It was the next day and a taxi drove us up to Marmalade's huge white home. "Wow," Daddy chuckled as we walked in. "Big and fancy," I observed in awe. "Rodent's got taste. Okay," Papa said.
"Huh. Almost makes me want to be cute," Uncle Shark admitted. "They say experience is the best teacher," Marmalade said as we looked up to see him next to his statue of himself holding the Love Crater Meteorite, "And they are wrong. I am."
He then turned to look at us. "Good morning, students of goodness. And welcome to the first day of the rest of your best life," he greeted kindly. "A giant butt," Uncle Piranha blurted out pointing at the meteorite.
We all turned to look at him. "Huh? Uh, it's-it's not a butt. It's a lamp in the shape of the Love Crater Meteorite, my greatest.." "I wonder whose butt it is," Uncle Piranha wondered aloud, not really getting the idea it was heart shaped.
Uncle Shark gasped. "Uh.." "Uncle Piranha, you may want to stop.." I told him. "Please listen to Ms. Mermaid," Marmalade agreed, "Once again, it's not a butt. Thank you. It's a heart. Now, as I was saying.."
"Then why does it have cheeks?" Uncle Piranha asked. We all started to shush him, but he kept at it. "Shut it!" Papa scolded. "What? I've never seen a heart with cheeks." "It's not a..." Marmalade scoffed, but was interrupted when Uncle Piranha blurted, "Booty!"
"It's not a butt! Not a butt! Does he know what a butt is?" Marmalade snapped a bit before calming down, "As I was saying, on the outside, the five of you are villains, predators, remorseless sociopaths."
"Oh, stop. You're making me blush," Uncle Shark said while blushing a bit. Marmalade then turned to me. "And you, Ms. Mermaid, although your species isn't considered a predator and more of a gentle and beautiful creature, people have learned to fear you as a one," he told me, "You are just as much of a villain and sociopath as your family considering they are the ones who raised you."
"I don't know whether to be feel flattered or offended," I said. "But inside, there's a flower... the flower of goodness.. and when it blooms and you feel that tingle of positivity radiating through your body, you're going to want to feel it all the time," Marmalade promised.
"So we're going for a tingle?" I asked slightly confused. "Not any tingle. The tingle of goodness, which you'll feel in my state-of-the-art Sharing Laboratory," he said before gesturing to a table that had two chairs facing each other.
He then walked up to Papa. "Okay, Mr. Snake, I'm going to give you a push pop." He then pulled one out to which Papa snatched from him. "Great! Push pop just for me!" Papa excitedly yelled and was about to eat it when Marmalade corrected, "No, to share."
"Why?" Papa asked with his really face. "Well, on a fundamental level, it's about putting someone else's needs ahead of yours." We then heard a chuckle and looked to see that Papa would have to share the push pop with Uncle Shark.
And we all know how that went last time. "Oh, no. No way," Papa protested. "Snake," Daddy said. "All right, all right." "This is going to taste extra sweet, cause I know how bad you want it," Uncle Shark said as Papa slithered into the other chair.
He then started to slowly raise his tail holding the push pop to Uncle Shark. You could tell from his face he didn't want to do it. As I said Papa's not the kind of guy that would share anything with anyone.
"Pop me, please. Ah.." Uncle Shark opened his mouth wide and Papa was so close to putting the treat into it when he couldn't did it and said, "Nope. Sucker." Papa then ate the push pop himself.
"That's it!" Uncle Shark yelled as he slammed his hands onto the table, "I'll teach you to share!" He then grabbed Papa by the neck and ate him! We all gasped in shock. "Mm, I like sharing. It's yummy. Mm."
"Totally worth it," Papa's voice echoed from inside Uncle Shark's stomach. "Well, that's terrifying," Marmalade commented, "Let's try something simpler."
Time skip
"A good person always pays attention to the needs of others," Marmalade told us when we were outside, "Now, here's a kindly, frail grandma." He then gestured to Daddy, who was dressed as a grandma.
The rest of us couldn't help, but laugh at how ridiculous he looked. "Mr. Piranha, help grandma across the street," Marmalade instructed. "Sure, sure, sure. I do this all the time."
Uncle Piranha walked up to Daddy and took his hand. "Here you go, ma'am," he teased. The rest of us continued to laugh. "Oh, he is totally gonna blow it," Auntie Webs said. "What was that? What did you say? You think I can't do this?" Uncle Piranha questioned aggressively while leaving Daddy's side.
"No, no, no, Piranha!" Suddenly, a truck's horn blared and hit Daddy sending him flying away. "Maybe simpler?"
Time skip
We were now back at Marmalade's home in his equally huge backyard. "Hey, look. It's a cat stuck in a tree," Daddy pointed out. "It doesn't get much simpler than that," Marmalade said, "Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?"
"Eating it?" Papa answered, "This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me." "No. I want you to s..." We all though for a moment before giving out our own answers. "Smack it." "Skin it?" "Stab it." "Sauté it." "Sing to it?" "Saran wrap it?"
"Save it," Marmalade said bluntly, "I want you to sa.. That's obv... It's so obvi... I want you to save it."
"Ohh!" We all said together, "Right, right, right, right, right. Sure." My family looked up at the kitty with smiles before sort of threatening calling out, "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"
The cat got scared and ran up more into the tree. "Woah, that cat is obviously defective," Papa said. "What's wrong with you guys? You're going to give it a heart attack," I scolded.
"Don't worry, Niñita. I'll handle this," Uncle Piranha reassured me. He then jumped up to the trees at the cat's eye level and greeted loudly, "What's up, papa!"
