[ Italic - past (of dual times)
Normal - present (at the beach) ]
~ | H E R | ~
(Past: 4 years ago)
The blissful time of spring was welcomed,
Atmosphere was beautiful,
Just like our love.
Flowers were growing,
Just like our relationship.
We completed the last step of love,
Marriage.
We were together and the world knew it.
You were mine,
I was yours,
Everything felt more secure now.
Only 6 months of marriage anniversary,
But 9 years of togetherness was completed today.
This love wasn't celebrated,
It was worshipped,
By both of us.
And it always will be the same,
Atleast that's what I hope.
Fights may arrive,
But we will solve them.
Ego may try to ruin things,
But we won't let it come in between.
" Guess I have to cancel our plan " I heard your voice.
" Whyyy? " I said making a face.
" Work! Honey, work "
" Mom called us for a mere dinner and you are cancelling that! How is that fair. I haven't met her from months "
My parents were never a good couple,
But individually they were the best parents.
My mother gave her best to hide everything from me,
My father gave his best to not to get angry in front of me,
But honestly, they failed.
Even in thier marriage, even as a patner.
But not as a parent.
Teenage did made me hate them sometimes,
I did feel like they didn't care how much hurt I was,
But they did.
They cared,
They hid every mess,
Which was created by them only.
" It's just not possible with work all over my head. You go and meet her. I will have to skip this time I guess "
I had an irritated look on my face,
I didn't wanted to fight,
But I wasn't convinced.
" I don't buy that but afterall that's completely your wish " I said in a disappointed voice and started moving away, not wanting to have another fight.
" Understand my situation please, I have some responsibilities now, I have to work not for me, but for us " you said stopping me from leaving.
" I get it and that's why I told you about this two weeks ago. Then you can't cancel all the plans. That's what disappointed me nothing else " I said what is felt.
There are no lies between us,
There are no secrets between us,
Just a good communication,
Because without it,
Any relation doesn't work.
" I like this bitter honesty but seriously I just forgot about it. Will it be okay if I cancel? " You said rather asked.
I nodded at your statement.
" Yes, it's alright. "
A kiss on the side of my head,
And you left biding me bye.
I started doing my work, trying to ignore everything.
As the time passed, I went to meet my parents, alone.
Reaching there, everything felt boring without you.
Maybe because everything was new,
But it wasn't.
Soon The door bell rang,
I wasn't really interested to see who it was, all my mind was thinking about was you, and how you didn't came.
But you did. I can recognise your cologne anywhere, anytime.
I loved it smell.
" Surprise! " You shouted and a big grin plastered on my face instantly.
With the same smile, I ran to hug you. You had the same smile on your face with a cute blush.
I wasn't just happy because you came, I was happy because you cared.
(Past 2: 4 months ago)
Autumn, where everything old falls over, and new enters.
Where everything seems dull and gloomy,
But where everything is silently waiting for leaves to grow again.
Where everyone is waiting for things to get right again.
Change is the rule of nature.
Might be,
But change is something which happens in terms of two direct opposite,
It it grows or it falls,
And as it's autumn, everything falls.
Let it be anything.
Change is necessary, when you bring that condition.
And change in any relationship,
Is like something sudden.
And something you don't want.
Specially when you thought that it will never change.
It's like you know whats happening,
You know why it's happening,
You know how it's happening.
But you don't know how to stop.
First there was fear of you disappearing when I wake up,
Now it's fear of another fights when I wake up.
Another drama, another problem, another crack, another mark.
It's not just you, it's me too.
Things are changing like it shouldn't.
It's like we are loosing something we promised on holding forever.
We completed more then 13 years together,
The holes which we never noticed are getting more big now.
Maybe it is supposed to be like this.
Maybe it's just that we are tired of this.
Tired of each other.
Because after a time even silver has to rust,
Even fruits has to fall,
Even flowers dies,
This is just a relation.
" Guess I have to cancel our plan " I heard your voice. My eyes got closed by themselves as if I was already prepared for this.
" Can I know the reason? " I asked.
" I just got some urgent work. The deal I wanted from so many days, today we have a presentation with the investors " you spoke with nervousness on your face.
Dark circles, under your eyes.
The sparkle in your oceanic eyes was lost somewhere,
The smile on which I along with millon dies on, just feels fake.
Everything feels masked up.
" Great. " Was all I said.
" And what would I even do after coming? You haven't met your parents, you can go and meet them "
" Of course, why will I cancel it? I have habit of going everywhere alone now. " I replied shrugging.
" Please, not that emotional drama again " you said and my eyes shot up towards you.
Atleast I was trying to understand you,
Seeing you looks like you don't care about anything.
" You.. you are calling this drama? " I asked clearly hurted.
" What else? You need to understand I have some responsibilities, I need to fulfill them. " You replied.
" Maybe giving me some time doesn't comes under your responsibility. I don't want to go on a trip with you. Just an hour of your precious time to meet our family. Nothing else. My parents have some expectations from you, I have lost them long ago " I replied trying to keep myself calm.
" It's not like I am ignoring it. I understand that. But I have to work, for you, for me, for our family. And it's not a big deal if I didn't came along once. Somewhere It doesn't matter to be honest "
It does. Not somewhere but everywhere. It does.
And somewhere it also hurts being observant. Noticing every single thing, every single word. Every single action.
It was 'you and me' for you.
" Yeah ofcourse it doesn't " I replied rolling my eyes.
" I am not liking this tone at all " you said making a face.
" So? Somewhere it doesn't matter whether you like it or not. "
" Stop it. Stop acting like this. Don't use my words on me as if I am the wrong one here. I have to work, you have to understand that " you said
" Who are you working for when you don't have time for us? What will money do? " I asked.
We both were irritated at this point, but we weren't letting it show. Not wanting to bring up a mtter again.
" Money will pay the fucking bills. Money will only keep this roof above our head! " you lost your calm and shouted.
" Do not shout! "
" Then what am I supposed to do? Your irritating the hell out of me "
" Don't act like I am the one at fault here. Because I am not. I didn't even ask for any explanation but you gave. Because your heart knows you are wrong, but the fucking male ego won't let you show it. "
" Yeah. I am at fault okay. It's my mistake. You are never at fault. It's just me. It's always me. " You said and threw your hands in the air.
" Stop ruining things. Please stop making it worse. I beg now. You don't want to come, don't come. You want to work, go, leave. But not this again. "
" And here we play the victim again " you muttered but I heard.
With that you left shouting.
" Even living in this house seems frustrating now. I am fed up now "
I was left there alone with your words haunting in my head.
All I wanted was to come into someone's priority list.
For you, it seems like, I am not even a choice now.
Even the deepest sees are polluting,
Even the oldest rocks are breaking,
Even the purest metal can rust.
Once a thing is old, it breaks.
Is it same with a relation?
People wait for new leaves in autumn,
And here I am just seeing the old ones fade, fly, fall.
And all I can do is nothing.
Good times slips fast,
But does bad forever lasts?
It does, in the form of some hurtful memories but it does.
At this point,
Even the most beautiful memories hurts more then the old wounds.
You were with me in both times,
Even in my wonderful memories,
Standing with me,
Even in the time of old wounds,
Healing me.
But now unknowingly, your words are hurting, creating more wounds rather then healing them.
I can't believe, the one who used to heal the wounds, is now giving them, unknowingly.
*
M
aybe it was her fault that she didn't understood him?
Or
Maybe it was his fault that he was too busy to understand?
Whoever's fault it was,
Mutual understanding was fading,
And so was another string.
*
~ ...If it's all in my head tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it... ~
♥️