Lizzie finally watched MoM???
⚠️TW:⚠️ flashback, panic attack, a version of SH, yk, the usual
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Lizzie's pov:
I placed her in my lap, with a little difficulty due to her desperately trying to get away from me. "It's me hun, you're safe I promise", I continued talking to her.
Suddenly, it was like a switch flicked in her head. She stopped struggling and looked up at me, her blue eyes dark and bloodshot. "L-Lizzie?" she whispered hoarsely. "Yes, it's me honey, you're safe", I smiled. "I-I'm sorry", she choked out.
"It's not your fault. Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" I asked her. She shook her head. "I-I can't." "Yes you can. You're safe, it's just me and you, 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 honey. Look, breathe with me okay?"
With my guidance and accentuated slow breaths, she was able to get her breathing under control. I took her hands in mine, gently pulling them away from her hair. She struggled a bit, but I tried to be as gentle as possible, I knew that if I held her too tightly, she would panic again.
Her hands tried to find her hair again, but I kept them away. I didn't like when she pulled at her hair, she was hurting herself. "Try not to do that okay bubs, you'll hurt yourself and that beautiful hair of yours", I told her firmly, but still keeping my voice soft.
She stopped struggling and as soon as I knew she was getting enough oxygen and that she wasn't going to hurt herself, I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms protectively around her.
Her body was still racking with sobs, and I felt my shirt getting wet from her tears. But two things were different. She wasn't having a flashback anymore, she wasn't seeing him. I didn't know who he was, I just knew he had hurt her, and I hated him for it.
And, she wasn't trying to get away from me anymore. Quite the opposite actually. Her limbs were wrapped tightly around me, and her hands were clenched around the fabric of my shirt, almost like I was going to vanish into thin air.
Her head was nuzzled away in my chest, shutting herself out from the world. "You're okay bubs, you're safe", I kept whispering sweet reassurances into her ear as she calmed down. It took her a while, but I knew she had to let it all out.
The longer she cried, the more weight she put on me. Her sobs eventually died down, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She was exhausted. Having a panic attack was draining enough, not to mention the flashback.
"I-I'm sorry", she sniffled, trying to get herself together. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault", I told her. "Except it is, I hung up on you without permission and I made you come here." Her hands found her hair again, and she resumed her pulling.
"Honey, stop that please", I told her softly, not wanting to upset her more. I gently pulled her hands away. "Noo..." she whined, tears threatening to escape once again. She was getting tired and more sensitive and emotional.
"You're hurting yourself", I told her. "I deserve it, I was bad", she mumbled. "You weren't bad. Yes, hanging up maybe wasn't the best idea, I could have helped you, but it wasn't your fault at all, I pushed you too much", I told her.
"You don't deserve to be hurt, you deserve to be happy and loved, pain-free", I told her and she shook her head. "No I don't..."
"Yes you do. End of story", I told her sternly. Her eyes shot up. "Now, you have to rest, you're clearly exhausted. After that, we're getting you some food", I told her, my voice softer again. "You can leave you know, you don't have to stay", Nova told me. Her eyes went down to her lap and she started fiddling with her fingers.
"But I want to stay", I smiled, putting one finger underneath her chin, lifting it up so that her eyes met mine. I used my thumbs to gently wipe away her tears. "Can I give you a hug?" I asked, not wanting to overstep.
She just nodded. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her again. She just melted into me, her head nuzzled itself into the crook of my neck. "Rest", I whispered before kissing the crown of her head.
"I'll be here when you wake up, I promise." I leaned back against the wall so that she was in a better position to rest. Her hands found my shirt, gripping it tightly once again. Her eyes closed and after a few minutes, her body relaxed as well.
I used one hand to mindlessly play with her hair while she slept, while I texted Miss Riley with the other one. She was worried. I assured her Nova was okay and safe, just tired. I spent some time on my phone while Nova slept, just replying to some messages.
After about an hour I got bored, so I put my phone away and put all my attention to the sleeping beauty in my arms. Her chest rose slowly up and down, she looked so peaceful. Her hands hadn't let go of my shirt, I think she was afraid of me leaving her, which I had no intention to do.
I continued combing my fingers gently through her hair, and my mind started wandering. Where was she going to stay tonight? I obviously wanted her to stay with me and Robbie, but I didn't know if she wanted to stay here at the orphanage one last night.
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Heeeyyyy....
Sorry abt the last few chapters, but I feel like this book was in need of some drama xD
I hope you're doing ok, stay safe <3
Love, Frida xx