I felt a familiar though unwelcome pounding in my head. The same I had felt before I was sucked into the Fae world while diving. I couldn't bring myself to ever regret what had happened, I did wish things could have been easier. It took a lot of effort to keep myself calm as the pounding in my head grew stronger through the dinner party. I was trying my best to stay engaged, to help Auris manage the crowd we attracted, to be a pleasant dinner companion at our table. But the cold fear I felt when the pounding went silent in my head, letting me know my time was up, sucked away my ability to hide what was happening.
I watched in horror, as we were locked into a magically sealed room. Hidden stone panels moving slowly into place, each covered with runes to block access to magic. As each stone moved into place more runes along the walls, ceiling and floor glowed, revealing themselves. I could feel Delia's fear as her ability to draw magic was taken from her. But I didn't have time to comfort her, I carried my own magic with me always. Powered by the love my mates gave me.
Black dressed guard flooding into the cavernous space, all focused on me. I felt as my own innate magic took over, regardless of the runes that I imagined were intended to subdue me. I watched from the outside, like it was a movie as my body moved to cast spells, gathering my loved ones closer. I had put up a shield, throwing those that weren't mine outside the boundary of my protection. Until there was a moment where I had all of them together.
Sky, my sweet, steady, thoughtful and endlessly loving first mate. He was so upset, he wanted to come closer to me. To help, but I couldn't let him. He stayed locked in place. Brydel had his arms wrapped around Delia, trying to comfort her, the loss of her magic had deeply affected her, the panic in the room from the other unaware guests was also overwhelming her. Brydel was scared, deeply scared but I could also feel his deep trust in me. I was grateful he was there for Delia, that I had been able to save the joyful wolf, he was the light I had needed. I love both Delia and Brydel, there was no jealousy when I saw them together. Only more happiness that they made each other happy too. Last Auris, my broken dragon who I still didn't fully understand, but just knew I needed. His eyes were so sad right now, I wondered if he knew something I didn't. He probably did, he had had too much time to fill his brain with all the secrets of the world. I hoped he knew I would be ok, I didn't want what was happening to trigger him. To hurt him worse than he already was.
I tried to look each of them in the eyes at the same time that I mouthed I love you, flooding our bonds with my love before I conjured a rip in space and time, and sent my hearts tumbling back to my mansion in the fae city. Hoping they would be safe there. Trusting that they would be.
I felt a tear trace down my cheek after I sent them away. I felt all their hurt at separating. I hoped they knew I didn't have a choice, I wasn't fully in charge of my magic anymore. Spells were flying from my hands, sending black clothed guards flying towards the walls. I was trying to save as many of the hapless guests as I could. Regardless of my desperate efforts it was a bloodbath. The Fae were used to having access to their magic, being able to defend themselves with it. This was well planned and executed. I was trying to get to Titania, to save her, still hungry for the answers she might have when I saw a silver sword erupt through her chest, eviscerating her heart. She had died before I had ever drawn close to her. I had started singing at some point I wasn't sure when, just like at the open mic night so many years ago. The song devolved into a wordless song, resonating through my chest, sounding so sweet in my ears. The room fell into fights around me, until I was nearly invisible in the madness.
The whole cavern had devolved to chaos swiftly after I had sent my mates to safety. Spells and hexes from bottled spells littered the air as everyone left tried to capture their own corner. As I watched the room start to writhe in uncontrolled chaos I became disgusted. So much waste, so much effort in this society was for nothing. How did they stand it? Why weren't they better than the humans on earth when they had actual fucking magic to fix everything. I walked over the corpse of a shifter, wearing a collar identical to the one I had pulled from Brydel with my bare hands. Why was it like this? Things could be so much better.
My voice changed and the pressure of my magic on the room became more intense. None could ignore the song I was singing and most fights had drawn to a close. I raised my arms over my head. The song I was singing changed, its meaning and tone completely different. There was a crack in the air as everything went stark and blinding white around me, and I knew I had changed something drastically again as everything faded to black in front of me. I had a moment where I realized something familiar but different had happened before I was gone. The world seemed to have shifted around me.
I awoke still wearing my ethereal ball down laying on a stone floor that was neither warm nor cold. It just was. I felt like I had been here before. As I stood, a white mist swirled around my feet. I couldn't see very far in any direction, and the light was from everywhere and nowhere, leaving no shadows. "Gotha?" I called, hoping the strange helpful woman was nearby, this was very similar to the first time I encountered her in my dreams. Was I dreaming? This didn't feel like a dream, I didn't remember going to sleep.
The last thing I remembered was, oh god! The dinner! The fight, my mates, were they safe? I sought the bonds in my head and while they didn't feel broken, I couldn't feel anything. "Hello? Is there anyone there? Please?" I couldn't feel them, were they dead? I tried to save them, I was trusting my home would be safe, what if it wasn't? My head felt so empty without their presence inside it. I was alone, set adrift, and I had no idea what to do. My heels were clicking on the stones beneath my feet as I ran, in a stumbling mess as tears started to fall down my cheeks, "Please? Someone, anyone, I can't be here, I need to go back." I cried out into the air.