The cat yowled in surprise and jumped out of the tree. It landed on Daddy's face and started to scratch him violently. "Get him off my face! He's on my face!" Daddy screamed. "No, no, no, no, no, listen! Wh-what are you doing?"
The cat yowled once more before going back up into the tree. That's when I decided to give it a try. I walked up to the tree and held out my arms. "Here, kitty, kitty. It's otay. You don't need to be afraid of me," I calmly reassured him.
The cat looked at me with slightly scared eyes, but he did seem more relaxed. "Don't worry, I'll catch you," I promised. The cat seem to think about it for a moment before jumping down from the tree again and landing in my arms.
I cradled it carefully like you would a baby causing it to rub its cheek onto mine and purr. "You're so soft!" I complimented joyfully. I knew by now that everyone was looking at me in surprise.
Especially my family. "My goodness, Sky did it," Auntie Webs said in awe. "See? That's what being a good person is. That's what I need you guys to get good at," Marmalade told them, "Curious, what are you good at?"
"Stealing stuff," I answered while petting the cat's head. "Oh, yeah, we're good at that," Uncle Piranha agreed. "Robbery." "Larceny." "Wire fraud." "Extortion." "Tax evasion." "Heists." "Mail fraud."
"Wait. Heists, you say?" "Well, that's... yeah, that's kind of our specialty," Daddy told him. "I might just have an idea," Marmalade said.
Time skip
We drove up to this laboratory looking building that a crowd was outside of. "Free the pigs! Free the pigs!" They chanted. "That is an animal testing lab," Marmalade explained, "Within, 200,000 helpless guinea pigs, all being poked prodded by sadistic scientists."
"Guinea pigs, you say?" Papa asked excitedly. Oh boy.. "Snake/Papa," Daddy and I said together having an idea on how this will play out.
"I want you to rescue them," Marmalade instructed, "But this is a heist for good, so I brought something more friendly for you to wear." The car moved out of the way to show that we were all dressed in cute onesies.
Daddy in a sheep onesie, Papa in a unicorn onesie, Uncle Shark in a walrus onesie, Uncle Piranha in a teddy bear onesie, Auntie Webs in a raccoon onesie, and me in a corgi onesie.
"Well, there goes our street cred," Auntie Webs complained. "At least it's comfy," I said. We then started our way to the side of the building and started climbing up.
Daddy placed me on his back for this. We got to a window where we saw one of the scientists."Alright, we need to distract that scientist," Daddy said, "Shark, you're up." "Copy that," Uncle Shark replied.
"Okay. We're gonna need a rope and hook." "I got this one," Papa declared. "What?" We asked. "You're volunteering?" Auntie Webs asked. "You've never volunteered for anything," I said very surprised at Papa.
"Sure, I did. Right now." "Uh..." I could tell Daddy wasn't so sure. Probably didn't want Papa to get hurt. "Throw me up there. Giddyap!" "Really?" Daddy asked. "Yep. I'm 99% sure you can make it," Papa encouraged.
"Okay," Daddy said giving in. "Let's do it!" So Daddy threw Papa at the open window, to which he missed the first time. "96% sure," Papa groaned. He then tried again. Missed again.
"Maybe 90%. I don't know." "Maybe you should stop, Daddy," I told him. "No! He'll make it, Sky!" Papa reassured me. But he didn't. Daddy tried over and over, but he couldn't get Papa through the window.
"50... What day is it? Who am I?"
Finally, Uncle Shark pulled Papa and straightened his body, so we can use him as a sorta type rope. I was the first to go. I was easily able to walk over with grace since I was small.
The others then followed and once we got there we pulled Papa in. We quietly walked through the halls and came to a stop at a wall. "Right. The guinea pigs are locked behind a three-foot-thick steel door. The only way in is through the vents," Marmalade explained through Daddy's earpiece.
"I got it," Papa reassured before he squeezed himself through the vents and hurried along. "I have never seen him so chipper," Uncle Shark said, "Has he been meditating?" We then waited outside the door for Papa to open it.
A few minutes went by and Papa hadn't opened the door yet. "I feel like something's wrong.." I said sensing the atmosphere. Mermaids are able to sense an atmospheres feeling and right I was getting a bad one.
"Babe. Come on, babe. Open up," Daddy demanded while knocking on the door. Finally, Papa opened the door. He looked like how he does when drunk. "Relax," he said in a drowsy voice, "These doors are complicated."
He then opened all the way to show he had.. eaten all the guinea pigs. You really can't trust him around them. "Are you kidding me?" Auntie Webs questioned. "What do you think you're doing? We're supposed to save them, not eat them," Daddy scolded.
"Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place." Papa then burped and chuckled. "Alright, that's it. Spit them out." Daddy then grabbed Papa by the neck and started to twirl him around causing him to cough up the guinea pigs.
We tried gathering them, but they made it very difficult. I was trying to pick them up, but they kept biting me and chewing on my hair. I was getting mad. I closed my right eye and reopened it to show it was now a snow white that glowed.
"We're gonna save you whether you like it or not!" I yelled at them. That at least caused them to stop bitting me and chewing my hair, but they continued to squirm in my arms.
"We're saving you, you stupid hair balls," Uncle Piranha said. I then saw one of them hit a big red button besides a door. The door then slowly started to open. The guinea pigs immediately started rushing out into the open.
I heard the crowd scream, but I was more focused on catching the guinea pigs coming out of Papa's mouth. Suddenly, I heard the crowd gasp. We looked forward to see them all staring at us including Marmalade.
"It-it's not what it looks like," Daddy reassured, but then Papa spit out a guinea pig. It squeaked before skittering away. "Oh boy.. We're in for it.." was all I could say.