August's POV
"I swear to god August, if you break another one of my glasses you're fired!" I jumped when my boss, Mr. McAvoy, yelled from the kitchen as I broke my third glass of the night.
"I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry, s-sir. I s-s-swear, it w-wont h-happen a-again." I told his through a sniffle, trying not to break into tears as I went back to washing the dishes. I'm not trying to break the glasses, it's just that I haven't slept since yesterday afternoon and it's already almost midnight. When I get tired my body just stops working right.
Ever since school started a few months ago my schedule's been kind of crazy. It turns out, fourteen is still too young to get a job but with a little begging and reasoning I got a bar downtown to hire me as a dish washer at night and a supermarket to let me stock shelves in the morning before school. In order for them to hire me, I had to agree to work for a smaller rate than regular employees but it's still money and I need as much of it as I can get right now.
Mom got a new boyfriend right after school started and she quite her job again. Her boyfriend, Mark, hangs out at the house all the time but he never pays for anything. Since mom doesn't have a job I need to pick up the slack. If I don't we could lose the house.
To get to my supermarket job on time, I need to leave the house around two in the morning. I work for four and a half hours and then I have to go to school. After school I usually have a few hours to spend at home to sleep and then I have to leave to come and start my shift at the bar. I don't get off until one in morning, that leaves just enough time to go home, change, and leave all over again.
On the weekends I work longer shifts at both jobs and it pretty much takes up all of my time.
Yesterday mom and Mark were home when I came back from school. I tried to be quiet when I came inside so I could avoid them but they were near the front door when I entered. They told me that I had to go to the store and buy them more beer because they were too drunk to drive. I tried to say that I couldn't but that just made Mark mad. The afternoon ended with me having to steal beer from a gas station because I was too young to buy it and some fresh bruises being littered across my body.
It's the first time Mark has ever really touched me like that. Don't get me wrong, he's yelled at me when mom wasn't around but he's never put his hands on me. I don't like Mark, he's a drunk and he makes mom act weird around me, more weird than usual. He's the only reason why I'm glad I work so much, I rarely have to see him with my busy schedule. But when I do see him, it never ends very well.
"I'm docking the broken glasses from your pay and I expect you to stay late tonight so you can finish the dishes you weren't washing while you were cleaning up broken glass." Mr. McAvoy gritted the words out before turning and leaving the kitchen area. I breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally gone and went back to my work.
Mr. McAvoy scares me too sometimes but that's not much of a surprise, a lot of people scare. My mom scares me, Mark scares me, kids at school scare me. The only person that doesn't seem to scare me is Mr. Brooks.
Ever since the first day of school when Mr. Brooks asked me if I was alright, he's been one of the most special people in my life. He's my math teacher so I see him for one and a half hours everyday. I thought I would hate math because I've always found it really hard to understand the subject and my teachers were never really patient with me in the past but Mr. Brooks makes everything easier.
He helps me when I get behind in class and he never gets mad at me. He even helps me with the meanies as school. Anytime somebody makes fun of me or starts pushing me around he makes sure they get in trouble and he always takes care of me afterwards.
The only bad thing about Mr. Brooks is really just the fact that anytime I'm around him I have to stop my mind from slipping into my little space. I cant help it, his kind words and soft personality just makes me feel so small. It's hard not to slip but I somehow manage to get by without messing up. I don't want to know what would happen if Mr. Brooks ever found out I was a little.
He'd probably start treating me like everybody else does. He'll start ignoring me and he'll get mad at me if I'm around too often. I wouldn't be surprised if he even took me out of his cl-
No.
I shake my head softly as I finish washing my last glass of the night. I wont think about that because it wont happen. I wont mess up like that. I'll be a big boy at school and I'll be the biggest boy at work.
The only time I can allow myself to be small is when I sleep in the afternoon. I cuddle Rory and let myself feel tiny for just a little while until I have to be grown again.
The lack of little time just makes me want to daydream more, though. The only thing that gets me through work and school everyday is my dream of one day being taken care of for once. All I want is to not have to worry about how I'll survive and get through the day and instead feel secure in my home.
I just want to feel safe.
