking, making it hard to keep his footing, but the young Snezhnayan managed, somehow, having tripped over a rock only once but he caught himself in time.
"He's definitely been trained well." Albedo muttered under his breath, making hasty, messy notes of a realm he was unlikely to ever be able to visit.
The boy narrowly avoided being whacked in the face by a tree branch, as the ground rose up beneath him, faster than any naturally moving landmass, throwing him off balance and sending him up into the air, past a large, shiny, beady black gem that looked way too intelligent to just be a generic rock.
Ajax may have improved his skills, but if there was one thing Ajax could never change, it was that he was biologically a human; no matter how hard he trained, how agile, how fast he was, humans were never meant to fly, and he would always be restrained by a completely useless skillset when the entire ground was the enemy.
Sara winced; being a tengu, she was one of the fastest soldiers in the Tenryou Commission, despite her broken wings. But she had always lamented losing her ability to fly; either for reconnaissance purposes or having an aerial advantage in combat, she preferred having the option to take to the skies.
The Abyss Herald was floating in midair, and Ajax twisted his body, looking downwards and waiting for gravity to drag him back down so he gauge the timing of his roll to lessen the impact of his fall.
That was a mistake; faster than Ajax could react, the ground split open like the jaws of a beast.
Oh, that's because it was the jaws of a giant monster, the boy realized all too late, as he fell, unable to grab onto anything as he watched the Abyss Herald floating away, hovering above him with her Abyssal powers as she watched him plummet, unable to do anything lest she be swallowed alongside him.
Kazuha's eyes widened at the sight, as Xingqiu shrieked and clung onto Chongyun.
Tartaglia bit onto his lip, drawing blood, as he tried to forget the pain that clung to his very being, pain that never went away, no matter how much of Dottore's "medicine" he consumed (the safe ones, at the very least, the Tsaritsa had made it very clear that medicine made to reduce pain should NOT inflict more pain).
He stared at the gigantic eyes of the beast, black miasmic saliva dripping between its jagged teeth like corrupted waterfalls, chills running down his spine as the boy shot downwards, straight into a tunnel of darkness.
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A/N As usual, I appreciate comments and any ideas OwO