I kept running, my ankles rolling almost to the point of a sprain. I forced myself back up, to keep going. Knowing I would heal myself enough before I turned my ankle again. Shouting out for someone to reveal themselves. Ahead, the mist changed, I could see a bright spot, glowing yellow like the run ahead. I started to run even faster towards the light, but it never seemed to get closer. I tripped, either on a crack in the unnatural stone ground, or over my own feet it didn't matter. I went sprawling head first to the ground, hitting my cheek against the ground as I fell. My wrist catching too much of my weight, I heard the layers of lace and tulle on my dress tear as my momentum continued to push me forward. I lay as I fell, bruised cheek on the strange stone, my arms bent in uncomfortable positions from trying to stop my fall, "I want to go back..." I cried softly to the ground. Feeling empty and numb. I was alone, unable to feel my mates, and trapped.
"Life only moves forward though" a deep sonorous voice boomed, almost hurting my ears after the oppressive silence. It took a lot of effort, but I pushed myself up on my palms, looking around for the source of the voice. "This way Laurel, you had almost made it, just a few more steps." The voice was the same, but gentler, less loud in my ears.
I pushed down on the ground with my bruised palms, slowly dragging my body up off the ground and back onto my feet. I kicked off the heels. Abandoning them and slowly trudged forward again, towards the glowing yellow light. Working my wrist as I walked as my bones knit themselves back together after breaking during my fall. It wasn't long until I felt a disturbance in the air ahead of me, I held my hand up in front of me, palm out, and there was almost a hum or vibration in the air. I moved my palm forward and it felt like there was an invisible wall made of magic just ahead of me. When my hand passed through I felt no pain, nothing really happened at all. After taking a deep breath I took one more step through the magic barrier into the unknown.
I closed my eyes as I moved through, the magic washing over my skin, tingling like static electricity in the air before a big storm. I opened my eyes and gone was the endless white swirling mists, and instead I was in a lush, verdant garden. Giant trees reaching towards an endless blue sky, thick brush, vibrant plants, and myriad flowers were everywhere. There was no order that I could see, everything just jumbled together in a wild array of color and textures. The grass was soft and the ground springy under my bare feet as I made my way deeper into the foliage, going around large trees and bushes, never seeing any signs of another living thing.
"Hello?" I called out, looking for the source of the voice that had called out to me before. Wondering if I had maybe imagined all of it. Or worse, was I being lured into a trap? I desperately wished I wasn't alone, I fumbled at the bond again, but they were still silent. I kept stumbling forward, my gown catching on branches, tearing as I tried to keep going. One of the inner layers of the skirt caught on a throne bush, I cut my hand trying to pull the dress free. The skirt was almost falling apart now, my blood stained the fabric in messy splotches. I ripped a section of the fabric away and used it to wrap my now bleeding hand while I sat myself down against the trunk of a large tree.
I was hurt, tired, hungry, scared and alone. Cut off from my mates and trapped in what I could only describe as one of the bubble dimensions Damon had said some demons kept their toys and kept pets in. I was holding my injured hand, cradled to my chest, my legs flopped out in front of me, draped in the ruins of my once dreamy ball gown. I wanted to cry, I felt like I should cry. But there was just nothing left inside me. I didn't understand what had happened at the Dragon Council dinner, I had no idea how I had done what I did. I wasn't even sure if my mates were safe right now, that hurt the most right now. As though my heart was split between all of them, and I didn't leave enough of my heart left in my own chest to keep me going.
"I'm sorry everything has been so hard for you Laurel." I knew that voice, it wasn't the one who had called me forward after I fell. I looked up, and there was Gotha. Looking as disheveled as always, fresh stems of ferns adorned her hair along with a golden feather this time. At least we matched this time, I was certain I looked even more unkempt than her right now.
I wiped my tear free eyes, looking up at her. "I want to go home." I said weakly. I was out of strength, all I had done for the past year was lose everything and everyone I loved. I had tried to be strong, to keep going, to never give up, to keep looking for the answers I needed. All it had done was bring me pain. I wanted to get off the merry go round. I wanted to go back.
"No one can ever go back" That wasn't Gotha, I looked at her, her face serene and sad as she looked at me before turning her head to the source of the other voice. It was the one who had called to me when I was on the ground. His voice felt comforting to me, he was wearing a simple sheath of white cloth styled into a draped gown like something out of Greek Myths. As I took in the stranger, I noticed he looked an awful lot like how I looked now. Long straight hair that wasn't white or blonde but something in between, golden eyes that were looking at me with so much intensity, too like my own, and pale skin that almost seemed to glow in the soft diffuse light underneath the tree canopy.
"Who are you?" I asked the stranger that hasn't introduced himself yet. I looked at Gotha and she just shook her head at me. She wouldn't be giving me any answers it seemed.
The stranger walked closer, until he dropped gracefully to his knees beside me, he was staring at me with far too much intensity. I felt no mate bond or other pull towards him. I didn't understand what he was doing, or why I still felt comforted by his presence. "You have been waiting a long time for answers Laurel." He finally spoke, his voice so rich and sonorous that even at a soft volume it would be impossible to ignore. "I am your father, and will answer all your questions." My eyes almost fell out of my head they had opened so far. I didn't know how to react, I looked towards Gotha, my mouth open and wordless.
"He speaks the truth Laurel, you know it. This is your father, you and he have a lot to talk about. I'll be nearby when it is time for us to go Laurel." Gotha said before she swirled away in a whirlwind that scattered leaves around the clearing like confetti. Gotha was right of course, the moment the stranger had said he was my father I knew he was telling the truth.
I still hadn't spoken, I didn't know what to say. I had felt so far away from getting answers that I had never stopped to think about what exactly I needed to know, what I would ask when someone would be able to answer. The only thing that echoed in my mind was the question I had been asked countless times in my life. "What am I?"