Mr. Brooks makes you feel safe. My brain rudely reminds me but I ignore it. Those thoughts are unrealistic, Mr. Brooks probably has his own kids, he doesn't need me getting in his way.
"Are you done yet, August?" Mr. McAvoy asks as he suddenly enters the kitchen. I quickly tucked the towel I was using to dry some of the dishes under the sink and turn towards him.
"Y-Yes, s-sir." I told him quietly, making sure to keep my gaze towards the ground. He seems to have calmed down, I don't want to make him mad again by looking at him.
"Okay, you can go home." Mr. McAvoy dismisses me. I leave through the back door without another word, he's not one for small talk and I'm not usually one to partake in it.
I pulled my MP3 player out of my jean pocket and pop my earbuds into my ears. Without looking and without caring, I click on a random song and begin my twenty-five minute walk home, the sound of 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift instantly calming my racing nerves as I moved through the black of the night.
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When I finally reach my house my legs feel like jelly and I have to pause in front of the door to catch my breath. My lack of sleep and the fact that I haven't had time to eat in a while is making walking places a lot more difficult than I'd like to admit.
It's dark in the living room when I enter and I have to walk through it like a maze so that I don't trip over an empty beer bottle.
"What the fuck are you doing getting home so late?" I jump when I hear a harsh voice speak out into the darkness of the room. The light suddenly switches on and I see Mark sitting on our old, worn out couch, my mom is laying down next to him with a beer bottle dangling from her hand and her eyes shut. I look away when I realize she's only got a pair of underwear on and she's not moving. She blacked out again. It hurts to see her like this but I'm used to it, she's been drunk since I was young. I don't think I've ever really seen her sober, she's always under some sort of substance.
Mark looks similar, he's got a bottle of vodka in his hand and a cigarette hanging between his unclean shaven lips.
"I-I w-was at w-work." I tell him in a whisper. I'm too scared to talk any louder. Mark usually doesn't see me come home at night. He's always in mom's room or out at some bar. It's odd that he's out here with mom while she's blacked out.
"You were at w-w-work?" He asked harshly, chuckling when he imitated my stutter.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry." I'm not sure why I apologized, I just felt the need to before he could get any more mad at me.
"And what do you do for work, huh? Do you shake that little ass of yours for money?" I tried to answer but he didn't leave me any time to. It hurt hearing him assume things like that from me but I don't have time to think about that right now. "You know, your mom's so disappointed in you. I never cared enough to figure out why but I see it now. You're just a useless, little fag, aren't you?" Mark stood up when he finished talking and I took a step back until my back hit the living room wall.
"N-N-No." I disagreed with him, shaking my head from side to side. My body was trembling as I tried to hold in my upcoming tears, I can't show him how weak I really am.
"What did you say, bitch?" I could feel the heat of his disgusting breath on my face as he stepped closer to me. I could tell what he was about to do next so instead of answering his question I ran as quickly as I could out of the living room and up the stairs.
I could hear his heavy footsteps behind me as I quickly threw my bedroom door open and slammed it shut after I was inside, locking it as soon as I could manage.
"Open the door, fag!" He yelled, pounding on the door from the outside. "I said, open the door!" My breathing picked up as his voice got louder.
I rushed to quickly pack my backpack, impulsively deciding to throw Rory in just in case Mark opens my door. Not bothering to change my clothes, I throw the bag over my shoulder, quickly opening the bedroom window and carefully climbed down the rain gutter on the side of my house.
I landed with a thud on the hard ground but breathed a sigh of relief when I was finally out of the house.
You're safe. He can't get you anymore. Nothing bad can happen to you now.
Those words stayed on repeat in my head as I hurriedly made my way to my second job at the supermarket.
I'm safe... for now.
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a/n - hey guys! soo.. i know this chapter isn't very good, i'm just really terrible at writing exposition chapters and i'm still warming up to this story so it might be a few more chapter until the writing gets decent..
anyways... i hope you liked the chapter!! please feel free to comment and let me know what you thought of the chapter and don't forget to vote if you like the story so far :) thank you so much for reading and i hope you all have a lovely day/night! <3
p.s. what do you guys think of august so far? i'm not sure if i'm writing his personality right sooo.. let me know what you think and if everything makes sense :)