Chapter 65
"Soo... what's going on?" Kyle grins, looking around at us all with a raised eyebrow, and I can see what the both of them are trying to do. Distract me from my own stupid thoughts.
It seems the other three like the idea, because they all seem to spark up a conversation, maybe one that doesn't even make sense... but they all put the effort in.
And I can't help but feel the guilt even more as I can see what they are all doing.. what they are doing for me, yet I don't make my own effort to take part in it.
As their conversations die, I can feel the slight bit of awkwardness around the table... and I bite my lip as I hate myself for causing all this.
It's silent until mason speaks up suddenly..
"Oh fuck no.." I look up to him confused and then to Kyle and the others to see all their eyes widening a little with worried expressions...
"What?" I question, looking to him too see a hard glare on his face in the direction behind me.
"Oh fuck no.. he better fuck off right now!" Mason growls lowly, his hand clutching the table hardly as it cracks.
"What? What is it?" I attempt to start to turn around to see what they are all stating at until Kyle shouts at me.
"No! Don't turn around." His voice sounding like a warning which causes me to freeze still and do as he says, but I gulp feeling my heart beating faster as I see their faces and I look to Ellie trying to ask her to tell me who it is with my eyes.
I see her debating with herself wether or not she tells me, but eventually she opens her mouth... hesitating a little bit.. before she mouths just one word that can make my heart stop beating.
Xavier.
Oh god.... Oh gosh he's in the same room. He's here?
I start to feel myself about nearly losing control of my breathing so I try to calm down. The look on my brothers faces reminds me this is the first time that they have saw him since that night.. oh this is bad. I don't know what to do.
Desperately trying to think of something, something to say or do that might possibly just distract them from wanting to run over there and then start a bad school fight with him...
"So... so um... you never told me..." I trail off trying to grasp their attention.. "where is Ryan today?" I ask biting my lip as their gazes slowly fall back to me again...
"What?" Mason mutters blinking his eyes at me with a frown, the amused looks on their faces moments ago had now just completely vanished once again.
"Ryan..." I repeat... "Where is he? He didn't come with us this morning so I was wondering if he was sick or something..." I trail off as I see masons face twist into an example of pure anger mixed with a bit of pain.
Pain?.. pain for what?!
My eyes dart back and forward between them, and suddenly becoming anxious as to why they are being silent and having these deadly serious and angered looks on their faces?!
Oh gosh... oh no please don't tell me..
"He's at home.." Mason finally manages to push out, sounding forced as his knuckles are now turning a shade of white from the grip he's got on the lunch table. "Grey kept him home.."
"So is he sick?!" I push for an answer, as I can't help but feel like I'm missing something.
"No..." Mason closes his eyes breathing deeply as he tries to control his anger he seems to be holding on too.
"No.. then why?" I push, feeling my stomach ache not knowing the answer..
"Oh for fuck sake! No he's not sick! He's at home as grey refused to let him step foot back into this damn school until they sort out those little bastards who hurt him okay!"
I stare wide eyed at mason as he suddenly blurts it out and I blink, taken by surprise as I try and just process what he's said to me.
"W-What?" I spluttered not being able to make any sense of it all...
"He's been getting beat up in a place that's meant to be safe! Those little shits are going to pay just as bad as that other fucker that went and messed up with you."
What.. what... what!
"W-What? I don't understand! What do you mean by he's getting beat up?! Who would even do that too Ryan?!" I myself have raised my voice as the panic of what happened to Ryan sets in.
"How do you know any of this stuff? When did it even happen? Why didn't anyone bother to tell me about it?!"
"Grey told us all the night of the prom! And no we didn't get to tell you because you were acting like a damn psycho running around town and not talking to any of your own older brothers so we could tell you about it." Mason rolls his eyes
"You were to damn blind and obsessed with that asshole to even get it through your head that your own brother was being bullied at school?!"
And with masons words hitting me, causing my eyes to water and my chest to tighten as I fell down to my knees.
Kyle ran for me and rubbed my back as everything was going blurry.
I hadn't noticed he was right! I was too caught up with Xavier to even realise that my older brother had been bullied and beaten up.
But no. No, I was far too busy being sucked into all those stupid little lies Xavier had been feeding me for months.
I should have known.
I've had too much to deal with in the space of a few days. I swear my head could just explode with all the things going on inside me right now.
The guilt, the anger, the Sadness, the pain, the pure rage that pours through me, every emotion under the sun I'm feeling throughout the day, and I just can't deal with it much longer.
I rest my head in my hands, my hands ripping at my hair as I shake my legs up and down and squeezing my eyes shut as I try and push these thoughts out of my head.
Sitting on the steps of these bleachers in the now deserted football field, the only sounds I hear is the sounds of my heavy breathing and the slight sound of the cold wind.
Other than that it's completely silent.. one of the reasons why I found myself here, because it'll allow myself to think without all of the other chaos going on.